Venting This world is disgusting. My life is meaningless.

[user738284]

I'm a 19 year old fat piece of shit white kid in an upper middle class neighborhood. I have all the fucking privilege one could ask for. And somehow I managed to fuck it up. I will never find love in my life. Every time I've gotten close to having something significant with a woman they just ghost me because someone more desirable comes along. Genuinely I'm at the bottom of the fucking barrel. And I don't hate women or anything like that. Everyone just wants the best for themselves and I am forever unable to provide that for anybody.

Maybe living would be a little bit easier if the world we lived in wasn't so fucking awful. I mean I go on social media and all I fucking hear about are crimes and atrocities, in addition to global conflicts that everyone knows about.

Most people tell me that it'll get better and I just have to find the right person or some shit like that but fucking will it? You really believe that shit? It's only gotten worse. And it's my own fucking fault too. I wasn't always a fat ugly fuck, I used to exercise a lot and look like a normal person. But the first romantic failure of my life completely fucking broke me. Wouldn't even be a big deal for most people but I'm such a fucking pussy and I can't handle shit.

And because I'm such a pussy I can't even bring myself to commit suicide. Too much could go wrong and it would only make it worse. I know that I would most likely ruin the lives of my friends and family but honestly I'm a selfish asshole and I don't even care anymore. Everything wrong with me seems so fixable but I'm just too fucking lazy and too much of a pussy to do anything about it.

Maybe I'll intentionally crash my car into a tree or something off the highway when I come home from work tonight. But probably not. Because I'm a giant fucking coward.

And I know everyone reading this probably has way better reasons for wanting to kill themselves, but here I fucking am.

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

I feel the same way. Humanity disgusts me, horrible news everywhere (and people pretend it's all normal), and I can't escape either. I keep telling myself I'm a coward, but I'll keep trying. I have to escape. Failure is not an option.

Every time I've gotten close to having something significant with a woman they just ghost me because someone more desirable comes along.

I'm a woman and I have no luck with women either. I get dropped/ghosted all the time.

And I know everyone reading this probably has way better reasons for wanting to kill themselves,

There's no such thing as a better reason. It's your reason. It's all that matters. It's nobody's business.

 

[rosegarden123]

Im a woman too and i have no luck with women either. A sensitive and unskilled fatass too. I rly resonate with you OP, I don't know what's the matter with us but it's depressing as fuck. I want to be hot and talented and im 27, so much older than you. If you follow suicide watch on reddit there's a huge bunch of people with similar reasons to ours. Its our society. It rly praises a lucky bunch and it's all in front of our faces. I really wished and desired love and sex my whole life but time after time after time proves to me I'm too disgusting. Seeing other lesbians is a HUGE trigger for me.

 

[never mind me]

There are no good or bad reasons for wishing to die. And I think it is not so unusual to feel devasted after what you call romantic failure. Especially if we are still young and haven't yet had any experience how to handle it.
If you want to try to get better maybe it would be a good idea to start exercising again. Not only to lose weight, but also to feel a bit better mentally. It can really make a difference.
And if you decide to ctb, please take the time to pick a reliable method. Don't do something stupid like crashing your car into a tree, because it may very well not kill you, but cause severe injuries.
I can relate to the news being super depressing. I don't really use social media and am glad I don't, because it seems like a waste of time at best and a way to get unhappy at worst. But especially recently with everything that's going on in the world at large and also in my home country I find that even reading the news makes me feel really bad. So I started to avoid that as well. There's just no point following the news for me, unless maybe before an upcoming election to inform myself about what the different parties want to do (not that they actually keep their promises).

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

Im a woman too and i have no luck with women either. A sensitive and unskilled fatass too. I rly resonate with you OP, I don't know what's the matter with us but it's depressing as fuck. I want to be hot and talented and im 27, so much older than you. If you follow suicide watch on reddit there's a huge bunch of people with similar reasons to ours. Its our society. It rly praises a lucky bunch and it's all in front of our faces. I really wished and desired love and sex my whole life but time after time after time proves to me I'm too disgusting. Seeing other lesbians is a HUGE trigger for me.

So sorry you feel that way, hugs. Dating is a cruel game when everyone's just in it for themselves and being superficial too. I don't care much about looks, it's about personality for me. I wish I had a wife and a best friend in one. But that seems so rare.

 

[Off_Switch]

The world will never get any better. Only worse and more dystopian.

 

[anonymoususer278387]

i feel you </3