Self Harm Thread

[psp3000]

This is going to be the dumbest question but, is there a "tierlist" of SH methods within the community? I want ideas.

I don't know if there's a tier list of methods people just do whatever they want or whatever is accessible to them

But it definitely is competitive (in some online spaces) in how severe someone harms themselves with the whole icing, styrofoam, and beans thing or it could be in how frequent someome harms themselves or how many methods they use

it's not a great environment to be in from my experience which is why I only stay in adult online spaces when it comes to talk about recovery from it

because some people feel as though their way of self harm isn't severe enough to be considered a problem or severe enough to consider that they need help on top of the idea that "people only do it for attention"

 

[cgrtt.brns]

does anyone else get the feeling their wounds are still bleeding/feel blood running down from them even if theyve stopped bleeding? i dont have any dressings to cover them up so im constantly worried im bleeding on my clothes or bed sheets even when im not. i wonder what causes that feeling its weird

 

[just_so_done]

does anyone else get the feeling their wounds are still bleeding/feel blood running down from them even if theyve stopped bleeding? i dont have any dressings to cover them up so im constantly worried im bleeding on my clothes or bed sheets even when im not. i wonder what causes that feeling its weird

maybe its feeling the wounds open slightly but since its been long enough its stopped bleeding but that could cause the sensation? if desperate literally tape kleenex over the wound and/or wear a tank you dont care if you get blood on. but yeah thats my theory, could be totally wrong

 

[zeldalover]

I miss cutting. I used to do it all the time, but once my ocd spiraled into being afraid of blood I stopped, although sometimes when I feel very intensely bad about something I'll resort back to it. I cut from the time I was 10 till when I was 23 (24 now) and I miss it so much. When I was very young I used to choke myself and hit myself and even try to break my own bones, but then that spiraled into cutting when I was older. I miss the rush and the pain that I would feel when it was done, and the marks that it would leave behind. But with my job now I couldn't hide it so easily.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

dae pick at their scabs over and over until they scar up? idky but picking the scabs is just as-if not more satisfying to me than actually cutting. especially if it all comes off in one bit. it also kind of prevents me from cutting more bc one of the main reasons i cut is to see the blood so i just need to pick at an existing wound and i get a bit of pain and some blood, its like a lil refresher almost idk. im only asking this bc im bored and its just on my mind atm bc i just shd and cant wait to see how these ones scab.

 

[Elliana Berriana]

I used to self harm by cutting my thighs, but my parents found out about it, so I had to stop. That was the lowest I've ever felt, when I'd cut myself several times every day without fail. I'm glad I don't do it anymore, but I still get the urge to, especially when I see mentions of self harm. It's really triggering for me, so I probably should avoid it, but I can never avoid my triggers, my morbid curiosity gets the better of me. Whenever I get the urge, it reminds me of how I felt when I did it, and I feel glad that I don't have to deal with it anymore. My scars are fading slowly, and maybe I'll one day have fully healed skin, just looking normal, and it'll be amazing. I hope I'll never self harm again. It's my one regret.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

I used to self harm by cutting my thighs, but my parents found out about it, so I had to stop. That was the lowest I've ever felt, when I'd cut myself several times every day without fail. I'm glad I don't do it anymore, but I still get the urge to, especially when I see mentions of self harm. It's really triggering for me, so I probably should avoid it, but I can never avoid my triggers, my morbid curiosity gets the better of me. Whenever I get the urge, it reminds me of how I felt when I did it, and I feel glad that I don't have to deal with it anymore. My scars are fading slowly, and maybe I'll one day have fully healed skin, just looking normal, and it'll be amazing. I hope I'll never self harm again. It's my one regret.

if it helps you can ignore threads and users so you dont see it mentioned as much. i understand how seeing even just the word can be a trigger, everytime i see it mentioned its like my brain goes "hey remember that? we should do that right now!" it can be frustrating. i wish you all the best in your recovery.

 

[psp3000]

relapsed after 195 days sadly

made me wonder if it's worth it to stop if I will eventually die and decompose anyway and this could be the same question for just about anything you choose to do with your body so I was wondering what everyone else's thoughts would be about that

 

[cgrtt.brns]

relapsed after 195 days sadly

made me wonder if it's worth it to stop if I will eventually die and decompose anyway and this could be the same question for just about anything you choose to do with your body so I was wondering what everyone else's thoughts would be about that

im sorry ur struggling rn <3 i get what u mean, a lot of the time i feel like its not even worth trying to get better if im gonna be dead eventually anyway. idk if u have a set date u wish to leave, or if ur like me and just seeing how things go, but either way if recovering is something you want to do then theres no or at least not much harm in trying. the same could be said the other way, im gonna be dead eventually so i might as well try and recover or get better somehow before then. if its smthn u want for urself, instead of feeling like u have to or need to, why not yano? also ik everyone always says this but recovery does come with ups and downs, relapsing is part of recovering so ur never back to square one, you still have those 195 days that u worked hard for. hope that made sense, sry im not good with words. sending u hugs if u need them <3

 

[girlboything]

ive been into burning with cigarettes lately. it's essentially harm reduction compared to how i used to do it. anyway im a photographer and i like taking photos of it. i'm looking for feedback on the photography not the sh itself. thanks.

Spoiler

Spoiler

(if there's a better place to post this please lmk, im not sure where exactly. thanks)

 

[Soulless Angel]

ive been into burning with cigarettes lately. it's essentially harm reduction compared to how i used to do it. anyway im a photographer and i like taking photos of it. i'm looking for feedback on the photography not the sh itself. thanks.

Spoiler

View attachment 117111

Spoiler

View attachment 117112

(if there's a better place to post this please lmk, im not sure where exactly. thanks)

Photographer here too. Would never have thought to take photos of my sh etc

 

[psp3000]

ive been into burning with cigarettes lately. it's essentially harm reduction compared to how i used to do it. anyway im a photographer and i like taking photos of it. i'm looking for feedback on the photography not the sh itself. thanks.

Spoiler

View attachment 117111

Spoiler

View attachment 117112

(if there's a better place to post this please lmk, im not sure where exactly. thanks)

nice photography I assume that the image is a little saturated due to the grass and it reminds me of a shoegaze album cover very dreamy looking not sure why I guess because of the slight blurriness and softness from the light

 

[enough of this]

relapsed after 195 days sadly

made me wonder if it's worth it to stop if I will eventually die and decompose anyway and this could be the same question for just about anything you choose to do with your body so I was wondering what everyone else's thoughts would be about that

Congratulations on going for 195 days. Many people can't hold out for a DAY.
IMO, yes, it's worth it to stop. Yes, your body will die and decompose one day.
But why not look for and find moments of pleasure in the meantime?
You can do this. I don't even need to know you to have faith in you.

 

[girlboything]

Photographer here too. Would never have thought to take photos of my sh etc

people always assume its for attention but like, idk i think it makes a cool subject?

nice photography I assume that the image is a little saturated due to the grass and it reminds me of a shoegaze album cover very dreamy looking not sure why I guess because of the slight blurriness and softness from the light

i always turn up the vibrance slider. i kinda like the saturated look but like, idk does it make it look fake? or like. bad? i use the portrait setting which i think makes it a little hazy. thanks for the feedback<3

 

[brainwormz]

Started when I was six or so. Used to bang my head against brick walls. Stopped that after a while. Then around 13 I started deconstructing razors and cutting. Around 20 I started using cigarettes and joints. That's my preference these days but I can't smoke in my apartment so cutting it is. Apart from a single shallow cut down my wrist about 3 weeks ago when I was suicidal after an interaction with my ex violet I've been clean for about six months though.

 

[Soulless Angel]

people always assume its for attention but like, idk i think it makes a cool subject?

i always turn up the vibrance slider. i kinda like the saturated look but like, idk does it make it look fake? or like. bad? i use the portrait setting which i think makes it a little hazy. thanks for the feedback<3

I don't see it as attention, it highlights a reality that many refuse to see.

If was to give feedback on the images im personally not a fan of blown out colors and over saturation but then I'm old school and love the film look

 

[cgrtt.brns]

i always turn up the vibrance slider. i kinda like the saturated look but like, idk does it make it look fake? or like. bad? i use the portrait setting which i think makes it a little hazy. thanks for the feedback<3

it doesnt look fake or bad, at least not to me, its just another style of photography and if u like the way it looks thats whats more important bc ur the one taking the pictures so if u dont like them then whats the point? hope that made sense, sorry for my dumb rant lol. i personally do a similar thing when i take pictures of the tissues i use to clean up blood bc it makes the colour of the blood look rly cool and vibrant against the white of the tissue. but when im taking pictures of other things i prefer taking them in black and white or rly underexposed bc i love dark pictures. just fuck around with all the settings and see what u like the look of best!
if i had to give any kind of feedback id personally work on the framing/composition within the picture. if u look up the rule of thirds u should be able to find some stuff about how to do that. like how to position things within a picture to make it look more natural and draw the eye to specific places etc. hope that helps :)

 

[psp3000]

people always assume its for attention but like, idk i think it makes a cool subject?

i always turn up the vibrance slider. i kinda like the saturated look but like, idk does it make it look fake? or like. bad? i use the portrait setting which i think makes it a little hazy. thanks for the feedback<3

I was listening to this song again recently so now I understand why it reminded me of shoegaze for some reason besides the slight saturation/vibrance

one of my favourite bands

 

[psp3000]

how to get used to used to wearing revealing clothes without a fear or worry that someone will see your scars ?

my scars are really old now so I would like to start wearing shorts again especially if I were to go back to one of my old jobs that requires me to do a lot of outdoor work but also just because I miss wearing shorts

 

[Gloomislost]

I see self harm mentioned a lot on this forum, but never one set area for it.

So I wanted to do a thread where people can come and talk freely, seek support, Share images, {but please spoilers first}

Self harm goes unnoticed, but its a path many of us walk. Share your story, support and more here?


This is not a thread to encourage self harm, Before you get to that point, please seek help, or talk here so we can talk you out of it!

I think SH is honestly one of the things that get me through life. It's enough pain for me to focus more on that, rather than actually CTB. It's sorta hard to cover my scars in the summer (they're located on my thighs) but I honestly don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
Recently, I actually had a SH session with someone online and it felt comforting because I wasn't alone.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

how to get used to used to wearing revealing clothes without a fear or worry that someone will see your scars ?

my scars are really old now so I would like to start wearing shorts again especially if I were to go back to one of my old jobs that requires me to do a lot of outdoor work but also just because I miss wearing shorts

ive read some people say to wear revealing clothes while you're alone/in a safe place where you know you wont be judged to get used to that first, then slowly work yourself up to wearing them out in public if that makes sense.
you could also get some thin knee length or full length leggings or tights for extra coverage while you get used to wearing shorts and then just wearing the shorts once youre comfortable?
i always wear long trousers so i dont have personal experience with this specific situation. im more worried about my arms, i struggle wearing short sleeves but when i do i always make sure to have a long sleeve hoodie with me just incase i get too uncomfortable, maybe you could have like an emergency pair of trousers/tights or smthn?
i think it also helps to know most people genuinely dont even notice or are too wrapped up in their own heads to notice or care. and if anyone does notice or stares its most likely never with ill intent, its probably just bc they dont know what it is (that doesnt excuse them from staring tho, its still rly fuckin rude and inappropriate).
also maybe having some kind of reason or excuse ready incase anyone asks might help with any anxiety you may have around people asking, bc at least u dont have to panic about what to tell them or what to say if you dont want to tell them if that makes sense.
hope this helped in some way. i wish you all the best.

 

[psp3000]

also maybe having some kind of reason or excuse ready incase anyone asks might help with any anxiety you may have around people asking, bc at least u dont have to panic about what to tell them or what to say if you dont want to tell them if that makes sense.
hope this helped in some way. i wish you all the best.

thank you :) your response was very helpful

I think I will be fine as long as my relatives never see them I have been doing this for around I guess 3 or 4 years now and they still have no idea

so I am completely fine with them being visible around strangers now that I have thought about it

 

[CypherB]

So I have never done some physical self harm like cutting, stabbing myself. But I had done another form of self harm, my story is long and I wont write it again here because I have written it in another thread but for a person (who is not at fault) I've come to a point of my life which consists in irregular eating: meaning I sometimes skip a meal or dont eat enough, irregula sleeping schedule: i barely sleep more than 4 hours per night and i go to sleep at like 4 am. And also about my head I keep thinking about something that makes me suffer and causes me constant pain but I cant and i refuse to let go and this is the thing that is killing me.

So ive never done self harm in a physical way but some kind of it yes

 

[psp3000]

my story is long and I wont write it again here because I have written it in another thread

do you mind sharing the thread that you posted it in? I wouldn't mind reading your story you don't have to share it unless you want to just curious

 

[Soulless Angel]

how to get used to used to wearing revealing clothes without a fear or worry that someone will see your scars ?

my scars are really old now so I would like to start wearing shorts again especially if I were to go back to one of my old jobs that requires me to do a lot of outdoor work but also just because I miss wearing shorts

It can be hard, I have got to the point though I no longer care who sees my scars, they are part of me and my story, I find it harder with family members, I couldn't work out why at first, as they know first hand the struggles I have been through, then I realised it was because I felt bad for them, but why should I? It's not my fault they let me down and dony care to understand what I have been through and why.

My scars are marked again though as I once again broke my clean streak, so if I go out ill wear longer sleeves (not been out in a week)
At home with my husband I no longer hide the fresh wounds

 

[psp3000]

At home with my husband I no longer hide the fresh wounds

it must be nice (and sometimes hard or complicated I don't want to assume it's all fine and dandy all the time everyone is different) to be able to be vulnerable like that with a partner most people are always afraid about coming out to their partner about self harm or them finding out

I assume it took a while before you both came to that point though

 

[CypherB]

do you mind sharing the thread that you posted it in? I wouldn't mind reading your story you don't have to share it unless you want to just curious

This is the thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/what-did-you-make-consider-ctb.120876/#post-2025505

Its a summary of the story because its longer but i didnt want to make like a book :)

 

[cgrtt.brns]

Spoiler: kind of description of self harm/kind of vent

cut the deepest ive ever gone on my thigh a couple hours ago before realising i had no idea how i was gonna deal with it once i was finished so i just sat on the toilet for like an hour like "fuck what do i do now" while it bled lmao. awful timing for a thigh cut bc im going out for the first time in months this weekend, probably will be walking a lot. i wanted to go much deeper but i hit a couple of arterioles and nicked a vein (first time its ever spurted) so there was too much blood and the lighting was shit so i couldnt see wtf i was doing. i taped some toilet roll over it, it started bleeding again just now, i need to get proper dressings ffs. this last week has felt like months i hate how my perception of time is so fucked.

 

[a flurry of knives]

I've been suicidal and depressed since I was a child, but I only started self harming around 15-16. And by that I mean willingly starving myself in an attempt to punish myself, if that counts. But at the start of this year I felt the strong craving for seeing blood run down my skin, so I bought a box cutter and some blades, and started SHing that way. I felt like my previous starving method wasn't truly SH, as SH is commonly considered cutting. In one way, I no longer have an eating disorder, and cutting myself while giving proper care to the wounds is probably a more healthy way of hurting myself. So, progress?? Idk lmao

I wonder when I'll have the courage to wear short sleeves.

 

[Borderline]

I've been hurting myself for 8 years and I can't stop.