This is a default response I see a lot of people, especially women for god knows why. It's this relativism that only really makes sense if the distribution wasn't so uneven. Yes it is personal, relative and subjective but that doesn't tell us the full story. There are clearly big trends in what is and isn't much more successful, and trends in what is and isn't a dealbreaker. If it was truly individual, it would wildly differ on a somewhat even degree.
The person below has a point in that statistics show us time and time again which things matter a lot in your success. That you can get lucky or work around them, that people settle, that people age and shift priorities, or that at the end of the day things beyond the surface hold relationships doesn't negate the fact that people downplay their importance a lot because they don't like reality nor understand how much certain things are influenced by their subconciousness. Most of attractiveness is subconciosness. We may end up falsely attributing certain conscious things that were actually just our subconciousness at work, like how the halo effect or confirmation bias works.
Also even if the focus someone has is different doesn't mean something else can't be fundamental. When you look for a house you may not be picking a house based on whether it has a good toilet but you'll likely skip over any house that doesn't have a toilet at all because there's many that do and have everything else as well. In this case it becomes a prerequisite but not the main attraction.
There may also be some houses that seem really good, but actually are worse than ones that don't immediately impress. Still, if it immediately impresses, that gives an incentive to check out the rest of the house, which the one that didn't impress might never get to, because there's already a ton of shinier houses catching your attention. Job interviews and first impressions seem to work similarly ones a ton of applications are lined up.
I'm not saying you're doomed if you're not the cream of the crop. I'm mot saying people can't become more physically attractive after getting to know them (though I do believe the starting point can't be extremely low). I've seen so many different kinds of people in relationships they are satisfied with. I'm not saying they'd be much happier with people who look perfect. But some can choose a lot more easily than others, and if people could literally choose their ideal partner I think things would be different. It's like getting chosen first vs last during gym class.
I mean, we grow up in a society that creates standards. Some people are going to question these standards and some are not.
I am saying that we cannot generalize. There are women who care about status, looks and personality in this order. There are women who don't.
I am telling you this as a woman. And also based on women I know.
For example, there are some men that I think are handsome, but they do not attract me (Henry Cavill, for example). There are some men I don't find handsome, but attract me a lot (Post Malone, for example).
It's all too relative.
The point is: what I find attractive, may not be attractive for other women.
Status, for example, is something that doesn't matter to me. I don't care if the man has a car, if he has money, if he pays my bills. I care if he has ambition in the sense of not being "someone important", but in the sense that we are going to build a life together and the two parts gotta contribute.
Of course I am not saying that most women think like I do, because I guess most people don't think about society standards and stuff like that. They simply reproduce what they learned.
I am saying there are women out there (lots of them) who look for more than status and looks in men.
Sorry for any english mistakes!
For example, if you're famous women throw themselves at you, especially younger ones. This is well known and has happened even with serial killers. A good example of status being first.
When it comes to artists, I think they "throw themselves" at them because they are fans, first of all. For example, I would totally date Eddie Vedder, but not because he is famous and has status, but because I admire his art and I think he must be an awesome person (which is obviously naive because I have no idea of who he is in real life). But it's a fan thing.
The serial killer part I wouldn't say it's because of status, but because of curiosity. There are some women who are really attracted to mysterious guys and dark stuff.
. Plus- if by some miracle- I had gotten with any of the guys I had fancied- it definitely would have ended in (my) tears and heartbreak. I think I dodged a few bullets to be honest.
