Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

small, unneeded, broken, not valid, suicidal after my "sperm donor" told me to CTB

 

[Daxter_87]

I feel like crappy crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. And shitty, very shitty. I would scream in this comment, but there's no way to do such a thing other than to type: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

You told us not to think, just write, and this babble of mine is the result.

 

[fearandloathing183]

Anxiety. About life, about losing my job and relationship, about whether I'm capable of amounting to anything, about whether the voice in my head will ever shut the fuck up.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sooooooo exhausted. Wishing I could fall over dead.

 

[Unattainable666]

Overwhelmingly sad

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

Angry at myself for feeling dysphoric over what normal people would think is nothing. Also I long to get back together with my ex which is pathetic because I broke it off.

 

[HonestAbe]

Severely nervous and detached.

 

[roboteulogy]

just wanna be gone, there's nothing here for me. i'd never outlive this curse.

weighing my options and thinking about how it'd make my mom and friends feel. at points i feel like none of it matters because i'd be dead anyway but i really don't want to make people sad

i don't even know if it matters. i give them a week until they move on. who knows what really happens.

and i'm here because i don't want to depress my friend about shit none of us have control over. i can't and don't want to do anything. everything is pointless. all i can do is scream

 

[CTB Dream]

This life no meann only lose now lose brain lose all stay this life v awfl wat do nothin rly need escp

 

[vitbar]

Anxious and out of sorts. Disconnected. While waiting to start work I'm wishing I could go home. Alienated and lonely.

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

Headache. Feeling weird, pseudo nausea. Kinda like motion sickness because I used the PC for too long

A message sent to my sister

No whatsapp + a messy home/room made it real easy to feel like isolation again, not gonna lie
Losing the phone also made habit keeping harder, constantly late on meds, staying awake until 5
Spending my days mostly on GC really (and, again, went back to Runescape).

Ugh...

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

Cowardly
Anger
Guilty

I feel like a Coward because why can't I just kill myself
It's east right
People do it everyday
But the fear of failing terrifies me
And that brings me to anger
Angry that I have to kill myself in order to die
I don't get to die with peace and dignity because mental illness isn't real
What's happened to me in my life isn't real and doesn't matter
So I'm trapped
I really thought about trying to find someone who can get on the dark web to help me
But I can't ask that like a normal question because I could get locked up and lose all I have
Guilty because how can i believe in god but ask him to let me die
My mind tells me he understands why I'm this way and I wont be punished
But my mind also tells me that why cant I be healed or just die like I planned years ago
How long do I have to live a life I don't want

I really don't know how much longer I can wait to ctb. I'm not prepared to but often think about going into the worst parts of town and finding fentanyl to use. Or, for all I care someone can shoot, stab or kill me any way they'd like.
I'm always in pain, depressed and anxious and lately crying a lot. I absolutely hate crying because I always get a sinus headache from it. Today I got a work email that made me want to resign immediately and instead all I could do was fucking cry. So pathetic

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So tired...
A little depression...
Exhaustion...
Hatred for people who fucked me over...
Just ready for this life to end...

 

[natthebrat]

Terrified about the near future as well as dreading it. Frustrated at everyone who tries to discourage me from ctb and angry at my parents who brought me into this shit life in the first place.

 

[JustAGuy]

Y'ever type out a paragraph, realize it's starting to getting emotional and then clear everything out, yeah I feel like that answers the question

 

[my endless blue]

guilty, longing, fear for the future, disgust for the past, inferiority complex, prison of my own head

 

[outatime_85]

I have no self-worth and no connection to anyone, and my family has written me off.

I am just an outsider to them; they do not care what happens to me.

Nothing is going to change the brokenness that is my life.

I am destined to be a statistic; my fate is either turning out my lights or being on the street.

My miserable existence is coming to an end, and I will have two final choices to make.

It is frightening when one can clearly see that the game is over, that their life is slowly ending, and that life becomes freeing and pointless all at once.

I think I am just at a point where I want my pain to end and not be a burden to anyone.

Sorry for my incoherent and rambling thoughts.

 

[Zegers]

Im goign out lately to clubs, the experience is not being good but atleast i go somewhere

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Insomnia...
Dread...
Anxiety...
Exhaustion...
Depression...
Hated...
No Friends...

 

[Seaghost]

Slept only a few hours. Red eyes.
I'm so exhausted fucking fuck fuck.
So its not possible to recover

 

[CTB Dream]

This wrld rly trbl only sffr not know wat do, all day no end sffr pain ,not even know wat say

 

[superb-owl]

Betrayed
Loneliness
Abandoned

 

[Rocinante]

Fatigued. I constantly feel tired and am forgetting everything

 

[Shatteredhearts824]

Empty, wasted, and ultimately finished.

I'm sick of life, and I simply want to dive off of a bridge.

 

[deadtrace]

Like an empty shell. Keep remembering stuff like deadlines I have that I can't meet, reasons I hate myself, etc. But i can't do anyrhing. I just lay here doing nothing not moving not feeling anything. Honestly I'd rather be outright depressed again instead of this.

 

[Daxter_87]

Cansado de otra gente, cansado de mí mismo, cansado de todas las cosas de este mundo. Simplemente resulta que un desafortunado día fui concebido, ahora estoy aquí, haciendo no sé exactamente el qué, y así será hasta que la parca me lleve consigo.

Como se puede apreciar, ni siquiera me he molestado en traducir este comentario al inglés, y es que tan falto de energía me encuentro que hasta eso me da pereza. Blah, bleh, bloh.

 

[sammiechzxv]

Not good. I have a lot to think about and I feel nauseous.

 

[Seaghost]

Fucked by the senior Doctor in rehab. What an asshole. Gave me the tipp of get into completely assisted living. Feels like getting deported.
Gave me a wonderful headcrash.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I am just so tired of it all, both the big problems and the small mundane annoyances. Keep wishing that something would kill me, but I doubt that's going to happen since all I do is stay inside.

 

[KAZ-2Y5]

Lost. I want to be needed I want to be useful to people and loved unconditionally. I want love. I want love. I want love. I want God to give me answers bc he hasn't spoken with me in so long. I want God to give me answers.