Random thoughts

[TheSoulless]

I'm so apathetic and lazy I don't even do the dishes. I only wash one plate so I can warm up food in the microwave.

 

[nerve]

I really want to start cleaning up and throwing away the rest of my junk in case I need to ctb soon but I'm so tired and theres so much other stuff to do ugh ugh ugh :(

 

[http-410]

Is it just me or are many members leaving us this year by ctb?

Before I registered, I wasn't here every day. So I don't know how it was before.

 

[ezeph]

Moving from one end to the room to another is exhausting.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Man.....that South Park pandemic special was pretty sad in the end...

 

[mattwitt]

The last girl I really had a crush on was probably a 5 or a 6 but to me she was the prettiest girl in the whole entire universe.

 

[http-410]

Another one gone...

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I miss him so fucking much.
It didn't take much to completely throw me off. Again. Again, damn it! I just heard from someone that now he is constantly complaining that now that he is rich, he isn't sure if he even has any friends and anyone at all likes him for him and not for his money. And this makes me want to grab my phone, and call him and tell him that even after three years of not talking I still miss him like hell and I would do anything, I would kick sweet little grannies and steal candy from babies and sell myself to a brothel just to have our friendship back, and money have absolutely nothing to do with it. Even though my rational mind tells me he probably wouldn't give a shit and if our friendship was worth anything to him, he would reconnect with me already.
The time when he was my friend was the only time of my life when I never felt suicidal, even when life shoveled shit in my face. I can't connect with anyone else. I talk to people, but it's just going through motions, just a tiring excercise in imitation of social connection. Nobody else can sit with me until the dawn and talk about how the universe is made and why people are the way they are. No one else can take his place.
I hate myself for messing everything up so much, even though I know that the catch 22 was that no matter what I would do in that situation, we would fall apart anyway.

 

[http-410]

Great. That ruined my day.

 

[Circles]

I sometimes wish all dogs or even all pets would die off just so everyone else could feel the same loss and grief I feel. Call me a bitter asshole I don't care but I'm fucking tired of seeing other people happy with their dogs. The only solace I get is that they'll learn one day what it's like.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I sometimes wish all dogs or even all pets would die off just so everyone else could feel the same loss and grief I feel. Call me a bitter asshole I don't care but I'm fucking tired of seeing other people happy with their dogs. The only solace I get is that they'll learn one day what it's like.

This hit me so hard. My deepest condolences and sending you hugs. My dog died a little over a year ago and I'm still not over it...I never will be. I cry daily. I miss her. I promised her I wouldn't ctb until she passed..I feel like I failed her because of my depression I didn't spend much time with her in the end. I really understand your feelings in this post. It's so disheartening and soul crushing seeing others playing with their dogs and are so happy. I legit feel jealous. It killed me watching my abusive ex play and love his dog after mine died (and he made fun of me for being so devastated...one day be will know the pain!) My dog was truly the light of my life my heart and soul. Our dogs aren't just pets they are our family..a part of us.

 

[BipolarGuy]

People called Gary work as van drivers.
People called Ben are door-to-door salesmen selling windows.
People called Keith are ice cream men.
People called Robert work as car maintenance people.
People called Alan work as a butcher.
People called Simon are builders.

 

[http-410]

I dreamed that I took SN. It was so uncomfortable and painful I woke up.

 

[throwaway123]

I never thought about how much my bad health was going to affect my life. The older I get the worse it gets and well if you are sick you are so fucked. Today's world is so competitive it's impossible to keep yourself above water.I always thought it was my fault but now I'm starting to realize that life pushed me into this. I didn't chose this. I was born like this. It's not my fault that I have disease. It never was and there is nothing I can do about it. But there is one thing and that thing will give me freedom again, freedom to chose, freedom to live the way I want and to refuse to live a live in slavery to the diseases that have attacked my body and the capitalistic bullshit society in general.

 

[EssenceFocus]

I wonder who had the idea to put Steve into Smash Bros Ultimate

 

[Morphinekiss]

Oh. Hey. I didn't die.

 

[http-410]

Another wasted day.

 

[Rue89]

I don't even know anymore...

 

[Circles]

There really is a lack of public space in modern life. If people aren't allowed the decency to have there own land without government control then why the fuck aren't there more public parks then? I'm tired of how American cities are layed out and are depressingly fuck. There's hardly anywhere you can go that isn't already 'owned'. There should be more nature parks cause there's not enough nature. I believe that this is one reason as to why modern life is depressing is because of how detached we are from nature. All this country cares about is creating a landscape full of lifeless urban sprawled suburbs and fast food restaurants. No wonder Americans are fucking fat and unhealthy. I just hate living in a city and how limiting it is just to wander around and do something besides sitting in the house all day cause there's no where close to simply go walk and experience nature which every pro lifer likes to give as advice to help with depression, but how the fuck is it going to help if there's no nature to go to? You could say go to a natural park outside the city but that's the thing it's far to drive to especially having chronic pain which limits your mobility so that's why I want more natural areas close by. Damn I'm probably not making any sense of this but whatever.

 

[Rue89]

Screaming inside my head. Anxiety sucks.

 

[Lilacmoon]

im stupid I guess. if that counts as random, since I think it 24/7 oh yeah. maybe its not random, sorry, im dumb.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Are birds really free?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Once again, taking a nap has somehow made me feel more tired.

 

[ecmnesia]

completely random but i think I'd like to run naked on the streets one night... I guess. Idk why but it gives me a sense of freedom. picture, the cool wind against your skin, the night smells and subtle sounds , some random cars passing in the distance (or maybe you are in the middle of nowhere), the clouds, the moon, the endless shade of dark blue in the sky, the thrill. idk, that sounds like a glance of what freedom is like.

plus it'd be cool if it rained, not like heavy rain, just a few drops perhaps.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Really fucking suicidal lately,
I feel trapped between a nightmare and fantasy,
It doesn't feel real anymore,
It's so bizarre.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I'm not okay with this.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Really, really want to cut.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Fuck me sideways!

 

[Lupgevif]

While not the direct cause, my mother is really good at reminding me why I want to kill myself.

 

[Rue89]

I have a tickle in my throat that won't go away. It's been this way for a couple days. If this is some new seasonal allergy that I developed this year I'm going to be pissed.