Discussion have you told anyone about your plans to ctb?

[canidiealreadyy]

what the title says

for me, ive told several different people over the years but most recently ive told my ex boyfriend. he has been begging me to not, telling me how heavily my death would affect him. saying it would torment him and he would never get over the sadness it would bring him. he feels personally responsible for making sure i dont commit suicide. i understand why he feels that way because i was planning on ctb once our relationship was over. which was something he knew. i was talking to him about if he wanted me to leave him a video or a letter. he said a video would torment him and he was crying at the thought of having to watch it. he said no matter what i left for him he would struggle to finish it. this was rather surprising to me because i didnt expect anyone to feel this way about my death. especially him. i struggle to feel bad for him because if he had put more effort into our relationship, i wouldnt be doing this now. my plan was always to kill myself within the next year or so but without him theres no point in staying around for so long. one day he'll understand and even if he doesn't, he'll get over it.