Who else will be gone as a virgin?

[EndlessDream]

I've only fucked dudes. I wanna be a girl but never happened. My mood lately is making the chance of doing anything with anyone low.

 

[whatevs]

I'm trying to say what people care about more varys from woman to woman and man to man. I can understand the chronically ill thing, I had a blood condition when I was younger which stunted my development even after it was cured because due to the nature of it I had to spend my developmental years sitting around, which hindered me socially and physically (even now). I also have chronic pain in one of my joints which makes it hard for me to work, write, get dressed, etc. and even now it causes a lot of people to be dismissive of me. Either that or they get annoyed when I have to sit out of certain movements when we workout, or need help carrying a heavy item due to my pain.

I also say these ideas are a cope because a lot of people use them as an excuse to rot away for the rest of their lives. I think that with the way our society is set up, woman can marry into a status in a way that men cannot. This is why I believe that some women decide to go after established men more than men go after established women. But I wouldn't say this is the majority of women, for me I care about looks (in the sense that they take care of themselves in the way that I take care of myself, not necessarily in inherited attractiveness), personality, and then status. However, I guess it depends on whether you categorize fitness as a personality or looks thing. It depends on a woman's motivations in life. For me, status comes last because I have a lot of career goals, so that is taken care of since I do not want to have children. But for my friends who want to be homemakers and have big families, it's important that they have somebody who can take care of them. Furthermore, my best friend cares about personality above all else because it fits with her motivations and desires.

This famous person status argument can be turned around as well to say that guys care about looks more than personality as seen by how onlyfans girls and female strippers can have a lot of success. E-girls too. Physical attraction is important just like status is, but I think its wrong to generalize and say most men care about looks the most, or only about looks, in the same way it is wrong to make the generalization that most women care most about status, or only about status. There is no correct generalization, it depends on the individual.

Generalizations are correct for the general population and wrong for the individuals. If one is to maximize his success with women in general then he would be wise to cater to an abstraction based on averages and multiple experiences, not instances. Even though your mental health is always essential in a relationship if you look horrible most women won't give your personality a chance, or if you have a wage cuck position and you have plain looks your psyche isn't going to have that chance often also.

I hear you in that there's looks and looks, you differentiate between genetic beauty and how one takes care or grooms his appearance and dresses, it's true that those are markers of some degree of mental health, so it's one area where your personality and your looks blend.

There's a guy in my workplace that is ugly and short but to top it off he doesn't eat well or exercise, so he is chubby. If he exercised and took care of his hair that would signal that his mental health has improved.

 

[GasMonkey]

16? Really? That's super low, aren't those laws usually just for people around that age range anyway? Not old creeps?

16 is 100% legal in my country, as legal as 18 for the subject matter. In fact, I had a 28yo roommate that fucked a 16yo girl in our apartment and nothing happened to him (legally speaking), everything was consensual obviously. The girl had huge boobs, huge ass and was 5'10" tall, no doubt she was fully developed lol.

 

[Anonymus]

Regardless of whether I do CTB or not, I will definitely die a virgin because I don't enjoy physical contact with other people at all. And little else I can add.

* I will be 45 years old in March

//

Independentment de que faci el CTB o no, sens dubte moriré verge perquè no gaudeixo pas gens el contacte físic amb d'altres persones. I poc més puc afegir.

* Faré 45 anys el Març

 

[missingpeace]

I'm glad I didn't stick to the mumbo jumbo of the religion I was born into, I happily explored this to my heart's content. But it has been some years since i let anyone touch me.. now with my mental illness manifesting in the last two years, I doubt I will ever experience those things again.

 

[Ashu]

Yes, when I was around 16 I suffered a medical malpractice "there", my life has been ruined ever since, Im now 26M and I just cant anymore,
once I get the SN and some AE, Im out.

Botched circumcision? I am deeply sympathetic.

 

[ScottPilgram]

LOL me and I give no shits about it. Humans are too trashy to let anyone get that close to me

lmfao someone sew this onto a pillow pls and thank u

 

[lukas19]

if you don't like the word kids, then highschoolers. you shouldn't be around them, pal. they're still undeveloped in so many ways, and a 38 year old man talking about their sexual characteristics is gross.

Can't remember him talking being round Teenagers. I thought this was the place to vent about your inadequacies. I think your judgement is disgusting. Being middle age and still a virgin must have been torture. Must have feel like his life is pointless, worthless, rejection, If you came here to kick someone when they are down, i think you nead to have a good look at yourself.

 

[CTB Fella]

Me 22F

Certainly not me.

If you were a fella, I'd suggest getting a prostitute (I've had a few myself.)

I wouldn't know how to advise a young lady?

 

[lukas19]

Nah, for me it's not only sex, the thing is much more deep than that... the affection, being loved, cared, etc.

Yes 'intimacy'. When all you can see around you is people who have that connection. Every ad', TV show, social media etc rubs it in your face.

16 is 100% legal in my country, as legal as 18 for the subject matter. In fact, I had a 28yo roommate that fucked a 16yo girl in our apartment and nothing happened to him (legally speaking), everything was consensual obviously. The girl had huge boobs, huge ass and was 5'10" tall, no doubt she was fully developed lol.

In Europe the age of consent is 14-16

 

[Ashu]

you don't need to get laid to grow up & be a normal person.

"A normal person"... Have you noticed where we are?

 

[mushroomhive]

Me, 38M.

It's the reason why I'm gonna CTB, there is no reason for me to be alive if I don't have access to sex and affection from young beautiful girls. The frustration I feel everytime I see one in the street is ineffable.

Only death can free me from this curse.

Personality is cope, you only need to be good looking to get girls.
No amount of personality will make you attractive to girls if you are not physically attractive.

that's really creepy man. even if it's within legal range a 38 year old man getting mad when he sees cute young adult women is creepy. also aiming for 16/17 year olds is fucking weird even if legal. it's legal in my country too but heavily publically scrutinised for good reason. also personality is not cope, it's one of the most important things. looks are a nice plus, but any mature woman worth your time can look past it. you've got a serious "nice guy" mindset, THATS why you're a virgin. not because you're ugly or middle aged,

 

[tary]

Me. I have always had a hermit personality and fear of rejection, so I've never even asked anyone out in my life. I'm planning to CTB this year, so it's a bit late to start learning to be social. I'm bi, so I guess I could maybe find someone on Grindr or something for casual sex, but I'm not sure I even want that. I'd prefer to be in a relationship.

 

[Ashu]

It doesn't really matter, because when your circumsition gives you 5mm of inner foreskin left unlike normal "high cut" circumsitions you barely feel anything down there. I'll never know what it feels like. And SSRI took away my already weak orgasms. Any sexual pleasure I feel is mental and periodical, not steady. I used to think people were simply exaggerating about masturbation and sex. Turns out it's genuinely supposed to feel good. For me it's just releaving. Like food without taste, so you just have texture and the idea of satisfying your hunger. Also I doubt I'd deel anything without a condom and I have to Concentrate super hard mentally to feel anything if I just ignore it and let myself be touched it's like touching my arm. Any moan I make is purely from anticipation and relief but it always feels unsatisfying like something is missing and then my body just demands more. It sucks because my body seems to get aroused by anything slightly intimate very quickly yet I have no way to really satisfy it and also it triggers the shit out of my pure ocd.

I know a lot about this, man, I'm totally sympathetic. I too am a severe lifelong obsessive. I discovered the online anti-circmcision discourse in two thousand, and it sent me into a tailspin for years, and in fact I'll never really recover. And I say recover, because it's important to note that I never had a problem with my cock before I saw the hidden picture you can never unsee again. Don't misunderstand me, circumcision is a horrible and stupid thing that destroys many men who have had the misfortune to suffer a botched one. But believe me, non-obsessional men with exactly the same circumcisions and exactly the same amount of remaining erogenous tissue as us, are very happy with their cocks, despite the real losses that only trouble men of our personality type. I'm just saying this because it helps to keep the very large subjective component of our condition in mind.

 

[GasMonkey]

Scientific studies have shown that Looks are the more important thing by a very long shot, much more than personality (to the point that the personality perception is shaped by the looks perception), so I think I'm gonna believe the scientists instead of you guys . Not like it makes any difference for me anyway, I'm shit in both looks and personality LOL.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Me. I have always had a hermit personality and fear of rejection, so I've never even asked anyone out in my life. I'm planning to CTB this year, so it's a bit late to start learning to be social. I'm bi, so I guess I could maybe find someone on Grindr or something for casual sex, but I'm not sure I even want that. I'd prefer to be in a relationship.

You could definitely easily find someone on Grindr if you want to experience the physical part of it.

 

[tary]

You could definitely easily find someone on Grindr if you want to experience the physical part of it.

Maybe I will.
I'm on estrogen therapy and have breasts, though. I should probably mention that in my profile to let anyone who's not into that know

 

[HopelessSoul]

Botched circumcision? I am deeply sympathetic.

I have skin atrophy on most of my foreskin due to a steroid cream, there is no cure for it, I tried treating it but its just not going to look the same as when it was healthy, I couldnt even
look at it myself so I was scared any woman would reject me thinking I had some disease, just looking at pictures of other men knowing that I had that and never will again just breaks me

 

[SuicidalSheep]

I was going to discuss the actual topic more, but that one dude's creepiness kinda stopped me, it threw me off.

 

[cassxtho]

Generalizations are correct for the general population and wrong for the individuals. If one is to maximize his success with women in general then he would be wise to cater to an abstraction based on averages and multiple experiences, not instances. Even though your mental health is always essential in a relationship if you look horrible most women won't give your personality a chance, or if you have a wage cuck position and you have plain looks your psyche isn't going to have that chance often also.

I hear you in that there's looks and looks, you differentiate between genetic beauty and how one takes care or grooms his appearance and dresses, it's true that those are markers of some degree of mental health, so it's one area where your personality and your looks blend.

There's a guy in my workplace that is ugly and short but to top it off he doesn't eat well or exercise, so he is chubby. If he exercised and took care of his hair that would signal that his mental health has improved.

I kind of get what you're trying to say. I never really thought of it as "correct for the population wrong for individuals." I also think proper grooming shows more than mental health, I'd rather date a muscular short guy than a Tom Holland or millennial-looking guy. It's kind of hard to explain, but I think our difference of opinion probably comes from our gender difference lmao. I actually think I gained some perspective even if I still disagree a little bit, I always appreciate conversations like this. Ty!

 

[BroodingBleu]

Aside from being the victim of SA twice in my lifetime, I haven't had any real romantic sexual encounters outside of stuff that really wouldn't count in most people's eyes anyways.

23MtF.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

Yes, because of my use of language, communication skills and lack of social awareness being absolutely dreadful. This obviously has caused me to become extremely introverted and insecure since shit like that sticks out and is abused to further other people's esteem and social interests.

 

[Rocinante]

Probably. My face isn't attractive enough, it's the reason I'm depressed.
Maybe with surgery that won't be the case

i had two chances but passed them up because I didn't find the woman good looking, and the other one was too young 17 vs me 21(at the time). It's over for me now though.
I gave up and decided to LDAR till I die.

 

[littlelady774]

For those who are depressed that they might die as virgins, see this thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-regret-losing-my-virginity.109795

It's way better to die a virgin than to lose it to the wrong person. Sex is overrated anyway.

 

[Nikalas]

Me, but you are probably lying seeing you are a female

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Me. 24M. I feel like I had some chances back in high school and college but those days are behind me now. I don't know how adults are supposed to find each other. The only time I go out is for the gym and that's the absolute worst place to talk to somebody. Plus I'm way too insecure and cowardly to capitalize on any opportunity.

Even if I were handsome, no woman would want to date a depressed man who doesn't work a good job and is still living with his parents. Just not gonna happen. Women don't ever date down they date up. It's part of their programming to seek someone who can provide for them financially.

For those who are depressed that they might die as virgins, see this thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-regret-losing-my-virginity.109795

It's way better to die a virgin than to lose it to the wrong person. Sex is overrated anyway.

Yeah I'm sorry but you're preaching to the wrong crowd. You as a female who's lost their virginity (presumably) don't have any idea what it's like for a man struggling to lose theirs.

 

[lukas19]

Probably. My face isn't attractive enough, it's the reason I'm depressed.
Maybe with surgery that won't be the case

i had two chances but passed them up because I didn't find the woman good looking, and the other one was too young 17 vs me 21(at the time). It's over for me now though.
I gave up and decided to LDAR till I die.

LDAR? I did look it online but i only found ''Leak Detection And Repair'' and i don't think you meant that.

 

[Rocinante]

LDAR? I did look it online but i only found ''Leak Detection And Repair'' and i don't think you meant that.

Lay down and rot

 

[SuicidalSheep]

R

For those who are depressed that they might die as virgins, see this thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-regret-losing-my-virginity.109795

It's way better to die a virgin than to lose it to the wrong person. Sex is overrated anyway.

I know you're meaning well, it's true sex doesnt matter as much as we think and can actually go wrong in ways that you're better not having had than just being abvirgin.
I Haven't looked at the thread and it's bad what happened to people who regret it, but I feel like the perspectives here are very different and that it can feel a bit dismissive. Like telling someone without a job that your job was horrible, which may be true, but that person is at an entirely different step.

I don't think it's really about sex itself it's about what it means. It seems like plenty don't just lament not having had sex but any genuine kind of romantic intimacy or mutual attraction whatsoever. I think a lot of the grief that surrounds dying a virgin is a combination never having had genuine intimacy with someone, and feeling inadequate/like there's something wrong in some way because so many people don't want you/reject you or you struggle to put yourself out there, and the way soceity sees and treats virgins. Even in nature it would basically be failure of their programming and an urge that remains unsatisfied, It probably has some natural emotional component to it as well as a societal one.

Because girls generally have more to risk (pregnancy, physical harm from men, etc) and guys tend to find more girls atrractive and have higher drives (just look at gay scenes) and that they tend to be in the selecting/receptive role by default, girls can be (..And honestly should be given the dangers) pickier I'd say this is more an issue for average guys than average girls, though I'd say unattractive girls would have more trouble because unlike guys there's not a lot they can make up for it (Guys aren't valued for their looks as much, and there's still finances and status and the like). There would be more guys willing to have sex with thesw girls but not actually because they're genuinely into her physically nor romantically. Still I've come across girls who have the issue.

A lot of girls are overly sexualized within soceity and harrased and struggle to really be valued for their other qualities and may struggle to stay in healthy relationships where they're genuinely wanted.

Plenty of of guys on the other hand struggle to genuinely be desired sexually and there is also a culture that discourages compliments to guys (guys don't get to complement other guys much, and girls don't want to send the wrong signal in case they run into the wrong kimda guy).
It also seems like higher testosterone ratios turns sex drives more from something that helps to something that's kinda like thirst or hunger that just doesn't kill you if you don't do it (not that women can't be very horny..). I've noticed it from accounts of people got hrt after their body got used to the change. At first their sexuality would kinda mess up and then as it leveled out again, a lot of trans women reported less "urgent" and "proactive" sex drives so to speak and a lot of trans men sex drives that were more so. There's menopausal women too, whose eatrogen drops (so testosterone would be relatively higher) and may report getting hornier. Or what about the influence on homones birth control has? Some report different sex drives right. But ofcourse everyone is still different.

And eehm, as for the topic I wanted to reply to earlier..

Yes, beauty is subjective and individual. The problem is when it comes to group levels. Soceity also shapes what opinions we tend to emphasize and deemphasize or what we give a proper chance and how we see things. You can't predict what anyone individual will do, but groups always have trends and kind of become their own entity, even if those people aren't conciously putting themselves together at all.

Ask the average gay man from a particular culture what they find attractive and it will be different from what straight women tend to find attractive in a man, and will differ per culture. But there's a lot of things that are super common in what Hunan beings find appealing and some people will objectively be less desirable to humans as a group than others, even if some individials may find them very desirable, and while people tend to have certain preferences, they tend to then prefer the people in the top of their preferences (so the best looking feminine man for people who like feminine men, would not appeal to women into masculine men). The details tend to differ too, and sometimes there's non look factors. I often see people agree on who are generally attractive, but their favorites or who they find tolerable differs. Add to the mix that people can fall in love because they like the person and will then see them as physically atrractive, and there's more variation.

For example, faces that are more "average" in their features and symmetrical faces without deformities generally give better reactions even in non sexual contexts (the halo effect), or what about tallness in men.

I think It's similar to how I as a fan of extreme music love dissonant chords and sometimes can find genuine beauty, not just enjoyable discomfort in them, while most people would agree consonant chords where the intervals are similar are what sounds most pleasing to the ear, even if people have very different opinions on what songs sound the prettiest, though, not everyone may even care all that much about prettiness, I care more about emotional expression for example. Meanwhile, this doesn't exist on an objective level at all. Yes they have objectively different qualities, but whether we find it pretty or not depends on human brains, which mostly have general high level similarities and specific differences.

This thing extends to personality too, not only can people project stuff onto you or can your treatment effect how you see yourself, some personality traits are seen as more attractive, especially in relation to gendered social roles. Like if you're confident and assertive as a man and can provide and protect. A soft side as a man can be very attractive and people have different preferences, but have it too much and it may not be to non niche groups. Certain personality types will do better both because of circumstantial advantages and just because they are on average found more attractive, not because they are better and more moral human beings.

Just like some are born more intelligent than others or have a different maximum capacity with different amounts of effort, the same goes for attractiveness relative to a particular human society as a group. That doesn't mean everyone is doomed to find a good partner, there are plenty of unconventionally attractive people in happy relationships and there's much more to it than looks, it just means some are going to have a harder time than others.

i dunno that's just my cents on the issue.

 

[Mr Myemna]

we don't get the chance to spend any individual time with the opposite sex here in fundamentalist Islamic countries, you need to be married to do that

don't really wanna deal with that bag of shit to be frank. Besides, it would be a dick move to get someone engaged in a marital relationship and then proceed to CTB, but people differ won't make generalisations here.