NocturnILL

NocturnILL

She will become the wind…
Sep 11, 2023
434
Felt some relief today…therapybwasnr that bad. I went to the gym and did some cardio. I feel tired now but not in a bad way. I am kind of just waiting for my emotions to plummet. Toxic af…my feet are cold too.
 
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Kore

Kore

Lonely in a room full of people…
Nov 2, 2023
146
I feel numb. Empty. Lonely. But mostly just numb. Motivation and drive are almost completely at zero now. The days don't end, just cycles between light and dark, and I pass out for the dark part and then carry on. Feels endless. Idk how to get back. Or if I want to get back. What would be the point. Everything feels so grey, even the 'fun' things feel vague now, desaturated. Feels like a spiral, downwards, slowly - but surely. It's late. I guess I should pass out for a while till it's light again.
 
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asian.neet

asian.neet

Specialist
Oct 13, 2023
307
I WANNA DIE IM SO ANGEY AT THE WORLD AND THERAPY I JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
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picklealex

picklealex

I hate it all, just let me die
Jun 24, 2023
121
I am feeling a mix of angry and tired. I am tired of being here and I want to leave. there's alot of emotions that I am feeling right now, it's as if all of them were pushing down on me in a circle, pushing and pressing to the middle of my body. if that makes any sense.
 
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Nanako

Nanako

Experienced
Dec 24, 2018
289
Profound sadness. Despair. Don't really wanna die but living is so much worse. Can't stand this anymore, I never asked for much so why am I being punished like this? I just want to scream, I can't take it anymore
 
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Unsure and Useless

Unsure and Useless

Drifting Aimlessly without Roots
Feb 7, 2023
254
Terrible. I want to stab myself with the knitting needles every time I make a mistake. I want to scream and cry and bang my head against the wall for not getting consistent stitches. I want to keep knitting the same row over and over again even when my fingers are sore and my hands cramp until I get it right. I want to never touch a knitting needle again. I feel ashamed for feeling like such a child. I feel upset that I'm not good at knitting. I feel embarrassed for almost having a panic attack at the sign of failure.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,892
awesome (so much sarcasm)
my back hurts and the only person i can get back rubs from is my manipulative ex husband thats obviously still trying. im getting hxrny thinking about my bf and somehow, i have to not f up...
 
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SleepySept

SleepySept

Member
Nov 7, 2023
61
Worthless and delusional. I genuinely can't express much in words. I don't think there's anyone in the world that will be capable of handling someone like me.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,892
awesome (so much sarcasm)
my back hurts and the only person i can get back rubs from is my manipulative ex husband thats obviously still trying. im getting hxrny thinking about my bf and somehow, i have to not f up...
literally only needs to do the bottom of my back "id like to do your whole back, its boring in the one spot" its suppose to be boring, youre doing it because im in pain in that spot -_-:meh:
to bad i dont want a stranger touching me or id probably just see if my free medical massages is still an option. of course then id have to hear "aint i doing a good enough job". im so tired of listening to him..
 
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L

loopdaloop

-
Apr 16, 2023
323
pissed off that my parents don't respect my wish to ctb. angry that i have to hide my plans from them. paranoid that they might find out and make things a lot worse (again).
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,488
I'm feeling really shitty right now. I decided to use the time I had between classes to buy some some safety razor blades. I usually cut using a pencil sharpener blade, but I wanted to try something else. I've been feeling shitty since this morning so I decided what better time to test out one of these blades then in the washroom. That was a big mistake. I accidently cut too deep and and a bit of my fat popped out. Now I'm terrified that I'm going to get an infection. I understand it's kind of pathetic, but I've never cut past the stryo before.
 
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asian.neet

asian.neet

Specialist
Oct 13, 2023
307
RAGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
 
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S like suicide

S like suicide

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,435
Crying all night long
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
9,333
Not good. So tired. Exhaustion. Just want my forever nap. I should not exist. I dread every day.
I hate life. 😡😡😡😡😡
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,892
wishing i had pills to numb emotion...to make me stop loving..stop caring..

i feel like all im hearing is "id prefer it if you didnt.. dont do..change...im uncomfortable with.."
i feel like the only way to make you happy with me is to just sit down and shut up....

i hate bpd...please just let me kill it...
 
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NocturnILL

NocturnILL

She will become the wind…
Sep 11, 2023
434
I have crazy insomnia and it's making me feel crazy. My eyes burn but I can't sit still. My mind is racing but my heart beats are slow so I am not anxious. At least I don't think idk. I guess I'm a little unstable right now or I'm just sleep deprived 😪. I just want to fall asleep. I'm going to read…if I watch the last episodes of MHA then I'll just be more hyper than my body feels. Errrr this is annoying. Yea I should read…
 
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A

anxious_depressive

I'm in despair
Dec 21, 2021
226
The guilt is eating me up inside.
I'm nothing.

I have nightmares and I'm exhausted.
 
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tiger b

tiger b

AI without the I
Oct 24, 2023
1,236
jaded
 
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Final_Choice

Final_Choice

Mage
Aug 3, 2023
544
Lonely and anxious. I feel so alone, I haven't talked to anyone in days because everyone I know is with their family but I'm just by myself. I feel like I should take this time to relax but I can't, I just feel anxious about life and can't even actually relax.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,892
dreading aging while feeling like im "not allowed to"..
my 25th bday is coming up in about 6mnths. i feel old, my ex husband keeps joking about it.
i was crying about it earlier but i feel like i shouldnt.. like i should keep my mouth shut.. "youre only 25" "you still look fine" because im sure being high, sleep deprivation and stress are doing wonders for me.
im worried that its going to get so bad ill refuse to let my bf see me..
i wish i had my moms.... i feel so alone...the ones that are "suppose to love" me care more about their other kids..i just wants hugs/support/for them to tell me its ok and teach me to love myself...who would have thought that was asking for too much.. :'(:'(
 
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S like suicide

S like suicide

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,435
I feel so bad right now that I don't know what to do,I want bang my head on the wall repeatedly....i need my heart to stop beating.
 
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F

Fire

Member
Nov 23, 2023
16
Overwhelming sadness and shame
 
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tiger b

tiger b

AI without the I
Oct 24, 2023
1,236
Really sad. So I'm still so selfish.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,488
Stressed out, worthless, and undesirable. I went to the hospital today to get my bean cut checked out. I didn't originally plan on going to the hospital but I got paranoid about it getting infected so I decided to go. Now I'm worried that they are going to call my parents behind my back.

I also told that older dude who I usually message about the fact that I went to the hospital today but he was more concerned about me sending him more nudes to replace the ones he lost. This was the same man who kept on going on about how he was so in love with me. I never planned on going into a relationship with him. I can barely handle maintaining friendships without getting paranoid that my friends secretly hate me, plus I plan on ctbing.

I know it's pathetic, but I think I've started to have feelings for him. Sadly, my assumption that his supposed love for me was actually just lust was correct. Now my thoughts in regards to myself and how others feel about me have started spiraling out of control. All I can think about is how worthless I am and how nobody who gets to know me truly loves me. I don't have any good qualities. The only reason my family tolerates me is out of a mixture of projection and obligation. They're slowly getting tired of my existence and soon they'll probably end up giving up on me. I wish I had never been born.
 
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K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,091
Just wondering whether I will wake up tomorrow as I am still suffering from the effects of an overdose form yesterday.
 
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asian.neet

asian.neet

Specialist
Oct 13, 2023
307
Not suicidal rn but internally wanting to be dead

Borrrrrrrrrrrrrred asfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
 
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Dangerdonkey333

Dangerdonkey333

Crann Bethadh
Nov 19, 2023
60
Sleepy, like it's time for a nap.
 
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L

leaf23

Specialist
Dec 12, 2020
335
Just saw a socmed post asking the clichéd, 'If you could go back in time and change one thing what would it be?'. I'm selfish; I don't have an ambitious answer that will shake humanity. I just want to prevent my parents from ever getting together and me being born. Save misery from infecting a minimum of 3 people. I'm so done today. I want an accessible off switch.
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,562
Trap this life no sble do any this rly need leave rly rly me no prsn me no thing me 0
 
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K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,091
Cold
 
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