Resource [wip] 'A 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 "Good Bye" Thread' -- SaSu Recovery Threads/Stories

[NZkiwi]

** Work in progress **

-- Change log --

Spoiler: Changelog

27/8/26 v0.1 Initial thread
Shitty formatting
3 months of posts

v0.1.1 Added spoilers

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On a bus back to my small village lol
Hope this helps people not feel alone

Saw some recent posts about people engaging in the journey of recovery
Thought I'd make a list here of people I saw, and tag them too. Maybe they could give us some updates how things went
Maybe one day I'll add my name to this list

Focused on threads that had a clear "I feel better"
Altho I read many others on their journey that were getting better but didn't feel "quite there yet"
Maybe I'll edit this posts to include those too if this gains help

Have a lovely day everyone =)

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Please reply to this thread if I missed any (I know I have) - would be keen to hear the stories of the people who've come before us on this forum

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August 2026

Spoiler: August 2026

I Got Better
@Voidad

I Got Better

Ladies and gentleman... I somehow got better. I suffered from depression for... 15 years now I think and there have been times where I got pretty close to offing myself... But I didn't... and I'm glad I didn't... after all those years, I guess we found the right combination of meds finally. My...

sanctioned-suicide.net

My Fave Quote

"So I wanted to say... suicide? Absolute LAST resort. It actually can get better all of a sudden when you least expect it and when/if it does... you'll be glad you didn't end your life."

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Farewell
@heal

Farewell

I am leaving this message for anyone wanting to check in on my status, and to avoid causing concern if I am absent for an extended period or do not return. I have survived multiple serious attempts at killing myself due to outside intervention and consider myself lucky to have not incurred...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Fave quote

I want to thank all of the people that read my messages and showed me compassion. It gave me some meaning to engage with you and express the care I felt reading your messages as well.

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not suicidal anymore?
@nayomi

not suicidal anymore?

So around ages 14–16, I had depression that caused suicidal thoughts, and then those suicidal thoughts became something separate from the depression itself. My way out of that situation was to create a sense of meaning where the suicidal thoughts (a pain that feels worse than death) wouldn't...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Fave quote

What creates a pain worse than death isn't the pain itself, but the shattering of the (toxic) meaning I try to maintain in my life—where the shattering of that meaning is worse than death to me.

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I don't want to kill myself anymore. what now?
@avstin

I don't want to kill myself anymore. what now?

I feel empty. I'm taking lots of meds now; I'm calm now, calmer than I've been in years. my head's silent. I don't want to die but I'm not living either and so now I have to accept the fact that I will keep on simply existing. I have diagnosed depression, bpd and adhd and now I come to realize...

sanctioned-suicide.net

There isn't a specific line here so gonna quote the whole thing
I guess it shows the uncertainty can continue even when the suicidality ends

I feel empty. I'm taking lots of meds now; I'm calm now, calmer than I've been in years. my head's silent. I don't want to die but I'm not living either and so now I have to accept the fact that I will keep on simply existing. I have diagnosed depression, bpd and adhd and now I come to realize that these disorders were the only thing making me "me". I don't know what now. I didn't plan on getting help and I don't know what to do with it. I didn't plan on making it to the end of college and now I don't know what comes after that. my relationship is finally healthy and happy but I don't really exist outside of it. I spend my days waiting for my partner to come home just so I don't feel alone. I've always wanted everyone to leave me alone and they did and I am happy with it - they only made me angry and miserable, but I do not know how to exist as a person without others defining me. I'm not even seeking advice but maybe someone knows this feeling, it's just so quiet now

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July 2026

Spoiler: July 2026

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Recovery Thoughts
@CannotAnymore

Recovery Thoughts

After 4 years of severe and serious depression and one serious attempt, I can finally say that I beleive I am in recovery. Here is what I have learned or my thoughts I want to share - I will always want to ctb, but those days and few and far between. I have figured out how to reocognize those...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Fave quote

- I will always want to ctb, but those days and few and far between. I have figured out how to reocognize those feelings and navigate them

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Not even suicidal anymore
@hoppybunny

Not even suicidal anymore

I'm honestly not even suicidal at all anymore. If i kill myself now it will be because i lost hope that anyone will hire me. I'll just never be able to move out at this point. Literally tried everything my only options are warehouse or move out rn with the job i hate, be cut off from my family...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Still going through it, things are messy. Consider viewing the full thread

I'm honestly not even suicidal at all anymore. If i kill myself now it will be because i lost hope that anyone will hire me. I'll just never be able to move out at this point. Literally tried everything my only options are warehouse or move out rn with the job i hate, be cut off from my family and live with strangers or continue to suffer at home.

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June 2026

Spoiler: June 2026

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Made It!
@neurotic

Made it!

I made it out and I'm doing very well! It took everything I had! I'm in another state working my dream job! So, I made it! I'm so mad at all the time I lost, but I know it's not my fault. I'm truly beginning at late 24, not too bad I guess! Love you guys, genuinely!

sanctioned-suicide.net

(Short post)

I made it out and I'm doing very well! It took everything I had! I'm in another state working my dream job! So, I made it!

I'm so mad at all the time I lost, but I know it's not my fault. I'm truly beginning at late 24, not too bad I guess! Love you guys, genuinely!

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bye everyone
@telekon

bye everyone

I think the longer I stay on the website the closer I actually get to committing suicide. I don't want to do that but it feels inevitable hence why I'm here in the first place. I noticed over the past few days that I am really wanting to die, and reading the word "Suicide" so many times is...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Fave quote

I wanna just say you are all wonderful people and I wish you all peace. I just posted this but social belonging trumps everything else: https://web.archive.org/web/2017042...05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html ... it's a fact of life. if you can make even 1 true friend who you hang out with often then you will feel a lot less suicidal.

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recovering (slowly) + good bye
@sannoji

fave quote

recovering (slowly) + goodbye

i think this post will be my goodbye, at least for a while, because i’ve been feeling so much better lately. but i didn’t want to leave this site just all of a sudden. i’ve been using it infrequently, but maybe someone might recognise me. i think i imagined that if i were to make a goodbye...

sanctioned-suicide.net

anyway, i'll be sad to leave, but i think it's for the best right now. i really am grateful for this site, and the three (!) years i spent here. in my darkest moments i was able to be unfiltered and it got me through, long enough for me to make it to feeling better. and i think i'll remain with the view that everyone should have the right to die. i just don't feel like it's my path anymore. i really, truly do want to live as long as i can. i don't even remember the last time i felt like that, i feel like miracles have been done.

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I'm no longer depressed and suicidal for real this time
@Hadnafoflife

short post

Don't ask me to elaborate, Life got better and I am now happy

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***** MISC ******

Spoiler: June 2026

"I want to live"

I want to live

I came to this sight in despair. Feeling alone and broken from a previous relationship, I had lost my motivation for college, eating, living... I came here looking for someone who could understand to talk through this darkness with. I came here looking for someone to nod knowing and led me into...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Fave quote

I want to live.

I want to live so fucking badly.

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5 years clean since my last attempt
@sireb_b

5 years clean since my last attempt

Life is still pretty much a bitch and I keep struggling a lot, but at least this is one of the few things that I can say I'm proud of, so I kinda wanted to share this recent milestone. Even if it's still not the best yet, it got better and it can get better. Wishing good luck to everybody who's...

sanctioned-suicide.net

short post

Life is still pretty much a bitch and I keep struggling a lot, but at least this is one of the few things that I can say I'm proud of, so I kinda wanted to share this recent milestone.

Even if it's still not the best yet, it got better and it can get better. Wishing good luck to everybody who's trying to recover just like me, y'all are tough

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********* Recovery Journals ********

Spoiler: Recovery Journals

Recovery Journal
@Cloud Busting

My recovery journal

As many of you know, I was once pinkribbonscars. My story is a sad one. As you would expect from someone here. And I was tired. Tired of existing and not being able to live. I tried to hold on and everything kept getting worse. I couldn’t function at all. I was ashamed. I was angry at the...

sanctioned-suicide.net

*****
bushman's recovery diary
@bloodybushman

bushman's recovery diary

7-27-26 / entry 1 hi. i want to do at least one thing every day that progresses my ultimate goal of getting my life together. i think i finally want to live instead of just survive. no zero days anymore. i'm going to document that here. i find typing easier than writing. in addition, the act...

sanctioned-suicide.net

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Recovery Journal — Giving Life One Last Chance & Giving It All I Got
@red_cardinal

ð»Recovery Journal â Giving Life One Last Chance & Giving It All I Got

ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð»ð» This thread will serve as a journal, illustrating my joys and struggle as I give recovery one last chance. This time, I'll give the best of my best, and won't let myself discouraged so easily. I've had countless recovery attempts, some more serious than...

sanctioned-suicide.net

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"I wish I w̶a̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴" - Recovery Journal (feel free to reply, hug react etc)
This is mine =)

"I wish I w̶a̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ ð¸ð¢ð´ð¯'ðµ ððªð¬ð¦ ðµð©ðªð´" - Recovery Journal (feel free to reply, hug react etc)

Recovery journal I guess putting thoughts into a safe space I have had 2 attempts in the last week. The one last night I cannot even fully remeber. This is NZkiwis recovery Journal *** i know how to kill myself. i know i could do i know how to recover? and can i action it /// I guess I...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Cloud Busting]

What a great way to organize all of this, you are awesome!

Sticky this powers that be

 

[telekon]

Thanks for including me:) I haven't been on SaSu in a long time and am mostly just a lurker now that I am not feeling bad anymore. I hope more people can recover from suicidal thoughts.