Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
I do believe that everything is pre-determined but not for any particular reason other than cause and effect. Life is completely meaningless.
I do believe that everything is pre-determined but not for any particular reason other than cause and effect. Life is completely meaningless.
Amumu
Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
- Aug 29, 2020
- 2,624
Not being able to live in the same place as the girl I loved so much was a final straw.
Rn110bg101
I want to go home
- Apr 18, 2019
- 412
I lost my job 10 months ago. The director was a real asshole to me and I hate my new job. Not been happy since then. I hate my life.
Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
Yea, if I could do it again.. crazy thing is I crashed months after I had already quit.. found out it's typical for those that have complications.. body goes into shock when the dht floodgates open back up.. or something.. Merck still doesn't know wtf they did
Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
Nah.. I called a law firm.. there was already a class action.. the money dispersed etc..it was done.. they didn't want to touch it . I imagine if I gave them 50k or so.. but likely just throwing away money
Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
When I called the law firm I believe he said it was settled.. and I was basically to late.. maybe there are new ones.. I'm not sure how the process works to be honest..
It was odd.. the atty seemed very disinterested despite the fact their firm came up first in Google natural listings (not a paid ad though) and they had a webpage dedicated to it
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Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
Did you look for another firm that's getting another class action in the works. I studied law if they settled once they will settle again.
Maybe try finding other people who suffered the same and raise awareness for another class action maybe then solicitor might show interest. I'm sure someone is discussing the condition on some health forum online.
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Yea, there are a few forums on this . There are several thousands of guys on these forums alone.. we're all just trying to figure out how to get things working again .. it's about the only thing I have any kind of drive for
. I could literally have a million dollars and it wouldn't change anything.. I still would be "meh"
Trying to get a normal life back is energy intensive enough, and just surviving.. but thanks so much for your advice and compassion
. I could literally have a million dollars and it wouldn't change anything.. I still would be "meh"
Trying to get a normal life back is energy intensive enough, and just surviving.. but thanks so much for your advice and compassion
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Well, there's more than one in my case but the one mistake affecting me the most is having gained a lot of weight and being obese. (231 pounds right now and some years ago my weight was 154 pounds). It has brought such a depression on me and I have had my ups and downs but it's horrible to know that I can lose weight if I try hard but I just don't feel like. My damn spiral mental issue.
Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
At least it's giving you something to do. I pray you and the others get some justice out of this.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
sadworld
existence is a nightmare
- Aug 25, 2020
- 3,870
Being born on this world, i don't like what humanity is like. Other from that, there is nothing i had control of
Pop my knee whilst bike riding. The Meniscus was so called repaired. But still cannot bend or straighten it. This has been like this for over 3 years. Nothing more can be done. Pain every day.
Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
Sorry, at least I get some respite but you are in pain all the time I know what you mean, I used to share the bed with my mum who broke her thigh bone, she was crying through the night and would ask me to put pressure on it. Nothing worst than physical pain. I would ask for it for myself then dignitas would have to accept me.
Hazelnut
Member
- Sep 15, 2020
- 42
I was already weakened since childhood by a bunch of cumulative events. Then it just kept being worse... But I always tried to get back on my feet and move forward, because, well, it was the mantra of everyone else. I was also really ignorant and deluded about this world and human relationships.
So I "listened to my heart", and I started to work in an area that I completely idealised, because I still had hope in humanity at that time. I was so fucking naive...
Working in a specific area of this professional field, during this year, was my point of no return.
Every delusion that I forced myself to believe in order to cope with this world, my "family" and also myself just collapsed... And there is no way that I'm gonna start thinking differently. It's over.
Going to CTB soon, when everything is ready, and I feel so relieved thinking about it.
Sorry for my shitty english
So I "listened to my heart", and I started to work in an area that I completely idealised, because I still had hope in humanity at that time. I was so fucking naive...
Working in a specific area of this professional field, during this year, was my point of no return.
Every delusion that I forced myself to believe in order to cope with this world, my "family" and also myself just collapsed... And there is no way that I'm gonna start thinking differently. It's over.
Going to CTB soon, when everything is ready, and I feel so relieved thinking about it.
Sorry for my shitty english
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X-rays still show damage or inflammation? Have u tried frequency microcurrent?
My mom has arthritis in her knee, couldn't bend, severe pain.. I let her use my frequency microcurrent box.. after about two weeks she was pain free and the stiffness reduced considerably., Prob 50 percent. she could use stairs..
then she went to arthritis doctor and they prescribed hydroxychloriquine.. yes, the same hydroxychloriquine that's considered "controversial" with respect to covid. Apparently lots of people with arthritis are on, As A Prescription.. don't trust the lying scumbag media, it's very safe..
anyway, she's about 90 percent mobility and zero pain..
Pm me if u want to discuss further.
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Deleted member 94
Wizard
- Mar 24, 2018
- 696
I shared the bed with her for minding her she was in her late 50's all of her medicines had made her bones like the thinness of chicken bones. She was in my opinion a pharma destroyed life but she always said it's karma from a past life and let her pay for sins of past life and not blame anyone else.
kyubi
愛
- Sep 17, 2020
- 5
I feel like I wasn't very supportive to my loved one and ignored her signs. She was the only good thing in my life, the only person that really cared about me and motivated me to improve myself. Now she's dead and I cannot force myself to live in this world without her, all I feel is pain, sadness and sorrow.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
It was a couple of years ago when I lost the only person I ever really cared about. That was my last straw.
ItsOverIsntIt
Experienced
- Sep 9, 2020
- 234
I don't have one big main reason but a lot of things have been affecting me. Im in college and it sucks, i hate it so much and havent been doing some of work so ill be getting bad grades. I don't talk or meet up with people lately. I still live with my family and they are driving me fuckign crazy. I dont want to do anything anymore
Sorry to hear of the trauma.
What happened that caused you to get tinnitus?
I understand it's one of the worst things that can happen because it ruins sleep sometimes.
Blueman
Student
- Aug 13, 2020
- 171
Last year aged 54 I took a payoff from my job refusing the option of boring work in another department. Even though I have no career aspirations left apart from actually working and thoroughly enjoyed the company of co workers.
Disastrous move I spent the payoff on travelling which wasn't that enjoyable as I'd already done a lot of travelling before.
Didn't really meet people due to my age, places I went and the fact so many people spend time on gadgets.
I've come back to coronavirus have failed to find another job.
I dreadfully miss not only the comfort of a regular salary ( I have savings which won't last forever) , but the routine of work, the little work community I had for company, I had a very active social life but this has been messed up by me becoming depressed about long term unemployment, my reluctance to spend as very little income, coronavirus restrictions causing problems.
As a single man in his 50s with an elderly Mum, busy sister and preoccupied friends I really didn't appreciate just how vital work was on so many fronts. Even if I can secure new employment I won't get back that community feel especially now it's all wfh.
Huge mistake which looking back was obviously going to happen as securing new similar employment was going to be difficult even without coronavirus but I got swept along by the thought of a payoff travel and listening to everyone saying how easily I'd find another job and people saying it's the right thing to do as you have no kids.
It's so hard going from a fit 54 year old, with a non stop social life never had depression to this virtual shell of a man I've become I'm like a 55 year old whose run out of any zest for life and is scared for my future when if I'd have carried on as I was I'd be happy and looking forward to my future
Disastrous move I spent the payoff on travelling which wasn't that enjoyable as I'd already done a lot of travelling before.
Didn't really meet people due to my age, places I went and the fact so many people spend time on gadgets.
I've come back to coronavirus have failed to find another job.
I dreadfully miss not only the comfort of a regular salary ( I have savings which won't last forever) , but the routine of work, the little work community I had for company, I had a very active social life but this has been messed up by me becoming depressed about long term unemployment, my reluctance to spend as very little income, coronavirus restrictions causing problems.
As a single man in his 50s with an elderly Mum, busy sister and preoccupied friends I really didn't appreciate just how vital work was on so many fronts. Even if I can secure new employment I won't get back that community feel especially now it's all wfh.
Huge mistake which looking back was obviously going to happen as securing new similar employment was going to be difficult even without coronavirus but I got swept along by the thought of a payoff travel and listening to everyone saying how easily I'd find another job and people saying it's the right thing to do as you have no kids.
It's so hard going from a fit 54 year old, with a non stop social life never had depression to this virtual shell of a man I've become I'm like a 55 year old whose run out of any zest for life and is scared for my future when if I'd have carried on as I was I'd be happy and looking forward to my future
vacant_n
Member
- Aug 13, 2020
- 41
It wasn't any one thing. It was a series of decisions over a long period of time, and it would have been impossible for me to predict that they would play out the way they have.
If you want to get to the real root of things, it's something that probably isn't even my fault. There's something broken in the way I form relationships. They're too close, too intense, and when they're over I don't have enough of my own identity left to sustain myself. This time is just especially bad and I know I won't bounce back. More than anything, I'm afraid I'm done with the happiest part of my life and I'm going to spend years chasing after that feeling.
In terms of specifics, I just took the most important person in my life for granted and I shouldn't have. It's trite but it's true. If you love someone, make sure they know that. Don't just tell them, show them, too. Don't forget to do all the little things that keep a relationship special.
If you want to get to the real root of things, it's something that probably isn't even my fault. There's something broken in the way I form relationships. They're too close, too intense, and when they're over I don't have enough of my own identity left to sustain myself. This time is just especially bad and I know I won't bounce back. More than anything, I'm afraid I'm done with the happiest part of my life and I'm going to spend years chasing after that feeling.
In terms of specifics, I just took the most important person in my life for granted and I shouldn't have. It's trite but it's true. If you love someone, make sure they know that. Don't just tell them, show them, too. Don't forget to do all the little things that keep a relationship special.
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demon bunny
crybaby
- Mar 4, 2020
- 15
serial cheater here. im sorry. i regret it so much but when people come onto me i am so impulsive. its not like i don't love who im with or that they're not good enough or anything. nothing like that. and i really really loved him i promise u. but i make mistakes. i have two impulse control disorders that are untreated. none of this is an excuse. im very sorry for who i am. i wish i was good enough for the people i loved but i am not. very very sorry ok.
whenlavaflows
Member
- Sep 21, 2020
- 86
I have had suicidal ideation since I was 12. When I met my ex, I felt like I finally recovered and had a reason to live.
Unfortunately, I'm an addict. Did not realize this until I met my drug of choice.
Benzo's ruined my entire life and my relationship. I turned into a completely different person and lost my entire life.
I'm 25, but feel like I'm 20 again re-living my trauma's over and over every day. I don't know how I got through the withdrawals. I'm in constant fight/flight mode fighting to not think about my ex. He even told me that I can't kill myself because "he can't have a death on his conscience"
Lol.........I really am just going to give this a few more months so I can work and save up $ and figure out my plan to CTB.
Unfortunately, I'm an addict. Did not realize this until I met my drug of choice.
Benzo's ruined my entire life and my relationship. I turned into a completely different person and lost my entire life.
I'm 25, but feel like I'm 20 again re-living my trauma's over and over every day. I don't know how I got through the withdrawals. I'm in constant fight/flight mode fighting to not think about my ex. He even told me that I can't kill myself because "he can't have a death on his conscience"
Lol.........I really am just going to give this a few more months so I can work and save up $ and figure out my plan to CTB.
Nem
Drs suck mega ass!
- Sep 3, 2018
- 1,489
This is an easy question to answer. I became involved with a sociopath and stayed in the relationship even though I saw serious red flags. I refer to her as Hitler and I'm not really exaggerating too much (well, maybe somewhat) but she was a goddamned asshole, control freak etc.
She had no empathy and what's worse, looking back she was ugly af. She ended up demanding I keep taking dangerous meds after I said they were making me sick, a friend said he would've killed her if he was in my situation. I could go on but I had a violent reaction to the meds two weeks later and suffered severe damage...I still barely sleep.
I only slept two hours a night for around 3-4 years after this happened, hospital made a fake triage report and tried to cover up the fact they left me to die in a wheelchair. Then Hitler threatened break up if I sued...saved her life by not killing her
peace/hugs
She had no empathy and what's worse, looking back she was ugly af. She ended up demanding I keep taking dangerous meds after I said they were making me sick, a friend said he would've killed her if he was in my situation. I could go on but I had a violent reaction to the meds two weeks later and suffered severe damage...I still barely sleep.
I only slept two hours a night for around 3-4 years after this happened, hospital made a fake triage report and tried to cover up the fact they left me to die in a wheelchair. Then Hitler threatened break up if I sued...saved her life by not killing her
peace/hugs
