Discussion What's your relationship with your parents?

[Endstati0n]

Alot of people on this site probably have good parents and they just want do ctb because of health reasons or something.

I'm 29 and i don't really talk to my parents. I went no contact for years, then we started talking again. I really don't want to talk to my mom especially. She's crazy. Both my parents should've never had kids.

I used to hate them really bad, but as i got older, i just accepted the fact that in this world, there are bad people who only think about themselves, they're just wired like that. After accepting that, i stopped living with this hatred, now i just don't want them in my life and that's ok.

 

[itsgone2]

My father died when I was 15. I'm estranged from my mom. Which is awful. I've done terrible things in life but this isn't one of them. She can be terrible too.
They should not have had children. Oddly I don't hate them. Perhaps it's hard to. But their legacy has been ruined. As has mine.

 

[dragonofenvy]

It's so weird for me. On one hand they were loving towards me. On the other hand there were times in early childhood where I was afraid of my mom killing me as I slept. It's hard for me to be close to them even though I want to be close to my dad. I guess it feels very distant.

 

[Minfilia]

zero contact with dad. i despise him with all of my heart. long story but tl;dr he refuses to look at my face and prefers his new child over me. he never communicates unless i initiate the conversation, only to be met with nothing. maybe i don't exist to him, that is for sure.

i'm conflicted about mom. constant contact, but i still see her as my abuser. her love can be suffocating and overbearing.

 

[seeyoulater26]

Sorry things had to be that way with your family, endstation.

Totally get you. I'm 29 too. I have my mom blocked on everything. Went no contact in 2022 but shit happened and had to reconnect in 2024.
Still, I don't want to talk to her. Mine's crazy too. The only chance she gets to talk to me now is when she hijacks my phone calls with my dad. They live together.
Aaaaand nothing changed. She still always ends up yelling at me and berating me over the smallest things like she did when I was a kid. Also, she only knows to discuss problematic things and turn the convo into her irrational rant session full of hate and bitterness.

Dad's cool but it's like he has Stockholm's syndrome or something and won't leave his crazy wife. Love him to death but I very often feel sad how he never had the backbone to protect us from his wife. He's so stuck up on the "whole family" illusion despite the blatant abuse. It's kinda still a big deal in this shithole of a country.

To be fair, together, they were good providers. We had almost everything we wanted and needed growing up. But my sisters and I never knew what it was like to feel safe in our own home and family and that's important too. That impact really started to make sense to me growing up because I could actually see how far behind I was compared to my peers when dealing with situations.

I talk to my dad on the phone often and make sure mom's not around when I do it, but I never call or text my mom.
I also already accepted that I will never have the family I wanted, not even close, and it's okay and even better to love people from a safe distance.

I wish they never met though. They never should've been together, much less had children.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

My mom already passed away several years ago so she's no longer in my life because of that. As for my dad, well, it's complicated. He was such an angry asshole all the time when I was growing up, and would flip the fuck out over the tiniest of things and sometimes I was afraid of him. Now he's a lot better than he used to be, but I still resent him and my mom for having kids in the first place. I live with my dad because I don't actually have anywhere better to live than here, so I'm just kinda stuck with it.

I just wish more people could be self aware enough to realize that they shouldn't be having children like I am. Regardless of my antinatalist views, I know that I could never be a father because I can barely take care of myself some days, and also I wouldn't have enough patience to deal with such a responsibility and I can't stand the thought of having kids who will resent me for the way they were raised and for bringing them into the world in the first place when it's such a horrible place.

 

[hvk]

After accepting that, i stopped living with this hatred, now i just don't want them in my life and that's ok.

super relatable, both my parents are alive but i barely willingly talk with them outside of necessity. kind of how things played out, plus after a while i just stopped trying.

my parents divorced when i was 5, probably the start of a lot of things for me. they tell me my dad cheated and wtv, but thats a long story. hell, im not even sure if its true tbh, i might just be gullible. now i stay with my mom and my little sister. used to not really like dad cause of the story but i mean hes chill i guess. my mom is honestly just a mom. kinda ashamed im not the kind of son to call her amazing and loving and etc etc etc, but its just how i see it. i couldnt tell you the last time she said or did anything truly affectionate outside of providing for us.

i can feel for the people who say they're worried about their family if they ctb, but i just think my circumstances and life have dulled my sense for that towards my family. who knows, maybe ill change though.

 

[SweetChariot]

My family history is kinda complicated i think
Parents divorced when i was 5, dad gain custody, mom still visit and we have good relationship but after a few years she re-married and build another family
And then at around 14 my dad died so my mom get custody of me and my sister, it's really only by name since she barely ever visit because she's busy raising my step brothers
So while my mom is a nice person she basically neglected me for most of my life and she kinda don't care anymore i think, feels like we're more acquaintance than family which maybe a very strange relationship to have with your mom

 

[azo]

They're quite religious so I when I realised my beliefs were diverging from theirs (and also that I wasn't straight) at 13 or so, I realised that I would have to (essentially) lie and pretend to them until I got out, except it's been nearly a decade and I haven't gotten out, I have only gotten worse—the inertia has only gotten worse—and now I have the means (practically speaking) to get out but they won't let go, and dear lord how I wish I could just go NC or tell them the truth and have them disown me (they would not; they would cling faster)—but I can't seem to, and I'm afraid I won't. And that this is probably incomprehensible to most people outside of this culture. Vent over.

 

[JustADeerGirl]

i hate my dad, plain and simple. a view i share with my brother

i love my mom to death. she may have messed up raising me, but she's trying her best now and i forgive her

 

[darksouls]

my parents are pathetic losers, I despise them

 

[softfur]

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[Endstati0n]

I kinda wanted to give more info about why i don't want my parents in my life, especially my mother.

When my sister and i where little (10 and 11) my sister got sexually assulted by a friend of my father. My father was still friends with this guy. He said that my sister is lying. And my mother didnt even go to the police or anything.

When i was 13, they divorced because my mom had an affair. I moved out with my dad because i was afraid he would do something to himself if i'm not moving with him. My mother said later i betrayed her by moving out. She didnt contact me after i moved out, haven't heard from her for many years. In fact i lost contact with my entire family after the divorce. No one reached out, i dont blame them. So it was just my dad and me. Later my mother and i started talking again and i moved in with her and her new guy, because my dad neglected me alot and did drugs. My mother listened to me getting beat up by her new guy and she didnt do anything, i ran away back to my dad.

There's 1000 more things i could say which are all fucked up but it would be too long and you get the point.

Just this .. A year ago i asked my mom why she didn't go to the police, or did anything when my sister got sexually assulted, she said: "well, she "only" gave him a BJ". That answer sums up my mother pretty good. She never apoligizes about anything and just deflects any blame on her. She is a complete narcissist.

 

[Cepheuss]

Extremely on and off mainly with my mother shes also mentally ill and an alcoholic but she wont admit it. My dads chill though he goes through sl much but stays strong i really love him i just want better for him

 

[Ryukk]

Alot of people on this site probably have good parents and they just want do ctb because of health reasons or something.

I'm 29 and i don't really talk to my parents. I went no contact for years, then we started talking again. I really don't want to talk to my mom especially. She's crazy. Both my parents should've never had kids.

I used to hate them really bad, but as i got older, i just accepted the fact that in this world, there are bad people who only think about themselves, they're just wired like that. After accepting that, i stopped living with this hatred, now i just don't want them in my life and that's ok.

My mom is pretty good but I don't really talk to him much maybe once a month

 

[TwistedNightmares]

The only contact I have with my father is via email. We never physically see each other.
My relationship with my mom is rocky at best. Her paranoid, delusional thoughts, constant accusations and lack of empathy put a huge strain on our relationship. I find myself constantly tired and stressed because of this.

 

[starboy2k]

I would do a back handspring if I got a call saying my mom passed away………..




take from that what you will.

 

[yotaka]

I love my parents and don't doubt they love me. Over the past eight years or so we've drifted apart, though. It's not that anything happened to cause animosity. It's just that our lives have become extremely different, to the point where it's difficult to relate to them. It's like we exist in different universes. And somehow knowing that they love and care for me makes it more painful, like they have this simple, innocent view and just want me to be happy but they have no idea what my life is really like.

 

[whywere]

Both are long gone, but from day 1 till I got kicked out the day after I turned 18, they NEVER EVER wanted me, nor anything to do with me ever.

After they both died it was in their wills that they DID NOT want me at either the wake or funeral.

So, zero everything.

Walter

 

[limenlux]

One is dead and the other is dead to me.

 

[Apology]

I live with my mom. My father might as well be considered dead. He ran off with some crazy former drug addict, doesn't communicate with the rest of my family. I spoke to him once on the phone and the sort of shit he was saying about my mom and sister was so batshit insane i ended up recording the call. All this self-victimization shit about how they all somehow horribly wronged him somehow, blaming the both of them for some crazy stuff that is so out of character for both of them. It was so obviously false and insane. Shit that I even clearly verify is a lie such as (for example) my mom "cheating" on him with a man who I literally watch enter my mom's life long after my father was divorced from her....

I figured after that phonecall (which happened after not hearing from him for many years), it was time I step away too after that. It was incredibly sad. I learned after that exchange he doesn't work and doesn't even have a bank account anymore. He's nearly at the status of a crazy homeless man on the streets, just now blind due to his diabetes condition. It's so upsetting considering what he used to be to me. I mourn him like he's dead all the time.

 

[birdie8]

Growing up I was extremely close to my mom, but when I was 11 she developed a substance abuse disorder and her mental/physical health started to rapidly decline. Around 14 my parents got divorced, and I was sent to live with my mom - That was an incredibly traumatic experience; The house was in shambles, we lived in filth and poverty. As a kid, my dad was present but he worked so much that we were very distant from eachother mentally. A year after living with my mom I moved in with my dad, and we got very close. My relationship with my mom became distant and virtually no contact - Years went by and she'd only message me every few months, and treated me like a friend rather than her child. In those years, I spent so much time angry but too prideful to admit I missed her. I didn't put much thought into the situation and what I had been through, I figured ignoring it and pushing it down would be better for me in the long-run.

Two years ago she overdosed.

Since then, that wall I built up has come crumbling down, and I've been faced with the reality that I do miss her and mourn the person she was. I have so much regret, and think often about what I could've said or done to change the outcome of her life. I still have trouble accepting her death. It's hard because technically nothing changed, she was never really in contact with me anyways, but I mourn it regardless. While I'm still close with my dad, there's a gap in connection at times, and he doesn't know the extent of my mental health troubles, but does support me in the ways he knows how. We don't see eye to eye often, but we try to be there for eachother in little ways.

 

[+lostdog+]

well. strained, to say the least.
the man that i was raised to believe was my father ended up not being my father, which i learned at 20. he died when i was 10. my mom married his best friend not long after. he was excessively abusive to the point of my still having self-confidence problems, issues watching television (was never allowed was beat if i was caught), and a fear of not having a weapon to defend myself with. my mother defended him, even after he shoved her against the wall and made her miscarry. my bio dad was a coward who refused to stand up to his family. he had cancer for 10 years, and self medicated with meth. he died a couple of years ago. bio dads family are a bunch of pedophiles, pedo defenders, and actual honest to god inbreds.

 

[coolcow1289]

I'm very close with my mom. Shes a powerhouse and the backbone of my whole family. Sole breadwinner.

But my parents never should have had kids. Rampant mental illness - terrible genetics.

 

[miles-away]

Better, every since I've actually decided to grow up, get a job and take a college a lot more seriously.

I've developed a lot of empathy for my mom. She was not a great mother. My childhood was colored by her alcoholism and her late night freakouts. As a teenager, she put me in online school and I developed BDD, an eating disorder and agoraphobia. She was very neglectful in terms of our education, my mental health and giving us tools to live independently. She, like my brother, seems to sort of live in her own world.

Despite this, knowing that she was sexually abused as a child, a runaway at 17 and then went on to go to law school and become an attorney is admirable to me. And then she became an alcoholic, married my bum of a father and had three neurodivergent children who have made nothing of themselves. I feel bad for her. She is a smart woman with terrible taste in men and an empathy drive that's almost suicidal. A lot of her problems are of her own making and I wish she'd get help.

 

[evrlastingsea]

my biological mom died when i was 15 or 16 i forgot.. somehow i still see her as a good mom even when lots of my experience with her before was far from good. but maybe it's because she died that i can see her in this glittery glasses. it was fine, i guess. got better when she was sick, and i could take care of her.

i have a very weird relationship with my dad. 80% of the time, i hate him. i despise him, even. but lately he's just been neglecting, which is better than before.

and my step mom is literally just a step mom for me. it's almost professional-like relationship

 

[LonelyPrince]

I hate them both. Father is a monster, while mother is a passive idiot. They are made for each other for the worst reasons.
They are the reason why I'm on this site on the first place

 

[Forveleth]

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[siphon_hyphen]

I have a good relationship with my parents, which I think is what makes me being suicidal harder. I don't want to hurt them, but I suppose it is an inevitable outcome. Even though I'm an adult, I still live in their house. It sucks to think of them having to find my body.