Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Unsure and Useless]

Terrible. I want to stab myself with the knitting needles every time I make a mistake. I want to scream and cry and bang my head against the wall for not getting consistent stitches. I want to keep knitting the same row over and over again even when my fingers are sore and my hands cramp until I get it right. I want to never touch a knitting needle again. I feel ashamed for feeling like such a child. I feel upset that I'm not good at knitting. I feel embarrassed for almost having a panic attack at the sign of failure.

 

[Life_and_Death]

awesome (so much sarcasm)
my back hurts and the only person i can get back rubs from is my manipulative ex husband thats obviously still trying. im getting hxrny thinking about my bf and somehow, i have to not f up...

 

[SleepySept]

Worthless and delusional. I genuinely can't express much in words. I don't think there's anyone in the world that will be capable of handling someone like me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

awesome (so much sarcasm)
my back hurts and the only person i can get back rubs from is my manipulative ex husband thats obviously still trying. im getting hxrny thinking about my bf and somehow, i have to not f up...

literally only needs to do the bottom of my back "id like to do your whole back, its boring in the one spot" its suppose to be boring, youre doing it because im in pain in that spot
to bad i dont want a stranger touching me or id probably just see if my free medical massages is still an option. of course then id have to hear "aint i doing a good enough job". im so tired of listening to him..

 

[loopdaloop]

pissed off that my parents don't respect my wish to ctb. angry that i have to hide my plans from them. paranoid that they might find out and make things a lot worse (again).

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm feeling really shitty right now. I decided to use the time I had between classes to buy some some safety razor blades. I usually cut using a pencil sharpener blade, but I wanted to try something else. I've been feeling shitty since this morning so I decided what better time to test out one of these blades then in the washroom. That was a big mistake. I accidently cut too deep and and a bit of my fat popped out. Now I'm terrified that I'm going to get an infection. I understand it's kind of pathetic, but I've never cut past the stryo before.

 

[asian.neet]

RAGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

[S like Siren]

Crying all night long

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Not good. So tired. Exhaustion. Just want my forever nap. I should not exist. I dread every day.
I hate life.

 

[Life_and_Death]

wishing i had pills to numb emotion...to make me stop loving..stop caring..

i feel like all im hearing is "id prefer it if you didnt.. dont do..change...im uncomfortable with.."
i feel like the only way to make you happy with me is to just sit down and shut up....

i hate bpd...please just let me kill it...

 

[NocturnILL]

I have crazy insomnia and it's making me feel crazy. My eyes burn but I can't sit still. My mind is racing but my heart beats are slow so I am not anxious. At least I don't think idk. I guess I'm a little unstable right now or I'm just sleep deprived . I just want to fall asleep. I'm going to read…if I watch the last episodes of MHA then I'll just be more hyper than my body feels. Errrr this is annoying. Yea I should read…

 

[anxious_depressive]

The guilt is eating me up inside.
I'm nothing.

I have nightmares and I'm exhausted.

 

[tiger b]

jaded

 

[Final_Choice]

Lonely and anxious. I feel so alone, I haven't talked to anyone in days because everyone I know is with their family but I'm just by myself. I feel like I should take this time to relax but I can't, I just feel anxious about life and can't even actually relax.

 

[Life_and_Death]

dreading aging while feeling like im "not allowed to"..
my 25th bday is coming up in about 6mnths. i feel old, my ex husband keeps joking about it.
i was crying about it earlier but i feel like i shouldnt.. like i should keep my mouth shut.. "youre only 25" "you still look fine" because im sure being high, sleep deprivation and stress are doing wonders for me.
im worried that its going to get so bad ill refuse to let my bf see me..
i wish i had my moms.... i feel so alone...the ones that are "suppose to love" me care more about their other kids..i just wants hugs/support/for them to tell me its ok and teach me to love myself...who would have thought that was asking for too much..

 

[S like Siren]

I feel so bad right now that I don't know what to do,I want bang my head on the wall repeatedly....i need my heart to stop beating.

 

[Fire]

Overwhelming sadness and shame

 

[tiger b]

Really sad. So I'm still so selfish.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Stressed out, worthless, and undesirable. I went to the hospital today to get my bean cut checked out. I didn't originally plan on going to the hospital but I got paranoid about it getting infected so I decided to go. Now I'm worried that they are going to call my parents behind my back.

I also told that older dude who I usually message about the fact that I went to the hospital today but he was more concerned about me sending him more nudes to replace the ones he lost. This was the same man who kept on going on about how he was so in love with me. I never planned on going into a relationship with him. I can barely handle maintaining friendships without getting paranoid that my friends secretly hate me, plus I plan on ctbing.

I know it's pathetic, but I think I've started to have feelings for him. Sadly, my assumption that his supposed love for me was actually just lust was correct. Now my thoughts in regards to myself and how others feel about me have started spiraling out of control. All I can think about is how worthless I am and how nobody who gets to know me truly loves me. I don't have any good qualities. The only reason my family tolerates me is out of a mixture of projection and obligation. They're slowly getting tired of my existence and soon they'll probably end up giving up on me. I wish I had never been born.

 

[Kit1]

Just wondering whether I will wake up tomorrow as I am still suffering from the effects of an overdose form yesterday.

 

[asian.neet]

Not suicidal rn but internally wanting to be dead

Borrrrrrrrrrrrrred asfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

 

[Dangerdonkey333]

Sleepy, like it's time for a nap.

 

[leaf23]

Just saw a socmed post asking the clichéd, 'If you could go back in time and change one thing what would it be?'. I'm selfish; I don't have an ambitious answer that will shake humanity. I just want to prevent my parents from ever getting together and me being born. Save misery from infecting a minimum of 3 people. I'm so done today. I want an accessible off switch.

 

[CTB Dream]

Trap this life no sble do any this rly need leave rly rly me no prsn me no thing me 0

 

[Kit1]

Cold

 

[tiger b]

Low

 

[yesil]

it feels like something burns inside me

 

[Life_and_Death]

"id rather be with you"

no you wouldnt..youd rather be financially stable...
I'd rather be with you..
"im gonna get this place and its gonna be mostly paid off"
i do have this place and it is paid off, but i didnt even think about that..i didnt care.. id throw it all away to be with you..

you had a chance to be with me...you decided to not take it.
and it leaves me sitting here wondering what im still fighting for..

 

[leaf23]

It's so unbearably lonely coming home to an empty house. I want to come home to someone

 

[Life_and_Death]

gaslit again, big surprise
you know im with someone else. sorry i didnt let you touch me, but youre being a little obvious about it
"im not gonna fall asleep" *touches me, gets pushed away, gets up* "are you coming back?" "no i was falling asleep"
no you clearly f'en werent!! people dont move the way you did when theyre "falling asleep"

"you dont have to have s*x with me"
and im suppose to just believe that youre gonna be fine with me not? pfft, im just waiting to get kicked out..

for a fucking guy that i have to question how much he cares about me vs himself..
ive been loyal to you since us.... i dont want to be with him but im risking houselessness (seeing that im already homeless) and i really have to question if thats worth it....if having everything stripped from me for someone that wont budge is worth it....

i want to say love is enough....but youve proven its not...i wish i didnt feel the need to hold on. i wish i could let go... i wish i lived in a big city and got accidently caught up in a drive-by...

how are you today?