BitterlyAlive
---
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,636
Aww, I can't find a gif of it. But I immediately thought of the movie Office Space and the scene with the horrible slow loading bar. Meh
-
Hey Guest,
If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.
Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVS
DD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
I often look at my old blogs diaries , sure ,I was no writer but I miss the way I was able to express myself .
Nowadays if I put my thoughs into words it's just a mess .
I feel like my brain just doesn't work anymore , when I speak to someone in person I'm a complete mess , a stuttering nonsense ..
So many times I've written things only to delete them bc why bother ?This sounds dumb , they would think you only want attention .
Sometimes I miss my 15 year old self , back then even if I had suicidal thoughts I somehow knew how to suppress them .. back then I could easily distract myself as long as I was alone .
Nowadays if I put my thoughs into words it's just a mess .
I feel like my brain just doesn't work anymore , when I speak to someone in person I'm a complete mess , a stuttering nonsense ..
So many times I've written things only to delete them bc why bother ?This sounds dumb , they would think you only want attention .
Sometimes I miss my 15 year old self , back then even if I had suicidal thoughts I somehow knew how to suppress them .. back then I could easily distract myself as long as I was alone .
KleinerWolf
Account Wipe.
- Apr 30, 2020
- 2,700
Sour patch kinda over-rated imo
Deleted member 19654
Working towards recovery.
- Jul 9, 2020
- 1,628
It's really windy in the UK and it's making me super anxious.
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,043
A fake smile here, a fake smile there. Being among people is not just about pretending to be interested, but about being alive and it is exhausting. Everything is fake.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
I went from 'I'm going to die soon, I am too scared to eat' to 'Let me eat everything before I die'.
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,043
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,321
KleinerWolf
Account Wipe.
- Apr 30, 2020
- 2,700
So much bullshittery and dysfunction like wtf mate
Have I not been through enough?
Have I not been through enough?
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,043
My mind is a mess. Too many thoughts are pulling me in different directions. It feels like my head explodes and implodes at the same time.
nerve
fat cringey shut-in
- Jun 19, 2019
- 1,012
Woke up to something upsetting and triggering being put on the television.
I put some white noise on and I'm trying to stay distracted so no one gets suspicious. They get so mad when something upsets me, it's not worth bringing up. Sometimes you hear about people whose friends and families give a shit about stuff like that and I wonder what's wrong with me.
Another fucking day :(
I put some white noise on and I'm trying to stay distracted so no one gets suspicious. They get so mad when something upsets me, it's not worth bringing up. Sometimes you hear about people whose friends and families give a shit about stuff like that and I wonder what's wrong with me.
Another fucking day :(
Deleted member 19654
Working towards recovery.
- Jul 9, 2020
- 1,628
My mum is trying to set me up with her friend's son. I just want to be left alone because he won't stop messaging me. I have to be nice because our parents are friends but I really don't want to talk to him. He won't stop asking me questions about me and life and it's so annoying. I understand that it's because he wants to get to know me but I'm just not interested.
What happens if that delusional, narcissist, Bunker boy lose in this upcoming US presidential election? Will he blame Xi Jinping and NUKE the entire China?
Sprite_Geist
NULL
- May 27, 2020
- 1,576
"I need to stop saying I am going to end my life, and instead actually end it! Every day that passes makes me older and more withered; if I do not go ahead with it soon I will miss another chance."
Seaghost
Specialist
- Apr 14, 2019
- 301
I don't stand on the ground. Don't feel the earth.
The most sad thing about life that there's no answers.
TheSoulless
I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
- Jan 7, 2020
- 1,051
I never want to go to sleep because I feel like there's still "something" to do today and I haven't done enough. In reality, I never do anything.
BitterlyAlive
---
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,636
I was talking with a coworker today and was wondering... How do people just hang out? They just go out and actually do things together, they have fun, they have stories. I have to really muster up the effort to try and hang out with my friends, and it's generally out of guilt because I've been isolating myself. I put on a fake smile and try really hard to be fun to be around. I try so hard to be in the moment but there's fog and just a bubble of sorts keeping me distant, detached. I feel so alone even when I'm with my dear friends. Even when we're laughing and clowning around, I feel like it's not happening. I feel like I'm in a dream.
I end up angry at myself and upset because I just don't have fun, I feel like a fraud and a burden by simply being around people, even though I know everyone else is working hard to put on a show too. I feel exhausted after an hour or so, even with my friends. It's a horrible experience.
I end up angry at myself and upset because I just don't have fun, I feel like a fraud and a burden by simply being around people, even though I know everyone else is working hard to put on a show too. I feel exhausted after an hour or so, even with my friends. It's a horrible experience.
Deleted member 19654
Working towards recovery.
- Jul 9, 2020
- 1,628
I hate hugs (in real life, not the emoji)
Amumu
Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
- Aug 29, 2020
- 2,624
Deleted member 19654
Working towards recovery.
- Jul 9, 2020
- 1,628
I don't like having my personal space invaded and it just feels awkward, especially if there's a height difference lol. I can tolerate it if it's a friend but I prefer to be left alone
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,043
I don't even feel that bad, I just feel numb and tired.
waived
I am a sunrise
- Jan 5, 2019
- 974
VIBRITANNIA
lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
- Aug 10, 2020
- 1,156
i want to try weed. i know the effects vary from person to person, so there's no guarantee it would make me feel any better, but you won't know if you don't try.
GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
I just want to speak my mind. I am so done pussyfooting and sugarcoating and mincing the words, constantly trying to only say the thing the other person wants to hear. You know what? I honestly believe it should be okay for me to say what I think as long as I am not directly insulting anyone or telling other people what to do.
Circles
There's a difference between existing and living.
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,275
How most conversations go on SS:
Person 1: Hi.
Person 2: Hi, how's things?
Person 1: Not much, just here. (actually been dealing with a lot but lies cause they don't want to burden anyone) How are you?
Person 2: Oh well okay,. It's been the same for me. (Lies cause they're losing interest talking)
Person 1: Oh well that's nice I guess. Hope you can atleast have a good day and week. (Also losing interest to talk)
Person 2: You too. Hugs (In actuality both Person 1 & 2 won't have a good day or week)
Person 1: Hi.
Person 2: Hi, how's things?
Person 1: Not much, just here. (actually been dealing with a lot but lies cause they don't want to burden anyone) How are you?
Person 2: Oh well okay,. It's been the same for me. (Lies cause they're losing interest talking)
Person 1: Oh well that's nice I guess. Hope you can atleast have a good day and week. (Also losing interest to talk)
Person 2: You too. Hugs (In actuality both Person 1 & 2 won't have a good day or week)
ItsOverIsntIt
Experienced
- Sep 9, 2020
- 234
I hate myself so much. I cant sleep without thinking of all the stupid stuff Ive said and done. I gave up for the moment and now Im here
KleinerWolf
Account Wipe.
- Apr 30, 2020
- 2,700
I look at people who have it easier than me and I goes "FUCK!"
then I look at people who have it worse than me, and I goes "FUCK!"
lol. bit of a shitshow, still gotta get higher up though.
That's the point of the game for most people anyways.
then I look at people who have it worse than me, and I goes "FUCK!"
lol. bit of a shitshow, still gotta get higher up though.
That's the point of the game for most people anyways.
KleinerWolf
Account Wipe.
- Apr 30, 2020
- 2,700
I'm a perfectionist.
That's saying it can be somewhat extreme, the joy and misery.
It's a curse but it's also made me alive.
I was that close to being a brainwashed monkey by default,
I'm still brainwashed but at least I chose something I like.
No regrets in that respect.
That's saying it can be somewhat extreme, the joy and misery.
It's a curse but it's also made me alive.
I was that close to being a brainwashed monkey by default,
I'm still brainwashed but at least I chose something I like.
No regrets in that respect.
VIBRITANNIA
lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
- Aug 10, 2020
- 1,156
my sn came yesterday. i realized that i'm not as comfortable with death as i thought. funny how i've been preaching to people about accepting death, and yet i can't truly be at peace with the fact that i won't exist anymore.
you always want something until it's within your grasp. maybe it's not the thing itself you're in love with - maybe it's the unattainability you're attracted to.
it doesn't matter what i want, though. i have to die. i have to die for my sins. it doesn't matter if i don't want to die. i can't possibly walk this earth any longer and pretend i haven't done any wrong. i can't forget what i've done again. i have to die. death is the only way i can be forgiven.
you always want something until it's within your grasp. maybe it's not the thing itself you're in love with - maybe it's the unattainability you're attracted to.
it doesn't matter what i want, though. i have to die. i have to die for my sins. it doesn't matter if i don't want to die. i can't possibly walk this earth any longer and pretend i haven't done any wrong. i can't forget what i've done again. i have to die. death is the only way i can be forgiven.
