Goodbye Thread <3

[CocoToxBase]

The facepalm emoji was invented for your oh-so compassionate neighbour

She'll probably now call me selfish for trying to kms

 

[rozeske]

She'll probably now call me selfish for trying to kms

Oh am afraid there is a lot more of that yet to come and not just from the neighbour.

I hope you are feeling better, Any change in your stats from yesterday?

 

[bookgirl]

I hope you're doing well

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How r u doing today?

 

[CocoToxBase]

How r u doing today?

Feeling better sats are now 93% on oxygen. Chest is still very sore but that's about it, my headache has gone i'm not feeling cold anymore. I still can't speak thought it's painful and I also sound like i've been at a festival and lost my voice badly

 

[DefinitelyReady]

This is milo's doorbell but he doesn't use it much he just stands there and cries so i'm wondering if he was using the bell to get someone's attention because he knew something was wrong with me if it was then dogs are so smart

Dogs sense death in humans and know when something is not right with their human.

 

[PrisonPlanetBreak]

I checked my security cameras at 7:28 that's when my neighbour was banging at my door and listening through my letter box shouting calling me selfish for being a nuisance and letting my dog bark ahahah and at 7:35 that's when police arrived

I am so sorry for what you've gone through... it really seemed that you had it all down to minute details, and you were well prepared. I can't imagine the cocktail of feelings when you woke up in the hospital, and you realized where you are...

I'm happy to hear that they let you go home and I hope you recover quickly from this, and whatever path you choose to go down next, things go your way :). I have a small question of my own. I am aware that SN supposedly kills you in 40 mins (but it can take as long as a couple of hours or more). The police arrived at 7:35 PM, correct?

I am just appalled by how quickly your dog became erratic... :| I would have understood had it happened in the morning, but it's more than likely that you would have been dead by 7:35 AM.​

 

[Houkki6404]

Feeling better sats are now 93% on oxygen. Chest is still very sore but that's about it, my headache has gone i'm not feeling cold anymore. I still can't speak thought it's painful and I also sound like i've been at a festival and lost my voice badly

Hey op, I'm not the best person to talk about this but reading this thread really made me feel like I needed to say something.
It's really weird to see someone die, it's not like I saw you but seeing your posts and updates made me feel like I was really with you, seeing you go to the stages and die (I guess you actually did since you said that they did cpr on you).

It's an unnerving feeling, I do not know you, the only information I have from you is your posts from now. And yet I feel really connected with you, I felt really sad and a mixture of weird feelings when I thought you were gone forever, and an immense feeling of joy when I read that you were actually rescued. It's weird that even though I'm on this forum cause I'm also suicidal (most of the people in here are), I don't value my own life but yet I value yours, a complete stranger.

I'm genuinely so happy that you are alive and getting better physically. I know I would be frustrated if I ctb'd and got rescued (tried ctb before multiple times but SI always kicked in, preventing me from doing further damage). You're probably not really happy now, or maybe you are 'cause the reality may not have hit you yet. I just wanted to say that if you're not happy that you're alive now, please know that a complete stranger in the other side of the world in jumping of joy of knowing that you are alive.

My opinion may not be important at all, but I just really wanted you to know that I'm glad you are here, I'm truly glad. You must know that the days after a suicide attempt are really *really* bad, I have to be honest with you, they are bad. You might wish to try again to stop the feeling but I beg you not to do it. The feelings will go away, everyone must tell you this all the time but it's true, they will.

If you don't believe me that's fine, I'll believe that for you, I'm trying to believe that for me too lol.

It's important for you to treat these feelings tho, cause the same way they go away, they might come back, it's really probable that they will come back so I also beg you to treat them, to prevent them from coming back.

After this long text, I ask you to relax, it must feel horrible what you're feeling so take your time, let your body rest (it must have been really hard for it) and while your body is resting, you may rest too.
Sleep as long as you want, talk to your family, friends, anyone who's important to you.

If you're not comfortable, please ask for them to not talk about the topic of suicide, because it would be like putting salt in an open wound. Please take care of yourself, I'm cheering for you from the other side of the world.

ps. When you leave the hospital, eat your favorite food, it'll help!!
:D
- An internet stranger

 

[CocoToxBase]

I am so sorry for what you've gone through... it really seemed that you had it all down to minute details, and you were well prepared. I can't imagine the cocktail of feelings when you woke up in the hospital, and you realized where you are...

I'm happy to hear that they let you go home and I hope you recover quickly from this, and whatever path you choose to go down next, things go your way :). I have a small question of my own. I am aware that SN supposedly kills you in 40 mins (but it can take as long as a couple of hours or more). The police arrived at 7:35 PM, correct?

I am just appalled by how quickly your dog became erratic... :| I would have understood had it happened in the morning, but it's more than likely that you would have been dead by 7:35 AM.​

I wasn't dead when paramedics and police got there just unconscious and having seizures. I arrested in the back of the ambulance though where they intubated me on the road side. They left my house at 8:04 and it takes 25 minutes to hospital so anywhere between 8:04 and 8:31 is when my heart stopped if that helps

Hey op, I'm not the best person to talk about this but reading this thread really made me feel like I needed to say something.
It's really weird to see someone die, it's not like I saw you but seeing your posts and updates made me feel like I was really with you, seeing you go to the stages and die (I guess you actually did since you said that they did cpr on you).

It's an unnerving feeling, I do not know you, the only information I have from you is your posts from now. And yet I feel really connected with you, I felt really sad and a mixture of weird feelings when I thought you were gone forever, and an immense feeling of joy when I read that you were actually rescued. It's weird that even though I'm on this forum cause I'm also suicidal (most of the people in here are), I don't value my own life but yet I value yours, a complete stranger.

I'm genuinely so happy that you are alive and getting better physically. I know I would be frustrated if I ctb'd and got rescued (tried ctb before multiple times but SI always kicked in, preventing me from doing further damage). You're probably not really happy now, or maybe you are 'cause the reality may not have hit you yet. I just wanted to say that if you're not happy that you're alive now, please know that a complete stranger in the other side of the world in jumping of joy of knowing that you are alive.

My opinion may not be important at all, but I just really wanted you to know that I'm glad you are here, I'm truly glad. You must know that the days after a suicide attempt are really *really* bad, I have to be honest with you, they are bad. You might wish to try again to stop the feeling but I beg you not to do it. The feelings will go away, everyone must tell you this all the time but it's true, they will.

If you don't believe me that's fine, I'll believe that for you, I'm trying to believe that for me too lol.

It's important for you to treat these feelings tho, cause the same way they go away, they might come back, it's really probable that they will come back so I also beg you to treat them, to prevent them from coming back.

After this long text, I ask you to relax, it must feel horrible what you're feeling so take your time, let your body rest (it must have been really hard for it) and while your body is resting, you may rest too.
Sleep as long as you want, talk to your family, friends, anyone who's important to you.

If you're not comfortable, please ask for them to not talk about the topic of suicide, because it would be like putting salt in an open wound. Please take care of yourself, I'm cheering for you from the other side of the world.

ps. When you leave the hospital, eat your favorite food, it'll help!!
:D
- An internet stranger

Thank you so much More empathetic than the stupid mental health team who are more worried about how i got the substance than why i even took it Im most likely getting sectioned so i won't be eating any of my favourite food anytime soon :(

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

I wasn't dead when paramedics and police got there just unconscious and having seizures. I arrested in the back of the ambulance though where they intubated me on the road side. They left my house at 8:04 and it takes 25 minutes to hospital so anywhere between 8:04 and 8:31 is when my heart stopped if that helps

Thank you so much More empathetic than the stupid mental health team who are more worried about how i got the substance than why i even took it Im most likely getting sectioned so i won't be eating any of my favourite food anytime soon :(

Hoping for a swift recovery May I ask if you took 40mg propranolol or 400mg? And did you mix it with the SN? Do you remember?

 

[heavyeyes]

I just finished reading the entire thread and I'm sorry you were found too early :( It really sounds like your dog did sense something wrong and called for help

I hope you're feeling better op. I wish you a speedy recovery with no lasting damage

 

[rozeske]

I am just appalled by how quickly your dog became erratic... :| I would have understood had it happened in the morning, but it's more than likely that you would have been dead by 7:35 AM.

The thousands of years of domestication of dogs has evolved them to pay close attention and gudge the emotions of their owner and mirror it. One of the mechanism is by listening to their owners heartbeat and syncing it to theirs. It's one of the reasons that makes them act happy when you are and look sad when you don't feel so good. It makes sense that milo became erratic when her owner's heartbeat was that high and was seeking help. She probably wasn't feeling well herself and in distress.

Sorry for going off topic, just a fascinating fact I found. I hope your days are going better and your feeling ok OP and milo too :)

 

[Meteora]

The thousands of years of domestication of dogs has evolved them to pay close attention and gudge the emotions of their owner and mirror it. One of the mechanism is by listening to their owners heartbeat and syncing it to theirs. It's one of the reasons that makes them act happy when you are and look sad when you don't feel so good. It makes sense that milo became erratic when her owner's heartbeat was that high and was seeking help. She probably wasn't feeling well herself and in distress.

Sorry for going off topic, just a fascinating fact I found. I hope your days are going better and your feeling ok OP and milo too :)

I find it very fascinating, too. Animals are better humans.

_______________

@rozeske do you have a doggy?

 

[DepressedDude]

Would you attempt with SN again after this experience?

 

[rozeske]

@rozeske do you have a doggy?

No, no cats or dogs for me, I am terrified of them let alone have them as a pet. But I do believe they can be a better companion than humans.

 

[Meteora]

But I do believe they can be a better companion than humans.

Yeah I guess so, too....

I am terrified of them let alone have them as a pet.

You mean that you isolate them because you "own" them?

 

[rozeske]

You mean that you isolate them because you "own" them?

No, I mean I don't own one because they scare me.

 

[Meteora]

No, I mean I don't own one because they scare me.

oh.... I see. I can understand. I was scared of dogs, too, for a long time. I got bitten as a child.

 

[Neowise]

You are very brave. I admire your strength.
I'm sorry it didn't work out as you wished, but I hope you will see better days, one way or the other.

 

[willitpass]

I hope you're doing okay. I reckon you've been sectioned. I hope your experience isn't too horrible. I'm sorry for how everything has played out for you lately. I wish you peace.

 

[LivideLamb]

I really hope you're doing okay. I wish you luck. And, hopefully your recovery will go well

 

[DavidInternet]

Hi @CocoToxBase; I've been following your thread with interest. Your dog, Milo, seems adorable. I love him already, just from that short video. At times you've used some medical terms I've not understood, but I hope you're okay. Your condition seems serious from the number of needles in your arm, and from the term "pulmonary embolism". I don't know much about it, but I Googled it, and it seems very serious.

God bless.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I wasn't dead when paramedics and police got there just unconscious and having seizures. I arrested in the back of the ambulance though where they intubated me on the road side. They left my house at 8:04 and it takes 25 minutes to hospital so anywhere between 8:04 and 8:31 is when my heart stopped if that helps

Thank you so much More empathetic than the stupid mental health team who are more worried about how i got the substance than why i even took it Im most likely getting sectioned so i won't be eating any of my favourite food anytime soon :(

You sound in good spirits. I don't know whether to say sorry it failed or congratulations...neither seem right. Are you going to try again? or do you think this will be a turning point in your existence?

 

[Dark Window]

Did they get sectioned?

 

[CocoToxBase]

Hoping for a swift recovery May I ask if you took 40mg propranolol or 400mg? And did you mix it with the SN? Do you remember?

40mg

Would you attempt with SN again after this experience?

yes 100%

 

[divinemistress36]

Thank you for sharing your experience hope you are feeling better

 

[CocoToxBase]

I hope you're doing okay. I reckon you've been sectioned. I hope your experience isn't too horrible. I'm sorry for how everything has played out for you lately. I wish you peace.

yes i've been sectioned

Did they get sectioned?

yes

 

[melancholymallory03]

Rest in peace , you are more than your body and more than your mind. I wish you a peaceful journey through wherever you're soul takes you love too you

 

[Goku Black]

yes 100%

Hey Coco, Why is that? was it more manageable than you expected. Also, sucks to hear you've been sectioned, hopefully it isn't too bad there.

 

[CocoToxBase]

Hey Coco, Why is that? was it more manageable than you expected. Also, sucks to hear you've been sectioned, hopefully it isn't too bad there.

it was a lot more peaceful than i expected i honestly didn't even notice i was dying except from mild breathless and fast heart rate anything after that i was unconscious but i'd make sure I would never be found because the after
with of recovery was horrible and painful.

The thousands of years of domestication of dogs has evolved them to pay close attention and gudge the emotions of their owner and mirror it. One of the mechanism is by listening to their owners heartbeat and syncing it to theirs. It's one of the reasons that makes them act happy when you are and look sad when you don't feel so good. It makes sense that milo became erratic when her owner's heartbeat was that high and was seeking help. She probably wasn't feeling well herself and in distress.

Sorry for going off topic, just a fascinating fact I found. I hope your days are going better and your feeling ok OP and milo too :)

Milo came to see me today and he looks sad