I'm a 19 year old fat piece of shit white kid in an upper middle class neighborhood. I have all the fucking privilege one could ask for. And somehow I managed to fuck it up. I will never find love in my life. Every time I've gotten close to having something significant with a woman they just ghost me because someone more desirable comes along. Genuinely I'm at the bottom of the fucking barrel. And I don't hate women or anything like that. Everyone just wants the best for themselves and I am forever unable to provide that for anybody.
Maybe living would be a little bit easier if the world we lived in wasn't so fucking awful. I mean I go on social media and all I fucking hear about are crimes and atrocities, in addition to global conflicts that everyone knows about.
Most people tell me that it'll get better and I just have to find the right person or some shit like that but fucking will it? You really believe that shit? It's only gotten worse. And it's my own fucking fault too. I wasn't always a fat ugly fuck, I used to exercise a lot and look like a normal person. But the first romantic failure of my life completely fucking broke me. Wouldn't even be a big deal for most people but I'm such a fucking pussy and I can't handle shit.
And because I'm such a pussy I can't even bring myself to commit suicide. Too much could go wrong and it would only make it worse. I know that I would most likely ruin the lives of my friends and family but honestly I'm a selfish asshole and I don't even care anymore. Everything wrong with me seems so fixable but I'm just too fucking lazy and too much of a pussy to do anything about it.
Maybe I'll intentionally crash my car into a tree or something off the highway when I come home from work tonight. But probably not. Because I'm a giant fucking coward.
And I know everyone reading this probably has way better reasons for wanting to kill themselves, but here I fucking am.
Maybe living would be a little bit easier if the world we lived in wasn't so fucking awful. I mean I go on social media and all I fucking hear about are crimes and atrocities, in addition to global conflicts that everyone knows about.
Most people tell me that it'll get better and I just have to find the right person or some shit like that but fucking will it? You really believe that shit? It's only gotten worse. And it's my own fucking fault too. I wasn't always a fat ugly fuck, I used to exercise a lot and look like a normal person. But the first romantic failure of my life completely fucking broke me. Wouldn't even be a big deal for most people but I'm such a fucking pussy and I can't handle shit.
And because I'm such a pussy I can't even bring myself to commit suicide. Too much could go wrong and it would only make it worse. I know that I would most likely ruin the lives of my friends and family but honestly I'm a selfish asshole and I don't even care anymore. Everything wrong with me seems so fixable but I'm just too fucking lazy and too much of a pussy to do anything about it.
Maybe I'll intentionally crash my car into a tree or something off the highway when I come home from work tonight. But probably not. Because I'm a giant fucking coward.
And I know everyone reading this probably has way better reasons for wanting to kill themselves, but here I fucking am.
