Venting To me it feels like the forum went downhill

[4everDone]

@FuneralCry just change your style and try to listen what people who you trust want to tell you. You are already known so just make another post where you you promise to change and just carry on. Don't make it any worse for yourself. The forum will not be the same if you're gone.

 

[letsgetittogo]

@FuneralCry maybe you should quit browsing this forum if it is too "mainstream" for you. You are literally advocating for a death cult in which noone is allowed to disagree with you. Everyone who dares to question your "indisputable truth" is called a pro-lifer. If this forum is that bad and meaningless why are you still visiting it. Genuinely why do you visit this forum if it only worsens your suffering? Your rhetoric and ideology becomes more and more extreme the more people disagree with your "objective, undienable reality". If you repeat your message like a thousand times I might recommend to read this post I dedicated to your behahvior once I put a lot of work into it. Your behavior becomes more and more aggressive and toxic. This community won't fulfil your wish to disobey your notion of intersubjective reality. I only post it one more time but your narrative has to be questioned and debunked. If your opinion is that her takes are part of freedom of speech then I will argument that mine criticism is also part of freespeech. There is no right not to be criticized but seemingly some people don't understand that.

I have thought a lot about FuneralCry recently. The thread where she claimed this forum was pro-life and too mainstream let me question her role in this forum even more. Someone mentioned he gets suicide fetishism vibes of her. And honestly to some extent I get them too. I have written the following post some time ago. I weighed up the pros and cons of posting it. This might be the first and maybe last time I will leave my remarks on her. The thread here is not the main problem. There are many valid reasons for criticizing the suicide prevention regulations. However her whole and sole role in this forum just seems off and this thread adds up to it. I don't really think she is an evil person but she is not really aware of something. The following post is not written to insult her but will probably be perceived as such:


First, I wanted to post an own thread for this topic. However I don't want to add much more drama to the controversy surrounding FuneralCry. So far I barely commented on FuneralCry in this forum. She always treated me fairly. I often had the feeling we had some sort of peace agreement. In my mind I called it jokingly the Hitler-Stalin Pact. If you find that inappropriate we could call it Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. I think we know each other well enough that we have quite some differences regarding our beliefs. She is often the sole person that tries to comfort people who barely receive messages in their threads. A couple of times this applied to my threads. She is popular among some people I like. And I always was scared to make me some enemies with posting my opinion on her. And it felt unthankful to do so because she was replying to my threads when no one else did.


I posted several threads in recovery to help people in their recovery and for quite some times I was scared to be called pro-lifer for that. Also for portraying suicide as a decision of last resort. I don't think my post on her will change much. So why am I still posting it? I also had a guilty conscience not to comment on her because I fear that some (not a few) of her posts can be harmful to others. I had this feeling for quite some time. But I don't know how to address it. I think the behavior is sort of pathological (because of her autism) and I know well enough that pathologies can be quite strong if not almost unbeatable. I think an intervention (with arguments) won't change that much. It similar to my ruminating or posting myriads of threads. It rather seems to polarize the debate to criticize her. I am not sure whether to talk about her in third person or second person is the right thing. I am not sure whether she will read this. So I will talk about her in third person. I think she rather gets reinforced in her beliefs if people criticize her especially if there are sometimes offensive jokes about her posted. Still I think it is sort of my duty to address my issues. In my opinion sometimes the polemic about her gets way too much and targets her as a person. However, if one considers the damage she might cause with her posts one could call such jokes rather harmless if we weigh the impact of these actions. I had a guilty conscience for not speaking up against some of her behavior. But as I already depicted it there were also a lot of ambivalences.

I am also not sure whether it is better to wait to post this post until the big fuss is over. Or whether if I post it in some weeks it will just fuel the controversy again to later time point. My intent is not to insult her and I will try to spare as much polemic as possible.



FuneralCry is pro-death. And there is no way around that fact. We also don't necessarily need to talk terms because the terms themselves are rather meaningless. But she emphasized that she thinks pro-mortalism is the right thing and well that is just another term for being pro-death. I think it is okay to be pro-mortalism if you know the boundaries. It is okay to have that mindset for your own life (in my opinion). But if you apply that logic to the lives of others it can become delicate. The territory can be quite dangerous. The big problem I have with FuneralCry is the following: there is a discrepancy between the way she thinks about her own suicide and about the suicide of others. If you want to make this point she labels you pro-life. Which sort of shows that such labels get weaponized which is in itself a problem. There are also people defending her if one makes that point. And they argue this implied to encourage her to commit suicide. I certainly don't want to encourage her to commit suicide. I would even recommend to her not to commit suicide and see it as a way of last resort. However, doing this with more arguments would be called pro-life by her because this is the suicide discussion. And this shows how absurd this argument is. To point that out does not encourage her to commit suicide usually. There were some encouragements in this context though and I think I and/or others reported them.

I think logic will not convince her. But I still try it. FC says her SI is too strong to commit suicide, further that there are no safe methods, that the access to lethal and secure methods is way too restricted. And thus she is not able to commit suicide which she otherwise would do. Personally I just have the feeling in the future when many people in this forum have committed suicide she still will be here complaining that suicide is too difficult and that the access has to get easier. It feels wrong. Because the standards for her own life and the lives of others is so different. I also don't take everything she says at face value. She sounds scared about suicide. Me too, I can relate to that. Many things can go wrong. But this applies to (almost) everyone in this forum. We are all sort of scared to mess it up and be in a worse position afterwards if we fail. But the concerns you have about your own life applies also to others. Others also battle with SI. Others also can fail and end up way worse than before. Others are also anxious as fuck. To express you admire people who find the courage to do it feels just wrong. Especially if you have so different standards for your own life. It pretty much feels like projecting your own wish to die on others. It feels like she finds relief in the notion that others commit suicide or die. And that feels very questionable. Others have their own ethical beliefs and that is fine. Others can value (their) life and see suicide as something to avoid as good as possible. One could also argue about her behavior to call her opinions straight facts but I think this is not the main issue with her behavior.


As others pointed out. Her behavior makes us look like a death cult. Especially because the media loves to point at the bad apples of this community. I think it is very positive that FC's behavior gets questioned. But I think many comments are too personal and sort of offensive. Moreover it is absurd to call this website pro-life just because others criticize you.


I will end it here. Not sure when I will post this post. I will wait for the right time point. I think a single thread about one certain member is usually not appreciated. However, the discussion about FC is bigger than anything else about a single member in this forum

My favorite post In this thread, you've worded it perfectly.

 

[R_N]

I try to give you the benefit of the doubt especially considering the forum we're on, I have no issue with you personally or your worldview, but it seriously drives me up the fucking wall whenever you complain about people not being "suicidal enough" to be here

Talking about how there's too many people "desperate for attention" and too many "bored" people here? Really? Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah gatekeeping is bad, and I am sure most of us initially came here researching methods to ctb anyway. I know I did back in the day. But I saw this place is more than that soon after and there is nothing wrong with that imo.

Also, isn't everyone here for attention to some extent? FC should understand that with her amount of engagement. Sure maybe she vents more than anything but why vent to others then? Because you want their reaction and that itself is craving of sorts and need for someones attention.

And nothing wrong with that, we are all humans at the end of the day.

 

[february in alaska]

Yeah gatekeeping is bad, and I am sure most of us initially came here researching methods to ctb anyway. I know I did back in the day. But I saw this place is more than that soon after and there is nothing wrong with that imo.

Also, isn't everyone here for attention to some extent? FC should understand that with her amount of engagement. Sure maybe she vents more than anything but why vent to others then? Because you want their reaction and that itself is craving of sorts and need for someone else's attention.

And nothing wrong with that, we are all humans at the end of the day.

Exactly. Same reason I despise the "oh, they're just doing it for attention" response when a kid is self harming or some shit. Like, it doesn't matter whether or not they want attention. Some people do want attention, AKA they want someone to finally see them and sympathize and understand how much pain they're in

Same with people being "too bored". I imagine a lot of us are literally just wasting away in our real lives and this is the only place we can talk to others

 

[4everDone]

I'm saying it just for fun, please don't take it seriously but I think @FuneralCry is an AI created by mods to spark up some controversial topics lol

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Like I don't know if it's dying but it sure feels that way to me especially as lot of the time it doesn't even seem to work these days. But I feel like one of the ways it went downhill is that rather than it being full of suicidal people it seems to be full of bored people desperate for attention, to me it feels like they are begging for attention with how they spam the forum with random things and this just causes all the suffering people's vents to be buried. And yet if you use it to actually vent about your wish to die you just get hated on and insulted for it which is just great, totally makes this place feel like a "safe space", there's so much hypocrisy.

You're not more important than other people on here though, they have just as much right to post as you do, even if it's burying your 20th thread about how much the forum sucks now. You actually share a similar view to pro-lifers in that you think all suicidal people should only act a certain way and vent about life being nothing but suffering and how death is the only answer. No one hates on you because you personally wish to die, it's the way you post saying suicide is "self-care", that anyone who wants to live is delusional and try and suggest people shouldn't EVER try and talk someone out of CTB even if it's a terrible method or will traumatise other people.

Why are you SO invested in what other people do?! It's very odd, and not what the vast majority of people are here for I imagine-which would be to find our own method or get support for our own situation from people who feel similar, and in return to try and support others. You have made it very clear you have no intention of CTB anytime soon because it's simply too hard for you (which is completely fair enough) so you must be here for another reason-but being so invested in what other people do on here to the point you are actively trying to discourage people from being "pro-life" (by your definition but probably no one else's) does raise some questions and possible red flags.

 

[cupcakesandmilk]

Welp, this thread is gonna get locked pretty soon. Just saying that I was here lmao.

 

[divinemistress36]

I think it's valuable that SaSu has prolific promortalists — certainly helps me & people I know. Too bad the OP took a swipe at people bound to take it personally: "to me it feels like they are begging for attention". Thus predictably unleashing the clusterfuck


As you'd maybe agree, any effective discussion must have defenses against attacks; they're not free-for-alls. For example, religious evangelism's inappropriate for a math forum. Pro-lifer messages are typically inappropriate on suicide subforum — but! — appropriate for recovery subforum. And anyway, prolifers dominate the rest of the internet; they have no shortage of free speech


Guess it's fair to share this opinion, since the the OP alleges people are "begging for attention" — without evidence. (Using a "venting" label doesn't = free ticket)

And since we're all teeing off on each other... :P

Is it just me, or is the Recovery subforum depressing af? Most act clingy to life — no wonder life treats them with such disdain! I must "recover" well enough to act morally & effectively in life — but that place is like Normie School, pumping out NPCs. I post there if I feel I might help OPs, but I feel like a demon walking into a church

Here, at least people interrogate existence to justify the time we waste in it. Asking the right questions imo

The recovery section is more depressing than the suicide forum

 

[Dliena]

Here before the lock.

 

[singularity3]

Bueno, este hilo se cerrará muy pronto. Solo digo que estuve aquí lmao

LMAO

 

[Judah]

Welp, this thread is gonna get locked pretty soon. Just saying that I was here lmao.

In that case I will say a couple of things that I think
@FuneralCry , most of the posts do not exactly fit the purpose of this forum, it feels like you are trying to pigeonhole people or inject them with your negativity at all costs, ignoring how the user might feel or think, there is only one way and that is this aspect the one that makes many users here disagree with you
The majority of users here do not have to commit suicide once they log in, many people, including me, see this site as a help to move forward or at least bear our burdens, plus others feel that this is the only place where we can fit in.

The problem is that all this time you have behaved as if the forum were pro-suicide, I don't want to offend you in any way, but I think it's good that you think a little about what I just said

 

[WhatPowerIs]

From your mouth to God's ears. The worst and most hypocritical part is the chat, in my opinion. A bunch of people complaining how bad they feel, constantly, somethimes every 10 minutes...... I just cannot take that seriously, I m sorry.
And I m sure that the people who complain the most are not the ones who are gonna kill themselves. They just do it for the sake of complainig.... maybe some kind of hobby, I don't know. Anyway, it is a very annoying development.

What a nonsensical post. You're getting upset that people want to have a space where they can vent freely? Mind your own business.

 

[girlsboysthems]

i usually just ignore their comments and move on. being stuck in that loop is tragic and the more you pay attention to it, the worser it is.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Déjà vu.

This site became too mainstream and pro-life

This site feels like it’s filled with pro-lifers now and feels like it became too mainstream which is why to me it’s not the “safe space” that others like to label it as. Sadly pro-lifers just seem to be everywhere in this society, sadly if you don’t believe in forcing “help” onto suicidal...

sanctioned-suicide.net

To me it feels like the forum went downhill

Like I don’t know if it’s dying but it sure feels that way to me especially as lot of the time it doesn’t even seem to work these days. But I feel like one of the ways it went downhill is that rather than it being full of suicidal people it seems to be full of bored people desperate for...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Feels like this forum is no different to anywhere else now

This site really has just went downhill, it’s sad how the only place suicidal people have to vent and discuss suicide openly is filled with pro-lifers and insensitive people. I’m sorry but some of us come on here as we want to vent about our wish to die and it doesn’t mean we want to be lectured...

sanctioned-suicide.net

To me it was better when this site only had suicidal people on it

Now it attracts pro-lifers and people with toxic positivity pushing the idea of “help”, I’m sorry but other people’s wish to die is absolutely nothing to do with you, like if you love something so cruel and futile as existence so much then just go and enjoy it. People come here to escape from...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I feel like this forum became too mainstream

Because a while back people would had mostly found it through researching suicide online so the people on the site would be those who want to die themselves, but due to the site being featured on YouTube, people found it who otherwise wouldn’t. So now instead of the suicide discussion being a...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Feels like this site is going downhill recently

Which is why I especially despise how methods like Nembutal aren’t legalised, it’s so disgusting how we are denied the right to cease existing in peace whenever we wish to and instead there is just this website which doesn’t really function properly. And as well as that it seems to be becoming...

sanctioned-suicide.net

The forum is dead now which just makes me want to ctb even more

I just wanted to say thank you for deleting and destroying the forum, the site is useless and dead now. I spent a lot of time venting on the forum but now it’s all gone. I thought this was a place for suicidal people to vent but I guess not anymore, it’s all dead and deleted, I bet having this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Main forum has felt like it’s changed a lot.

I know that this thread is pointless really, but it’s just felt like the suicide discussion section has changed a lot, it seems to be full of posts that have barely anything to do with suicide, there’s too many troll posts and people just using it to post about random things, it means that all...

sanctioned-suicide.net

one of the rules is "dont spam", does this not count??

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

I'm saying it just for fun, please don't take it seriously but I think @FuneralCry is an AI created by mods to spark up some controversial topics

A proof that this is the case is that this user never replies back...lol she just vent the same repettive message and then disapears and write a new thread. infinite loop, an AI created to annoy people lol

 

[Loserhero]

I don't know how any of you genuinely engage with @FuneralCry all of her posts are just copy and paste she's just trying to increase post count. I lurk this place daily there is alot more low effort posts than 3-4 months ago though.

 

[4everDone]

A proof that this is the case is that this user never replies back...lol she just vent the same repettive message and then disapears and write a new thread. infinite loop, an AI created to annoy people lol

Exactly my thoughts. I've never seen her writing a response to an argument or just in general never past the first message lol

 

[Captive_Mind515]

The recovery section is more depressing than the suicide forum

I'm gonna waltz on over to the recovery section, and inform them that they're being too positive about life… stop promoting living in such an obviously biased manner! Don't you know we're "pro-choice" around here!? Have some respect for other people's views!

 

[Judah]

A proof that this is the case is that this user never replies back...lol she just vent the same repettive message and then disapears and write a new thread. infinite loop, an AI created to annoy people lol

Is possible that FC does not exist and is an invention of the government

 

[breezeboy]

Goddamn.. feel like I just witnessed a verbal murder.

Buried the body and pissed on the grave type murder

 

[GuylumBardot]

Well yeah, all the users you originally made friends with have either CTB or recovered and left lol

 

[divinemistress36]

I'm gonna waltz on over to the recovery section, and inform them that they're being too positive about life… stop promoting living in such an obviously biased manner! Don't you know we're "pro-choice" around here!? Have some respect for other people's views!

My dark soul can't handle the optimism

 

[BorderlineChellery]

As a new member I see things like this and it makes me not want to comment or ask questions. It makes me feel unsure of what is ok to ask or if I should just loiter in the background and figure things out for myself

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

Like I don't know if it's dying but it sure feels that way to me especially as lot of the time it doesn't even seem to work these days. But I feel like one of the ways it went downhill is that rather than it being full of suicidal people it seems to be full of bored people desperate for attention, to me it feels like they are begging for attention with how they spam the forum with random things and this just causes all the suffering people's vents to be buried. And yet if you use it to actually vent about your wish to die you just get hated on and insulted for it which is just great, totally makes this place feel like a "safe space", there's so much hypocrisy.

And another way it's went downhill is how now it's a place for deluded pro-lifers to post about how mentally ill all suicidal people are, and it's sad how this place became so pro-life but anyway whatever, those who hate on suicidal people who vent really are so arrogant, I know they only do it just to feel better about themselves, I can tell that some people really love trying to make others feel bad.

Many of us literally want to die we certainly don't want to be lectured by hostile pro-lifers or be given so called "advice" that is just delusional and invalidates suffering, honestly it's just so cringe when they do that. I wish this place only was for those who want to die, bored people and pro-lifers should just go and enjoy their wonderful, precious life and leave those who suffer alone. So yes, this site really did became too mainstream and if often reminds me of how I cannot stand this human species, humans are such a disgusting species and it's tragic how they haven't gone voluntarily extinct yet, in fact it's tragic how life even exists at all, no matter what only non-existence could ever be desirable.

Considering it's been 4 years and you have 32k posts. I don't want to be mean, but it is hypocritical to call others bored and attention seeking.

You want to die, but that's a feeling. It's not based on a logic. You're still here in the forums after 4 years. Have you considered that it's not logical without having spent at least $20k out of pocket (a rounded minimum actuarial value) on your mental health before suiciding. There's quite literally nothing lost.

 

[Life_and_Death]

As a new member I see things like this and it makes me not want to comment or ask questions. It makes me feel unsure of what is ok to ask or if I should just loiter in the background and figure things out for myself

use the ignore button for people that cause you problems/make you uncomfortable. not everyone here is that way and i hope it doesnt make you not want to interact (although id completely understand if it did, not this specific person/type of thing but similar has caused me to make less of my own threads)

what is ok to ask

as far as whats ok to ask just follow the rules and you shouldnt have a problem

 

[EvisceratedJester]

As a new member I see things like this and it makes me not want to comment or ask questions. It makes me feel unsure of what is ok to ask or if I should just loiter in the background and figure things out for myself

Dude, don't listen to them. They are always complaining about this forum "going downhill". Just ignore them and make as many posts and comments as you wish.

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

Like I don't know if it's dying but it sure feels that way to me especially as lot of the time it doesn't even seem to work these days. But I feel like one of the ways it went downhill is that rather than it being full of suicidal people it seems to be full of bored people desperate for attention, to me it feels like they are begging for attention with how they spam the forum with random things and this just causes all the suffering people's vents to be buried. And yet if you use it to actually vent about your wish to die you just get hated on and insulted for it which is just great, totally makes this place feel like a "safe space", there's so much hypocrisy.

And another way it's went downhill is how now it's a place for deluded pro-lifers to post about how mentally ill all suicidal people are, and it's sad how this place became so pro-life but anyway whatever, those who hate on suicidal people who vent really are so arrogant, I know they only do it just to feel better about themselves, I can tell that some people really love trying to make others feel bad.

Many of us literally want to die we certainly don't want to be lectured by hostile pro-lifers or be given so called "advice" that is just delusional and invalidates suffering, honestly it's just so cringe when they do that. I wish this place only was for those who want to die, bored people and pro-lifers should just go and enjoy their wonderful, precious life and leave those who suffer alone. So yes, this site really did became too mainstream and if often reminds me of how I cannot stand this human species, humans are such a disgusting species and it's tragic how they haven't gone voluntarily extinct yet, in fact it's tragic how life even exists at all, no matter what only non-existence could ever be desirable.

I forgot that she said things like this which seems like pot, kettle, black
Sasu is a community and although we're all gonna be occasionally selfish/insensitive to a point (a friend on here told me to fuck off for instance due to a bad day) because of the nature of this site, we still appreciate and try to care for eachother so that things like this might seem stupid to you but not others (just like a lot of other things). I'm autistic and I have ADHD and it ruins my life but even on here I've learnt to change my behaviour and things I say.

Post in thread 'Why are some people putting their actual picture as their profile pic?' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ture-as-their-profile-pic.152474/post-2359139

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

As a new member I see things like this and it makes me not want to comment or ask questions. It makes me feel unsure of what is ok to ask or if I should just loiter in the background and figure things out for myself

Welcome to Limbo. Ask forgiveness not permission. Just looked at your messages, that feeling like there's a hole and some part of you is missing and don't have a reason, that's depression. If it's been around for longer than 2yrs it's dysthymia. Both are usually treatable.

 

[BorderlineChellery]

use the ignore button for people that cause you problems/make you uncomfortable. not everyone here is that way and i hope it doesnt make you not want to interact (although id completely understand if it did, not this specific person/type of thing but similar has caused me to make less of my own threads)

as far as whats ok to ask just follow the rules and you shouldnt have a problem

Dude, don't listen to them. They are always complaining about this forum "going downhill". Just ignore them and make as many posts and comments as you wish.

Thank you, really appreciate this. I'll try to come out of my shell a bit more

 

[Katdogg]

As a new member I see things like this and it makes me not want to comment or ask questions. It makes me feel unsure of what is ok to ask or if I should just loiter in the background and figure things out for myself

I'm new here. Don't let this thread stop you from engaging. Unless you're posting deliberately inflammatory stuff... people are quite thoughtful and understanding i have found ( for the most part).