NSFW Let's be honest about sex boys and girls

[idiotstillwantstodie]

I developed a biting disorder as a kid and nobody did anything about it because nobody cared about my existence and well-being, so i ended up being an ugly adult. I was always pretty sensitive and despite of always being quite interested in sex, i used to think i would eventually find real love and only then have sex. This until i finally realized at 25 that i was really not attractive enough and paying for sex would be the only way for me to get any.

Thing is, ive been looking around and it seems to me that a even a lot of the attractive men pay for sex. And even when there is no money involved it almost seems like there is always something extra in for the women, some ego or status sort of a thing. I mean do women generally even want to have sex with men just for the sex? Is it that.. "meh" for women?

This is a pretty important question for me since i feel self-destructive and it has a bit to do with the fact that i can't get any without paying for it.

To put it bluntly, It would be pretty easy to find someone poorer than me and bring her to my country, where she can have a better life with the downside of having to take my dick every now and then. But i already know that i wont be enjoying any of it if I'm feeling ashamed for it all the time. So i'd rather just ctb.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

There's no shame. Men end up paying for sex one way or another. Whether it's the food at a restaurant, the gas in your car, the tickets to the movies, etc

 

[4eyebiped]

To answer your one question. When it comes to the "average" woman, yes, they enjoy sex just like men, that is when they enjoy sex. Don't be a lazy lover. Don't forget the mental while lustfully perusing the physical. Talk to her, find out what she is into and what she doesn't like. We are all different here with different tastes, fantasies, fetishes and so forth. If you make sex enjoyable for her, then yeah, she will want to experience it again. People do the things they enjoy. If you go in there, rip her cloths off, pound it for a couple of seconds, leave a mess then tell her to make you a sandwich, well, odds are she will be complaining about headaches, cramps and being tired every time you want some more.

Keep in mind a lot of women are more emotionally driven than physically, once again this varies, you will have to talk to her and find out more. Some are okay with casual relationships and others don't truly enjoy sex until there is a connection.

 

[motel rooms]

This thread is gonna get real ugly real soon...

Thing is, ive been looking around and it seems to me that a even a lot of the attractive men pay for sex.

Really? Maybe that's a str8 thing, so I'm unaware of it.

I mean do women generally even want to have sex with men just for the sex? Is it that.. "meh" for women?

There are tons of women who humiliate themselves by letting hot men treat them like shit just because they're sexually attracted to them.

 

[whywere]

Boy I could have not said it any better than @4eyebiped did. The entire post was spot on and I could not agree with him more. Women generally are driven by emotion, NOT being sexist at all, this is my experience and absolutely nothing wrong with anything ever. Now I am much more emotionally driven than physical as there has to be a one on one mentally for me as far as sex goes.

Always remember that we are all the same in a general sense and also with different aspects within each of us that make life in general and one's own so special.

Walter

 

[Grey-zoner]

Really? Maybe that's a str8 thing, so I'm unaware of it.

...

Yes, definitely a straight thing. It's brutal out there being a straight guy of lower social status/poor social skills.

There are tons of women who humiliate themselves by letting hot men treat them like shit just because they're sexually attracted to them.

This is also true. And some of these guys aren't even "hot", but they've got a certain ability to ensnare women in their bullshit. Call it the "poor acoustic guitarist" effect. Once more though, it comes down to social skills and ability imho.

 

[rationalis]

Yes, definitely a straight thing. It's brutal out there being a straight guy of lower social status/poor social skills.



This is also true. And some of these guys aren't even "hot", but they've got a certain ability to ensnare women in their bullshit. Call it the "poor acoustic guitarist" effect. Once more though, it comes down to social skills and ability imho.

I think it is similarly brutal for poor and awkward gay and bisexual guys also.

Or try being a gay guy and saying you want to wait to have sex - until the second date.

 

[Julgran]

I have already added my input to similar questions in other threads already, but from what I have seen around here, there are a few gay and trans guys (I'm sorry if I'm mis-pronouncing you, because I don't know which directional word that I'm supposed to use, like trans-man or trans-woman) here, and it would be interesting if they would want to give their input regarding the situation between men and women, since they themselves don't need to interact with women sexually - provided they know what I'm talking about, of course.

If I would assume anything, I would suppose that gay and trans guys generally have more wholesome sexual and family lives than straight men and women, but I'm only guessing.

(I wrote this at the same time as Rationalis. Interesting input )

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

All I can see in sexual relationships are men manipulating women and women wanting to be manipulated. It's an eternal fucked up game of hunter and hunt. (There are other external factors as well, such as beauty, status, money and social circle.)

And don't take my text so seriously, i'm a virgin, so idk what i'm talking about.

 

[lonerclown666]

only thing i know its that is over for me and now im here waiting for CTB

 

[motel rooms]

Yes, definitely a straight thing. It's brutal out there being a straight guy of lower social status/poor social skills.

Oh, it's brutal out there for gays & all other humans who are unattractive/poor/socially awkward as well...

 

[dustbiter]

im a woman, i generally enjoy sex quite a bit, yes :3

 

[Mohkinstsis_falls]

hi there! I cant help but feel the same way. even though I'm quite a social person, i don't currently devote a lot of time to finding a romantic/sexual relationship with someone. For some time i've noticed that a specific type of person professes Romantic interest to me a lot ever since I got to that age, but the relationship ususally ends because 1 or both of us aren't ready, so because of that, I'm afraid of expressing too much vulnerability at one time, so that also hobbles me in the sexual marketplace too.

 

[motel rooms]

If I would assume anything, I would suppose that gay and trans guys generally have more wholesome sexual and family lives than straight men and women, but I'm only guessing.

You think gay men have more wholesome sex lives than str8 people? I'm gravely offended.

 

[goldenvirginia]

Of course women enjoy sex. Finding it difficult to meet the right person isn't exclusive to men either. I read so many comments inferring that women are only out for men with money and looks. Some women are I guess, but it's far from all of them. Shallow shitty people exist, both male and female. Let's not forget women have just as hard a time as men.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

Of course i know women enjoy sex. And i also know most of them don't enjoy the act of penetration like men do. That wasn't the point of the post... Let me try again.

The post was about the shame. I just had sex with a prostitute a couple days ago. She was actually into me for some reason, she kept kissing me all the time and even hinted that she might want to go for drinks with me afterwards. But i didn't get much enjoyment even as i climaxed because of the shame i felt. She felt good, physically, but i wasn't really attracted to her.

I guess it really comes down to deciding if i want to be ashamed, or if i want to accept that it's all just power, looks, money, social skills, whatever you got it's just power in one form or another. And in every relationship, when people are being open, expressing their attraction for each other (or the lack of it), one is always going to end up being on the top, and one on the bottom.

Can i accept this? Can i stop being ashamed for being on the top? Can i stop being enraged about the possibility of ending up at the bottom?

I don't think i can.

 

[motel rooms]

And in every relationship, when people are being open, expressing their attraction for each other (or the lack of it), one is always going to end up being on the top, and one on the bottom.

That's a pretty unhealthy, black-&-white outlook...

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

That's a pretty unhealthy, black-&-white outlook...

By all means tell me how you look at it then. That is facts and once you get stabbed in the back enough you get to see that the moments we people really get to exist as equals in this world are fleeting.

 

[little helpers]

I mean do women generally even want to have sex with men just for the sex? Is it that.. "meh" for women?
To put it bluntly, It would be pretty easy to find someone poorer than me and bring her to my country, where she can have a better life with the downside of having to take my dick every now and then.

what you've expressed is a complete "meh" for women. and keep in mind that is a "meh" for humans.

the only reason I'm replying this is becuz I don't wanna see some underclass South Asian / Central Europe / Latinx / African women go ctb due to *your* actions.

I'm sure enough women are triggered by your post already. they'll definitely be able to enjoy sex as it is, *if* this world is not so horrendously full of people like you.

I don't think wanting sex is trivial. I don't think going to sex workers say anything about you, morally. I've always wanted to see a lesbian sex worker (I'm nblw), and I had friends who do sex work. but you've just talked about motherfucking SEX TRAFFICKING, and I don't fucking know how you'd treat sex workers with any respect either.

some extra words, this sort of content goes to the off-topic section. this is Sanctioned Suicide, not "sanctioned misogyny, let's talk about my feelings 'bout sex".

 

[motel rooms]

By all means tell me how you look at it then. That is facts and once you get stabbed in the back enough you get to see that the moments people really exist as equals in this world are fleeting.

Bro, I was stabbed in the back so hard once that the knife almost went through my fucking stomach, but I still know better than to make generalizations about people.

And in every relationship, when people are being open, expressing their attraction for each other (or the lack of it), one is always going to end up being on the top, and one on the bottom.

There are all kinds of relationships... I respect my husband as much as he respects me; I may top him in bed, but I'm not on top in our marriage. He's seen me blubber like a baby & I've seen him bawl his eyes out. I've held him & he's held me. We hold (on to) each other.

 

[little helpers]

All I can see in sexual relationships are men manipulating women and women wanting to be manipulated. It's an eternal fucked up game of hunter and hunt. (There are other external factors as well, such as beauty, status, money and social circle.)

And don't take my text so seriously, i'm a virgin, so idk what i'm talking about.

look, I'm not a man so I wasn't expecting to relate, but this entire thread had my jaw dropped. wait a minute cuz I gotta pick it up from the floor to talk.

I don't know what women think either, can't speak for 'em. but it's astounding that some people think they could. I assume you're not a woman cuz I've known enough women wanting to get out of manipulative relationships (sexual or whatever).

but maybe that's not what you meant. in that case I'm really curious 'bout what led to your observation.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

what you've expressed is a complete "meh" for women. and keep in mind that is a "meh" for humans.

the only reason I'm replying this is becuz I don't wanna see some underclass South Asian / Central Europe / Latinx / African women go ctb due to *your* actions.

I'm sure enough women are triggered by your post already. they'll definitely be able to enjoy sex as it is, *if* this world is not so horrendously full of people like you.

I don't think wanting sex is trivial. I don't think going to sex workers say anything about you, morally. I've always wanted to see a lesbian sex worker (I'm nblw), and I had friends who do sex work. but you've just talked about motherfucking SEX TRAFFICKING, and I don't fucking know how you'd treat sex workers with any respect either.

some extra words, this sort of content goes to the off-topic section. this is Sanctioned Suicide, not "sanctioned misogyny, let's talk about my feelings 'bout sex".

What it is with you people who have to get agitated about everything?

Bro, I was stabbed in the back so hard once that the knife almost went through my fucking stomach, but I still know better than to make generalizations about people.



There are all kinds of relationships... I respect my husband as much as he respects me; I may top him in bed, but I'm not on top in our marriage. He's seen me blubber like a baby & I've seen him bawl his eyes out. I've held him & he's held me. We hold (on to) each other.

It's great that you to have such a wonderful relationship, i'm happy for you. But it's not black & white thinking to state that everything is about power, one way or another. Nor to admit that this power affects every relationship, even if we don't want to see it.

 

[Grey-zoner]

What it is with you people who have to get agitated about everything?

Hotelbeneathground did state this thread was gonna get ugly. Straight guys complaining about women, it's a hot topic.

Not sure if power dynamics is the best way to approach finding a romantic or sexual partner, unless you're a PUA, or into BDSM.

 

[Someone123]

I developed a biting disorder as a kid and nobody did anything about it because nobody cared about my existence and well-being, so i ended up being an ugly adult. I was always pretty sensitive and despite of always being quite interested in sex, i used to think i would eventually find real love and only then have sex. This until i finally realized at 25 that i was really not attractive enough and paying for sex would be the only way for me to get any.

Thing is, ive been looking around and it seems to me that a even a lot of the attractive men pay for sex. And even when there is no money involved it almost seems like there is always something extra in for the women, some ego or status sort of a thing. I mean do women generally even want to have sex with men just for the sex? Is it that.. "meh" for women?

This is a pretty important question for me since i feel self-destructive and it has a bit to do with the fact that i can't get any without paying for it.

To put it bluntly, It would be pretty easy to find someone poorer than me and bring her to my country, where she can have a better life with the downside of having to take my dick every now and then. But i already know that i wont be enjoying any of it if I'm feeling ashamed for it all the time. So i'd rather just ctb.

That's the thing, a sexual relationship like this without caring about each other and sharing your lives together is an empty thing for a person with a conscience. It's no wonder that you would rather ctb than have an empty physical relationship like this.

The strange thing about being an "ugly adult" is that I have seen may people who were less physically attractive become much more physically attractive with certain tweaks to their appearance. Someone might have a really big nose and think this doesn't work and then some people with really big noses look great when they learn how to tweak their appearance in certain ways. A nice haircut, nice clothes, working out, and other things can help. One thing that can really help is working on your facial expressions in a mirror- this chnages the muscles in the face and can make a huge difference in physical attractiveness over time.

There is also a lot to be said for beauty is in the eye of the beholder- if you work on things to be more attractive you are extremely likely to find a girl who finds you attractive- you only need to fall in love with one girl, you don't need all girls to find you attractive.

You may want to watch some makeover videos on youtube (for guys) and you can see how much difference the right clothes for a person can make, plus the right haircut.

 

[little helpers]

What it is with you people who have to get agitated about everything?

you seem very agitated with what I said. what's wrong, kiddo? I'm very (calmly) concerned about you! /s

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

That's the thing, a sexual relationship like this without caring about each other and sharing your lives together is an empty thing for a person with a conscience. It's no wonder that you would rather ctb than have an empty physical relationship like this.

When did i say this potential physical relationship would be completely without care? For me it's naturally mostly about the sex. What else? Verbally experiencing my love? Perhaps through poetry, haikus maybe?

Hotelbeneathground did state this thread was gonna get ugly. Straight guys complaining about women, it's a hot topic.

Not complaining though!

Not sure if power dynamics is the best way to approach finding a romantic or sexual partner, unless you're a PUA, or into BDSM.

You clearly don't get power.

 

[Grey-zoner]

When did i say this potential physical relationship would be completely without care? For me it's naturally mostly about the sex. What else? Verbally experiencing my love? Perhaps through poetry, haikus maybe?

Not complaining though!

You clearly don't get power.

If it's mostly about the sex, just see a sex worker or escort. There should be plenty of opportunities. No reason to be ashamed, and you might really enjoy it.

 

[Someone123]

When did i say this potential physical relationship would be completely without care? For me it's naturally mostly about the sex. What else? Verbally experiencing my love? Perhaps through poetry, haikus maybe?

Not complaining though!

You clearly don't get power.

Sharing meals together, sharing times together with family and friends- holidays and other get togethers, someone to talk to about things that go wrong in your life, someone to talk to about things that go well in your life, possibly raising kids together if you both want to, sharing experiences with pets, someone to laugh with and joke around with, someone to go to moviues with or work out with, etc- all of these experiences make the relationship richer if it is a good relationship- then it's not only about sex, though sex is clearly very important in a relationship.

 

[motel rooms]

It's great that you to have such a wonderful relationship, i'm happy for you. But it's not black & white thinking to state that everything is about power, one way or another. Nor to admit that this power affects every relationship, even if we don't want to see it.

I agree with @Grey-zoner

Not sure if power dynamics is the best way to approach finding a romantic or sexual partner, unless you're a PUA, or into BDSM.

Maybe I'm really naive, but I don't think that all romantic relationships simply have to be all about the struggle for power. It's possible to be equals. Compassion might be rare, but it exists. Sometimes the stronger person carries the weaker one without any sinister ulterior motives.

 

[Thankyoufortoday]

Hi, woman here. I have BPD, my view on sex is distorted. I'm in a long term relationship and I've come to associate sex with validation and acceptance. If my boyfriend turns me down, I instantly feel hideous, rejected, and worthless. It leaves me so broken. The actual sex act itself can be really enjoyable sometimes, but there's always more to it.