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evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
164
Hey all! For those who don't know me, my name is Evan. I suffer from BPD and TRD.
I truly love this community, it's filled with some of the kindest souls I've ever met. Unfortunately, I think I've come to the end of my journey. I love life, it's just not something I can bear anymore. Waking up each day has become harder than the day before, and it's so tiring. I've tried so many different types of therapy and medications but nothing works. I fucking hate it so much, I tried so hard to be "normal" but it didn't work? Use me as an example to pro-lifers that help doesn't always work, and that suicide is always an option when there is no more light.
Later tonight, I will be hanging my self (partial) with using neckties and a pull up bar. I've been doing as much research as I can to make sure that I have sufficient pressure on my carotid arteries, and that I won't wake up this time. This is my 2nd goodbye thread (hopefully the last). I've tried to hang myself before, and was hospitalized and institutionalized as a result. I don't think I could go through that again. I'm tearing up while I write this. I'm imaging my young self and everything that he wanted to do with his life. I feel like such a failure.
I ask all of you that are going to keep on living, please, fight for us. Decriminalize assisted suicide worldwide. Death is a beautiful thing that everyone will go through eventually, for me the time is now, and many others have decided their own fate as well.
I'm sorry for kinda rambling on about stuff like that in my goodbye thread lol, but it's what's truly important to me. I love you all.
I'll be on here to chat for the next few hours, then I'm going to hang myself.
 
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Kurai

Kurai

Suffering
Jul 23, 2023
149
goodbye, wishing you peace and good luck with your plans 💜
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Visionary
Jan 1, 2024
2,376
I hope you find peace from your suffering <3
 
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$crim

$crim

skincarver
Feb 12, 2023
96
we love you too!! fly high! ♥
 
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L

LostSoul1965

Experienced
Apr 15, 2024
272
Very well written my friend. I wish you the best and hope you find peace. It really hit home when you mentioned your young self. Inner child. Mine hurts so bad after all I have been through and dreams that will never be realized. People that i cared for so much that have walked away. Not to be bothered. We are born young,naive,full of hopes and dreams. The world is not a kind place when our health....mental and physical goes awry. People tend to cast us aside as if we have no emotions or feelings. Especially my family in my case. It is sad. We suffer silently until it comes to this. The mental health and medical health communities are worthless and flawed. They lock us up and push medications upon us that do more harm than good in most cases. I cannot wait til my SN is here and I can join you. If just someone....anyone loved and cared about me then things could be different but that is not the case.
 
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fsociety

fsociety

Member
Mar 25, 2024
63
I wish you all the best!
If you need somebody to talk to in your last hours, you can always message me ❤️
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,264
Good luck, I wish you the best and I hope everything works for you the way you want it. You've been a very supportive user here and you will be missed. Peace be on your journey. I hope you find the freedom you search for ❤️ 🫂
 
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P

PointlessVoid

Member
May 13, 2024
13
Don't ever be sorry about rambling, many of us here feel as you about finding life tiring and pointless. Do what feels right for you
 
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justcallmeJ

justcallmeJ

<3
Nov 9, 2023
400
Im sorry life became so unbearable for you ;( i wish you the best on your journey and hope you find peace <3
 
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evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
164
I really appreciate all the wishes :(
I love you guys sm
Very well written my friend. I wish you the best and hope you find peace. It really hit home when you mentioned your young self. Inner child. Mine hurts so bad after all I have been through and dreams that will never be realized. People that i cared for so much that have walked away. Not to be bothered. We are born young,naive,full of hopes and dreams. The world is not a kind place when our health....mental and physical goes awry. People tend to cast us aside as if we have no emotions or feelings. Especially my family in my case. It is sad. We suffer silently until it comes to this. The mental health and medical health communities are worthless and flawed. They lock us up and push medications upon us that do more harm than good in most cases. I cannot wait til my SN is here and I can join you. If just someone....anyone loved and cared about me then things could be different but that is not the case.
I understand you <3
 
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Reactions: Beyond_Repair and LostSoul1965
bookie

bookie

main character of sasu
Mar 31, 2024
359
I hope you find the peace you are looking for
 
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Raven2

Raven2

Specialist
Dec 1, 2022
317
I hope you can find peace
 
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rayzsuffering

rayzsuffering

New Member
May 14, 2024
1
wishing you a peaceful rest! so sorry ctb was your only option, we love you.
 
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fleshgarden

fleshgarden

Student
Mar 15, 2023
128
I've seen you around here a lot and I'll miss your posts a lot even if I never replied (I think) I'm sorry nothing helped you with your pain, you seem like such a kind soul and I hope you find the peace you deserve <3 I relate to a lot of what you said, it's truly so painful.. I hope we can see you soon
 
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Yuki_03

Yuki_03

I really can't take it
Aug 9, 2023
488
it's honestly a bit sad, but i'll miss you. i fully support and admire your courage.
good luck in your trip and may you find peace.
 
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Reactions: Ashu and evannave
ztoi

ztoi

0 Words.
Feb 10, 2024
11
Hey all! For those who don't know me, my name is Evan. I suffer from BPD and TRD.
I truly love this community, it's filled with some of the kindest souls I've ever met. Unfortunately, I think I've come to the end of my journey. I love life, it's just not something I can bear anymore. Waking up each day has become harder than the day before, and it's so tiring. I've tried so many different types of therapy and medications but nothing works. I fucking hate it so much, I tried so hard to be "normal" but it didn't work? Use me as an example to pro-lifers that help doesn't always work, and that suicide is always an option when there is no more light.
Later tonight, I will be hanging my self (partial) with using neckties and a pull up bar. I've been doing as much research as I can to make sure that I have sufficient pressure on my carotid arteries, and that I won't wake up this time. This is my 2nd goodbye thread (hopefully the last). I've tried to hang myself before, and was hospitalized and institutionalized as a result. I don't think I could go through that again. I'm tearing up while I write this. I'm imaging my young self and everything that he wanted to do with his life. I feel like such a failure.
I ask all of you that are going to keep on living, please, fight for us. Decriminalize assisted suicide worldwide. Death is a beautiful thing that everyone will go through eventually, for me the time is now, and many others have decided their own fate as well.
I'm sorry for kinda rambling on about stuff like that in my goodbye thread lol, but it's what's truly important to me. I love you all.
I'll be on here to chat for the next few hours, then I'm going to hang myself.

i love you
 
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Reactions: Ashu and evannave
landslide2

landslide2

Student
May 6, 2024
115
short time i've been here seeing u around, i want to say you are a kind person, and supportive of others. one of the kindest souls on here and you will be missed.
 
  • Love
Reactions: evannave
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
164
short time i've been here seeing u around, i want to say you are a kind person, and supportive of others. one of the kindest souls on here and you will be missed.
thank you friend :(
 
tsumihoroboshi

tsumihoroboshi

Lost Impact
Oct 31, 2023
198
your words are beautiful, i hope you finally find peace and comfort away from this hellish existence.
 
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theboy

theboy

Visionary
Jul 15, 2022
2,999
I hope you find peace. I wish you the best.
 
Falseunderworld

Falseunderworld

I banish you to the underworld for all eternity
Feb 3, 2023
87
Bye evan, have a good rest , i hope you have a pleasant journey.
 
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
164
hey guys, just set up the ties.
i feel so nervous yet so relieved at the same time.
 
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Reactions: Ashu and Aprilfarewell4
K

kayncolonthree

New Member
May 13, 2024
3
wish you the best & good luck. hope you find peace soon
 
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
164
I have the slip knot around my neck as i type this
i'm having second thoughts, i don't think i can go through with it right now. i'm so stupid.
i'm paranoid about being found again
 
Last edited:
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landslide2

landslide2

Student
May 6, 2024
115
That's okay Evan, we support you either way. The time may not be right if you have second thoughts and you can plan for another day.
 
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Reactions: Praestat_Mori and Ashu
errorsinmypast

errorsinmypast

I see only one escape
Apr 3, 2024
73
Good luck, you sound like a lovely soul 🥰 I hope you end up at the destination you've dreamt of
 

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