Random thoughts

[throwaway123]

Just this day I was again witness to the disgusting nature of humans. They are purely instinct driven. God I wish I wasn't so tired. I'm even tired of ranting. Life is so pointless and stupid. Humans so predictable and primtive. Humans viewed from an objective perspective are not different than ants. Imagine extraterrestrial life visiting us. They'd step on us accidentally and say "oh don't worry it's just a human" just like we humans step on ants all the time with no remorse. If there was an ASI with morality it would kill us all. Relationships are nothing but exchange of goods. Sex for money, emotional support, status, wealth, jobs etc.. Passing an exam? No problem just sleep with your college lecturer or give him a blowjob. I've seen adolescents do it in high school, job interviews.... Their partners know nothing about it. That wasn't the worst thing though. There were kids there that had a real "affair" with teachers. One girl had something going on from 13 to 16 (Not sure when it ended with her she is much older now and I don't talk to her.)with a teacher that was 20 years older. She really "loved" him. Can you call that abuse? I'm not sure because it's so personal. I've witnessed it unfold right infront of my eyes. Her inner circle of friends know about it and they all did similar things. I have to say the reason I know about this is because I had something for her. When I found out it destroyed me. Then there was this 17 year old boy at my former school that impregnated a teacher. Her husband doesn't know about it to this day. Can you call that abuse? I see her every now and then and she still does this. She approaches young boys who just got into puberty and lures them into having sex with her. Isn't that abuse? The line gets really blurry when you see it so close.You'd never expect to see this kind of stuff. It feels so surreal. Like you're in a horrible movie waiting for it to end. Every day I see women trying to flirt with other guys. Don't even get me started on the people in university. They're the worst. All it takes is five mintues alone for them to cheat on their fiance.

:(

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

My mental development stopped at the age 17, now I feel like I'm regressing.
I've read somewhere that depression literally makes you retarded... it might just be true.

 

[mattwitt]

I see the numbers 17 and 11 everywhere !

 

[throwaway123]

My mental development stopped at the age 17, now I feel like I'm regressing.
I've read somewhere that depression literally makes you retarded... it might just be true.

Can confirm it's true. I've noticed how I've gone more and more stupid over the years. But such is life.There's no meaning in anything and if you really use your brain you will start to notice how stupid everything is. Most humans are so primitive. It's like I don't even hate the politicans anymore because I mean if the populus is so damn stupid you might aswell go ahead with the shitty policies. I mean there's noone to stop you, right? Humans are like sheep, they do what they're told and they can't think for themselves. I used to believe in the fight for freedom but now I believe that noone on this earth deserves freedom. They gladly throw it away for things like instagram,snapchat or all that other shit.

 

[mattwitt]

I woke up thinking it was Wednesday and just found out it's Thursday

 

[weedoge]

My mental development stopped at the age 17, now I feel like I'm regressing.
I've read somewhere that depression literally makes you retarded... it might just be true.

I definitely feel this way, impulsively left home at 17, then lost my home, then my life went more and more downhill from there. Now I may be in a more stable situation but my mind is less stable than ever.

 

[weedoge]

I woke up thinking it was Wednesday and just found out it's Thursday

Ikr, I missed the bin men :')

 

[throwaway123]

I woke up thinking it was Wednesday and just found out it's Thursday

I think that's a good thing. One less day, right?

 

[throwaway123]

PANIC ATTACK

I have one everytime I seriously start to think about CTB.

 

[mattwitt]

Write your reply...

 

[throwaway123]

Soon this shit is going to be over for me. Can't wait to go.

 

[overkill]

Soon this shit is going to be over for me. Can't wait to go.

just like a ripened fruit falls from a tree to rot away on the earth, it is time for me to fall

 

[agreement]

I woke up thinking it was Wednesday and just found out it's Thursday

Some years ago I was riding my scooter back home from work and I suddenly stopped by the side of the road wondering not what day it was, but what month it was!
I've started looking at the trees that were without leaves so I was like: it should be Winter probaly...

 

[Desperate_Soul]

When I first stumbled upon this site, I saw the letters 'ctb' going around post after post, thread after thread. But, I didn't read it as 'ctb' at first, I read it as 'cbt'. I was so confused because I associate cbt with cock and ball torture (there's also cognitive behavioral therapy) and I thought this forum was filled with people killing themselves, or fantasising about death, exclusively for sexual pleasure. Finally realised it meant 'catch the bus' and it was 'ctb', not 'cbt'.

 

[Morning Angel]

Legit had a dream last night I was at a train station and the ladies around me waiting were talking about their suicide plans. One woman motioned to the other that she planned on jumping in front of the train when it arrived, but it was running late. The other woman nodded and said, "Me too." It made me feel oddly out of place, like I should be going by train as well instead of my own method.

 

[FadedMemory]

Why did I eat that damn chocolate? I don't even like chocolate the heck is wrong with me

 

[PatKat]

Soon this shit is going to be over for me. Can't wait to go.

I am ready...

 

[Tiburcio]

I'm just poison.

 

[RM5998]

I'm just poison.

Ever had the feeling that said poison affects the tech you own?

 

[Phro]

I am ready...

I've been ready. It's getting close.

 

[anna]

I'm just poison.

nope

 

[KCN]

I'm just poison.

The luckiest among us are immune to their own venom

 

[Deadinside24]

One thought I have had several times while on this forum or other sites like this is that the members are some of the most beautiful people on the planet. I'm not referring to appearance, but the way people on here write, it's poetic and it's intelligent and it's compassionate. People here are more human than all of those... normies? I think it's awful that the best of humanity is right here and that we suffer as much as we do. I think it's horrible how misunderstood we are but I also feel so at home and comfortable here because I once thought no one would understand how I feel, yet every, single person here gets it.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I feel like shit right now, I hate to leave the house and see people, I can not avoid that.

 

[RM5998]

One thought I have had several times while on this forum or other sites like this is that the members are some of the most beautiful people on the planet. I'm not referring to appearance, but the way people on here write, it's poetic and it's intelligent and it's compassionate. People here are more human than all of those... normies? I think it's awful that the best of humanity is right here and that we suffer as much as we do. I think it's horrible how misunderstood we are but I also feel so at home and comfortable here because I once thought no one would understand how I feel, yet every, single person here gets it.

It's even more noticeable on r/suicidenotes. It's as if proximity to the idea of our impending death makes us more eloquent. And there's some strange comfort in finding common ground with people who otherwise couldn't be more different that we are. There's a sense of shared suffering and unquestioning, non-judgemental sympathy (and not hollow attempts at empathy) which makes this place comforting to hang around.

 

[throwaway123]

I feel like shit right now, I hate to leave the house and see people, I can not avoid that.

I was just about to write the exact same thing.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

thinking about my mother prevents me from considering myself more seriously ctb

 

[FullFat]

When I first stumbled upon this site, I saw the letters 'ctb' going around post after post, thread after thread. But, I didn't read it as 'ctb' at first, I read it as 'cbt'. I was so confused because I associate cbt with cock and ball torture (there's also cognitive behavioral therapy) and I thought this forum was filled with people killing themselves, or fantasising about death, exclusively for sexual pleasure. Finally realised it meant 'catch the bus' and it was 'ctb', not 'cbt'.

"cock and ball torture"?! You fucking kidding me? LOL. Now that would be therapy worth paying for.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

I should probably buy this t-shirt

 

[throwaway123]

I should probably buy this t-shirt

Everday I come home saying "I'm going to CTB tonight" but I never do it. Maybe that's the trick "Just do it".....