Goodbye Thread

[isthisit?]

I will do it in more than 4 hours from now

Good luck!

 

[HopefulSleep]

I changed my mind, I will rather listen to this song instead of mario

 

[sorrowful]

i have seen you on here a few times, you will be remembered. i wish you safe travels and i hope you find peace. ❤

 

[Elle]

Hope you find peace

 

[HopefulSleep]

i have seen you on here a few times, you will be remembered.

You really think people will remember me?

i wish you safe travels and i hope you find peace. ❤

Thanks.

Hope you find peace

Thank you too.

 

[Elle]

You really think people will remember me?

Thanks.

Thank you too.

Ah you're still here, that's awesome news! How are you?

 

[HopefulSleep]

Ah you're still here

I will try swb ctb at in less than 3 hours from now.

How are you?

Happy that I will maybe be dead in some time.

 

[Elle]

I will try swb ctb at in less than 3 hours from now.

Happy that I will maybe be dead in some time.

Oh.. I hope you can find peace, hugs.

 

[HopefulSleep]

Oh.. I hope you can find peace, hugs.

Thanks

 

[HopefulSleep]

Changed plan, doing it at 4am isn't a good option to try swb cause my sister came with my brother at home and they are awake from a festival, I will do it between 10am and 3pm when my brother is gone and sister sleeping.

 

[readytostopmypain]

How old are you? If you don't mind me asking?

 

[HopefulSleep]

How old are you? If you don't mind me asking?

I turned 19 today

 

[Tatenokai]

I turned 19 today

I know your mind is made up but I hope you reconsider. I see your from Deutchsland. sprichst du Deutsch?

 

[HopefulSleep]

I know your mind is made up but I hope you reconsider.

If you were in my situation you would do the same thing

sprichst du Deutsch?

Ja

 

[Tatenokai]

If you were in my situation you would do the same thing

I haven't unlocked the ability to DM yet but I would really like to understand your situation. I understand you might not want to spend your last hours going over a lifetime of pain but it might be of help to me or others in the future if you could talk about it. What led to all of this?

 

[HopefulSleep]

I haven't unlocked the ability to DM yet but I would really like to understand your situation.

I don't remember when you unlock that.

I understand you might not want to spend your last hours going over a lifetime of pain but it might be of help to me or others in the future if you could talk about it. What led to all of this?

I already stated I got abused and have thoughts I don't want cause of that.

 

[Tatenokai]

I don't remember when you unlock that.

I already stated I got abused and have thoughts I don't want cause of that.

I was also abused (molested repeatedly starting from as far back as I can remember). I also have to some degree developed thoughts that disgust me and are at times overpowering. I respect that you don't like these thoughts (I can imagine what they are and I don't like the ones I have either) and it can be hard to overcome them. Do any of these thoughts ever involve hurting others? I have those from time to time. Is that why you are doing this? Because you don't want to hurt others?

 

[HopefulSleep]

I was also abused (molested repeatedly starting from as far back as I can remember). I also have to some degree developed thoughts that disgust me and are at times overpowering.

I am so sorry for you.

Do any of these thoughts ever involve hurting others?

Exactly, it seems people who got abused often have thoughts like this.
I have thoughts like this since I was 15 and others just call me evil for that including family and therapists.

I have those from time to time.

I have it mostly all the time.

Is that why you are doing this? Because you don't want to hurt others?

Yes it scares me and I am suprised you know that without knowing me.



I will go to bed now and set a timer for 10am and then in that time I will try the swb for real

 

[BloomingStrella]

I've seen you around in a couple of posts, and always enjoyed reading them. I hope you find peace, whatever the outcome may be.

 

[Tatenokai]

I am so sorry for you.

The fact you feel empathy for me shows you aren't a cruel person, regardless of your thoughts.

Exactly, it seems people who got abused often have thoughts like this.
I have thoughts like this since I was 15 and others just call me evil for that including family and therapists.

They don't understand you, because they don't experience it themselves. Such things can only be understood through experience.

I have it mostly all the time.

This breaks my heart into pieces.

Yes it scares me and I am suprised you know that without knowing me.

It scares me too. You aren't alone. You're German, have you read Nietzsche?

 

[HopefulSleep]

I've seen you around in a couple of posts, and always enjoyed reading them. I hope you find peace, whatever the outcome may be.

Thank you.

The fact you feel empathy for me shows you aren't a cruel person, regardless of your thoughts.

I can't feel much empathy.

They don't understand you, because they don't experience it themselves. Such things can only be understood through experience.

Their words still hurt me to that point that it flashes in my mind what they told me which hurt me similar to the abuse itself.

This breaks my heart into pieces.

It will soon be over.

It scares me too

What could I do about it instead of suicide?

have you read Nietzsche?

No.

 

[Tatenokai]

I can't feel much empathy.

I don't feel much either. The thoughts are the cause of that. They're so horrible but you see them so much you become numb to everything else. If you can think all these horrible things all the time, anything less horrifying no longer garners a response. That's what people don't understand, it's not that we are sad, it's that we are numb and completely unable to feel anything anymore, and the numbness is worse than anything, it's like feeling nothing, even pain would be better.

Their words still hurt me to that point that it flashes in my mind what they told me which hurt me similar to the abuse itself.

Have some words from me then. You are not evil, you are a person going through trauma and reliving it in your head and it's causing you to develop thoughts that cause you even more trauma.

What could I do about it instead of suicide?

This is why I asked about Nietzsche. Your strength is your ability to overcome such things, to not give into despair and hopelessness. I can understand why it might seem the best option is to cbt when so much strength and courage is required from you to keep going (I know and I'm crying as I write this because I suffer from this as well). You have shown your strength by the fact you've lived so long like this, I hope you find the strength to continue, I'm rooting for you in every way imaginable.

If the reason you feel there is no exit other than this is because you think no one understands you, then know that I do understand you. I hope that means something, you're not alone.

 

[HighFlight]

@HopefulSleep - I'm am sorry for all the pain you have been through, and that life has brought you to this decision. For me, it is especially sad to see this happen to someone so young. Even though we are strangers, your presence here has obviously impacted many - You will be missed.

I hope that you choose a path that will bring you peace. Know that I am willing to talk/PM if you'd like, and understand if you don't. Regardless, I will shed a tear for you.

 

[sorrowful]

You really think people will remember me?

i do,

I am sorry life treated you so unfairly, and has led you to this point. If it means anything, I don't think you are evil for your thoughts. I know how isolating they can be, though, always feeling indifferent from everyone else. I'm here if you do want to talk about anything. No judgement at all, you're still a person.

 

[HopefulSleep]

I don't feel much either. The thoughts are the cause of that. They're so horrible but you see them so much you become numb to everything else. If you can think all these horrible things all the time, anything less horrifying no longer garners a response. That's what people don't understand, it's not that we are sad, it's that we are numb and completely unable to feel anything anymore, and the numbness is worse than anything, it's like feeling nothing, even pain would be better.

That's correct.

Have some words from me then. You are not evil, you are a person going through trauma and reliving it in your head and it's causing you to develop thoughts that cause you even more trauma.

Thanks.

This is why I asked about Nietzsche. Your strength is your ability to overcome such things, to not give into despair and hopelessness. I can understand why it might seem the best option is to cbt when so much strength and courage is required from you to keep going (I know and I'm crying as I write this because I suffer from this as well). You have shown your strength by the fact you've lived so long like this, I hope you find the strength to continue, I'm rooting for you in every way imaginable.

Wanting to overcome something doesn't make me overcome it.

If the reason you feel there is no exit other than this is because you think no one understands you, then know that I do understand you. I hope that means something, you're not alone.

Sadly I can't pm you.

@HopefulSleep - I'm am sorry for all the pain you have been through, and that life has brought you to this decision. For me, it is especially sad to see this happen to someone so young.

Thanks and I can't see me getting older.

Even though we are strangers, your presence here has obviously impacted many - You will be missed.

My pain is what I won't miss.

I hope that you choose a path that will bring you peace. Know that I am willing to talk/PM if you'd like, and understand if you don't. Regardless, I will shed a tear for you.

Thanks.

i do,

I am sorry life treated you so unfairly, and has led you to this point. If it means anything, I don't think you are evil for your thoughts. I know how isolating they can be, though, always feeling indifferent from everyone else. I'm here if you do want to talk about anything. No judgement at all, you're still a person.

Thank you :)

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry you've dealt with abuse and pain at such a young age.

Godspeed. May you find the peace you deserve.

 

[HopefulSleep]

I'm sorry you've dealt with abuse and pain at such a young age.

Godspeed. May you find the peace you deserve.

Thanks

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that life is so unbearable for you and so many awful things happend to you that lead you to this point. Certainly you will be missed here. I hope you can find the strength you need and I hope you can find peace!

 

[littlelungs]

I am so incredibly sorry that you have suffered so much in life. I was repeatedly abused as well by more than one person from a very young age and the physical and psychological consequences of this have been relentless, so I can only imagine what you must be going through and how much pain you must be in. It never ceases to horrify me what humans are capable of doing to one another.

I'm so sorry that it's come to this for you. If you decide not to go through with it there is absolutely no shame in that, and we are here for you either way. If you do go through with it, then I wish you a peaceful journey and I hope that you are finally able to get the peace you're looking for, whatever that might mean for you.

 

[HopefulSleep]

I am so incredibly sorry that you have suffered so much in life. I was repeatedly abused as well by more than one person from a very young age and the physical and psychological consequences of this have been relentless, so I can only imagine what you must be going through and how much pain you must be in. It never ceases to horrify me what humans are capable of doing to one another.

Thanks and I hate this world.

I'm so sorry that it's come to this for you. If you decide not to go through with it there is absolutely no shame in that, and we are here for you either way. If you do go through with it, then I wish you a peaceful journey and I hope that you are finally able to get the peace you're looking for, whatever that might mean for you.

I will definitely die and hope afterlife is great.