Self Harm Thread

[TessB]

Don't say that! I must be a right freak because I go right through until I can see the inside moving separately to the outside, then, once the bleeding stops I stable the sucker closed. I used to stitch myself shut but I don't have the dexterity anymore. I'll do a big smiley face next time and take a picture of it for you.

Blimey.. you're hardcore.. mine seem like cat scratches now

 

[Mentalmick]

Blimey.. you're hardcore.. mine seem like cat scratches now

Me and my cpn have some interesting conversations about it.

 

[idontevenknowanymore]

I've been cutting since I was 15. It used to be daily, now it's every few months when it gets really bad and everything I pushed away comes up at once. I always felt and still feel pathetic for not getting more than scratches (got a bit deeper like twice, a few years ago but haven't been able to since). I love seeing the scars, feeling the sting when showering while having fresh cuts on my body. My legs, stomach and left arm is full of scars and I love it, I like when people look at them (I don't cut for attention but I like the attention it gets me sometimes, yk? Not all of it tho).
I mostly don't do it as often now because I'm scared of disappointing anyone

 

[Lost.]

3 months since last cutting. I miss that so much I don't dare do it after some things.
Sorry if i bother. I needed to vent this somewhere.

I've been cutting since I was 15. It used to be daily, now it's every few months when it gets really bad and everything I pushed away comes up at once. I always felt and still feel pathetic for not getting more than scratches (got a bit deeper like twice, a few years ago but haven't been able to since). I love seeing the scars, feeling the sting when showering while having fresh cuts on my body. My legs, stomach and left arm is full of scars and I love it, I like when people look at them (I don't cut for attention but I like the attention it gets me sometimes, yk? Not all of it tho).
I mostly don't do it as often now because I'm scared of disappointing anyone

I envy to you. You do it.

 

[Toptock]

usually I'll cut, but due to a fear of being caught I typically stay just under the epidermis, never going too deep so as to see styro or draw blood (I'm not afraid of blood, just haven't gotten that deep yet) until it stings and inflames. Recently I've gotten into bruising my ribs, that's pretty fun. But I do have a few things on hand just in case it gets too rough.
It's cathartic in a way. My brain screams "stop" but it's one of those things where, once I start, I don't really see myself stopping. I'm no longer afraid of anyone actually seeing my cuts, either. I don't want the attention, but I'm secure enough in my mind that I'm willing to either craft an elaborate lie or just be up front. Nobody I know has any real power anyway, nobody would believe them.
Is it too shallow of me to consider this self-harm? considering how I never actually injure myself, just give myself some nice cuts that heal in a few days? I used to think it was scarification but there's no real scars. I want real ones, but I fear both the pain and unchecked bleeding

 

[Mentalmick]

Anything you do to yourself that harms you is self harm. The thing about cutting deeper is you adjust to it and just keep going deeper until you can't go any deeper. It is very, very messy and dangerous at that stage.

 

[FreeAngel]

When I was 14 I started self-harming and year by year it has become an addiction and the wounds get deeper and deeper, you really have to be careful it doesn't go that far

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I always cut my arm and legs, but I started doing it in my face, I'm scared the face is dangerous to cut in (not that I care but I don't want to end up in the ER)

 

[Thinking]

This thread makes me feel less alone. Thank you everyone

 

[Soulless Angel]

I always cut my arm and legs, but I started doing it in my face, I'm scared the face is dangerous to cut in (not that I care but I don't want to end up in the ER)

I don't know anything about cutting in the face this is the first time I have ever heard of anyone doing that, really hope you are OK, and please be careful

This thread makes me feel less alone. Thank you everyone

its something I find many people dont wish to talk about, associated with teens and emos, when that is not the reality. I wanted a thread where others could talk and not feel alone, talk to us if you need to

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Wow re-reading my post and this thread and yeahh self harm is definitely comes in many forms...

Sometimes (for me) its about taking the lesser poison...

I dunno tbh I do feel like cutting today and I realized I feel like this A LOT. Smoke weed in a healthy sense and even drink sometimes in a semi healthy sense to get the edge off but damn...

I thought I was over this but I think its just morphed into a lot of dif shit.

Learning to self soothe is a processsssssss and leanring to self soothe in "healthy" ways is even more..."difficult.." hmm...

 

[Mentalmick]

Wow re-reading my post and this thread and yeahh self harm is definitely comes in many forms...

Sometimes (for me) its about taking the lesser poison...

I dunno tbh I do feel like cutting today and I realized I feel like this A LOT. Smoke weed in a healthy sense and even drink sometimes in a semi healthy sense to get the edge off but damn...

I thought I was over this but I think its just morphed into a lot of dif shit.

Learning to self soothe is a processsssssss and leanring to self soothe in "healthy" ways is even more..."difficult.." hmm...

I'm pretty shocked when I remember where I started and where I am now with self harm. I wouldn't of dreamt of doing what I do now back then, it would of made me sick.

 

[Squiddy]

I don't know anything about cutting in the face this is the first time I have ever heard of anyone doing that, really hope you are OK, and please be careful


its something I find many people dont wish to talk about, associated with teens and emos, when that is not the reality. I wanted a thread where others could talk and not feel alone, talk to us if you need to

I've dragged my blade across my cheek, but I've never cut in

 

[Soulless Angel]

So scratching the hell out of the back of my hand is a new one, or digging my nails in hard into my arm, neither lng term damage, but enough to calm me for now,
my scars aren't huge, but enough,

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

[DarkWolf]

Im addicted to cutting. I have cuts from my thighs down to my ankles on both legs. I look like ive been in a fight with a kitten.
I have skin picking disorder. Sometimes I pick til I bleed. I used to have to sellotape my fingers when I was a teenager to stop the bleed and doing further damage.
I used to hit myself or throw myself against walls but I don't do those as much anymore.

 

[Soulless Angel]

How are peeps doing?

 

[Ani198]

I used to cut a lot more than I do now. My boyfriend took all my knives after I told him I was feeling depressed and suicidal, so I haven't cut in a while. But it used to be really bad. In school I'd sharpen mechanical pencils on the covers of my notebooks and stab myself with them or use them to scratch into my leg.

Recently I've been punching my legs whenever I feel like I want to cut. It's not as soothing as cutting, so I generally only do it when I feel like I deserve pain (idk else how to phrase it lmao). Otherwise I'll just hold my sn for a while and get the same soothing effect.

 

[DarkWolf]

I've cut up both my arms in a panic episode a couple of days ago. I don't normally cut my arms as I don't want anyone to know. I accidentally left my sleeves rolled up and I think my landlord/roomate saw them, hoping they think nothing of it. What a fucking mess. Hopefully they'll heal soon and won't scar. My life is really going downhill.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

Progress pictures of my last satisfying cut...I really miss the blood and seeing my disgusting fat inside.

Spoiler: TW - Blood

Instead of cutting, I've been burning with a hair straightening iron. The scar tissue and burns are actually changing the shape of my arm I want more open wounds and scars though. It'll never be enough. I wish my whole body could look like this.

Spoiler: TW - My gross arm

 

[purple꿈]

i started self harming when I was 14. i didn't know much about the consequences back then and how utterly embarrassing it was for people to see my cut wounds. i stopped for awhile but a few months ago i was back at it. it left scars, it was ugly but i couldn't stop doing it. once in awhile i also have tantrums and i either scrape my skin with my nails or hit my head somewhere, whether it be my own fists, the wall, or a blunt object

i stopped cutting bc the only blade i had became rusty lmaooo

 

[Mentalmick]

Here's the progress of a cut I did a few weeks ago. Unfortunately it's going to be a raised scar, which is a bummer:

Spoiler

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Scratched my arm over a trivial mistake at work last Saturday. The voices in my head told me I'll never amount to anything. I gave in to my inner demons.

Spoiler

 

[Mentalmick]

i started self harming when I was 14. i didn't know much about the consequences back then and how utterly embarrassing it was for people to see my cut wounds. i stopped for awhile but a few months ago i was back at it. it left scars, it was ugly but i couldn't stop doing it. once in awhile i also have tantrums and i either scrape my skin with my nails or hit my head somewhere, whether it be my own fists, the wall, or a blunt object

i stopped cutting bc the only blade i had became rusty lmaooo

I wouldn't dream of encouraging you but you can get sterile blades, they're far safer.

 

[Fthis]

I see self harm mentioned a lot on this forum, but never one set area for it.

So I wanted to do a thread where people can come and talk freely, seek support, Share images, {but please spoilers first}

Self harm goes unnoticed, but its a path many of us walk. Share your story, support and more here?


This is not a thread to encourage self harm, Before you get to that point, please seek help, or talk here so we can talk you out of it!

I haven't full on cut with a knife, but I've used scissors and stuff, I remember discovering self harming in like 6th grade where I would scratch myself with a sharpened pencil or bang my head against a wall. Currently I've figured out how to make myself pass out so I use that as a form of self harm. Pass out while standing, then fall down. When you wake up you hear this loud noise and you don't know who you are or what time is it for an undefined amount of time, probably about a minute after you wake up. Then you remember what happened and you feel pain evrywhere and your numb

 

[Mentalmick]

I would scratch myself with a sharpened pencil or bang my head against a wall

Lol, I used to do that as well, although I would more jab myself with it. I once headbutted a wall so hard I woke up on the floor. What a fucking headache I had. The wall survived the incident, much to my annoyance.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I am quit embarrassed from doing it, I have not done it for years but my arms still have scars on them and they are quite visible, one scar should've had stitches but the stupid nurse just used those sticker things so it is a lot bigger than it needed to be. Fortunately I always wear long sleeves so don't see them apart from when getting dressed.

 

[Storm225]

I've been self harming on and off since I was 14 and have recently picked it back up in the last few months, I tend to only do it once a month as I'll pick the scabs as a form of self harm until I don't have any scabs left.

I've ran out of scabs 2 days ago but I've booked myself in for a tattoo as I want to feel physical pain.

 

[I-can-only-imagine]

I self harmed daily when I was 14-16/17. Apart from a few slip ups in the following years of 17-22 I have been clean since then. Well. Until now.
now I am in a really bad place with my MH, the worst I've been since I was 16. And the cutting has started right back up. It isn't daily but it is more than once a week. And between those days I will pick at the scabs until they bleed, slowing down the healing.
some on my leg are small but deep. I'm annoyed I have started on my arm again because I now have to be super careful to keep it covered. I enjoy feeling the pain the next day as well as it helps me to feel something other than the chaos of my mind. I hate it when all the scabs have turned to scars as there is then a stronger urge to do it again. I enjoy it and hate it in equal measures.
I will get there again someday where I manage to stop. But until my MH is in a much better place again I just don't see it happening. So for now I just have to try and get through every day.

 

[Aeathelina]

I have been SH for the last seven years. Starving myself, harming with knives and razors on my chest and arms. Its been a month since I cut but I'm still restricting myself everyday. Its the only thing I can control in my life, the only guarantee

 

[Soulless Angel]

I have been SH for the last seven years. Starving myself, harming with knives and razors on my chest and arms. Its been a month since I cut but I'm still restricting myself everyday. Its the only thing I can control in my life, the only guarantee

The control thing I totally understand, for me its very similar, though the other day I lost my temper and took control of another situation, now I sit here and wonder fuck did I do the right thing!
Self harm though is in some ways a loss of control, yet control as in we chose it, but a loss of control of emotions, damn does that even make any sense?