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InterstateFlowers

InterstateFlowers

Experienced
Apr 16, 2020
236
"Mom, I wish you aborted me. I literally don't want to be here. Or anywhere. Let me go home. And by home I don't mean somewhere on Earth. Also shoving Christianity, God, and religion down my throat isn't going to make my any less suicidal. If you sent me to the Christian school you've always wanted, they won't take my depression and suicide attempts seriously. You don't know how many times I want to say fuck your god to your face but I won't because it'll hurt your feelings. I wish you thought more of the consequences of having kids because you obviously weren't ready for one. And I don't know where the fuck you got the idea another kid would help and you obviously didn't get it from me. I'm sorry you have to work hard at work for a failure that'll kill herself in the future."

edit: that felt amazing so thank you for this thread :heart:
 
deleted

deleted

Wizard
Jul 31, 2020
675
All the suffering that you put me through these long years will come back in the form of torment
 
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Tabbyql

Tabbyql

Chronic people pleaser
Mar 13, 2019
282
Brother; I did everything I could for you, I lied, covered for you, stuck up for u gave you my last pennies, whatever u asked for i did my best. I have stood there and let u put me down over and over again, you judge me, mock me and belittle and disrespect me, steal from me. Why is it that all of us siblings have suffered all the same, and have mental illnesses and yet I'm not allowed to be ill never mind talk about it. AND this bullshit about me being the eldest, I'm only f#$%Ing 4 years older then the youngest. You go on about yourself and sister and I just have to bite my tongue and hide my pain. You know alot of the stuff I've been through and you don't care. You have conveniently forgotten everything I've done, you all make me feel like the black sheep, you know what I'm glad I'm not like you. You disowned me for 2 years, because I guess I lost my use to you. Then we are forced to speak after her death and you still manage to squeeze in a load of insults and guilt trips. You say your not like dad, guess what you are, maybe even worse. Poor you, you snap your fingers and get help and support, you do something awful you are forgiven. You are selfish hypocritical narcissist. You don't know me you never did. I'm embarrassed to be related and if I'm honest absolutely terrified of you same as I am wiv dad. EVERY time I see you, I'm reduced to a pathetic puddle, trying to please and be liked.
Dad-how can you not show any care or emotion, your daughter killed herself
Why are u acting like it's a normal day? Why do u only ever talk about yourself? Why are u not bothered about not being invited to the funeral? Throwing a bit of money my way is not being a father. I am not your counsellor,servant, cleaner I'm your daughter. I have lost so much because I'm so desperate for a parent figure. Why do u lie about everything? Why keep pretending u have cancer? Everyone knows your lying, I'm the last person In your entire family to stick around not for much longer.
Mother- u left us wiv an alcoholic fuelled abusive man child for a father, you are not my mother.
Sister- why did u push me away? We were so close, then u just stopped. Why did u send that abusive message? What did I do wrong? Why didn't you love me anymore? I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye. I really hope u didn't feel any pain in the end.
 
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
I'm sorry I don't respond to your texts. You are very special to me and I know you love me but I don't belong with you and your family. Please try to stop checking up on me. I know you understand what I'm going through but I don't want to drag you down too. Just let me fade out of everyone's life again. I want you to think I just left and moved on. I don't want you all to find out about me dying. You don't deserve that. Please try to forgive me for everything.
 
Belit667

Belit667

Experienced
Aug 2, 2020
247
To one of my female co-workers: "I'm sorry, have you been fishing recently or is it just your unwashed vagina reeking of rotten fish?"
 
A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,438
I wish I could go more in-depth about this, but if I were to explain my beliefs more thoroughly, I would be outcasted.
The shorter, more concise version would be "I heavily dislike very, VERY religious Jews for shaping this country the way they did. They're violating my right to die with or without dignity. Which IS a thing here, by the way. Allegedly."
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
I'm getting more ready by the day. Each minute that gets close, the more I realise that I promised you I wouldn't and that you said it would hurt you. I've tried to honour those but they're all I have left - words you've said and promises I've made. But I don't have you.

I'm not good enough to be able to survive on knowing you love me. I'm dying and want to die, in part, because knowing is not enough. And there is nothing more, is there?
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
I spent hours in the middle of the night trying to plan how to include you after I'm gone. I found a way and was ready to put that in place until I realised that it's probably best if you aren't included at all - that that part of my life (the biggest part) you represent and all of the people involved just doesn't know if I'm alive or dead.

That you can live thinking I'm just a flake who fled. That would be best, I think. For now, anyways...
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
(Insert name of ex) your the reason I will ultimately ctb. You broke me, you abused me raped me, stole from me, caused me to loose my house and you cheated and left me to die after saying I was a coward and why don't I just kill myself while you were out fucking another bitch...yet I still helped your worthless ass. Rot in hell you narcissistic sociopath bastard. You mocked my dog passing well I hope I can live long enough to get the satisfaction that when that Satan beast of yours dies I'll laugh my head off (FYI I love dogs I just hated his because it tried killing my other dog and attacked me) tell you mother I said godamn you, you evil bitch...lol her and her fake hypocritical christian shit....she fucking abused your poor dad and is a sick sociopath too. Oh your brother is a worthless drunk and his wife is an ugly cow, your nieces are ugly bitches (they were mean to me I'm just venting) and I hope all of you rot. My blood is on your hands...you killed me.

I know it won't do any good but I'm leaving this guy's full name and address for police I can only hope they go pay him a visit and arrest him since he is a worthless drug dealer too.
 
essic.

essic.

Member
Jul 31, 2020
23
i hope you know that your friends don't like me. They want us to separate and they're a bunch of jerks. Sometimes when you act like them, i'm really hurting.
 
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W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
I've spent months writing my final letter to him. You can tell that I start off sad, perhaps even in denial that he meant to hurt me. By the end, my anger is clear.

I have nothing but hateful words to share with him. He destroyed me. That I can never forgive him is probably my greatest regret in life.
 
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A

AllReturnsToNothing

I'm useless
Aug 5, 2020
223
"I wish I could just talk to you about how I feel. My whole life Ive admired you so much that now it's gotten to the point where it feels like your on a whole other plane of existence than me that I could never possibly live up to. You have your own life now completely separate from me. I want to reconnect with you so badly but also you hurt me so much more than I think you know. I trusted you and you completely broke my psyche. I know you were just trying to help and you thought you were helping but instead you burned one of the only bridges I had left. I know you've dealt with your own shit in the past but I don't think you'll ever truly understand how you made me feel. Now I have no one."
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
I can't respond to you and tell you anything - that I love and miss you too, that I've been in a Prednisone stupour all week (I don't want sympathy), that I'm pushing you away because I wanna die even more now, that I'm not worth it, yadda yadda yadda...

If I don't just cut off all communication, I'll keep going around and around, hoping there's hope. Just let me keep telling myself what I need to until it's all over. And then please try to forgive me.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,531
I don't have anything specific that I would want to say, but I wish I could speak my mind to other peoples faces. Instead I usually hold back because I get worried about offending someone; even if that "someone" has been a jerk to me.
 
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D

draw a circle

out.
Apr 10, 2020
300
To my best friend; stop saying things like "girls are like this and boys are like that and that's Fact" stereotypical stuff and stop saying that boys are better than girls because they "think with logic" and girls "think with emotion" like that's fucking bullshit dude I thought you were better than this. Cut that shit out. We're both humans and we can use or not use logic and emotions however we needed regardless of gender. Don't play like you (and boys in general) haven't made ridiculous decisions based of your emotions and girls have never made a logical decision. Look at the fucking mirror. I'm so disappointed. First because you're sexist and second because you're being sexist right in front of me AND to me. The audacity. And don't disregard someone's feeling just because they're on their period and their hormones are a little bit messed up. They may have valid reasons about their feelings if you would just fucking listen.

(Disclaimer: I'm not judging anyone who might have the same opinion as my friend. I just want to say this to my friend but isn't sure how. Also because this affects our relationship directly and I know he could and should be better than this.)
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
I'm sorry I love you. No one deserves the burden that I am. Being loved by me is not a compliment to anyone, it's an embarrassment, a nuisance. I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed, don't worry.
 
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
I told my therapist yesterday that I love you more than anyone on earth, even more than FM maybe or maybe just in a different way but to the same degree. As the words came out of my mouth I realised how much I do love you and miss you. I hiope I can talk to you before I ctb. I know that it will break your heart if I ctb. I hope you can forgive me and know that the last thing I want to do is lose you or hurt you. But I have to. I'm so sorry. I would do anything to not hurt you, except ctb. No one's love makes me a good person. If only...
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,091
"I doubt you're thinking of me right now but know that almost every night these past few years I've been thinking of you. I wouldn't normally say this to you since it's not meant to be when it comes to us and you're probably still happier with him but I do miss you. I've lost the ability to care about any of my friends, family, or even myself but you I still care about. That's why I am sorry to say that in about four more years when I turn 30 I will have to break my promise to you not to end my life. I know how much this will break your heart but I fear that either way I shouldn't be allowed to live because I'm just that much of a bitter, terrible person. You're lucky I'm a coward or I would have broken it already. Four years is not a very long time to turn my life around from the point where it's at now and I now know for a fact that there's no chance in hell I'll ever find someone like you again so why bother trying. I'm just going to resign myself to loving a certain fictional character until it becomes weird to do so (like when I'm 30)."
 
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