Venting I am tired of trying and being alive

[IMAFRAIDDAVE]

I have not been truly happy since I was a young kid. Probably since I was 4. I became suicidal at 8 years old because of intense bullying from all of my classmates.
I have mental illnesses that make living miserable. I have friends and I love them but I want to be selfish for once.
The only thing stopping me is the fact that nothing I can think of will work.
I always used to fantasize about jumping in front of a train but the trains near me stop often and are not that fast. The train tracks are above ground anyways so it is not like I could jump from anywhere but the actual stop, which obviously would not work.
I cannot buy a gun, I am afraid of failing at hanging, I have almost no options.
I just want someone to end my own life. No one will help me. I just want it to be over with.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of it all, I always feel so tired of suffering, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I also wish to be gone, all I want is to never suffer again, I hope you find peace.

 

[IMAFRAIDDAVE]

I really understand feeling so tired of it all, I always feel so tired of suffering, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I also wish to be gone, all I want is to never suffer again, I hope you find peace.

Thank you, I hope you do as well.

 

[FishRain3469]

Yeaa, it's All Verry extremely rough and tough. Sorry I don't have Anything of Value to tell you.. But you're words and emotions are Absolutely felt and Heard. Might be giving up Extremely Soon myself....

Thoughts and prayers to you regardless of what may happen ♥ Godspeed

 

[IMAFRAIDDAVE]

Yeaa, it's All Verry extremely rough and tough. Sorry I don't have Anything of Value to tell you.. But you're words and emotions are Absolutely felt and Heard. Might be giving up Extremely Soon myself....

Thoughts and prayers to you regardless of what may happen ♥ Godspeed

I appreciate it a lot. The world is cruel in making people suffer but refusing to let them escape it. I would say never give up but that would be cheesy and hypocritical, so I will just say that I believe in you.
Once again, thank you.

 

[FishRain3469]

Thank You, most Appreciated from all sides. ♥