Help Porn addicts how do u cope

[BojackHorseman]

I really do want to talk to her but I'm still find this addiction as a weak point and I'm ashamed to her I'm this perfect guy and this sex god I really don't wanna break it but ik I need to talk to her I hate even the thought of her being my ex

I understand, it's hard to talk about. My husband has been my best friend for over a decade now and my suicidal thoughts and this are the 2 things i dont talk to him about, and we talk about EVERYTHING together. So I get it.

I'm not trying to rub it in, I know she made you feel unsupported when you were hurting. But keep in mind too, did she see the stuff you were watching? You mention snuff and gore... I'm not judging you I promise. I totally understand that just cause you watch something, doesn't mean you want to actually do that something. Did she see something that maybe frightened her? As a woman, statistically we are at the greatest danger from men we know, not strangers. Again, as someone with issues myself, I totally understand that just cause you watch something doesn't mean you want to do that something. But statistically she has even right to have been a bit worried or scared if she was blissfully unaware and then suddenly presented with something like that. I'm not trying to say she was right or wrong for leaving, just trying to help you maybe understand so your not so angry with her.

I applaud your honesty and bravery to speak about it here. That's a step in the right direction to talking to her and/or a therapist. So please feel good about yourself for that

Best I've ever read: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580054/chapters/33692514

Here's some other two you may like. Both quite disturbing imo, with plenty of well-written and unique sex scenes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42731187/chapters/107348172

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28167282/chapters/69019371

This site is news to me! Thank you! I hurried to video game fandom in the hopes of some Geralt, but alas nothing. But I did find some One Piece in the manga fadom, so thanks

 

[javie33]

did she see the stuff you were watching? You mention snuff and gore

I only mentioned bits and pieces because she knows my reasoning is because I've seen people get killed in front of eyes like my previous ex before her killed herself in front of me with a gun so I was coping but watching snuff films to feel again but I was upfront in honest about it because ik how scary men could be to women she didn't seem to set off about it but I definitely can see her keeping it in the back of her mind with all the other stuff adding up but I was never too sure on how she felt we were never really open about feelings as much js sex

 

[gogoprince]

I never really thought about this I don't have many people in my life to talk about these things but I definitely am seeking out support groups of u know any

This is the main website for Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) here. It lists meetings that are both in-person and over Zoom. If you're looking at stuff strictly online you could get yourself into a meeting the same day. It's a twelve-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, so the format of meetings typically is drawing from the Sex Addicts Anonymous handbook and then there is a space for open sharing. If its something that you'd feel comfortable with, I'd encourage you to share what brought you there in front of a group and then try to reach out to an experienced member afterwards. You will encounter all types of people in these groups, people who have hit rock bottom in many ways: they got in trouble with the law, lost their families, or jobs, but also people who just really struggle with compulsive masturbation or pleasure seeking. The group, I will say, tends to be older, straight men with families and that can feel intimidating if you are a younger person, but I would give it a chance.

There's also information listed on whether SAA is for you, whether you're questioning if you have a sex-addiction, stuff like that. Hope this is helpful.

 

[BojackHorseman]

I only mentioned bits and pieces because she knows my reasoning is because I've seen people get killed in front of eyes like my previous ex before her killed herself in front of me with a gun so I was coping but watching snuff films to feel again but I was upfront in honest about it because ik how scary men could be to women she didn't seem to set off about it but I definitely can see her keeping it in the back of her mind with all the other stuff adding up but I was never too sure on how she felt we were never really open about feelings as much js sex

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear that happened. I think you shouldnt feel bad about your issue, I'm sure your not the first person to react and cope with that in the manner that you have. As a woman, thank you for understanding how things can be scary for us. I think that shows your a kind person, so don't beat yourself up. I wish you the best with therapy, and the suggestion to visit the SAA site was a great idea as well.

 

[returntothevoid]

To the people suggesting written porn, I don't recommend it. I used to have a severe porn addiction and that's how it started for me. It started with me drawing my own as a kid, then I started reading stories, then watching videos. The only thing that worked was going cold turkey. It's hard but it's possible. The suggestion to spend your time in public spaces is a good recommendation. Find other less destructive vices. Like coffee or tea, make sure you're spending time with other people in real life too. You can't masturbate if your friend is right next to you.

 

[javie33]

I

This is the main website for Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) here. It lists meetings that are both in-person and over Zoom. If you're looking at stuff strictly online you could get yourself into a meeting the same day. It's a twelve-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, so the format of meetings typically is drawing from the Sex Addicts Anonymous handbook and then there is a space for open sharing. If its something that you'd feel comfortable with, I'd encourage you to share what brought you there in front of a group and then try to reach out to an experienced member afterwards. You will encounter all types of people in these groups, people who have hit rock bottom in many ways: they got in trouble with the law, lost their families, or jobs, but also people who just really struggle with compulsive masturbation or pleasure seeking. The group, I will say, tends to be older, straight men with families and that can feel intimidating if you are a younger person, but I would give it a chance.

There's also information listed on whether SAA is for you, whether you're questioning if you have a sex-addiction, stuff like that. Hope this is helpful.

I looked thru the website Im definitely a sex addict looking into it I plan on tuning in to a meeting Saturday im a young adult so I might be out of place a bit given the whole sexuality thing but thank you