Random thoughts

[Severen]

Oh man! That's the first person I've encountered on here who's actually gone. Thank you for telling me, Johnnythefox.

A lot of people are gone. Dead or locked up or in a coma or decided to stop visiting this site? I don't know.

 

[azucaramargo]

A lot of people are gone. Dead or locked up or in a coma or decided to stop visiting this site? I don't know.

Yeah, I guess I've just never been able to tell. Do you just assume this (I mean, you're probably right, but...)? How do you know what's happened to people?

 

[Severen]

Yeah, I guess I've just never been able to tell. Do you just assume this (I mean, you're probably right, but...)? How do you know what's happened to people?

I don't know what happened to the people who stopped showing up.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Yeah, I guess I've just never been able to tell. Do you just assume this (I mean, you're probably right, but...)? How do you know what's happened to people?

I found someone's obituary and others have confirmed other ways, some have been in the newspaper.

 

[azucaramargo]

Oh wow! You're a good researcher!

 

[Hunter]

Everyone here is going to die one day

 

[Jodes]

Can't believe I missed his goodbye. It's not the first time, and I get angry with myself for it. I wonder if it'd be appropriate to have a kind of obituary section or similar on SS

 

[Sinbad]

Anyone else in need of a dictionary after reading a Chinaski post? I wish I could be as articulate as him.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Anyone else in need of a dictionary after reading a Chinaski post? I wish I could be as articulate as him.

Have you read any of @Misanthrope comments? They are genius!

 

[therhydler]

Have you read any of @Misanthrope comments? They are genius!

@MexicanTravels too

 

[MexicanTravels]

@MexicanTravels too

Aw, thanks! This is especially nice coming from somebody who has the Yves Klein "Leap into the Void" photograph as their profile pic!

 

[therhydler]

Aw, thanks! This is especially nice coming from somebody who has the Yves Klein "Leap into the Void" photograph as their profile pic!

I'm glad someone recognized it :)

 

[blueming]

Why do I even exist? I'm just a fucking waste of space

 

[Help_Me]

Strong convulsions right now, my leg is bleeding (not attempt, i know this wont work, just need some strong pain to keep myself sane, no more). I don't want to wake up tomorrow and i wish i could just eat or drink something which can send me to sleep forever. The panic and convulsions becomes stronger... I am ill. This is probably the only place i can it straight... I am ill..

 

[Help_Me]

UPD : the panic goes stronger... i feel i am losing my saniy and ready to do a terrible mistake. I know this wont work and i should put away this razor. But my will to die is overwhelming. I am in panic and don;t know what to do.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Intrusive thoughts! The ghost of Christmas past is hovering about over in the corner, he thinks I can't see him! He is stronger than he realises.

I never ask anyone for anything, I now have little or no contact with the outside world.

The ghost of Christmas future has nothing to show me.

 

[Johnnythefox]

UPD : the panic goes stronger... i feel i am losing my saniy and ready to do a terrible mistake. I know this wont work and i should put away this razor. But my will to die is overwhelming. I am in panic and don;t know what to do.

I'm not an expert, try breathing deeply and sit with your head between your legs.

 

[Xerxes]

I'm not an expert, try breathing deeply and sit with your head between your legs.

I did that once, someone passed by and thought I was trying to suck my own dick.

 

[Help_Me]

UPD 2 : It is morning (here), at least I felt nothing while I was sleep, but everything came back when I woke up. My work day is starting soon, for the first time in my entire life I am going to take all my stuff (for making me calm) with me. I guess I'll have to go to the restroom often and use it there. I don't care if somebody notices that or something wrong with me. I don't care if anything right now. Sorry for spamming that thread, but it's like my fingers are convulsing like hell and SS is the only place in the entire world I can share my deepest thoughts. I should be dead..

 

[Jodes]

. I don't care if somebody notices that or something wrong with me. I don't care if anything right now. Sorry for spamming that thread,

it's what this thread is here for, and it hardly counts as spamming. I think that approach is good though, who cares what others think? I think you've worried about that for long enough

 

[therhydler]

I don't remeber what it's like to not want to die. Every person I look at I think: how can they want to live?

 

[Jodes]

I don't remeber what it's like to not want to die. Every person I look at I think: how can they want to live?

So true ...when people have a problem, I have to stop myself from saying personally, Id just CTB lol!! I don't think that would go down well.

 

[Hunter]

New Year's is going to hurt so badly. God it's going to hurt.

 

[ignominia]

Christmas season remind me why I hate people

 

[therhydler]

I love cats

 

[Nanako]

I was hoping I'd be able to ctb on this New Year's Eve since my parents always leave town to party with the rest of the family (and only to come back many hours after doing so) but my dad decided to stay this year ): They know I haven't been well lately (I honestly don't have the energy to fake my present condition) but I fear they (or maybe just my dad) might be considering the possibilty that I would ctb if left alone, I guess I underestimated them... If he decides to bring back this habit (he used to not leave for family occasions all the time) it'll suck, right now I can't even think of a close date where'd I have the time to execute my method completely risk-free of getting caught ):

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

I wish I had some razor blades at hand right now...

 

[Jodes]

I wish I had some razor blades at hand right now...

Im so sorry, what's happened?

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

Im so sorry, what's happened?

It's not so much a particular event, as much as it's a state of mind I found myself in for the last few years and I find it increasingly hard to cope with it.


I just don't feel real anymore. I'm constantly empty and I feel like I'm suffocating under dread-inducing thoughts I can't really put into words. At the same time that emptiness alternates with these really extreme internal emotional reactions to seemingly innocuous events, but I can't express them or get them out.

Becauae of that SH for me is a tension-release thing, Id say

 

[Jodes]

Becauae of that SH for me is a tension-release thing, I'd say

And a way to feel - you swing between them?