Brain damage from psych meds. I need friends pls

[goodnewz]

Hi 22f Im not gonna go too into detail but I have a chemical brain injury from psych meds and god I just need friends right now. I have almost complete retrograde amnesia, severe anhedonia, cant read/understand speech, head pressure, neuropathy etc and have been declining for three years and am in so much pain, I just wait to go to sleep, its been over three years and ive only declined, am working with a doctor but have not had symptom relief and I just want to speak to someone else with a severe brain injury because im so ready to die.

Im thinking of saving up and applying for assisted dying in switzerland because I think im too scared to ever end my own life out of fear of it not working.

if ANY of u have a brain injury or psych drug injury and are suffering extremely pls talk to me i need a friend so bad

 

[JoeFailure]

Hi Im not gonna go too into detail but I have a chemical brain injury from psych meds and god I just need friends right now. I have almost complete retrograde amnesia, severe anhedonia, cant read/understand speech, head pressure, neuropathy etc and have been declining for three years and am in so much pain, I just wait to go to sleep, its been over three years and ive only declined, am working with a doctor but have not had symptom relief and I just want to speak to someone else with a severe brain injury because im so ready to die.

Im thinking of saving up and applying for assisted dying in switzerland because I think im too scared to ever end my own life out of fear of it not working.

Pls if u relate to any of these issues id love a friend

Happy to talk to you if you need someone. You can PM me if you want.

 

[goodnewz]

Happy to talk to you if you need someone. You can PM me if you want.

I just sent u a message im not sure if it sent?
@Hollowman i sent u a message too idek if it sent

 

[Off_Switch]

So sorry to hear this. Was your medication high dosage?

 

[goodnewz]

So sorry to hear this. Was your medication high dosage?

Was on a bunch in a short period, had an adverse reaction to zoloft x mirtazipine that i think caused some mild serotonin syndrome and all these issues developed after that and have slowly worsened. Its been three years and my body is stuck in this state, have had some markers that prove inflammation in my brain so i think its a combination of neuroinflammation x chemical injury, but my quality of life is nonexistent at this point.

 

[JoeFailure]

I just sent u a message im not sure if it sent?
@Hollowman i sent u a message too idek if it sent

I just sent u a message im not sure if it sent?
@Hollowman i sent u a message too idek if it sent

I don't see it but I sent you a private message, see if you can see it in your mailbox

 

[blueskies93]

I don't think I'm able to send a message yet, I only just registered yesterday. Just wanted to say I know how you feel, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm also pretty badly damaged from meds, benzos in my case. I stopped them years ago and never went back to normal. I don't know if we're allowed to share other socials here but if you need anyone to chat with, I'm around

 

[Fadenself00_]

You need to reply to this thread in order to see this content.

 

[JoeFailure]

I don't think I'm able to send a message yet, I only just registered yesterday. Just wanted to say I know how you feel, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm also pretty badly damaged from meds, benzos in my case. I stopped them years ago and never went back to normal. I don't know if we're allowed to share other socials here but if you need anyone to chat with, I'm around

Yikes I'm sorry to hear that, I'm on Klonopin right now. I don't want to be but it's like the only thing that keeps me sane and my anxiety under control. I'm at like .5mg daily right now.

Can I ask what happened and what you were taking?

 

[_Minsk]

im sorry you have to deal with this. ive been on several meds too and can just confirm how dangerous they are. hope you find some new friends here. many hugs

 

[Gomomon]

Hi there, you can DM me if you want, I'm 21F. I don't have any condition from a chemical brain injury, but I'm happy to talk with you if you need it. I suffer from ADHD, and because of a previous OD, I have given myself a permanent heart condition. I really hope you find some form of relief, it must be unbelievably stressful to have to deal with that :(

 

[blueskies93]

Yikes I'm sorry to hear that, I'm on Klonopin right now. I don't want to be but it's like the only thing that keeps me sane and my anxiety under control. I'm at like .5mg daily right now.

Can I ask what happened and what you were taking?

Sorry for the slow reply, I'm not used to logging on yet! And I definitely get it, no judgement from me. I had a few reasons to want to stop, so I eventually did but if it works for you, then I see no reason to stop if it's already been a while. I'll try and summarize so you don't have to read a book haha.

I took alprazolam XR for a little more than three years, and was prescribed three 1 mg doses daily. I had a high tolerance pretty quickly but I didn't start there. I eventually asked to be taken off because I started noticing interdose withdrawal, so the doctor rapid tapered me and put me on lamotrigine to stop seizures. Unfortunately the rapid taper was so brutal and quick that it really messed me up and I've never been normal since. It's been a bit more than six years now and I'm barely making it through each day even after all this time. This doesn't happen to everyone though, so I hope for your sake it goes much easier if you ever decide to stop

 

[diealegend24]

Hi 22f Im not gonna go too into detail but I have a chemical brain injury from psych meds and god I just need friends right now. I have almost complete retrograde amnesia, severe anhedonia, cant read/understand speech, head pressure, neuropathy etc and have been declining for three years and am in so much pain, I just wait to go to sleep, its been over three years and ive only declined, am working with a doctor but have not had symptom relief and I just want to speak to someone else with a severe brain injury because im so ready to die.

Im thinking of saving up and applying for assisted dying in switzerland because I think im too scared to ever end my own life out of fear of it not working.

if ANY of u have a brain injury or psych drug injury and are suffering extremely pls talk to me i need a friend so bad

Wait do you live in the US or Switzerland?

I live in the US and am curious about assisted suicide.

 

[JoeFailure]

Sorry for the slow reply, I'm not used to logging on yet! And I definitely get it, no judgement from me. I had a few reasons to want to stop, so I eventually did but if it works for you, then I see no reason to stop if it's already been a while. I'll try and summarize so you don't have to read a book haha.

I took alprazolam XR for a little more than three years, and was prescribed three 1 mg doses daily. I had a high tolerance pretty quickly but I didn't start there. I eventually asked to be taken off because I started noticing interdose withdrawal, so the doctor rapid tapered me and put me on lamotrigine to stop seizures. Unfortunately the rapid taper was so brutal and quick that it really messed me up and I've never been normal since. It's been a bit more than six years now and I'm barely making it through each day even after all this time. This doesn't happen to everyone though, so I hope for your sake it goes much easier if you ever decide to stop

Ahh I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't want to be on Klonopin but I'm basically at Defcon 1 in terms of suicidality and it's the only thing that helps with the severe anxiety so I feel like I just have no choice.

Hopefully if I make it through this, which the odds aren't great of that, I'll be able to taper off eventually but I kind of just have to right now.

 

[kowkolyte]

I'm almost in the same boat as you're - damaged by psych drugs which I didn't even want to take in the first place. I'm allergic to those poisonous substances yet I was put on them without much care. Def think I have neuroleptic malignant syndrome, ntm my brain being inflamed so yeah I literally developed chemical imbalance and other bodily issues too.

I have contacted Dignitas about assisted suicide as well and they said I might get permission to commit there, but ofc it cost a lot so I need to get money for it somehow.

 

[DeadManLiving]

If you were wrongfully committed, you may be entitled to significant and substantial compensation.

 

[Ashu]

Was on a bunch in a short period, had an adverse reaction to zoloft x mirtazipine that i think caused some mild serotonin syndrome and all these issues developed after that and have slowly worsened. Its been three years and my body is stuck in this state, have had some markers that prove inflammation in my brain so i think its a combination of neuroinflammation x chemical injury, but my quality of life is nonexistent at this point.

Is anyone suing the drug company or the psychiatrist on your behalf? I'm so sorry these fucking monsters did this to you.

 

[Fadenself00_]

If you were wrongfully committed, you may be entitled to significant and substantial compensation.

Good luck proving anything

 

[blueskies93]

Ahh I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't want to be on Klonopin but I'm basically at Defcon 1 in terms of suicidality and it's the only thing that helps with the severe anxiety so I feel like I just have no choice.

Hopefully if I make it through this, which the odds aren't great of that, I'll be able to taper off eventually but I kind of just have to right now.

No judgement here (pretend I'm not responding almost an entire month late)! I probably would've kept taking them myself if they'd continued working for me. Once you're there, I don't see much purpose in stopping unless you have to. If it helps you then I definitely agree with staying on it.
Try your best not to worry too much about the potential future taper, most people don't react as severely as I did so it could end up being really easy! And either way, your present state of mind is more important I think. I hope you're able to feel better, no one deserves to feel as shitty as many of us here do.

 

[ipmanwc0]

my experience with meds has been bad but I was fucked up before so it's hard to tell if I got worse from them

 

[hughmun9]

my experience with meds has been bad but I was fucked up before so it's hard to tell if I got worse from them

same here

 

[Awesomefoid67]

Sorry for the slow reply, I'm not used to logging on yet! And I definitely get it, no judgement from me. I had a few reasons to want to stop, so I eventually did but if it works for you, then I see no reason to stop if it's already been a while. I'll try and summarize so you don't have to read a book haha.

I took alprazolam XR for a little more than three years, and was prescribed three 1 mg doses daily. I had a high tolerance pretty quickly but I didn't start there. I eventually asked to be taken off because I started noticing interdose withdrawal, so the doctor rapid tapered me and put me on lamotrigine to stop seizures. Unfortunately the rapid taper was so brutal and quick that it really messed me up and I've never been normal since. It's been a bit more than six years now and I'm barely making it through each day even after all this time. This doesn't happen to everyone though, so I hope for your sake it goes much easier if you ever decide to stop

what kind of doctor just rapid tapers you off after 3 fucking years wtf

genuinely sometimes i wonder how some people became doctors in the first place like i'm not even a doctor and i can tell thats a fucking horrible idea. especially if you had interdose withdrawl. they shouldve tapered you off extremely slowly with like diazepam or some other long half life benzo tbh (diazepam is the best for that kind of thing though iirc because it also has active metabolites)

 

[blueskies93]

what kind of doctor just rapid tapers you off after 3 fucking years wtf

genuinely sometimes i wonder how some people became doctors in the first place like i'm not even a doctor and i can tell thats a fucking horrible idea. especially if you had interdose withdrawl. they shouldve tapered you off extremely slowly with like diazepam or some other long half life benzo tbh (diazepam is the best for that kind of thing though iirc because it also has active metabolites)

I'm glad someone understands, I don't know why the fuck they thought it was a good idea. He even put me on seizure meds so he knew damn well that it would be brutal. Ah well, it's too late to change what happened now. But I do appreciate that you sympathize here, most people think it's all in my head due to the length of time it has gone on. Diazepam definitely would've been the way to go, you're right about that! I try to warn everyone I can now that if they plan to stop, absolutely do not rapid taper or agree to it (if given the option)

 

[JoeFailure]

No judgement here (pretend I'm not responding almost an entire month late)! I probably would've kept taking them myself if they'd continued working for me. Once you're there, I don't see much purpose in stopping unless you have to. If it helps you then I definitely agree with staying on it.
Try your best not to worry too much about the potential future taper, most people don't react as severely as I did so it could end up being really easy! And either way, your present state of mind is more important I think. I hope you're able to feel better, no one deserves to feel as shitty as many of us here do.

Haha I'm responding late too. I was on .5 per day for like 3 months, the last couple weeks I cut it to .25 per day and doing propanolol in the mornings and the .25 klonopin early afternoons and that's getting me through. I'll try to slowly taper down the rest.

If what you were taking was as strong as Klonopin, wow 1mg 3 times per day is pretty high but I suppose over 3 years your tolerance built up. I get it though, when my anxiety was at it's worst the Klonopin was the only thing that helped. Now that I'm doing a little bit better the propanolol can do enough.

Do you think you just tapered too quickly?

 

[blueskies93]

Haha I'm responding late too. I was on .5 per day for like 3 months, the last couple weeks I cut it to .25 per day and doing propanolol in the mornings and the .25 klonopin early afternoons and that's getting me through. I'll try to slowly taper down the rest.

If what you were taking was as strong as Klonopin, wow 1mg 3 times per day is pretty high but I suppose over 3 years your tolerance built up. I get it though, when my anxiety was at it's worst the Klonopin was the only thing that helped. Now that I'm doing a little bit better the propanolol can do enough.

Do you think you just tapered too quickly?

Hopefully your taper goes smoothly! The amount of time isn't too bad I think, I imagine you'll do well coming off of it! But of course, I'm sure it's still been difficult and I definitely relate. Make sure to take your time if it gets too rough, you'll be glad you did.

You are correct though, the dosing is equivalent between Klonopin and Xanax and I had built up a pretty high tolerance. Long ago I was an alcoholic, it's possibly my tolerance for alcohol contributed here since they work similarly in the brain. I definitely tapered far, far too quickly but wasn't given a choice, my doctor insisted this was how he wanted to do it unfortunately. I think the other contributing factor for me was the past alcoholism, I had already had that withdrawal before that was rough on my GABA receptors and it probably sensitized me even more when I quit benzos. Feel free to message me if you need any support, I know how hard it can be coming off of benzos. Hopefully you feel better soon!