A friend of mine helped me move out of my house last month, who is now my boyfriend ^^ (yippee guys!!). I just wanted to post this thread to say that. And I got on my feet with a job. Although I don't live at home anymore and I can finally breathe a little better and without my ribs hurting, I've come to the conclusion that there really is no place like your own.
I provided for my family for the best years of my teenage life, and I'm now feeling off centre not doing that anymore. My money is my own and now I'm getting to live freely... but sometimes it just feels wrong, like I don't deserve this. I feel like living with my parents was something I was sentenced to and that I didn't fill it. Like I got off too easy. But regardless it's still a work in progress. I know I'm still young and finally understanding what being a functioning adult means, even being riddled with ptsd and bad depressive episodes. And I realised I still don't have the luxury to take a day off work if I want to get to an even better place than I'm in now.
So I was accepted into college but couldn't go, and I had plans to do an apprenticeship course in bricklaying, I've bricklayed in the past off the books, so that experience will help me. But my goal right now is to secure my own place in the future and not to live with my friends. Although it's nice to be so close to them because I was literally dying from loneliness, I just don't have anywhere that's MINE. And it's daunting. Like this could be ripped from under me any time and I shouldn't be so comfortable...
Anyway!! It's funny how much you'll spill your guts to internet strangers than people in your life. In the past it was just because I didn't wanna be a burden. Anyone else feel that? Let me know pls xxx But yeah, I've been doing better than I was, no more abusive parents but yk what they say about the body keeping count of the trauma. Real sucka I tell ya :( Big boo, rated no stars on rotten tomato btw. Anyway so that's me guys, the update no asked for, to keep people, who don't need to know, in the loop!! Love ya guys, hope everyone's doing well, keep the chins up tough dawgs xx life has a funny way of forcing you to keep going, face book mom moment over and out xx
I provided for my family for the best years of my teenage life, and I'm now feeling off centre not doing that anymore. My money is my own and now I'm getting to live freely... but sometimes it just feels wrong, like I don't deserve this. I feel like living with my parents was something I was sentenced to and that I didn't fill it. Like I got off too easy. But regardless it's still a work in progress. I know I'm still young and finally understanding what being a functioning adult means, even being riddled with ptsd and bad depressive episodes. And I realised I still don't have the luxury to take a day off work if I want to get to an even better place than I'm in now.
So I was accepted into college but couldn't go, and I had plans to do an apprenticeship course in bricklaying, I've bricklayed in the past off the books, so that experience will help me. But my goal right now is to secure my own place in the future and not to live with my friends. Although it's nice to be so close to them because I was literally dying from loneliness, I just don't have anywhere that's MINE. And it's daunting. Like this could be ripped from under me any time and I shouldn't be so comfortable...
Anyway!! It's funny how much you'll spill your guts to internet strangers than people in your life. In the past it was just because I didn't wanna be a burden. Anyone else feel that? Let me know pls xxx But yeah, I've been doing better than I was, no more abusive parents but yk what they say about the body keeping count of the trauma. Real sucka I tell ya :( Big boo, rated no stars on rotten tomato btw. Anyway so that's me guys, the update no asked for, to keep people, who don't need to know, in the loop!! Love ya guys, hope everyone's doing well, keep the chins up tough dawgs xx life has a funny way of forcing you to keep going, face book mom moment over and out xx
