Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[cgrtt.brns]

annoyed, tired, frustrated, i just dont want to be alive anymore. im trying to get my life on track but i just cant. nothing is working. i cant tell if im just not trying hard enough or if i genuinely am just a lost cause. i feel like a lost cause because im just so tired of trying, even if im not trying hard enough, im doing as best as i can, but its not enough. i want it to end so much. but im ashamed and guilty and scared of being seen as a waste of potential. i dont know what to do. im just so tired.

 

[Zegers]

Lost in darkness

 

[Lilythefenfen]

I feel anguished, I feel like I'm running out of time and it both excites me but devastates me. I feel like I wasn't good enough and I feel an extreme guilt and shame running throughout my entire body. I feel sad seeing so many people CTB, but at the same time happy knowing they found peace.

I feel impatient, I want to end it all now. I'm exhausted.

 

[charlotte_]

My exam is coming soon. I thought I've done enough, but turns out it's nothing. There is just so much to deal with. Stress and anxiety fills me, but even so I still don't have a motivation to study.

 

[CTB Dream]

Feel v bad v sad no able buy game

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Suicide Rave

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Tired... Don't want to go to bed yet. Depression. Lonely. Unlovable.

 

[DeadPool360]

Bored
have nothing to do
cant sleep
have an exam in 4 hours that will last for couple of hours

 

[unnormal9]

Anger, rage, slaughter, wanton, death

 

[call me ary]

I am tired. I want a hug

 

[unnormal9]

My anger has settled, self-harmed a bunch to calm it. I still feel hot, but mostly because I'm still in my highs.

 

[ShadowsFall]

Have to be out of this place by Monday. Not looking forward to the period of uncertainty until I find another place. Unfortunately with a potential eviction on my reports topped with poor credit, it is only going to make it more difficult. The past few days have been difficult since I got the notice to vacate. Headaches, sleeplessness, stress eating, impulsive decision making and iratability. I regret moving into this place.

 

[charlotte_]

Once again, I spent a whole day mindlessly scrolling social medias, doing absolutely nothing for my life. I hate that some stupid parts of me still hope for something in this world, despite all it does is continuing doing useless shit all day. I want to just stop all this, but I just never learn. Fuck this shitty brain man

 

[cgrtt.brns]

whats the point in continuing when tomorrow and all foreseeable tomorrows will just be the same if not worse. my mind is sinking back into old habits. i want it to happen, but i know it'll just perpetuate this suffering even further. why am i alive just to relive the same day over and over, the same disappointment, rejection, fear, scrutiny. i cant escape it. im not capable. i miss the comfort of my old habits. but i am disgusted at the thought of them returning just to add more time before my seemingly unreachable end. why is my brain clinging on to anything it can fucking think of. if this is si then my biology has failed, i wish my body could see that death is better than its current reality. why must i be sentient but stuck in a body that refuses to see reason. am i even sentient? what the fuck am i saying? im so confused. why is my body so fucking itchy all the time. im trying to re read what i wrote but none of it makes sense. i need a cigarette.

 

[Lilythefenfen]

I'm tired of people telling me things are ok. I want to sleep. I don't care if there's nothing on the other side, that nothingness would just be a blessing. I hurt for my girlfriends who are already mourning me. They say it's so draining on them, they say I'm hurting them when I get into these deep depressive episodes. They ignore the fact of what happened to me as if anything about that would ever make me feel ok.

I just want to feel ok. I feel that CTB is my only option and I want to feel the sweet sweet embrace of death as not my enemy, but as my friend.

 

[CTB Dream]

rly tired this awfl life loop need enrg money etc all loop v awful

 

[unnormal9]

Hurt

 

[sheleftme1]

I miss her and life without her is meaningless. I wish I didn't have to think about death but I'd just rather die at this point than to be tortured with my thoughts. I fear so much the torture that may come after death

 

[sannoji]

tired. kind of out of it. nothing feels fully real at the moment

 

[SimpleWan]

Guilty but still procrastinating. Pastselve work hard unlike current me who just keep reading novels or games. Reluctant to dwell in this thought as it would just make me feel more guilty. Now I am anxious about why the hail I am on online writing about my problems instead of solving it. Writing that now make me feel selfish as i am just self pitying instead of solving it. Writing that last sentence make me feel more selfish for same reason. But I am sure I will still procrastinate and won't solve any of my problem. I am just most of time hoping my future selve would solve all my current problems.... yup I am lazy and selfish

 

[Housefly]

I don't know what I'm doing every decision I make is the wrong one and when I ask for guidance it also doesn't work out. The problem is me. I'm never going to get it, I want built for this.

 

[Slipkorn]

Where the fuck is the off switch?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So depressed. Getting ready to go to bed. Can't even think of anything to post in the music threads. I hope I don't don't wake up. I'm sure I won't be that lucky.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Woke up a few hours ago can't fall asleep. I'm gonna try again shortly. This sux!!!

 

[sannoji]

exhausted again but can't sleep. my body just hurts

 

[charlotte_]

Really don't get why I won't just die atp. The pain is never gonna stop

 

[CTB Dream]

Rly sad want play Zelda

 

[howl pendragon]

Loneliness. Because I'm far from the only person that really matters. Because I will never be able to be with that person, since they are not in this world.

 

[Lullaby]

I just can't win.

I'm living at home with my mom and it's like walking through a minefield because she's verbally/physically abusive and paranoid.

I've been on a list for housing for the last couple of years and I only move a few spots every 6 months. Last week, I found the email of the head coordinator and wrote her a long message explaining my everything.

She replied back to ask more about my housing situation. I was pretty hopeful that would lead somewhere, but she responded this morning that she can't prioritize me based off of that…

My therapist just left, I keep getting rejected for jobs; I'm just so tired of fighting and getting nowhere. I turn 30 next year and nothing in my life has changed.

 

[Salvation_]

Honestly don't even know why I'm still alive lol.