Venting Dear incels (a light hearted rant from a woman)

[FadingDawn]

Basically as halley said, saying you want sex, etc, is one thing; actually being an incel, spreading even the seeds of that ideology under a placid outward guise, is not okay; and there is a reason why they get banned off reddit, twitter, and are universally despised. This place should not be a safe haven for them, unless they're willing to be reformed. Some men do feel lonely dating, etc; but the incel ideology, or whatever it is, is by now so infamous to anyone who even uses the internet, that there doesn't exist a legitimate reason for any guy to associate himself with it, unless -- in some or another -- he agrees the degenerate blackpill stuff,

 

[Dot]

Sme1 wh/ identfis as a nn-myognist incel & wh/ nevr psts sexst mterial on th/ ste hs commntd 2 xplain hw threds lke ths r hurtfl 2 thm & thr wrds r cmpletly ignord in prsuit of th/ 'all incels r a monolith' commnts

Hre r sme radcl ideas

• If u d/ nt lke incel rhetorc thn d/ nt vist incel webstes
• If sexst/incel rhetorc = b-ing spred on SaSu thn rport thm
• Th/ ignre buttn = ur frnd
• D/ nt strt threds abt othr suffrng membrs wh/ r mindng thr own bsiness & tryn2 fnd spport on th/ ste lke evry1 els & strt callng thm losrs

SaSu = nt goin2 ban ppl jst bcse thy identfy wth th/ incel labl bcse agn thy r nt all sexst violnt racst a-hles - membrs on SaSu r judgd b/ thr indvidl b-havrs & commnts

= tht levl of mockry fr strugglng soclly whch drves ppl furthr in2 isolatn & xtreme cmmuntis

 

[Anon1337]

Your sex would only make it worse for them. You'd give them a taste of something they can't have on a regular basis.

 

[halleyscomet]

Sme1 wh/ identfis as a nn-myognist incel & wh/ nevr psts sexst mterial on th/ ste hs commntd 2 xplain hw threds lke ths r hurtfl 2 thm & thr wrds r cmpletly ignord in prsuit of th/ 'all incels r a monolith' commnts

Hre r sme radcl ideas

• If u d/ nt lke incel rhetorc thn d/ nt vist incel webstes
• If sexst/incel rhetorc = b-ing spred on SaSu thn rport thm
• Th/ ignre buttn = ur frnd
• D/ nt strt threds abt othr suffrng membrs wh/ r mindng thr own bsiness & tryn2 fnd spport on th/ ste lke evry1 els & strt callng thm losrs

SaSu = nt goin2 ban ppl jst bcse thy identfy wth th/ incel labl bcse agn thy r nt all sexst violnt racst a-hles - membrs on SaSu r judgd b/ thr indvidl b-havrs & commnts

= tht levl of mockry fr strugglng soclly whch drves ppl furthr in2 isolatn & xtreme cmmuntis

Never said they should be banned or deleted or anything of the sort. Incels are explicitly misogynistic wether you like it or not, men who aren't misogynistic and that struggle with the same thing don't call themselves incels now do they? My post never targeted individuals, and you know it because if it did I'm sure I would of gotten a warning or my post deleted. It's okay for them to come on here and find support I encourage it just as much as everyone else! I don't think anyone on here wants insecure men to go without any help or resources to improve. However if people are going to come on here and whine and blame women for all of their problems then of course a lot of us are going to have a problem with it.

It was a lighthearted rant at the end of the day. I never targeted anyone, and I wasn't mocking men's genuine struggles. I was mocking individuals that use the term incel to justify sexist degenerate behaviours, which I and many others have every right to do so. Thanks.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Incels are explicitly misogynistic wether you like it or not, men who aren't misogynistic and that struggle with the same thing don't call themselves incels now do they?

Hi. I try not to explicitly be misogynistic but I'm aware that my mere existence as an incel is misogynistic enough so I'm sorry. I can't not call myself one because that would be lying. Saying all incels have to hate women is like saying all atheists have to hate religion or that all vegans and vegetarians have to hate people who eat meat.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Sme1 wh/ identfis as a nn-myognist incel & wh/ nevr psts sexst mterial on th/ ste hs commntd 2 xplain hw threds lke ths r hurtfl 2 thm & thr wrds r cmpletly ignord in prsuit of th/ 'all incels r a monolith' commnts

Hre r sme radcl ideas

• If u d/ nt lke incel rhetorc thn d/ nt vist incel webstes
• If sexst/incel rhetorc = b-ing spred on SaSu thn rport thm
• Th/ ignre buttn = ur frnd
• D/ nt strt threds abt othr suffrng membrs wh/ r mindng thr own bsiness & tryn2 fnd spport on th/ ste lke evry1 els & strt callng thm losrs

SaSu = nt goin2 ban ppl jst bcse thy identfy wth th/ incel labl bcse agn thy r nt all sexst violnt racst a-hles - membrs on SaSu r judgd b/ thr indvidl b-havrs & commnts

= tht levl of mockry fr strugglng soclly whch drves ppl furthr in2 isolatn & xtreme cmmuntis

I'm pretty sure OP was only making a thread about the problematic behaviours though, not necessarily self-identified incels anyway despite the previous post. I skimmed this thread a few times, so it's possible someone other than OP did that.

I honestly felt like OP was trying to make some of them feel better, not worse. If a non-msg s-i incel says otherwise, though...

 

[FadingDawn]

Never said they should be banned or deleted or anything of the sort. Incels are explicitly misogynistic wether you like it or not, men who aren't misogynistic and that struggle with the same thing don't call themselves incels now do they? My post never targeted individuals, and you know it because if it did I'm sure I would of gotten a warning or my post deleted. It's okay for them to come on here and find support I encourage it just as much as everyone else! I don't think anyone on here wants insecure men to go without any help or resources to improve. However if people are going to come on here and whine and blame women for all of their problems then of course a lot of us are going to have a problem with it.

It was a lighthearted rant at the end of the day. I never targeted anyone, and I wasn't mocking men's genuine struggles. I was mocking individuals that use the term incel to justify sexist degenerate behaviours, which I and many others have every right to do so. Thanks.

mocking incels isn't being neglectful of men's problems btw. Saying "women are not giving out sex like candy", or even a more polite and "political" version of this sentiment, is not only insulting to men and women, it has terrible implication about men not getting sex being a legitimate issues. These people are already complaining women aren't forced into prostitution and distrusted to thirsty incels, if you care to read their forums -- this isn't me trying to be vulgar btw, and I hope I'm not; but this is a very light, and very common, instance of the incel sentiments: they were visible and apparent on reddit, before their community there got banned(rightfully so); and it's even more vulgar and apparent on their new forums. Patriachily formed and solidified views and versions of masculinity, and the whole cluster of things assosciate with it, can be perpeuted even by who are victims of it at the same time; but this is no excuse.
Racism also harms people of colour, and the people who actually live with these horrendous sentiments about other human beings; this doesn't mean racism should be tolerated, for example. Far be it for me to invalidate a person's struggle, of course -- and I do not intend to do that -- I do not think this forum should, for example, tolerate anti-semitism because someone is of the lofty opinions that the reasons the economy is failing, and can't afford anything is the J*ws. This shouldn't be a safe space for bigots.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Hi. I try not to explicitly be misogynistic but I'm aware that my mere existence as an incel is misogynistic enough so I'm sorry. I can't not call myself one because that would be lying. Saying all incels have to hate women is like saying all atheists have to hate religion or that all vegans and vegetarians have to hate people who eat meat.

I always assume it's because you're a virgin(presumably?) so the label makes sense to you, and I don't see you as the same as what OP is talking about. The problem is when you get incels that aren't even virgins, but still call themselves incels and propagate entitled, toxic rhetoric because they can't get women sex slaves on tap.

 

[halleyscomet]

Hi. I try not to explicitly be misogynistic but I'm aware that my mere existence as an incel is misogynistic enough so I'm sorry. I can't not call myself one because that would be lying. Saying all incels have to hate women is like saying all atheists have to hate religion or that all vegans and vegetarians have to hate people who eat meat.

If you're actively trying to go against poor beliefs about women then you're okay and we welcome you here! If you're actively trying to be better then I wouldn't call you an incel, because you're actively trying to improve your beliefs, which incels don't do they use that term to justify staying in that mindset. If that makes sense?

 

[weatherforecast]

I tend to sympathize with incels more because I am one. Everyone who thinks that all of them can change is wrong, only a select few get to break out and even then it takes a lot more work than it looks. It's not because they're ugly or short, it really is because of mindset and attitude but saying that's easy to change is rich coming from anyone on a suicide forum.

I agree, but I would like to add that there is a societal aspect to it. I think most people can get a partner, just not in a timely fashion… aka without getting rejected a few times & possibly losing hope. Lookism makes it harder, although not to say it is impossible; This is just like any other condition such as BPD, autism, etc, where it becomes harder to find someone for you.

I don't think men that struggle with self esteem and have their virginity are losers, they only become losers if they become sexist assholes due to it.

I think you're pretty cool for this, but it would be great if everyone felt the same…

As a response to your whole post:
What would you think of a femcel who was forcefully married to an abusive man? What if everyone around them said they were the problem (due to culture?)
It is difficult to make blanket statements on topics like this because it is like "fill in the blank." The femcel in my example may believe you are the same as the others (that told her she was she problem). They might not explain their situation in a reply, and seem needlessly hostile. It is also hard to be specific as you cannot include every scenario. Therefore in my opinion saying

This also applies to femcels that hate all men and shit yall are losers too.

this is not useful even if justified. Though, I don't care what you say in extreme examples, like if an incel states all women are inferior.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I always assume it's because you're a virgin(presumably?) so the label makes sense to you, and I don't see you as the same as what OP is talking about. The problem is when you get incels that aren't even virgins, but still call themselves incels and propagate entitled, toxic rhetoric because they can't get women sex slaves on tap.

Yes I am a virgin. And I would rather have the emotional intimacy and physical connection from sex rather than just the act alone. Incels that aren't virgins might as well be fakecels but the label itself is one that even some hyper misogynists shun because they like to think they're above it all. To some people they see incels as the betas who are weak and submissive to women and willing to treat them equally. Obviously they're wrong but the point is there can still be plenty of men who treat women horribly and wouldn't be called an incel by any definition of the word.

If you're actively trying to go against poor beliefs about women then you're okay and we welcome you here! If you're actively trying to be better then I wouldn't call you an incel, because you're actively trying to improve your beliefs, which incels don't do they use that term to justify staying in that mindset. If that makes sense?

My beliefs don't make me an incel, my situation does. I am trying to improve that though but trying to deny that it's what I am isn't going to improve my mindset either. It would just give me more delusions of grandeur and probably cause me to hurt more women as a result.

 

[halleyscomet]

Yes I am a virgin. And I would rather have the emotional intimacy and physical connection from sex rather than just the act alone. Incels that aren't virgins might as well be fakecels but the label itself is one that even some hyper misogynists shun because they like to think they're above it all. To some people they see incels as the betas who are weak and submissive to women and willing to treat them equally. Obviously they're wrong but the point is there can still be plenty of men who treat women horribly and wouldn't be called an incel by any definition of the word.


My beliefs don't make me an incel, my situation does. I am trying to improve that though but trying to deny that it's what I am isn't going to improve my mindset either. It would just give me more delusions of grandeur and probably cause me to hurt more women as a result.

Either way, you're not the type of person I was talking about in this post and I wish you all the best on your journey.

 

[FadingDawn]

Btw, it's far for me to make assumption about gender; I myself would be quite upset if someone did that me, and I know how bad it can be — but, and I think I'm fair on saying, most people who supported me or others on the incel issue here, have been largely female; of course, I may be wrong — and I'll freely admit that. )There are of course people who might be male and NB, as that other guy in the post was; and saying the regular incel talking points about females, the dating market place, sex, etc, is probably very degrading to us too.)

But you know, of course I'm sure no one on this site would think it good to seem that the forum is in some some way protecting members of a universally despised and degenerate subset of people on the internet, at the expense of the female members of this forum — who might or might not have already experienced the kind of things these people think, say or try to do in life or online. If's not my place to say of course, and I want to be respectful of that. But still, something to think about: why some members might have experience of the matter and why it can be toxic and inimical to any good community; while another subset of people, though they can try to understand, usually don't have to deal with incel talking points and the undertones or direct implications of their ideas, because they aren't affected by them. Now, I hope Halley or someone can correct me if I said something imporer, condescending or out of line… But this is at least one, among many another, of the principle reasons
why I personally feel very uncomfortable with the incel recrudescence on this forum.

 

[halleyscomet]

Btw, it's far for me to make assumption about gender; I myself would be quite upset if someone did that me, and I know how bad it can be — but, and I think I'm fair on saying, most people who supported me or others on the incel issue here, have been largely female; of course, I may be wrong — and I'll freely admit that. )There are of course people who might be male and NB, as that other guy in the post was; and saying the regular incel talking points about females, the dating market place, sex, etc, is probably very degrading to us too.)

But you know, of course I'm sure no one on this site would think it good to seem that the forum is in some some way protecting members of a universally despised and degenerate subset of people on the internet, at the expense of the female members of this forum — who might or might not have already experienced the kind of things these people think, say or try to do in life or online. If's not my place to say of course, and I want to be respectful of that. But still, something to think about: why some members might have experience of the matter and why it can be toxic and inimical to any good community; while another subset of people, though they can try to understand, usually don't have to deal with incel talking points and the undertones or direct implications of their ideas, because they aren't affected by them. Now, I hope Halley or someone can correct me if I said something imporer, condescending or out of line… But this is at least one, among many another, of the principle reasons
why I personally feel very uncomfortable with the incel recrudescence on this forum.

Exactly! I was recently sa'd by someone who identified with incel behaviours and ideology, of course I don't want to come on here for relief and see people spouting the same views that resulted in someone raping me. Incels are not only discriminatory but they can be dangerous. They shouldn't have a place on a forum because by doing so we are inherently encouraging this behaviour. People that struggle and want to improve should be welcomed with open arms, people who are insistent in spreading this ideology shouldn't have a place here.

 

[FadingDawn]

Exactly! I was recently sa'd by someone who identified with incel behaviours and ideology, of course I don't want to come on here for relief and see people spouting the same views that resulted in someone raping me. Incels are not only discriminatory but they can be dangerous. They shouldn't have a place on a forum because by doing so we are inherently encouraging this behaviour. People that struggle and want to improve should be welcomed with open arms, people who are insistent in spreading this ideology shouldn't have a place here.

Omg… I'm very sorry to hear that. It's truly tragic to hear it. I'm sorry

 

[halleyscomet]

Omg… I'm very sorry to hear that. It's truly tragic to hear it. I'm sorry

Reading that comment that had that dude admit to raping women was very disturbing to see. I can't believe people think that's okay to do and put on this site. I have been assaulted in that exact same way and I can confirm we neither want it or have any ability to consent and it haunts us for a very long time. People who think with that kind of ideology shouldn't have access to vulnerable women on this site. It puts us women at risk.

 

[Dark Moon]

I'm extending my post; I can't articulate myself aswell as SexyIncel or the others can.

I can't tell if the OP was joking but it definitely feels like it is condescending.

I don't know if I can be coined as an incel because I have had my chances in the past but couldn't capitalize on it, likely because i'm neurodivergent/autistic and the difficulty to socialize. I hope I'm not coming across as having ego/narcissist.

I never once expressed hatred for women or race etc. on this site.

Improving my situation is going to be very difficult with my mental state, age, current situation and my ASD can't be cured.

I did want to have a girl I liked to go on a date with, have sex and intimacy although
I like my alone time and isolation.

 

[FadingDawn]

Reading that comment that had that dude admit to raping women was very disturbing to see. I can't believe people think that's okay to do and put on this site. I have been assaulted in that exact same way and I can confirm we neither want it or have any ability to consent and it haunts us for a very long time. People who think with that kind of ideology shouldn't have access to vulnerable women on this site. It puts us women at risk.

Sorry to beat a dead horse; but even the incels who idiolise Andrew Tate often make excuses "oh, no, he isn't really a sex trafficker; all the bad stuff he says is out of context; etc"; and of course no is that stupid tbh. But still, they know what's expected of them to behave ina civil society — they can't outright say they're misogynists — but the things they defend, tacitly accept, and how they interact with consequently is quite obvious, painfully and horrendously obvious to most other people: especially those who are the victims of their actions and beliefs. I'm being fairly terse, because I'm tired and on my phone so I can't really elaborate much more on my thoughts here. But it's sad a site which has helped me so much, with so many amazing and kind people, is going down a path where I either leave or they take the problems seriously. Anyway, hope you have a great night or day, and I hope to see you more on here in the near future.

And again… so sorry for what you've been through. So awakened only saying it…. But it just feel odd not knowing or having anything that can help or fix things.

(which I guess is humanity's common predicament)

 

[halleyscomet]

I'm extending my post; I can't articulate myself aswell as SexyIncel or the others can.

I can't tell if the OP was joking but it definitely feels like it is condescending.

I don't know if I can be coined as an incel because I have had my chances in the past but couldn't capitalize on it, likely because i'm neurodivergent/autistic and the difficulty to socialize. I hope I'm not coming across as having ego/narcissist.

I never once expressed hatred for women or race etc. on this site.

Improving my situation is going to be very difficult with my mental state, age, current situation and my ASD can't be cured.

I did want to have a girl I liked to go on a date with, have sex and intimacy although
I like my alone time and isolation.

If you don't hate women for your lack of intimacy, you are not who I was talking about. I think people misunderstand what I say by sex isn't important, what I meant by it isn't as important as society and the patriarchy makes it out to be. I'm autistic too so I understand that struggle, I wish you well on your journey.

 

[FadingDawn]

If you don't hate women for your lack of intimacy, you are not who I was talking about. I think people misunderstand what I say by sex isn't important, what I meant by it isn't as important as society and the patriarchy makes it out to be. I'm autistic too so I understand that struggle, I wish you well on your journey.

I've also been diagnosed with ASD, along sith other things…. It's sucks, truly miserable. No excuse for being an incel either way

If you don't hate women for your lack of intimacy, you are not who I was talking about. I think people misunderstand what I say by sex isn't important, what I meant by it isn't as important as society and the patriarchy makes it out to be. I'm autistic too so I understand that struggle, I wish you well on your journey.

lol sorry to still bother you and reply… but I think this is pertinent here and I don't feel like starting a new thread about it when I should be sleeping lol…. but I just realised wtf is going on in the philosophy channel. Some guy is concerned if "the islamists are taking over the west" lol. And people are taking him seriously. Literally this garbage is a prime example of what I mean… this place is becoming a shadowy version of an incel forum, if it hasn't been so before

 

[WhatAFish]

I do understand it. I know what it's like to be insecure and to feel unlovable. But I do not blame women or men for that.

I spent so long hating myself and believing that my looks and personality made me unlovable, but as soon as I stopped pitying myself and put my best foot forward I found that people were attracted to me. Incels are stuck in a self pitying mindset where they blame everyone else for their shortcomings. Society is the problem, not women. If you improve yourself mentally and physically, people will see that and want to be around you. If you're miserable and whining 24/7 then there's no wonder people don't like you, it's exhausting to be around.

The problem here is that you're projecting your success as a woman, to what men need to do to succeed. This is why you don't understand the topic of incels.

You simply don't understand what it's like to get 0 matches on dating apps, to have the other gender think you're a threat by default and have lesser social circles statistically.

This is partly a societal issue and that's why you can't just go "get good lol" to them, it solves nothing and is just dismissive of their actual life experiences.

The truth is a lot of men are unlovable, not just feel unlovable

 

[SilverFog]

I'm scared I might be headed down that path, I really hope I remain self aware enough to not go that far. I'm a lonely dude who tried going down the femboy route and that didn't work so well lol. If I do become an incel, imma kill myself and deserve it.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Volcel supremacy

 

[Dark Moon]

If you don't hate women for your lack of intimacy, you are not who I was talking about. I think people misunderstand what I say by sex isn't important, what I meant by it isn't as important as society and the patriarchy makes it out to be. I'm autistic too so I understand that struggle, I wish you well on your journey.

No, I don't hate women.

 

[AnxiousLlama]

I am an incel, on incels.is. I am a depressed untERmensch dalit subhuman, ovERweight, short (5'6"), brown (ewww), no social skills, extreme anxiety etc. Basically I live a pathetic existence. When I die I also have the duty of somehow vaporizing my body out of existence. I don't hate women, I hate the current system run by effeminate men. Every step of the way to becoming a normal human it blocked me. First I could not get HGH to increase my height when I was younger because it was a controlled substance, then I couldn't legally get steroids to deal with my low testosterone. Now I can't buy a gun to cope as a hobby or CTB. I tried so hard to be normal, yet now I just rot online all day every day and I get anxiety and start shaking when I walk past an attractive woman irl.

I don't hate you, or women in general, I just hate the histrionic (extroverted) mainstream as well as the Chads and men involved in supporting such a system. I don't care about human affection or love since I will be soon gone from Earth, but I hate those who made the bit of life I did live into living hell. I do think though that they are mainly online, IRL incels and feminists are less common. Today I talked to a woman and she was the nicest, most considerate person I've ever talked to. I still remember her and her kindness.