Venting I feel like this forum became too mainstream

[FuneralCry]

Because a while back people would had mostly found it through researching suicide online so the people on the site would be those who want to die themselves, but due to the site being featured on YouTube, people found it who otherwise wouldn't.

So now instead of the suicide discussion being a place solely for those who want to die it now seems to very often attract people with a suicide preventionist agenda who try to push "help" when it wasn't asked for rather than respecting the decision to die or just validating the person's feelings.
And also it attracts people who label anything in support of suicide as "pro-death" even know nobody is being told they must die on here.
So while I'm glad there's still this place to vent about hating existing, it does feel like the sites changed a bit and this is a result of it becoming more mainstream, even at times the suicide discussion does feel like a discussion about everything with many threads not even somehow related to the subject of suicide or wanting to die at all.

Where in the past only suicidal people with maybe a few exceptions would have found it, now the suicide discussion seems to attract many people who only want to discuss self harm often meaning that threads about the actual subject of suicide, like people wanting answers to method questions often just get buried.

I wish the suicide discussion was a place reserved solely for those who really want to die but anyway like I said at least people can still vent about this subject in what is otherwise such a anti-choice society.
I will always be disgusted by anything that is pro-life, as death truly is the only relief in this cruel and futile existence.

 

[SilentSadness]

I know what you mean, I think the more people that join a community, the worse it gets overall.

 

[february in alaska]

I don't know if I'm in a place to say this seeing as I've only been here since September and I found this site through said YouTube feature :')

But I think there will always be a debate around suicide, because even for suicidal people, not everyone has the same opinion. I know suicidal people who actively try to help others into recovery, I know suicidal people who think everyone is better off dead, people who are only suicidal due to their health/financial situations, people who want to have a CTB partner.... this is a place where we can discuss anything related to suicide, and since we all have different viewpoints, I think to some extent "debate" is a natural part of that

For only being here a few months, I've found this site to be the most pro-choice forum yet and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I'm glad to have somewhere I can be genuine and not dance around hotline numbers and people telling me it gets better and all that bullshit. But I'm also glad this place isn't an echo chamber of people straight up encouraging others to CTB, and I think it's important to keep it that way

 

[dreamingofrest]

I don't know if I'm in a place to say this seeing as I've only been here since September and I found this site through said YouTube feature :')

But I think there will always be a debate around suicide, because even for suicidal people, not everyone has the same opinion. I know suicidal people who actively try to help others into recovery, I know suicidal people who think everyone is better off dead, people who are only suicidal due to their health/financial situations, people who want to have a CTB partner.... this is a place where we can discuss anything related to suicide, and since we all have different viewpoints, I think to some extent "debate" is a natural part of that

For only being here a few months, I've found this site to be the most pro-choice forum yet and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I'm glad to have somewhere I can be genuine and not dance around hotline numbers and people telling me it gets better and all that bullshit. But I'm also glad this place isn't an echo chamber of people straight up encouraging others to CTB, and I think it's important to keep it that way

I agree with all of this! I think different perspectives are a part of any healthy community. Everyone's going to have different perspectives… that's just human.

 

[loopdaloop]

honestly I just kinda miss old faces of people who knew their own methods really well and had informative posts

 

[hi-okbye]

i agree it can be a bit frustrating to see a community change, but i guess it'll always happen at one point or another. i'm just glad we still have the space.

 

[Worndown]

When you decide to die, that is based on your circumstances at that time, as you see them.
Here, you meet people that have been in that same situation. We share and sometimes have a different view of someones problem or situation. We offer advice based on our experience or knowledge. Sometimes to ease their exit, sometimes to give them unseen options to recoverery.
If we limited outselves to only discuss death, we would be as much a pariah as those only promoting life.
This is a full service site. Here, you get honest discussion, whatever the outcome.

 

[lalius]

Every sub cultural community is subject to the same phenomenon. It has bad aspect like the one you mentioned, but it also has good aspect as more different point of view will nourish minds on this forum.

I mean if someone get to change his point of view about ctb, that is a good thing. That person may have a lack of argument to justify wanting to die that have been fulfilled. Evolution and changes in one's mind is always a good thing.

On the other hand these prolifes arguments may have the opposite effect. In fact for me, each prolifes' message motivates me more and more to ctb as they are mostly exposing what isn't logical in humanity's behavior.

Everything evolves, "life" always find its way. We only can adapt

 

[BlazingBob]

Too many fixers now. I thought that's what the recovery section is for. I'm going to ctb. I'm the only who truly knows my circumstances. The 'have you tried x, y, or z' type statements piss me off. I don't want help or advice. If I did I be in the recovery section.

 

[pampxxie]

this post is absolutely agreeable. i wish it was how it used to be when it wasn't all over news articles and youtube videos.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Because a while back people would had mostly found it through researching suicide online so the people on the site would be those who want to die themselves, but due to the site being featured on YouTube, people found it who otherwise wouldn't.

So now instead of the suicide discussion being a place solely for those who want to die it now seems to very often attract people with a suicide preventionist agenda who try to push "help" when it wasn't asked for rather than respecting the decision to die or just validating the person's feelings.
And also it attracts people who label anything in support of suicide as "pro-death" even know nobody is being told they must die on here.
So while I'm glad there's still this place to vent about hating existing, it does feel like the sites changed a bit and this is a result of it becoming more mainstream, even at times the suicide discussion does feel like a discussion about everything with many threads not even somehow related to the subject of suicide or wanting to die at all.

Where in the past only suicidal people with maybe a few exceptions would have found it, now the suicide discussion seems to attract many people who only want to discuss self harm often meaning that threads about the actual subject of suicide, like people wanting answers to method questions often just get buried.

I wish the suicide discussion was a place reserved solely for those who really want to die but anyway like I said at least people can still vent about this subject in what is otherwise such a anti-choice society.
I will always be disgusted by anything that is pro-life, as death truly is the only relief in this cruel and futile existence.

Thank you FuneralCry. This site has changed even in the short period of time that I have been on here. I am definitely suicidal and most likely by the end of December. There was a solid group of members that I could bounce ideas off of. The posts used to be mainly about attempting or methods. Now it is just random stuff. I'm even guilty of posting random stuff just to feel like I'm part of something. I prefer just pure suicidal talk, but I guess beggars can't be choosers.

 

[DT2007]

It's difficult. Mainstream? I don't ff
feel or see that. Yes it's easier to find maybe but is that a bad thing? In every forum you find people that "don't belong" there. I found SaSu while researching methods and only learned afterwards that there is a youtuber who gave it a wider public. Also here in germany and in denmark SaSu has not been subject to mainstream news yet, therefor it depends on where you live, how you receive the publicity, wanted or unwanted. I didn't read much from "Pro-lifers" on this forum nor did i meet anyone on here that fits that category. But I'm not mega touchy about the subject of help when help is not wanted. One can just ignore it.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I wish the suicide discussion was a place reserved solely for those who really want to die but

How sincere would you have to be to qualify? Ambivalence and grief over one's life are common in suicidal people.

 

[cupcakesandmilk]

Maybe I just miss them every time or I'm just not active enough, but during all my time on this forum (even before I made an account), I never saw any pro-life people on here that seemingly everyone seems to talk about. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Forever Sleep]

I know you hate anything positive but I suspect- if it was all entirely pro-suicide, it would be much more likely to be closed down all together. Being an open, public forum that encourages free speech- you will get disagreements. If we all said the same thing- I think that would look more like a cult.

Ideation is complex too. Some people may find their thoughts intrusive. They may still feel unable to communicate them elsewhere considering how heavy handed our society is with regards to suicide but they still need to express them somewhere. Perhaps they do even want to fight them- so, may welcome help and support. I agree that the recovery section is maybe more appropriate for that kind of thing but- when they are new, they won't know that. Same goes for more random topics like self harm which probably should go in off topic. At the start though, newer members don't know that. I see so many newer members apologizing that they might be posting in the wrong section. Isn't it worse to make people feel afraid of posting than to just gently nudge them towards the appropriate section?

We're bound to get the odd 'do-gooder' come on here to try and 'save' some people. Probably you're right that this amount has increased since the release of things like that Tantacrul YouTube video. Still- the most millitant ones usually get banned pretty fast. Plus- it's really up to the OP on how they feel about the responses they get to their thread. If it troubles them- they will often tell the person to push off and they ought to take the hint but ultimately- it's up to them- whether they feel annoyed by it.

I'm not so sure this place could be kept as open as it is without welcoming all people who want to talk about suicide. Personally- I find that a good thing. I think if it was only pro-mortalists on here, it would very much look like a death cult. People sometimes come here because they're not entirely sure how they feel. If everyone had the same nihilistic, promortalist rhetoric- I don't know how helpful that would be. Not to say they should be given shallow platitudes but in reality- someone like that wouldn't even be admissible in your ideal forum. I actually think you might prefer it if it was a death cult to be honest but- that's unlikely to happen legally. I expect this place is on thin ice as it is. Things like the recovery section and the odd pro-life do-gooder here and there may be the price needed to keep it running.

 

[Mäximum]

Maybe I just miss them every time or I'm just not active enough, but during all my time on this forum (even before I made an account), I never saw any pro-life people on here that everyone seems to talk about. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah, I notice the same thing. Every time I look through posts I find interesting, I never see any comments from pro-life accounts. Maybe one or two since I joined, but you quickly forget about them. At least I do.

 

[Nanako]

I'll come across a pro-life weirdo in here every once in a while but not often.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Maybe I just miss them every time or I'm just not active enough, but during all my time on this forum (even before I made an account), I never saw any pro-life people on here that seemingly everyone seems to talk about. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That's because OP's criteria for being a "pro-lifer" are extraordinarily broad.

 

[girlsboysthems]

thats why I mostly lounge and check the suicide forum once in a while. Im really fucking annoyed by new people that come and are just like how do i kill myself? like tf, no one is going to tell you how. its really fucking illegal to do that too.

 

[NoIdeaForAUsername]

i dont like that criticism is not allowed on a forum that is supposed to be some sort a resistance against this kind of false posititivity that you find on google when you write "how to kill myself" and you see only tons of "dont kill yourself" garbage.

What i mean is that i cannot hate anyone here even if that person is really a complete cunt, i cannot even criticise to not have my message deleted and be warned with message like: "we dont judge here", which is basicly a hypocrisy because its all fine when we judge and even insult people that are against suicide.

I find FuneralCity user one of the most frustrating people that are being here. He is basicly a reason for me to stop visiting to place.

 

[LifeCanBeCruel]

It's difficult to draw the line between invalidating somebody's life experience and recognising that a person needs help because they are in a state of temporary crisis. Nobody here is omniscient and so making that judgement is difficult. There's also a hint of arrogance and condescension when believing that we can make that judgement on behalf of somebody else. However, I do think some people don't actually need to commit suicide and that they should hold on to hope for a better tomorrow. Society's black-and-white thinking about suicide surely doesn't help in regards to this subject and only serves to make suicidal people more stubborn and extreme about it due to feeling trapped. Most of us come here because we're sick of being invalidated.

 

[TooConscious]

Suicide can often be trivialised in entertainment through movies or podcasts, music anything. And it does upset me when those of us who genuinly have this as an outcome, I can relate to your thoughts.

 

[tiger b]

As I've said before, OP is entitled to their opinion on a venting thread.

I would point out that in a previous thread, OP said they didn't care what anyone else thought. Now that is their prerogative, but I don't know how anyone who believes that can expect others to care in return, unless they share exactly the same opinion without any divergence.

If that's part of the 'good old days' OP is talking about, people not caring about other's opinions...well, I'm not seeing it myself, but maybe that's my lack of perception.

I think the mods should decide what stays and goes personally.

 

[Jolene79]

Alot of people don't want to die. I'm one of them. I am in the category of shit I don't want to die but things are looking grim, I want my suffering to end, all I can think about is suicide and I want to be prepared to know what options there are for me. Right now, I want to talk about my suffering in a place where I know there will be no judgement or horror reactions to what I've said. There's nowhere else like this for people in the same category as me.

I also see people on here still alive so for various reasons people are feeling suicidal and want to discuss that. And at this point, that's enough without them actually going through with it.

There is no other place like this to help ease the agony of another day. Looking at all the methods fills me with horror right now. I came here hoping there would be some lovely easy peaceful way. When you realise there isn't, some of us will spend more time venting and philosophising than going through the practicalities of ctb.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

You're extreme in your pro-death stance and a lot of people don't like that either. I'm more on the pro-life side I suppose you'd say in that I think suicide should be a very last resort. I'm actively planning my own though so maybe I'm a hypocrite I don't know but I believe time should be taken over such a serious decision. And I don't think we should be making people feel like they aren't welcome here or can't advise on anything other than methods or saying good luck. I don't personally wanna see this site turn into what the pro-lifers think this place is.

 

[WonderingSoul]

Been on this site since 2021. I absolutely agree with you. Even though I don't think it's changed that much, I do prefer how it was the first time it joined. Kinda wish it could go back to that state.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

As I've said before, OP is entitled to their opinion on a venting thread.

Sure, but when you make " housekeeping" threads commenting on the forum itself, those views are up for discussion.

 

[tiger b]

Sure, but when you make " housekeeping" threads commenting on the forum itself, those views are up for discussion.

...I have mixed feelings. To be honest, I'm not entirely happy with my post.

 

[kilowatt]

I guess everyone's entitled to their own opinions. Some more annoying than others. I agree with you to an extent.

 

[BlazingBob]

Maybe when people see that you want to CTB but have been saying it for years (or as long as it shows you've been on here for) people mistakenly think that you're hesitant or can still be saved despite your very valid point.

And if they actually read any of my posts they'd know I'm still here because I have 3 very old dogs that would be neglected or more likely sent to a shelter to be euthanized if I ctb. I make that point in damn near every post I make but I'll still get the 'have you tried' unsolicited advice sometimes, and it just rubs me the wrong way. If I had any ambivalence I'd be hanging out in the recovery section, where they should be.