Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Life_and_Death]

i have to kms for "my bf"...
he thinks im abusive... well..if im abusive i should go shouldnt i? im obviously not good enough for him...he deserves better..he wants me to stay anyway..he thinks i can fix it...
problem? im "not" abusive...i didnt really do anything... like my profile picture says..its the damn bpd...
lacking cognitive empathy and feeling my own emotions heavily... yeah...its gonna come off bad....but i just dont understand....

Cognitive empathy is more like a skill: Humans learn to recognize and understand others' emotional state as a way to process emotions and behavior

no matter how many times i tell him it seems like he wont get it.....ill never be normal...

he knows the one thing ive never wanted to be like is my mother...why would i be abusive...? im always telling him that how he feels matters and no one should tell him otherwise... i go out of my way to try to not be abusive......and i still failed...

 

[Lullaby]

I can't seem to fit in anywhere, literally. It's nothing new, so I wish it didn't bother me.

All I have is my cat.

 

[Life_and_Death]

what am i suppose to do with someone that thinks im abusive but still doesnt want to let me go... "kys isnt for me, that would hurt" and me staying alive hurting you is better?? i dont get it.... im not worth it... i have to just ignore him and do it... hes never going to understand why its better... i dont understand why he cant.. you always hear people saying "mean" people should be dead (never follow a court case, the shit that gets thrown, and i swear (in some cases know) its lies)

 

[Kundalini Guy]

i feel like shit

 

[Life_and_Death]

"change all this shit about you. prove to me that love can be enough" you weren't ever going to change your fucking mind.. you were going to have me change everything about myself, give up all my "bad habits" to be the perfect little goody two shoes you wanted me to be, waiting by the door for you to say im good enough for you now and youre ready to live with me..

AND YOU NEVER FUCKING WERE GOING TO!!!!!

i hope i met someone that completely fucks me up. keeping me high and drunk all the time so im too fucked up to give a shit about what they physically do to me. i hope they beat me, r* me and bring their friends in on it...

FUCK YOU!

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I don't want to go to work.

 

[sick.faery]

like i want to go real soon, cant take existing anymore

 

[Life_and_Death]

he started naming off shit i do.. "well what if i... what if i.." apparently me even asking what hes up to was wrong and annoying... the only thing we do is message...i cant see whats going on...i just thought id try to be supportive and whatnot but even my support was wrong i suppose...

"not everything you do is wrong" it clearly fucking is..!

i just want to not wake up..

 

[Life_and_Death]

i feel like i need a personal assistant or "death" (life) coach.

should i join his social media so he knows im still here?

dude...he had no problem leading you on
1) he doesnt deserve it
2) just kill yourself.

i would love to hire someone whose entire job is to remind me to die

 

[Aesthetic guy]

just want to go to the kitchen, take the cheese shredder and rub it on my face till i reach the bone

 

[thatguyakira123]

angry, sad, fustrated

 

[greebo6]

a little scared and very anxious

 

[Meteora]

I feel horrible. That's nothing special. Just stupid enough to keep on living. I wish it was all over. Finally at peace after so many years of struggle.

 

[tiger b]

Disgusted. Some people selfishly advocate for things that if they were on the end of they wouldn't take.

 

[NocturnILL]

I feel like the more I do things good for me and things that spark my interest the more I despise living. This world is so fucked up and cruel. These moments are just moments and the more I make sense of that the less and less these moments satisfy me. It feels like nothing is sustainable. I am honestly not supposed to be here. Me in this lifetime is all done.

 

[Kit1]

Exhausted. The pain is unbearable. I want to sleep now and not wake up.

 

[mereidmo]

i feel abandoned in such an evil way. i am housed and fed. i have a good pc, a car to drive.. i am allowed to go out now and then to get fast food. those needs are met. but my health is getting so bad.. both mental and physical.. i live in a state that is stingy with medicaid.. i need to be on disability but no lawyers will take my case. doctors just make me feel like they wont really listen to me.. i am diabetic, i have congestive heart failure, chronic fatigue, severe adhd, bpd, maybe cptsd.. always dreadfully depressed or in a panic. always chronically lonely. my family won't help me get to a doctor. i dont have my own income, i have to depend on them for anything i have. its getting hard for me to breathe and hard to sleep... im afraid if i am honest with a crisis line they'll throw me in the loony bin and force a bunch of changes on me im not ready to make. i feel like nobody on this planet understands me. I seriously want to die but the method i'm interested in is so hard to find information on.. i feel truly fucked.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I FEEL AMAZING

 

[moonflow3r]

hopeless, resignated, i have an awful headache my ghead is gonna explote

 

[Lostandlooking]

Just got ready for bed and then I got the hiccups. Already took a sleepingpill. Interested how this will play out. I don't get the hiccups often. It's so silly. And it's even sillier because I feel so loopy from the sleepingpill. Hic! Hic! Hic!

 

[Life_and_Death]

i feel like i need a personal assistant or "death" (life) coach.

should i join his social media so he knows im still here?

dude...he had no problem leading you on
1) he doesnt deserve it
2) just kill yourself.

i would love to hire someone whose entire job is to remind me to die

stay with him ill get my wish??
isnt he just wonderful sui-fuel?

perfectly fine with leading me on and now hes downloaded a dating app but wants to keep me around so he has someone when hes not with someone.

i feel so fucking used....

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

Trapped, as usual. What's new?

I fucking wish that I would have taken my future more seriously when I was in my early 20's.

I wish I would have moved beyond the fear, the doubts, the pussy-ass depression and anxiety and just grabbed the world by the fucking balls and taken more risks and not given a fuck what anyone thought.

That's why I hate seeing so many young people on here who have given up.

I get it, and I get there's no "age-limit on suicidality", but Jesus-fuck, imagine being 36 and still in the same goddamn boat with no out.

If nothing else, just pick something and DO something.

That's the only piece of advice I would give, and will ever offer on this site ever again.

 

[steppenwolf]

I'm drunk. And I think that very strong tobacco is the only thing that can make me happy at this stage. That and more booze.

 

[haibane]

Completely exhausted of everything. Everything seems pointless.

 

[Bunny Beanie]

I'm sick and tired of being the "angel on earth" for people that can't even show me the same type of love back. Being a good person gets you no where except towards trauma. I'm so tired of suffering.

 

[ForeverBroken]

I'm tired. Having quite of bit of pain right now.(had surgery 3 weeks ago) Took some pain meds and will hopefully fall asleep soon.

 

[deadtomorrow]

Angry

 

[D1byRam3n]

Heart wrenching,feeling anxious, and being paranoid too much.thank you!

 

[SmollMushroom]

Ok. Just ok. A bit bored.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

I'm feeling tired, tired of making sacrifices who few people make, but still not get not even the one quarter of what most people got...it's never enough what I do