S
ShadowsFall
Lost and forgotten
- Jul 15, 2021
- 175
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Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.
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I'm not as close to the edge as you right now, but I understand where you're coming from very well.Stuck in a cycle of pain.
I remember how this agony started a year ago. I had never experienced anything like this before and I thought it was a one-time thing.
How wrong I was.
It's just going to get worse, if that's even possible.
I find myself thinking more and more about a date to die. I am falling apart. Everyone is watching, even I am watching myself die. There is no help, only I can help myself break out of this vicious circle by destroying myself. I wish I wasn't forced to do this, but I have no choice. Every day the same shit, the ever increasing pain. At some point I'm going to break. I don't want to die, or at least I don't want to experience it consciously. It will be excruciating and probably pretty terrible, but after that I won't be able to think it's bad. I wish I wasn't alone then. Just once.
That's such a great way to put it. Aside from a few glorious months that may or may not have been a hypomanic episode, I have never in all my life felt like I belonged.My whole life, I've been homesick for a place I could never identify, but in any case, I definitely don't think it's a place in this world – and God knows I've certainly tried to find it.