I do not enjoy anything, now I can not evade, everything seems empty, meaningless.
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I feel you man. I have strong anhedonia which doesn't let me enjoy anything. It's very hard can't finding an escape for me in this days.
No matter how hard I try, I can not sleep.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
This is me, except when I'm about to have a test. Then I'm always too sleepy to attend the class.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
No one likes me and no one ever will. Maybe I wouldn't be in this position if someone cared.
akosineenee
Invisible idiot
- Aug 22, 2018
- 224
I push people away. The more people know me the more I repulse them and vice versa. No one wants to hear it's getting worse. I feel alone; even on this site I feel alone and unwanted.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
That seems like a common train of thought for a large number of us. Maybe we actually value authentic social interaction.
I've felt that too, a bunch of times. Sometimes there's this odd sensation that people see me as a dumb piece of shit. Those days are bad, but not as bad as the ones when I believe it too. (Come to think of it, the second one's present pretty much all the time right now.) You can PM me if you want to talk, but I'll warn you that I'm bad at empathy and sympathy. Somehow those parts of me have become numb and non-functional over time, and it takes a lot of time for me to find the right words to tell someone in situations that require those emotional states. Hey, maybe that's why the people I know avoid me.
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akosineenee
Invisible idiot
- Aug 22, 2018
- 224
I appreciate it. I might take you up on that one of these days. I'm the same and oftentimes it's draining for me to make conversations/interactions. I simply don't have the necessary skills to initiate or maintain it.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
It's like they already know at that age that it's better to die than live this pointless shitty life.I love this gif xD
Desperate_Soul
I'll See You Guys On The Other Side Of The Rainbow
- Aug 26, 2018
- 1,980
It's funny how I want to die because of the pain of living, but that pain isn't as painful as dying cause I want a method that's painless and peaceful. Like, I'm already in pain, why can't I suffer just one more painful situation that guarantees death to end all future pain?
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
Maybe because we hope that we can at least make one thing in our life painless, to try to seize some control.
satou
not yet
- Sep 3, 2018
- 225
Why can't I sleep today? Why did I just spend 2 hours thinking about what I would be doing right now if I was the referee from the Serena Williams US open tennis finale. I don't even watch tennis...
I miss someone so much. And I barely knew them....
Same.
I don't even know if I miss the actual person or my idea of them... still, it hurts all the same.
Yes just change the guy to a noose and its perfectI should probably buy this t-shirt
Some people just have a brighter light people can pick up on. I think we can trust that even if we didn't know them personally.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
Some of them look at me with disgust but they nobody ever talks to me. I live in one of the biggest cities and yet it's like I'm a ghost. Invisible and anonymous. I could die and it wouldn't make a difference because no one ever noticed me.
akosineenee
Invisible idiot
- Aug 22, 2018
- 224
It's her birthday today. The only thing I did is listen to STP's 'Plush.' It's her favorite song. I kept staring at the clock. I was supposed to go out and pay the bills. She's the only thing on my mind right now.
I know how you feel, this is exactly what happens to me...
And this too.
This place is the only place where I don't feel judged for being a shitty asshole and entirely broken. This place is the only place where I can talk freely without someone flipping their shit.
So. Thanks for that.
So. Thanks for that.
Save the internet or I'll say fuck this world and ctb immediately
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
I was born and my life was destined to be a complete failure. I was never meant to succeed, not even in killing myself.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Then stay because you know how it feels
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
When it's online the only thing you have is your own perception and what that person has let you see, of course you miss the idea of them but it's still that real person that behaved in their unique way to make you feel that way. It's still valid!
People who read/watch hentai are disgusting.
People who read/watch "loli" hentai are even worse. Pedophiles in the making in my eyes.
People who read/watch "loli" hentai are even worse. Pedophiles in the making in my eyes.
Even in the so called "real life", all you have from someone else is your own perception. What a person truly is, and what other people see that person as are entirely different things.
At any rate, I also miss someone, but the truth is I probably miss the idea of that person, or rather, the idea of being with that person. Something like that. I actually think I posted a thread on the subject.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
I believe that we're always playing a character, whether we're online, at a party, in school/college, at home, or in front of the mirror. We present the version of ourselves that we want to see/be at any given instant. I've noticed that I talk differently to random acquaintances, friends, parents and my own self. And all those characters reveal and conceal different aspects of our lives and minds. I've noticed the artifice since a person I knew pretty well IRL pointed out that I speak differently online - even if it's unconscious, we're always posturing and trying to present ourselves in some particular way. (For example, I'm trying to present myself as a thoughtful, philosophically inclined person here. How's that working?) And sometimes, the search for people whose characters are authentic (to us) becomes draining, especially if it's met with failure.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Literally the second half of my post that I deleted :p in real life there's definitely the sense of touch and stuff but it's still the same psychological perception that you get attached to rather than the literal body.
I think the real distinction and when it's more appropriate to say you're missing a person rather than missing the idea of them is when you had a toxic or overall negative, unhealthy relationship, and after ending it still "missing" it.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Well it's true, when I'm myself I'm basically awful. It's necessary to hold some impulses back to be a normal person but I kinda just let it all out sometimes and ruin everything.
