For those who are depressed that they might die as virgins, see this thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-regret-losing-my-virginity.109795
It’s way better to die a virgin than to lose it to the wrong person. Sex is overrated anyway.
I know you're meaning well, it's true sex doesnt matter as much as we think and can actually go wrong in ways that you're better not having had than just being abvirgin.
I Haven't looked at the thread and it's bad what happened to people who regret it, but I feel like the perspectives here are very different and that it can feel a bit dismissive. Like telling someone without a job that your job was horrible, which may be true, but that person is at an entirely different step.
I don't think it's really about sex itself it's about what it means. It seems like plenty don't just lament not having had sex but any genuine kind of romantic intimacy or mutual attraction whatsoever. I think a lot of the grief that surrounds dying a virgin is a combination never having had genuine intimacy with someone, and feeling inadequate/like there's something wrong in some way because so many people don't want you/reject you or you struggle to put yourself out there, and the way soceity sees and treats virgins. Even in nature it would basically be failure of their programming and an urge that remains unsatisfied, It probably has some natural emotional component to it as well as a societal one.
Because girls generally have more to risk (pregnancy, physical harm from men, etc) and guys tend to find more girls atrractive and have higher drives (just look at gay scenes) and that they tend to be in the selecting/receptive role by default, girls can be (..And honestly should be given the dangers) pickier I'd say this is more an issue for average guys than average girls, though I'd say unattractive girls would have more trouble because unlike guys there's not a lot they can make up for it (Guys aren't valued for their looks as much, and there's still finances and status and the like). There would be more guys willing to have sex with thesw girls but not actually because they're genuinely into her physically nor romantically. Still I've come across girls who have the issue.
A lot of girls are overly sexualized within soceity and harrased and struggle to really be valued for their other qualities and may struggle to stay in healthy relationships where they're genuinely wanted.
Plenty of of guys on the other hand struggle to genuinely be desired sexually and there is also a culture that discourages compliments to guys (guys don't get to complement other guys much, and girls don't want to send the wrong signal in case they run into the wrong kimda guy).
It also seems like higher testosterone ratios turns sex drives more from something that helps to something that's kinda like thirst or hunger that just doesn't kill you if you don't do it (not that women can't be very horny..). I've noticed it from accounts of people got hrt after their body got used to the change. At first their sexuality would kinda mess up and then as it leveled out again, a lot of trans women reported less "urgent" and "proactive" sex drives so to speak and a lot of trans men sex drives that were more so. There's menopausal women too, whose eatrogen drops (so testosterone would be relatively higher) and may report getting hornier. Or what about the influence on homones birth control has? Some report different sex drives right. But ofcourse everyone is still different.
And eehm, as for the topic I wanted to reply to earlier..
Yes, beauty is subjective and individual. The problem is when it comes to group levels. Soceity also shapes what opinions we tend to emphasize and deemphasize or what we give a proper chance and how we see things. You can't predict what anyone individual will do, but groups always have trends and kind of become their own entity, even if those people aren't conciously putting themselves together at all.
Ask the average gay man from a particular culture what they find attractive and it will be different from what straight women tend to find attractive in a man, and will differ per culture. But there's a lot of things that are super common in what Hunan beings find appealing and some people will objectively be less desirable to humans as a group than others, even if some individials may find them very desirable, and while people tend to have certain preferences, they tend to then prefer the people in the top of their preferences (so the best looking feminine man for people who like feminine men, would not appeal to women into masculine men). The details tend to differ too, and sometimes there's non look factors. I often see people agree on who are generally attractive, but their favorites or who they find tolerable differs. Add to the mix that people can fall in love because they like the person and will then see them as physically atrractive, and there's more variation.
For example, faces that are more "average" in their features and symmetrical faces without deformities generally give better reactions even in non sexual contexts (the halo effect), or what about tallness in men.
I think It's similar to how I as a fan of extreme music love dissonant chords and sometimes can find genuine beauty, not just enjoyable discomfort in them, while most people would agree consonant chords where the intervals are similar are what sounds most pleasing to the ear, even if people have very different opinions on what songs sound the prettiest, though, not everyone may even care all that much about prettiness, I care more about emotional expression for example. Meanwhile, this doesn't exist on an objective level at all. Yes they have objectively different qualities, but whether we find it pretty or not depends on human brains, which mostly have general high level similarities and specific differences.
This thing extends to personality too, not only can people project stuff onto you or can your treatment effect how you see yourself, some personality traits are seen as more attractive, especially in relation to gendered social roles. Like if you're confident and assertive as a man and can provide and protect. A soft side as a man can be very attractive and people have different preferences, but have it too much and it may not be to non niche groups. Certain personality types will do better both because of circumstantial advantages and just because they are on average found more attractive, not because they are better and more moral human beings.
Just like some are born more intelligent than others or have a different maximum capacity with different amounts of effort, the same goes for attractiveness relative to a particular human society as a group. That doesn't mean everyone is doomed to find a good partner, there are plenty of unconventionally attractive people in happy relationships and there's much more to it than looks, it just means some are going to have a harder time than others.
i dunno that's just my cents on the issue.