Discussion have you told anyone about your plans to ctb?

[canidiealreadyy]

what the title says

for me, ive told several different people over the years but most recently ive told my ex boyfriend. he has been begging me to not, telling me how heavily my death would affect him. saying it would torment him and he would never get over the sadness it would bring him. he feels personally responsible for making sure i dont commit suicide. i understand why he feels that way because i was planning on ctb once our relationship was over. which was something he knew. i was talking to him about if he wanted me to leave him a video or a letter. he said a video would torment him and he was crying at the thought of having to watch it. he said no matter what i left for him he would struggle to finish it. this was rather surprising to me because i didnt expect anyone to feel this way about my death. especially him. i struggle to feel bad for him because if he had put more effort into our relationship, i wouldnt be doing this now. my plan was always to kill myself within the next year or so but without him theres no point in staying around for so long. one day he'll understand and even if he doesn't, he'll get over it.

 

[SimplePeaceOfMind]

Well, I was thinking to tell my psychiatrist that I want to CTB, but I am afraid that he can evoke some law like 5150 to put me under some health facility.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Yes but no one can or will do anything to help - there all too busy with their lives - new cars, holidays work,, grand kids, their familys, etc - my family see me as a burden and want me dead so they don't give a rats ass.

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

I would, but as we all know, suicidal people are the worst kind of criminal and must be detained immediately. Can't threaten the economy, no, no. That's like... worse than threatening a human!!

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Back when I believed I could be helped I used to tell it to people, including therapists. All I got in return is sexual harassment by my own mother and people calling me an attention whore who doesn't know what they're talking about.

I don't know why people don't take me seriously enough to believe me but no one ever called the police or tried to get me therapy. Not that it would have helped but it feels uniquely cruel to hear from everyone around you that they see you as subhuman enough to dismiss your suffering

 

[passthisnote]

no but some of my online friends suspect it from my comment activity on other apps

 

[ScarletTanager]

Yes, I've told people on here, and my ex husband. He is also planning on ctb in 6 years when he runs out of money. I've only worked part time since our son died. And he has quit work altogether. We are both having plans to kill ourselves. He also said he might shoot me, which I said was fine.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

After several attempts, I think everyone already knows, so I've never had to say anything.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

what the title says

for me, ive told several different people over the years but most recently ive told my ex boyfriend. he has been begging me to not, telling me how heavily my death would affect him. saying it would torment him and he would never get over the sadness it would bring him. he feels personally responsible for making sure i dont commit suicide. i understand why he feels that way because i was planning on ctb once our relationship was over. which was something he knew. i was talking to him about if he wanted me to leave him a video or a letter. he said a video would torment him and he was crying at the thought of having to watch it. he said no matter what i left for him he would struggle to finish it. this was rather surprising to me because i didnt expect anyone to feel this way about my death. especially him. i struggle to feel bad for him because if he had put more effort into our relationship, i wouldnt be doing this now. my plan was always to kill myself within the next year or so but without him theres no point in staying around for so long. one day he'll understand and even if he doesn't, he'll get over it.

I only say that I have a big plan coming up, but I can't say in details cause I don't wanna jinx it. No one suspects a thing cause I tend to smile while I say it. Explicitly telling others about your ctb plan is really a bad idea so I don't do that.

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

no and i wish because I hate this society so much that forces us to continue against our will, this is the biggest decision ill make in my life, but i cant share it with anyone, because nobody will respect it, its so lonely, and also it makes me feel guilty, my friend missed my birthday celebration because she wasnt able to get the day off work and was considering calling in sick, but didnt out of fear of being punished, and now im left carrying the knowledge that this was my last one, and when i go, she will probably feel really bad about that

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I don't have anyone that 'close' and I will never tell about my ctb to anyone irl. And I know their typical answer would be , "you are going to hell don't do it" hahhhah

 

[HD72]

Yes, I've told people on here, and my ex husband. He is also planning on ctb in 6 years when he runs out of money. I've only worked part time since our son died. And he has quit work altogether. We are both having plans to kill ourselves. He also said he might shoot me, which I said was fine.

You are lucky you have someone who will help u. All anyone wants to do is keep me alive. Doesn't matter I have horrible health and terrible pain. Just as long as their consciences are clean. I am trapped in a body in agony. I can't get out to get supplies. I am terrified and I hurt so bad. Help. Someone please help.

 

[flowerbomb]

two people know. They worry and this is extremely hard to deal with. I never want anyone to worry about me.

 

[hevnsfall]

I told my psychiatrist and the girl who does my nails.

 

[pickedmyctbdate]

Nobody to tell. My whole family is dead. I'm the only one left. I take comfort in the idea of being reunited with them. I had a wonderful family. I'm one of those people who everyone wanted to sleep over at my house because I had such nice parents who let us have fun, but kept an eye on us. Then one by one, they all eventually died. I would never have considered it while my mother was alive, but now she's gone, I thought I could restart my life somehow, but that never works. You have the life you get. I loved it until I had to go to school and deal with all the little shits in my school. Been waiting for this day ever since.

 

[hazelmoon]

I've told my ex boyfriend as well, and my mom. My mom really couldn't care less. It honestly just annoys her whenever I bring it up. I can't even remember the last time I tried to go to her for comfort tho. I tried for years to chase a relationship and a bond with my mom until I realized it will never happen because she doesn't feel any maternal feelings towards me. She has told me so many times in so many ways that she doesn't care about me. So I stopped going to her.

I told my ex boyfriend when we first got together (after being friends for years) that I actually had everything ready to go and I was going to ctb about 5 days after he called me, but that call changed my life for the time being. Then I found out about 8 months in that he had been cheating on me basically the whole relationship, so back to square one. Now he just cries whenever it's brought up in conversation and apologizes over and over and says I'm all he has, and that he really regrets what he did because it put me back in a dark place.

I have a hard time feeling sorry for him as well because he kept doing me wrong the whole relationship and kept promising to change but wouldn't. I feel like if he really cared about me as much as he acts like he does, or loved me like he claims, he wouldn't have constantly hurt me and do things to jeopardize my place in his life. So whenever we're on the phone and he's crying, I just ask him to stop crying.

He told my mom of my plans, and seeing as I haven't talked to her about my mental health in ages, I guess she was curious. She asked if I was planning on killing myself and I said no, and then she went out of town and went on about her life. That was that. Lol. So yes I've told 2 people, but one of them doesn't gaf, and the other one forfeited his right to be my reason to fight my demons.