I just finished an online therapy session, cried, made scratches on my hand with a serrated knife, cried some more, felt emptiness and went to the store to buy myself something for lunch so that it would not be that I don't eat. Now I feel tiredness combined with feelings of anger at myself, irritation and constant emotional pain in my chest. It's a good thing that today I didn't have the courage to say that I hurt myself this week after several months. I don't want to ask my parents and sibling how they see me, my good and bad qualities, whag they like me for, etc. Is this supposed to make me feel loved and my existence make sense and isn't pointless? No, I'll only feel more guilty for feeling the way I do, for hating myself, I can't cope in life, for making my existence nothing but a burden. Can this feeling disappear at all or at least be quiet for some time?