Random thoughts

[Fehler]

I thought it would be easy because I didn't give it much importance but I'm not convinced how the farewell letter is looking.

 

[signifying nothing]

My pros - propranolol and promethazine. How do they choose drug colour and shape I wonder?

 

[Deleted member 23374]

I think mom's got the hots for jerry springer. it's funny.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

I hate attention seekers.

 

[Sensei]

There's an old joke: "I've felt much better since I gave up hope." I think there might be much truth to it. I'm convinced that If I lose all hope, it will become easier for me to cope. The big question is of course, when will I lose all hope?

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I've had a weird thought earlier today while checking on my fever and it had to do with some of my relatives that passed away.
I kept wondering to myself whether or not it's a good thing to go on living in order to honor their memory or rather die in hopes I can be with them.
Obviously, the second will never happen, or rather, will happen in the sense " we are all dead " kind of way. But still!

 

[nerve]

Just want to die

 

[Lotus]

I wish someone could just use Avada Kedavra on me.

 

[Kat!]

I NEED LEMONS

 

[Wraith]

I feel like an alien. I don't know how to fit in anywhere. I'm just unlikeable.

 

[Sensei]

I want to live, I want to die, I want to live, I want to die. A surreal dilemma without a satisfying solution.

 

[AbsoluteNothingness]

(((one of the posts ive 'written' for a 'thread bc it got deleted in the original thread lol))) ((it's 'incomplete'/'unfinished' or whatever tf that means so DONT 'assume' anything))

[[["Why do people think suicide should be easy??"]]]

Of course it should be easy what the fck, why the fuck is this even 'questioned'? And why do you complain about how the fck 'words'/'things' are 'written' lmfao, i dont give a damn fucking shit about 'grammar' and all that fucking garbage in general nor absolutely anything else whatever however it is, I don't give a damn sht how the fck 'things'/'something'/'words' are 'written' or whatever the fuck that crap means lmao. In fact i wish i never had to 'write'/'read'/'understand'/'think'/'know'/'do' etcetc absolutely any fcking shit but well lmao Im in this obligatory thing called 'life'/'existence'/'the world'/'planet earth' or whatever tf all this is called that i dont give a fucking shit how/what 'way' it is etc, that ive never given any fucking damn sht and never will if 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence'/'things' and or whatever fucking 'thing' in general whatever tf it is is whatever/any """""""'positive"""""""' 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' and or whatever the damn fck or if it's whatever/any """"""""""negative"""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' and or whatever the fck lmfao i don't give a fuck ffs I just couldn't care any fcking less about anything and i simply never fucking will and i dont want to 'care' never had fucking wanted and never will at all no matter 'what'/'how' whatever damn 'thing'/'place' bla bla whatever of whatever fucking 'type' etc is/isn't/can be/could've been lol I JUST DONT FUCKING CARE AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ABSOLUTELY ANY DAMN SINGLE 'REASON' AT ALL, whether it's fucking 'believed'/'understood' [or whatever the damn fck that means] or not. I have no fcking choice but to pretend that im interested in it/care about it/want to 'experience' it blah blah uNleSs i dOnT bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn wHy (((why tf there has to be a 'reason why' lmao why can't i simply just not want/not give a damn shit about/not have AND DONT WANT TO HAVE NO MATTER WHAT|HOW TF IT IS NEITHER WHAT FCKING TYPE OF 'THING' and never will have any "interest" about nor any "curiosity"|"attraction" for/not want to 'experience' nor 'live' nor 'do' nor 'enjoy' nor 'know' nor 'be part of' nor 'participate in' nor 'explore' nor absolutely any other 'verb'/type of 'verb'/'action' at all etc blah blah whatever tf ABSOLUTELY ANY FUCKING DAMN TYPE OF 'THING'/'PLACE' ETC BLAH BLAH NOR WHATEVER OTHER FCK in general at all no matter 'what'/'how' the fuck it is no matter 'what' 'happens', no matter 'what' 'there is'/'there can be', no matter 'how' whatever fucking 'thing' of whatever damn type/way etc it is, no matter 'how' whatever 'thing' in general whatever tf it is 'works' neither what the fck whatever 'thing' of whatever 'type' is 'about' etcetc, WITHOUT IT BEING bEcAuSe oF a rEaSoN? why can't i just simply not fucking want and NOT want to want, not 'care' and NOT want to care about not have any fucking damn 'interest' and NOT want to have any fucking "interest" about at all etc ABSOLUTELY/LITERALLY/DEFINITELY/BASICALLY/SIMPLY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL OF LITERALLY ANY FUCKING DAMN 'TYPE'/'WAY' AT ALL AND NO FUCKING MATTER 'WHAT'/'HOW' ETC IT IS NEITHER 'FROM' 'WHAT' FUCKING 'THING'/'PLACE' ETC BLAH BLAH IT IS AND THATS FUCKING IT AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE NO FUCKING MATTER WHAT WITHOUT IT BEING bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn FOR FUCKS SAKE????!!!!????!!!!!))) or else Id be suspicious and assumed to be ''depressed'' or ''apathetic'' or ''empty'' or ''bored'' or that 'something' ''bad'' 'happens' to 'me' or whatever other '''''negative''''' thing and or whatever any other fucking 'reason'. **ffs why cant i just not fucking want to exist and that's it, WIRHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF ANY FCKING 'REASON' AT ALL. why cant i just not want to 'experience' anything at all whatever/however it is and simply just not have any "interest" for/not give a sht about (and don't want to want to never had wanted never will) ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL IN GENERAL FROM ANYWHERE AT ALL OF ANY TYPE/WAY/KIND ETC NO MATTER WHAT/HOW IT IS ETC???? ((**and it's not that i dont want to 'exist' bEcAuSe 'pEoPlE' wOulD bE bEtTeR oFf 'wItHoUt' 'mE' [as if i gave a fucking damn shit 'how' the fuck whatever 'person' is/isn't 'with'/'without' 'me' and i dont "hate" 'myself' at all nor anyone/anything else in general lol i simply just don't fucking care and don't fucking want to 'care' about absolutely anything in general at all whatever/however the fck it is of literally any damn single 'type' at all and have never understood/dont understand/will never understand or whatever tf 'understand' means why tf do i yes or yes have to fucking 'care' about 'something'/'things' and or whatever tf yes or yes jfc why cant i just dont and that's fcking it ffs lol] NOR bEcAuSe iM 'sUfFeRiNg' (im not ""suffering"" at all any type of ""suffering"" at all in any way at all about ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING at all ffs lmao) NOR bEcAuSe 'lIfE' aNd Or 'tHe wOrlD' aNd Or 'eXiStEnCe' aNd Or 'pLaNEt EaRtH' aNd Or 'X' 'tHiNg' (whatever the damn fuck of whatever fcking damn type/way whatever however tf it is) aNd Or WhAtEvEr tHe fUCk|wHaTeVeR aNy oThEr 'tHiNg'/tYpE oF 'tHiNg' blablaetc and or whatever tf lol 'sUcKs' (as if i gave a fcking sht if whatever fcking 'thing'/'place' blablablaetcetc and or whatever tf whatever it is etc 'sUcKs' [or whatever tf "sucks" mean lmao] or not lmaooooo not bc 'life'/'thr world'/'planet earth'/'existence'/'things' and or whatever the damn fck """doesnt 'suck'""" doesnt mean ill be "interested" in it and that ill 'care' about it etc ) NOR because of literally ANY other 'reason' in general AT ALL for fuck's sake, im not "suffering" at all nor in any "pain" at all for/about absolutely anything in any single 'way', for any type of 'thing' at all ffs it's not because of any reason at all, I simply just DONT, have never wanted and never will WHY CANT I JUST NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING? WHY CANT I JUST NOT WANT ANYTHING? WHY CANT I JUST NOT FUCKING WANT TO 'EXPERIENCE'/'BE PART OF'/'PARTICIPATE IN'/'DISCOVER'/'EXPLORE'/'LIVE'/'DO'/ BLAH BLAH ETC WHATEVER TF ABSOLUTELY/LITERALLY ANYTHING, ANY 'PLACE' ETC BLAH BLAH WHATEVER OF LITERALLY ANY FUCKING 'TYPE'/'WAY' NO MATTER 'WHAT'/'HOW' IT IS AND THATS FUCKING IT AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY REASON AT ALL, why can't i just not have absolutely any damn 'interest' for literally/absolutely just anything at all ffs. (and don't want to have and never will whatever the fuck whatever 'thing' of literally any type at all neither 'how' ffs i just don't i just fucking dont, there's no 'explanation', there's NO 'rEaSoN wHy', it's not a 'consequence' of ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL FFS!!!!!! sigh. i simply just don't want to fucking 'think'/'write' any damn thing of literally any type at all have never wanted and never will* [but well have no choice but to.. if i didn't id be suspicious and blah blah and would be assumed to be "depressed" or whatever other fuck and or that 'something' "bad" 'happens' to 'me' or whatever other """"bad""""/""""negative"""" 'thing'/'type' of 'thing' or whatever the damn fck and would be taken to a psychiatrist/psychologist or whatever tf that is and would be assuming/insisting that there's a 'reason why' yes or yes, that im "depressed" and or that something "bad" 'happens' to 'me' yes or yes and id be forced into 'meds'/'therapy' and all that fucking crap so i won't 'explain' much more that i simply JUST DONT WANT TO EXIST/TO 'EXPERIENCE' ANYTHING ETC THAT I JUST DONT GIVE A {never had never will and it's simply NOT because of a fucking reason at all} FCKING DAMN SHT ABOUT/DONT AND NEVER WILL HAVE ANY "INTEREST" NOR "CURIOSITY" NOR "ATTRACTION" {and dont want to have it lmfao never had wanted and never will no matter what/how whatever/any 'thing' is, i just dont give a sht lol} NOR ABSOLUTELY ANY OTHER 'THING' IN GENERAL 'ABOUT'/'FOR' LITERALLY/ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL OF ANY TYPE/WAY AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS ETC and SIMPLY NEVER will and it's not because of any reason at all. i dont fcking want to 'think'/'write' anything at all i dont fcking want to 'think' in any other 'ways'/'using' other fucking 'words' or whatever tf a 'word' is to 'explain' this 'bEtTeR so "no one" makes "any" fcking assumptions (no matter 'how' 'i' 'explain' 'this' neither 'what' fucking 'words' 'i' 'use' etc no one whether theyrr pro life or not, suicidal or not etc will ever understand/believe and not make any assumptions lol) so well, if 'explaining' 'this' 'this' 'way' will get assumptions and it wont be 'understood'/'believed' i couldn't care less lol if 'you' and or whatever other 'person' 'assumes' whatever 'thing' i won't 'read' it at all, im 'glad' I disabled notifications. I just wanted to 'make' this 'post' because it's so fcking frustrating that 'you' 'say' that dying/the 'process' to FINALLY NOT EXIST AT ALL/NOT 'BE' ANYTHING|ANYONE|ANYWHERE AT ALL sHoUlDnT bE 'eAsY', of fcking course it should be easy what kind of 'question' is that. Im not "against" 'you' nor anyone in general at all, i just don't 'agree' and never will with 'saying' that dying/'suicide' shouldn't be easy. I NEVER asked to exist at all nor 'be part of'/'belong'/'participate in'/'experience'/'know'/'explore'/'enjoy'/'do'/'live' etc blah blah nor whatever tf any 'life', any 'world', any 'planet', any 'existence', any 'consciousness', any 'galaxy', any 'universe', any 'thing'/'place' in general at all etc blah blah whatever tf of literally any 'type'/'way'/'form' etc at all no matter 'what'/'how'/'where' etc it is nor any ANYTHING at all in general of absolutely any 'way'/'type' no matter 'how'/'what'/'where' it is etc, i just dont, ok I 'came' 'here', was 'brought' 'here', i 'exist', was forcedly 'put' 'inside' a 'human body'/'brain'/'mind' or whatever all that is etc, but what if i simply just don't want to 'do'/'experience'/'live'/'be part of'/'participate in' absolutely ANYTHING no matter what/how it is, no matter what 'type' of 'thing'/'place' etc it is and that's fucking it????? what if i simply literally just dont want to 'exist' as anything at all of any type whatever it is etc neither 'exist' absolutely ANYWHERE AT ALL, not only """"this world""""/""""this planet"""" [as 'people' 'call' 'these' 'places' or whatever tf a 'place' is, with "this" before as if there were other/more 'words'/'planets'/'lives'/'existences' and blah blah whatever tf lol i hope not ffs i just ETERNAL ABSOLUTE NOTHINGNESS/NON-EXISTENCE!!!!! AND NOTHING ELSE AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS!!!!!! i just literally dont want to 'be' any fucking damn 'thing' at all ffs, i simply just dont want to 'exist' as anything/anywhere at all ffs what's so """"strange""""/""""abnormal""""/""""iRrAtIonAl""""/""""iLlOgIcAl"""" about this? (as if i gave a fcking sht if it's """irrational"""/"""illogical"""/"""abnormal"""/"""strange""" and or whatever tf lol that won't change anything i literally just simply will NEVER want to 'experience' anything at all nor exist at all anywhere at all and simply will never give a damn fcking sht about absolutely anything no matter what type of 'thing'/'place' etc bla bla whatever it is, no matter 'what'/'how' whatever 'thing'/'place' etc bla bla of whatever/any 'type' it is and i never will want to and thats it, there simply isnt/aren't any 'reason'/'reasons' AT ALL) what if i SIMPLY JUST DONT 'CARE' ABOUT/DONT WANT TO 'CARE' 'ABOUT' ANYTHING AT ALL IN FENERAL, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING OF LITERALLY ANY TYPE and no matter 'what'/'how' it is, why cant i just simply NOT have any "interest" at all for/NOT want to have any "interest" for ABSOLUTELY anything in general at all, WHAT IF I SIMPLY JUST DONT WANT TO AND NEVER WILL WANT ABSOLUTELY/LITERALLY/BASICALLY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL FFS FROM ANYWHERE IN GENERAL AT ALL, NEITHER 'ANY OF THIS'/'THIS'/'THIS' 'PLACE'/'THIS' 'THING' NO MATTER WHAT/HOW IT IS OF ANY TYPE/WAY AT ALL NOR ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS, of literally ANY type, any way at all, any other type of 'thing'/'place'/'world'/'life'/'planet'/'existence'/'consciousness'/'galaxy'/'universe' etc etc blah blah nor absolutely anything else in general AT ALL no matter 'what'/'how' it is, no matter what 'type' of 'thing' it is, no matter what 'there is'/'there isnt'/'there can be', no matter if 'there are' 'things' or not neither whatever/however tf those 'things' are/arent/can be/could've been etc etc????!!!!! why isn't this fucking possible WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF ABSOLUTELY ANY SINGLE FCKING DAMN 'REASON' AT ALL OF ABSOLUTELY ANY 'TYPE' AT ALL AND THAT'S IT???? just because 'human' 'beings'/'people' or whatever that means/is say so/feel like it? what a damn fucking bullshit lol. I just will never, literally never, 'understand' why there has to be a 'rEaSoN wHy' yes or yes and simply just not wanting/not caring about/not having any damn "interest" etc at all about AND NOT WANTING TO AT ALL ABSOLUTELY anything at all (AND ITS NOT ""tEmPoRaRy"" nor a ""pHaSe"" nor ""dEpReSsIoN"" nor a ""bAd lIfE"" {as if i gave a fck if 'my life'/'life' in general/whoever's 'life' etc whatever tf is """""good"""" and or any other """""""positive""""""" 'way'/type of 'life' blah blah or if it's """"""bad""""""" and or whatever other """""""""negative""""""""" 'way'/type of 'life' and or whatever tf lmfao i dont give a sht. 'my life' isnt ""bad"" at all, it's 'good'/'great' or whatever that means and I couldn't care less lol. Im not "suffering" at all abt anything in general at all and i couldnt care any less lmfao. I 'have it all' and i dont give a shit neither, i just simply dont care about anything has never at all cared and simply never will and i just cant understand why this isn't possible uNleSs iTs bEcAusE oF a rEaSoN lol.} NOR ""ApAtHy"" NOR ""aBuSe"" NOR ""bULlYiNg"" NOR ""bAd SiTuAtIoN"" NOR ""bAd cIrCuMsTaNcEs"" NOR absolutely any other 'reason' of any type at all //any other """"negative""""/""""bad"""" 'thing'/'problem'/'issue' at all of any type, there simply isnt any reason at all, whether 'you' 'believe'/'understand' it or not) ""isnt possible"", how tf it isnt possible lmfao just because 'human beings'/'people' say so and feel like it? i didn't ask to 'exist'/be 'born' or whatever bEiNg 'bOrN' means/be 'brought' anywhere at all, to any 'thing' at all of literally any type at all whatever/however it is etc so why tf it isnte possible to simply want to not exist at all AND WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF A REASON? lmfao sigh, i fucking wish NONE of 'this' (nor absolutely anything else in general that 'these' 'things'/'places' 'couldve' 'been' and or whatever other 'thing'/'place' of whatever other 'types'/'ways'/'forms' and blaaah blaaah anywhere else blah blah) nor absolutely anything else in general whatever/however it is was an obligation/obligatory, i FUCKING WISH that i could disappear/leave/CEASE TO 'EXIST' whenever 'i' want and thats it but well im basically the only one like this (and fucking PROUD and NOT """"aShAmEd""""/""""eMbArRaSsEd"""" at all, lmfao why would i ) 'surrounded' by not only 'pro lifers' or whatever that crap is but 'suicidals'/'pro choicers' etc etc whatever tf, all quite the absolute/extreme 'opposite' {or whatever that means} of 'me' and will never understand/believe/take this 'seriously' without making any fcking assumptions and all that crap so.. I'm literally/basically trapped... it's so fcking frustrating that dying/FINALLY NOT EXISTING AT ALL FOR ALL ETERNITY is so fcking hard and risky... It SHOULDN'T be like that ffs... (*never wanted and never will nor absolutely anything else and don't fucking ask "wHy" because there simply isnt any fucking goddamned reason, and i don't have any fucking 'pRoBleM' with this lmfaooooo why the fck would i be "worried"/"embarrassed" or whatever the fuck that means, i simply just don't and thats fucking it and im fucking proud of simply just not wanting/not fucking 'caring' about anything and simply just not wanting to 'know' about/'experience'/'explore' etc blah blah whatever tf ANYTHING NO MATTER 'WHAT'/'HOW' THE FUCK IT IS OF LITERALLY ANY DAMN 'TYPE' AT ALL AND THAT'S IT. THATS. IT. "yOurE pRoUd oF nOt wAnTIng bEcAuEe 'lIfE'/'eXiSteNcE' aRe 'sUfFeRiNg' aNd 'pAiN' aNd sO 'uNfAiR' aNd 'pAiNfUl' aNd 'hArd' aNd bEcAuSe 'tHe wOrLd' iS a 'bAd pLacE' aNd tHeRe aRe sO mAnY pRoBlEmS aNd TrAgEdIeS hApPeNiN, WhY wOuLd sOmeOnE wAnt 'tHiS lifE' aNd tHiS 'fUckEd Up' 'wOrLd' {as if i gave a fcking shit if its """""fucked up"""""" or not or however tf lol) iF 'lIfE'/'eXiStEnCe' aNd 'tHe wOrlD' wErE aNotHeR wAy yOu wOuldNt bE sAyIng tHat" no lmfaoooooo it's not because of that crap NOR basically/literally any other 'reason' in general at all of any other 'type' about anything at all, I couldn't give any less of a fck 'how' tf 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence'/'things' blah blah etc etc and or whatever the fck is/isnt/can be/could've been lol i couldnt care any less if whatever/any type of 'thing'/'place' etc blah blah and or whatever tf is any/whatever """""""""""positive""""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' and or whatever the fck or if it's any/whatever """""""""""""""""negative""""""""""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' etc blah blah and or whatever tf or if its any other 'way' lol i dont give a fck. As well as i just don't give a sht and never will about 'what' 'happens'/what 'types' of 'things' 'happen' neither 'what'/'how' the 'things' that 'happen' are not only in 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth' blah blah etc (or whatever its 'names' are) but absolutely ANYTHING/ANYWHERE ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL no matter 'what'/'how' it is no matter what 'type'/'kind'/'way' of 'thing' it is ffs. And also couldn't give any less of a fck 'what' 'there is'/'there isn't'/'there can be'/'there could've been' bla bla etc whatever tf not only in 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence' or whatever tf 'these' 'things'/'places' are 'called' (or like 'people' call this 'thing'/'these' 'places' called 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence'/'consciousness' and or whatever tf """""this life"""""/'modern life'/"""""this world"""""/'modern world'/"""""this planet"""""/""""this existence"""" as if there were more/other 'lives'/'lives' in other 'planets'|'worlds', more 'planets' (well apparently there are more but i couldn't give any less of a fcking sht lmfao)/'worlds'/'existences'/'galaxies'/'universes' and or whatever the fck lol i just hope NOT ffs!!!! i simply just couldn't care any less about absolutely anything and never will and thats it and just literally simply DONT want to 'experience' anything at all of any 'kind'/'type'/'way' whatever/however it is and SIMPLY NEVER WILL. And i dont want neither 'modern' life'/'modern world' however tf it is nor 'ancient'/'old' 'life'/'the world' 'before' nor whatever the fck lmfao /nor any other type of 'life'/'world'/'planet'/'existence' at all no matter 'how'/what 'way' it is neither what there is/what happens/what it has/what it's about/how it works etc etc bla bla whatever other fck, I JUST DONT GIVE A FCK LOL i simply DONT and simply NEVER WILL!!!!) but absolutely/literally ANY OTHER 'THING/'PLACE' ETC BLA BLA WHATEVER TF AT ALL OF ANY 'KIND'/'TYPE'/'WAY' AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS!!!!!! // ANYWHERE ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL /IN ANY OTHER 'THING'/'PLACE' AT ALL OF ANY OTHER 'TYPE'/'WAY' AT ALL IN GENERAL NO MATTER 'WHAT'/'HOW' ETC IT IS!!!!!!!! so no lmfaooooo it's NOT because of that crap nor absolutely ANY other single 'reason' at all.

'I' have no way out at all and it's so fucking frustrating and there are "people" (or whatever tf "people" means lol couldn't care any less) like 'you' who ask why dying should be easy and 'say' (or whatever tf 'say' means lmfao) that it shouldn't be easy like wtf lmao OF COURSE it SHOULD be easy wtf. It SHOULD be not just 'easy' or whatever tf "difficult"/"easy" blah blah means lol, it should be MUCH MORE THAN EASY.
I just cant 'understand' why you made that 'question', obviously it should be easy, is the 'person' who 'posted' this 'thread' a pro-lifer or? (or whatever tf a "pro lifer" is lol ew) I didnt ask to be born/exist at all, so why is this something obligatory? something that i have to do/experience/want/care about yes or yes uNleSs iTs BecAusE oF a ReAsOn/unLeSs iTs bEcAuSe iTs 'bAd' aNd oR a 'wAy' yOu dOnT lIkE iT/uNleSs iTs bEcAuSe yOurE nIhIliST/uNleSs yOu hAvE a 'bAd lIfE' [no i don't have a "bad life" at all lmfao and so what? why tf do i have to care and want to experience/live etc 'life' ALTHOUGH I JUST SIMPLY DONT CARE ABOUT IT however/whatever it is and simply just dont want to and never will? why do i have to 'care about' 'things' in general? Just because "people"/"human beings" say so/feel like it? What a fcking bullshit lmao. DYING/NOT EXISTING should be EASY and this shouldnt be ''doubted'' ffs if i didnt ask to 'exist' nor 'do' 'experience' anything nor be 'brought' anywhere at all, *I SHOULD be allowed to finally leave and NOT exist at all and i shouldnt 'stay' 'here' (nor anywhere else in general at all whatever/however it is) and continue 'existing' and having no choice but pretend that i want to 'experience'/'do' this and well, that i want to 'experience' 'things'/'something'/a 'thing' in general sigh.. I DONT AND NEVER WILL!!!! I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING FFS!!!!!!! (i dont want to 'experience' 'do' neither 'any of this'** {NOR ABSOLUTELY ANY OTHET 'THING/TYPE OF 'THING'/'PLACE'/TYPE OF 'PLACE' ETCETC IN GENERAL AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS FFS!!!!!} no matter what how the fck it is AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF 'LIFE' OR WHATEVER TF, ITS '''MEANINGLESS''' '''POINTLESS''' OR '''MEANINGFUL''' OR WHATEVER THE FUCK LMFAO IM NOT A ''NIHILIST'' OR WHATEVER TF THAT MEANS LOL i couldn't care any less if whatever fcking 'thing' is """"""meaningless""""""/""""""pointless"""""" and or any/whatever other """""""""negative""""""""" 'way'/type of 'thing' bla bla whatever tf nor if it's """""""meaningful""""""" and or any/whatever other """""""""positive"""""""" 'way'/'type' of 'thing' bla bla and or whatever tf lol i just dont give a sht. **nor literally ANYTHING else at all. *And having no choice but pretend again and again that i 'care' about 'life'/'things'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence' bla bla whatever tf uNleSs i dOnT bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn/'rEaSoNs', uNlEsS iTs 'bAd' aNd oR wHaTeVeR oThEr """""nEgAtIvE"""" 'wAy'/'typE oF wOrLd'/'tYpE oF pLaNeT'/'tYpE oF lIfE' and or whatever tf {i dont give a sht if whatever 'thing'/'place' or any other 'thing' of whatever type in general bla bla is any """"negative"""" or """"positive"""" 'way' lmfao i just simply DON'T care} and that im 'interested' in it and 'things', 'the world', 'planet earth', 'existence', bla bla UnleSs iTs 'bAd', uNlEsS i dOnT bEcAuSe Of A rEaSoN and blah blah or whatever tf, sigh. if I dont pretend theyll 'suspect' immediately and will make assumptions like that something "bad" 'happens' to 'me', that im "suffering", "depressed"' and or "bored" and or "empty" and or that 'i' have """""low self-esteem""""' (lmfao i dont have neither """low self-esteem""" nor any other fcking 'way'/'type' of 'self esteem' lmfao i just dont give a damn fcking sht about anything, anything/everything whatever/however it is/whatever type of 'thing'/'place' etcetc bla bla it is i just couldn't care less has never cared and never will and it's completely 'indifferent' to 'me' or whatever tf that means and that's fucking it and it's NOT because of any single damn 'reason' at all!!!) and or whatever other crap like that/in general that arent "true" AT ALL and would be 'sent' to a 'psychiatrist'/'psychologist' or whatever that is for NO REASON AT ALL although they'd assume that there's a reason/there are 'reasons' and all that crap and also would be insisting me to "tell" 'them' the """"""reason""""""/"""""reasons""""" [THERE ARENT ANY FOR FCKS SAKE!!!!!!] and id be forced into 'meds'/'therapy' and all that crap that ill NEVER 'want'/'need' at all.

'i' didnt ask to exist it was all the 'decision' of "others", not "mine", so if I simply just DON'T want to live/do/participate in/experience 'life' (nor any other thing whatever/however it is/it can be lol and no it's not because of any single fcking goddamn 'reason' of any type at all, whether you 'believe'/'understand' or not lmao and if you assume something I wont read it that's for sure lol it's obviously gonna be some assumption shit) no matter how it is/what there is/what it is about/how things are/how it works etcetc i SHOULD have the RIGHT to finally get out/leave/die/disappear/not exist at all/not be anything nor anyone at all ffs this shouldnt even be a ''discussion'', (or whatever the fck a "discussion" is lol) it should be 'OBVIOUS' and NOT 'doubted' that it should be a RIGHT. 'I' should be able to die WHENEVER 'I' WANT AND IT SHOULD BE EASY AND A RIGHT *****if i SIMPLY JUST DONT want to 'exist' nor give a damn shit about anything in general at all ffs no matter 'what'/'how' it is bla bla whatever (and dont want to want to and never will lmao why do i have to ffs, why cant i just not give a damn fcking sht about absolutely anything whatever/however tf it is and thats it ffs without it being because of a 'reason') and simply/literally just simply dont want to 'experience'/'do'/'bepartof'/'live' 'know'/'learn about'/'discover'/'explore'/'participate in'/'enjoy' etc etc bla bla nor basically any other 'action verb'/'type of verb' in general at all ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL IN GENERAL WHATEVER AND HOWEVER THE FUCK IT IS, neither 'this', 'any of this', NOR absolutely ANYTHING ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL NO MATTER WHAT AND HOW IT IS AND THATS BASICALLY IT. I DONT 'SAY' THIS bEcAuSe Of A rEAsON ffs, why the fck there has to be one lmfao just because a bunch of 'human beings'/'people' say so??? lol.


its NOT that ''''tHiS lIfE'''', ''''tHiSwOrLd'''', ''''tHiSplAnET'''', ''''tHiSpLaneT'''' (as if there were 'more' 'existences', 'lives', 'worlds', other/more 'lives' in other 'planets' and bla bla and or whatever tf lol i hope not. ffs i couldnt give any less of a shit 'what'/'how' whatever fcking 'thing' is jfc just let me finally die and not exist at all ffs, THATS THE ONLY THING I WANT AND WILL ALWAYS WANT AND WANT TO WANT. I DONT GIVE A DAMN FCKING SHT ABOUT ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING ELSE FFS, HAVE NEVER CARED AND NEVER WILL) Is tHe ''''''''pRoBlEm'''''''' aNd i wAnT aNotHer 'lIFE'/'wOrLd'/'pLanEt'/'eXiStEnCe'/'gAlAxY'/'uNiVeRsE' aNd oR wHaTeVeR oThEr ''aBstRaCt'|'mAtErIal' and or whatever tf/whatever other fcking 'way' 'tHiNg' aNd oR wHaTeVeR oThEr 'pLaCe' and or whatever tf oF oThEr 'wAyS'/'TyPeS' aNd oR wItH dIfFEreNt/oThEr 'tHiNgS' and or bla bla whatever tf // aNd oR bEcAuSe iTs tHiS Or tHaT wAy aNd tHiS oR tHat hApPeNs aNd oR tHeRe aRe ThInGs 'aBouT'/'fRoM' ''''tHiS lIfE''''/''''tHiS wOrLd''''/''''tHiS pLaNeT''''/''''tHiS eXiStEnCe'''' tHat ''''i dOnT lIkE''' aNd Or i 'DonT lIKe' wHat ThErE Is aNd oR wHat Its 'dOnE' aNd 'eXpEriEncEd' EtC aNd wHat cAn Be 'dOne' aNd 'ExPErIencEd' AnD oR iTs aBoUt tHiS oR tHaT aNd Or bEcAuSe iT wOrKs lIkE tHiS aNd NoT aNotHeR wAy ANd oR bEcAuSe ''hUmAnItY'' iS vErY 'cRuEl' (as if i gave a sht how 'humanity'/'society' and or whatever other fcking type of 'thing' or whatever tf is/isn't/can be etc bla bla lol i dont give a sht if its any/whatever """"positive"""" 'way' nor if it's whatever/any """"""negative"""""" 'way' lmfao) aNd wIsH tHeRe WaS aNotHeR 'sPecIeS' oF aNotHeR tYpe aNd oR bEcAuSe i DOnT likE tHat iTs lIkE thIS aNd NoT aNoThEr wAy aNd oR tHeRe ArEnT dIffEreNt tHinGs and Or bEcAuSe ''tHiS wOrLd'' (as if there are more 'worlds', ''differentworlds'' of 'another' 'way' 'type' and with 'different'/'other' 'things' and or whatever the fck lmfao i hope not ffs, i just want NON-EXISTENCE and literally NOTHING else ffs just let me finally die and not exist at all nor 'be' anything, anyone, anywhere at all ffs!!!!) iS a '''''bAd PlAcE''''' (lmfao as if i gave a shit how the fuck it is, what there is, what it has, what happens etc lmao. i dont give a fck if 'the world'/'planet earth' and or whatever other fcking 'thing'/'place' in general whatever tf [couldn't care any less lmfaoooooooo] is a """"'good' 'place'"""" or a """"""'bad' 'place'"""""" or whatever the fck lol. NO LMFAO IT'S NOT THAT CRAP, ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY OF THAT CRAP IVE 'WRITTEN' NOR BECAUSE OF ANY OTHER DAMN 'REASON' AT ALL. ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY OF THOSE 'REASONS' IVE 'WRITTEN' NOR BECAUSE OF LITERALLY ANY OTHER FUCKING GODDAMNED 'REASON' AT ALL FFS!!!! i dont only not want """"this life""""/""""this world""""/""""this planet""""/""""this existence""""** nor absolutely anything 'from'/'about' 'any of this'/'this'/'here' no matter 'what'/'how' it is neither what 'type' of 'thing'/'place' it is etcetc bla bla whatever tf nor what 'way' it is at all in general and dont give a sht if its any/whatever """""""positive""""""" 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' and or whatever tf bla bla etc or if if it's any/whatever """""""""negative"""""""" 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' and or whatever the fck bla bla etc lmfao I just couldn't care any less (lol the 'this' before the 'word' as if there were more/other 'worlds'/'lives'/'existences'/'consciousness'/'planets'/'galaxies'/'universes' and or whatever the fuck lol i HOPE NOT!!!!) (**NO MATTER 'how' tf 'they' and whatever other type of 'thing'/'planet' and or whatever tf is, no matter 'how' it 'works', no matter what 'there is'/'there can be', no matter 'what' it is about l, no matter 'what' 'happens' neither 'how' 'what' 'happens' is etcetc!!!!! NOT bEcAuSe oF tHe wAy iT iS/wHaT hApPeNs/wHaT iT iS aBoUt/HoW iT wOrKs/wHaT tHeRe iS bla bla etc NOR because of any other fcking 'reason' at all of literally any other 'type'/'kind' at all!!!) I DONT want literally/basically ANY other 'life'/type of 'life'/'world'/type of 'world'/'planet'/type of 'planet'/'existence'/type of 'existence'/'consciousness'/type of 'consciousness'/'galaxy'/type of 'galaxy'/'universe'/type of 'universe' from ANYWHERE ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL no matter at all 'how' tf it is/what there is etcetcetc bla bla whatever NOR LITERALLY ANY OTHER SINGLR FCKING TYPE OF 'THING' thats 'imaginable' and 'unimaginable' of literally ANY type/kind/way at all in general NO matter 'what'/'how' it is etc and dont want absolutely ANYTHING in general at all of literally any type, any way, any kind, any form etc whatever/however it is 'about'/'from' ANY other 'world'/'life'/'planet'/'existence'/'consciousness'/'galaxy'/'universe' nor literally/definitely/basically anything/anywhere else AT ALL // NOR any other 'thing'/'place' of literally ANY other 'types'/'dimensions'/'forms'/'ways'/'shapes' etc bla bla whatever tf NOR absolutely/literally ANYTHING else in general at all ANYWHERE ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL of any type/kind/way at all no matter 'what'/'how' it is etc, whether it's 'imaginable'/'thinkable'/'reachable' to 'hUmAn' 'iMaGinAtIon' or whatever tf that means lol 'for' "humans" and or whatever tf or it's 'unimaginable'/""bEyOnD 'hUmAn'S 'lImItS' oF 'iMaGinAtiOn'|""eXiStEncE""|""rEaLitY""|wHaT tHeRe 'eXiStS'|wHaT tHeRe iS|tHeRe iSnt|tHeRe cAn Be// 'bEyOnd' OuR "kNoWlEdGe"/"uNdErStaNdInG"/"pErCEpTioN"" oF 'wHaT' 'eXisTs'/'eHaT' 'tHeRe iS' (like 'the' '''universe'''/'''galaxy''' or whatever tf that's called lol) I DONT WANT AND NEVER WILL ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FFS. I just fucking dont jfc why the damn fck do 'i' fucking have to yes or yes UnlEsS i dOnT bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn/bEcAuSe oF hOw iT iS/bEcAuSe iTs 'tHiS' aNd 'tHiS wAy' aNd NoT 'tHaT' aNoThEr wAy/bEcAuSe iTs "bAd" aNd oR bEcAuSe oF wHatEvEr|aNy oThEr 'rEaSoN'/'rEaSoNs' bUt bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn yEs Or YeS, tHeReS aN 'eXpLanAtIoN' fOr tHaT yEs oR yEs aNd iTs tHe cOnSeQuEnCe oF 'sOmEtHinG' yEs oR yEs. why for fuck's sake why??!!!!??? I just simply cant fcking understand why cant i simply just not give not even a single damn fucking shit about anything and don't want anything AT ALL OF ABSOLUTELY ANY TYPE NOR WAY AT ALL WHATEVER/HOWEVER TF IT IS ETC WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF A FUCKING DAMN 'REASON' OR 'REASONS' AND THATS IT lmao but well. to not be suspicious and assumed to 'be' "depressed" and or whatever the damn fck and to not 'be' 'taken'/'sent' to a 'psychiatrist'/'psychologist' or whatever tf that shit is 'against' my fcking 'will' FOR NO REASON AT ALL (although theyd be assuming and insisting that theres a reason/that it's bc of a reason yes or yes lmao sigh what a damn fcking bullshit that this and or whatever tf is an obligation ffs why cant i just not give a fucking damn shit about absolutely anything and simply don't want to 'exist' at all as anything at all anywhere at all nor fucking 'experience'/'be part of'/'participate in' blablabla etcetc whatever tf LITERALLY ANYTHING, ANY DAMN FUCKING 'THING'/'PLACE' AND OR WHATEVER TF WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS AND THATS FUCKING IT FFS?????!!!!!! sigh. it's so damn fucking frustrating that it fucking has to be because of a reason yes or yes jfc just let me finally not exist at all and for not 'be' anything anyone anywhere etc at all for fucks sake!!!!


*****Or the other case, the case of literally everyone else including 'nihilists'/'antinatalists' or whatever that means, if they're suffering/have a 'reason why'/'bad life' blah blah blah) and an ABSOLUTE RIGHT (the only right/freedom I want and will always lmao, i dont give a damn fucking sht about the rest/anything|everything else lmfao) to DIE/DISAPPEAR/NOT EXIST AT ALL if i simply just dont want to live/experience 'life' ((in my case it's not that I dont want ""because im suffering""/""because of a reason in general"", I simply just DONT nor any other type of thing at all whatever/however it is BECAUSE I SIMPLY JUST DONT (and NOT because of any fucking 'reason' [why the fck there has to be a 'reason' lmao i didn't ask to be 'born'/exist/be 'brought' anywhere nor be anything at all, it was all against my will/inevitably/forcedly and now I even have to have a fcking reason to not want to/to die/to disappear/to not exist/to be able to get the fck out and finally not exist at all and not be anywhere/anything/anyone at all in non-existence/nothingness. What a damn fcking bullsht then. this (nor any other type of thing/place nor whatever the fuck whatever/however it is) SHOULDN'T be an obligation. Just saying that i didnt ask to be 'here' nor anywhere else nor 'be'/'become' anything/anyone at all nor 'experience' anything nor be 'brought' to anywhere at all of any kind/type/way whatever/however it is and it was all against my fcking will/forcedly should already be enough to say that it OBVIOULSY/WITHOUT ANY DOUBT should be easy. I dont give a damn sht if 'life'/'living' is "hard" or "easy" or whatever the fuck lol, 'my life' isnt "hard" nor "sad" nor "painful" nor "bad" nor "miserable" and I couldnt give any less of a fuck lmfao. And if it's """"boring"""" and """"useless"""" or whatever tf that means I dont give not even a single fcking sht lmao. 'life'/'living' isnt "hard" nor "bad" nor "painful" for 'me' (and I couldn't care any less lol, i dont give a damn fck if 'life'/'living' is "easy", "hard" or whatever the damn fck lol), I simply just dont give a sht and simply literally just dont want to experience 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth' (NOT "because of how/the way it is", I couldnt care less what/how whatever thing is/can be neither what there is/there can be neither what happens etc. I just have never wanted/dont want/never will want (and dont want to want at all lmao) absolutely ANYTHING at all and thats it, it's NOT because of any single damn 'reason' at all. So just because Im not 'suffering' and dont have a """bad life""" and i dOnT hAvE aNy rEaSoN, I dont have the right to die? wtf lmao of course i SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO FINALLY LEAVE. i didnt ask to be 'born' anywhere at all nor be 'brought' anywhere/to any type of 'thing'/'place' etc, I DIDNT ask to 'exist', to 'be'/'become' 'something', I DIDNT 'ask' to 'experience'/'participate in'/'be part of' absolutely anything at all, not only 'this' 'thing' called 'life'/'human life'/'life 'on earth'' but absolutely any other thing in general, anything else in general at all of any other 'type' nor 'way' no matter what and how it is so 'I' should have EASY ACCESS TO NONEXISTENCE AND ETERNAL ABSOLUTE NOTHINGNESS. it should be even more than easy. I dont give a shit if you 'think' that wanting death to be something easy to achieve is 'cHiLdIsH', 'iMmAtUrE' or whatever tf that means lmfao, as if i gave a shit if its """childish""" or whatever the fuck, I never asked for anything in general at all and if I simply just dont want to exist and if I simply literally just dont give a damn fucking shit about anything in general at all, whatever/however the fuck it is and simply just dont want to 'experience', 'participate in', 'do', 'live', 'be part of', 'enjoy', 'know' etc etc any fucking damn type of 'thing'/'place' etc bla bla nor whatever tf no matter what and how tf it is. i should have the RIGHT to DIE AND FINALLY DISAPPEAR FOREVER, FOR ALL ETERNITY AND JUST NOT EXIST AT ALL!!!! (I dont want neither "life 'on earth'" nor in any other 'world'/'planet' nor absolutely/literally/basically anywhere else at all no matter what/how it is, I just simply dont ffs i can't understand what's so """strange""" about this lmfao I didn't ask to exist and anyways this is even """""unthinkable"""""/"""""rational""""""/""""""logical"""""" forliterally(or whatever the damn fck all those 'words' mean lol, I couldnt give any less of a shit if 'people' say that lmfaoooo)


I never asked for absolutely anything at all and if 'I' just simply dont want to nor absolutely any other type of thing at all WITHOUT IT BEING BECAUSE OF ANY FUCKING DAMN 'REASON'. i just fucking dont and thats it, and this shouldnt be like a fucking 'prison' where you cant escape jUsT bEcAuSe yOu wEre bOrN sO nOw yOu HaVe tO eXpErIencE tHiS aNd wAnT tO exPeRIencE tHiS, iF yOu dOnT iTs bEcAuSe yOuRe 'uNhApPy'/'uNsAtIsFieD'/'dIsApPIntEd' wItH 'yOuR lIFE'/'LiFe' iN GenErAl/'tHe wORld' aNd oR bEcAuSe YOurE sUfFeRiNg aNd oR wHaTeVeR oThEr rEaSoN buT bEcAuSe oF a rEaSoN. ((**no LMFAO it's not because of that nor literally because of absolutely any other single fcking reason lmfao im neither """"unhappy"""" nor """"happy"""", neither """""unsatisfied"""" nor """"""satisfied""""", nor """""disappointed""""" nor any other fcking """"""negative""""""/""""""positive"""""" 'way' about not only 'my life'/'life'/'the world' no matter how tf it is etc bla bla whatever tf but absolutely ANYTHING ELSE IN GENERAL AT ALL of any other type/way in general at all no matter what/how it is etc lol i couldn't care any less lol I simply just dont give a fucking shit, i dont have any """""negative""""" nor """""positive""""" 'opinion'/'position'/'perspective'/'point of view' or whatever tf that means about ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING/ANYONE ETC IN GENERAL AT ALL NO MATTER 'WHAT')'HOW' ETC IT IS NEITHER WHAT 'TYPE' OF 'THING' IT IS NEITHER WHAT WAY and I'm not ""suffering"" at all about ABSOLUTELY anything in general at all of literally any type/way lol in any fucking way, ITS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY REASON AT ALL!!!!))

i dont want to 'experience' neither 'any of this' no matter how the fuck it is, what the fuck there is, neither how/what it is about, how it works, how the fuck things are, what its what i 'can' 'do'/'experience' etcetc and basically no matter what in general, i just dont want anything. Neither 'any of this', ''anything from 'here'''' NOR from absolutely/literally anything, anywhere else at all. i wish I never had to 'know' the 'meaning' of absolutely any fcking 'word'/'thing' but well im trapped in a 'human body'/'brain' and also trapped in 'existence'/'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'consciousness' or whatever 'all this' is called that it's obligatory. And i just have no way out so.. and to not be suspicious I have no choice but 'do' these 'things' "humans"/"people" do lol... Sigh. how much 'i' wasn't any "I" at all nor absolutely any other type of "entity" nor "life form" nor "living being" nor "living creature" nor "species" nor absolutely any other single type of thing imaginableandunimaginable and that 'I' was just nothing at all. wow, 'i' wish lol. "YoU wErE yOu wErE nOtHinG bEcAuSe yOurE sUfFeRiNg aNd iF yOu aReNt aNytHiNg aNd DoNt eXisT yOu dOnT sUfFeR" no lmfaoooo it's not because of that crap lol I'm NOT "suffering" at all in any damn 'way' at all about anything at all in general and its not any type of 'suffering' at all. it's not because of that reason or whatever tf "reason" means NOR because of absolutely/literally ANY other fcking 'reason'/'reasons' at all ffs!!!! I just simply DONT and NEVER will and thats fucking basically it, whether it's 'believed'/'understood' or not.

But well no matter how many times i try to 'explain'/'say' that THERE IS LITERALLY NO 'reason' at all of absolutely ANY type/kind/way at all, there will be assumptions lmao, this simply just isnt comprehensible (I'll never understand why but okay i guess ) for anyone at all whether they are suicidal or not, 'pro-life' or not. So, a summary: OF COURSE IT SHOULD BE EASY/A RIGHT. and I don't give a sht if it's """"childish""""/""""immature"""" or however tf (as if i cared if it's """childish"""/"""immature""" or whatever that means lmao) but yes definitely it should be as easy as pushing a button, or even easier, why is this even being discussed? Lol. Of course it should be easy, not just 'easy', more than easy. It should be a right and anyone should have the RIGHT do die whenever they want, if I simply want (my case) or people are suffering/have a "reason why" etc (NOT my case at all). Ffs of course it should be easy i just can't comprehend how tf is this being discussed lmao like of course? I didnt ask to be 'born' at all/be 'brought' to anywhere at all, im just 'here' because I had no choice and "I" was taken/'brought' 'here' (i neither want to 'be' 'here' nor anywhere else lol I just simply dont, oh no here it comes the assumptions.. I guess I'll have to delete this post or else Ill even be banned for no reason at all because it's ""not possible""/""irrational""/""illogical"" to want to die / to not want to 'exist'/'live', 'do', 'experience' 'explore', 'participate in', 'be part of' etc 'life'/'the world'/'existence'/'planet earth' blah blah (nor any other 'thing'/'place' whatever/however it is) iF iTs nOt bEcAuSe oF a ReAsoN  why there has to be a 'reason'/'reasons'? Why can't i literally just simply dont AND THATS IT without it being bEcAusE oF a ReAsOn? I just- i just can't fucking comprehend but well. this will always continue being an obligation and will always continue being so fucking hard to finally leave and not exist at all if i just simply literally just want to (my case) or "im" 'suffering"/"because of a reason" etc (NOT my case at all, the case of literally everyone else in general, but NOT mine.)

And I dont want to ""develop"" nor ""grow"" nor ""evolve"" nor ""progress"" nor ""advance"" or whatever the damn fck all sht that means lmfaoooo (nor any other type of 'verb'/'thing', much less anything "positive" lol ew why tf do i have to just because 'i' 'exist'/'was' 'born' or whatever tf that 'means' and 'im' 'something'/'someone' and had no fcking choice but be 'brought' to 'existence' and whatever 'all' 'this' 'is' 'inevitably'|'forcedly'? lmao) as a "person" nor as anything else lmao why the fck do 'i' have to want that crap or any/whatever other 'thing' in general lmao, what if I simply just dony give a damn single sht not only about any of that """""positive""""" crap but absolutely/literally anything else in general at all much less anything of whatever """""positive""""" 'way'/'type'/'adjective' lmao [as if i gave a sht if it's """"""positive"""""" or """"""negative"""""" or whatever tf lmaooooo]. i dont want to 'be' any fucking damn '''''positive''''' 'way'/'thing' at all whatever tf it is nor 'have'/'do' ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY FUVKING DAMN TYPE/WAY AT ALL NO MATTER WHAT/HOW IT IS FOR FUCKS SAKE MUCH LESS ANY FUCKING ''''''POSITIVE'''''' THING/'TYPE' OF 'THING' WHATEVER/HOWEVER THE FUCK IT IS. I dont give a damn fcking sht about absolutely/literally any 'aspect' of 'life' nor absolutely anything in general at all of any fucking type whatever/however it is lol, i just dont give a fcking damn sht.

I dont care if you complain about my post or dont believe it and or delete it, just dont 'answer' to my 'post' because whatever its what you 'write' will be an assumption. I just can't understand why it shouldnt be easy. What a fcking shit that it isnt. And much less easy it'll be if there are "people" who say that it shouldn't be, fuck pro-lifers or whatever tf that crap means. im not ''suffering'' nor literally any other '''''bad''''' /'''''negative''''' thing nor 'feeling' any ''''''negative''''''' way' (and i couldnt give any less of a shit lmfao. its not that 'im' '''''dissatisfied'''''' and or ''''''unhappy''''''' and or ''''''disappointed'''''' and or whatever/any other ''''''''bad/negative''''''''' 'way' with 'mylife'/'life'/'theworld'/'planet earth' and or whatever the fuck lmfao. no, im neither '''''''dissatisfied'''''''' nor ''''''''satisfied''''''''', neither ''''''''''unhappy'''''''''''' nor ''''''''happy''''''''' (and dont want to be 'happy' or whatever tf that '''positive'''' way/''mood''/way' of 'being'/'feeling' means lmfao, nor literally any other fucking '''''positive'''''' way/''mood''/thing/''way'of'being''/adjective' bla bla and all that fucking crap of literally any fucking damn 'type' in general at all lmfao. ive simply never fucking wanted, dont want to and never will lol. nor literally anything else in general at all of any type at all, whatever/however it is etc lmfao and its not because of any damn fucking 'reason'. Lmao why the fuck do 'i' have to want to yes or yes just because 'all' of 'you' and literally everyone else in general whether theyre pro life or not, suicidal or not etcetc want lol doesnt mean i have to want to too. i couldnt give any less of a damn fucking shit if everyone in general except 'me' cares about 'life'/'existence'/'things'/'theworld' etcetc blah blah uNleSs iTs AnY/wHatEvEr '''''''nEgAtIvE'/'bAd''''''' 'wAy', uNlEsS tHeReS a ReAsOn wHy and bla bla. lmfao i dont give a damn fucking shit I just literally simply dont fucking want any fucking damn thing whatever/however the damn fck it is of any single fcking type and thats fucking it and its not because of any damn fucking goddamn 'reason' jfc, why there has to be one lmfao, why cant I simply just NOT 'have' NOR 'want to have' any fucking damn 'interest' or whatever tf that means, lol in/for/about ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL REGARDLESS THE FCKING WAY IT IS, WHAT AND HOW IT IS AND THE 'TYPE' OF 'THING' 'PLACE' ETC BLA BLA THAT IT IS!!!! for fucks sake why isnt that possible without it being because of a fucking reason lmao. just because 'people'/'human beings' or whatever that is and means 'say' so and feel like it?lol shut the fuck up and let 'me' finally DISAPPEAR AND NOT EXIST AT ALL FOR FUCKS SAKE NOTHING SHOULD BE AN OBLIGATION!!!!!

-> [continuation of 'some' 'phrase' 'above' , i dont fcking want to have to 'read' everything 'again' so] (neither ''''''disappointed'''''' NOR literally ANY other '''''''positive'''''''' ''''''negative''''''' 'way' 'mood' about neither 'my life' nor 'life' nor 'the world' nor 'planet earth' nor 'existence' in general no matter how tf it is etc nor literally/absolutely anything else in general at all lmao im not any fucking damn ''''''positive'''''' nor '''''''negative''''''' 'way'/'mood'/'type' of 'way'|'thing' about literally absolutely basically any single fucking damn thing at all of any fucking 'type'/'way' whatever and however the fuck it is etc lmfao. i just dont give not even a single fucking damn shit and never will, no matter what 'type' of 'thing' 'place' etc whatever tf is neither 'what' nor 'how' nor 'where' etc it is lol.

I dont want 'my life'/'life' in general/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence' nor absolutely any single damn fuvking thing else in general at all of any other type etc to be any fucking damn 'way'/'type' of 'life''/'world'/'existence'/'planet'/'consciousness' NOR ABSOLUTELY ANY OTHER SINGLE DAMN 'THING' IN LITERALLY ANY FUCKING WAY NOR TYPE WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS LMFAO i just fucking dont. i dont want to 'live'/'experience'/'enjoy'/'do' etc neither 'my life' nor 'life' in general or how 'people' call it, ''''''''this life'''''' (as if there are more 'lives' in other 'planets', other/more 'existences'/'worlds'/'galaxies'/'universes'/'consciousnesses' or whatever tf thats called and or whatever wherever the fuck lmfaooooo. i hope not lol, i just want LITERAL ETERNAL ABSOLUTE ENDLESS NON-EXISTENCE AND PURE, ABSOLUTE, COMPLETE, ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS FOR FUCKS SAKE I DONT GIVE and never will lol A SINGLE FUCKING DAMN SHIT ABOUT ABSOLUTELY/LITERALLY ANY FUCKING 'THING' IN GENERAL AT ALL WHETHER ITS 'IMAGINABLE' OR NOT ETC LMFAO I SIMPLY JUST DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT ANYTHING EXACTLY, LITERALLY, BASICALLY, ABSOLUTELY, ANY SINGLE FUCKING DAMN 'THING' IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY FUCKING DAMN 'TYPE'/'WAY' NO FUCKING MATTER 'WHAT' AND 'HOW' IT IS FOR FUCKS SAKE AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF LITERALLY ANY DAMN FUCKING 'REASON' LOL) nor any other 'life'/'type' of 'life' whatever/however/wherever it is etc anywhere in general at all nor literally anything else at all of any type whatever however etc it is etc IN ANY FUCKING 'WAY' AT ALL IN GENERAL FOR FUCKS SAKE I JUST FUCKING DONT. 'i'dontfuckingwantandneverwillanyfuckingdamn'life'-nor literally any other single thing of any type/way at all no matter what/how it is etc, whether is or isnt ''beyond'' 'humans' ''imagination'' and ''perception'' and ''consciousness'' and ''understanding'' and ''concepts'' or whatever tf all that means lmfao i just literally dont want absolutely anything at all no matter what and how the fuck it is jesus fcking christ and i simply never will and its not because of any single damn 'reason' of any type at all, whether you all 'believe' and 'understand' or not and thats basically it, there isnt any fucking damn 'reason' at all and will never be any single one) of literally ANY fucking 'type' nor 'way' at all, no matter 'how' neither 'where' neither 'when' it is lmfao.

I dont give not even a single fcking shit how tf 'my life'/'life' in general and whatever any other/anything everythingelse in general of whatever/any type and way whatever/however it is is I dont give not even a single fucking shit if 'my life'/'life' in general, or ''''thislife'''' as 'people' call it as if there were more lives lol i hope not I DONT WANT ABSOLUTELY ANY FUCKING THING AT ALL IN GENERAL OF LITERALLY ANY FUCKING DAMN 'TYPE' 'WAY' NO MATTER WHAT/HOW IT IS ETC AT ALL FOR FUCKS SAKE. I JUST ONLY WANT NONEXISTENCE/NOTHINGNESS FOR FUCKS SAKE AND NOTHING FUCKING ELSE AT ALL) and basically any other 'life' wherever the fuck of whatever other way if there were more lol i hope not and basically anything else in generalof whatever/any fucking damn type/way etc nomatter what how it is is whatever any ''''''''positive'/'good''''''''' 'way' 'type' of 'life' and or whatever other fcking 'thing' of any whatever type etc or if its whatever/any ''''''''''negative'/'bad''''''''''' 'way' lmfao I simply couldnt give any fucking damn less of a fuck

Seriously, what kind of 'question' is that lmao just let me finally NOT EXIST AT ALL/NOT BE ANY 'SOMETHING'/'SOMEONE' AT ALL/NOT BE ANYWHERE AT ALL/NOT 'EXPERIENCE' ANYTHING AT AL for fuck's sake. Please dont make any assumptions. Im not gonna 'read' them anyway lmao. 'i' 'guess' that 'some' of the 'posts' 'above' are 'answers' to my 'previous' 'post' and 'im' 'sure' it's definitely assumptions lol I'm glad I haven't 'read' them and 'quickly' 'scrolled down' 'while' 'looking' 'away' lol

 

[WornOutLife]

People smell really bad in public and transport, especially on buses and trains.

For that reason, I prefer to walk lol

 

[Manaaja]

I have read studies that non-good-looking and/or short people are treated worse by other people (horn effect) and have a higher risk of suicide. Intelligence also increases suicide risk according to studies. Being non-hetero and/or non-cis is also a risk, the same with asperger or/and autism, in this cruel world. Now, I don't want to make any guesses, but... you know.... The chances that the person reading this is at least one of these things:

short (though in a way, shortness doesn't exist, because height is always relative, a human who is 100 cm is bigger than most animals in the world)
not good-looking or not conventionally attractive (think 6/10 or less, and remember, you aren't ugly, others are too good-looking!)
intelligent (think 110 IQ or higher)
part of LGBTIA (self-explanatory)
non-normie-typical (has asperger or autism)

are pretty high.

 

[Rue89]

So my mom and I decided to watch a Christmas movie, and she picked It's A Wonderful Life. I know it's her favorite movie, but I also feel like she was trying to make a point to me with it. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, I don't know.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've been done with school for a week with nothing to show for it. Applied to one job and they actually quickly responded asking for me to set off an interview but I've been putting off responding because...I don't know. It just feels too soon. I'm also procrastinating on other things even though I have free time now. It's so weird. I'm finally free from the stress of education. I'm kind of an idiot so I always hated learning new things. Getting my degree is just something I did to get my mom to stop complaining. Now that I have all this freedom though it feels so daunting, like the freedom itself is becoming a new prison for me by overwhelming me with choices I don't want to take. Why can't sitting around and watching tv all day be a real job? It's all I like to do now.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Just woke up to my phone ringing after going to bed at dawn, with a vague recollection of waiting for some important call I shouldn't miss, even though I didn't quite remember what exactly it was. I pick up the phone, and the guy on the other side tells me he's from the "xxx" chem shop and in dissonantly chirpy tone informs me that the payment for my SN order was successfully processed and they are sending it over to me, I just need to confirm that my last name I specified on their site is correct (I have a letter that kind of seems out of place in it, but it is how it's spelled), so I can pick my order at the mail. Man was it easy, and the guy I just spoke to is obviously completely unaware of the fact he just sold me my sweet, sweet bus ticket.
I've never felt this close to the goal since that one attempt that left me with brain damage. I mean I did hope it was my last day on earth, but knowing just how bad I was at hanging I was always kind of ready to fail. And now I am waiting on something fairly foolproof. I feel so damn relieved.

 

[http-410]

Every time I cross that bridge, I get a strong urge not to give a f and to jump down, even I don't consider jumping.

I'm getting impatient.

 

[Phill]

I just found out that one of the few friends I have is an ungrateful bitch.

There's an old joke: "I've felt much better since I gave up hope." I think there might be much truth to it. I'm convinced that If I lose all hope, it will become easier for me to cope. The big question is of course, when will I lose all hope?

It worked for me. I think it's a little paradoxical, though. I mean, you lose hope and start feeling better because you just don't care anymore, but when you start feeling better, you automatically start rebuilding your hopes, and once you have your hopes back, it becomes harder to cope again. It's a strange cycle. but, of course, these are only my personal impressions.

 

[Sensei]

I'm feeling empty no matter what I do. It's like there's a black hole in my chest. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I love modern corporate culture. I have two Skype conversations, one is my manager forcing me to desperately try to prove that the campaign didn't fail because of me, but it did because we made a completely unattainable promise to a client, because if i don't prove it they'll fire me. And the other is about playing secret Santa and they don't even let me opt out! Well thank you, you already made my Christmas by threatening to fire me and making me actively suicidal! No need to get me any other present, my SN is already in the mail. Damn hypocrites that will run me over to cover their asses, and still pretend to be this friendly team that wants to play secret Santa with me. Seriously...

 

[throwaway123]

Some of us are simply born to suffer.

 

[Sensei]

Everything has turned grey and it happened so quickly that I never saw it coming.

 

[http-410]

I'm afraid my bus ticket is stuck somewhere. Its position hasn't changed since last week...

 

[http-410]

I wish I could just escape from everything and everyone. I want to get on a rocket and just fly to the nearest habitable planet.

My ticket is supposed to arrive soon. I have been wondering for days what the point of getting up is when I could just leave everything behind at any moment.

I feel sick. I don't know what to do. Yes, I do. But I don't want to. It's always the same. How I would like to leave it to someone to end my existence.

 

[signifying nothing]

The Gutenberg Parenthesis.

 

[foxdie]

I was just thinking about my imposter syndrome. Then I thought I might be exaggerating it and I don't actually have imposter syndrome. I had imposter syndrome for my imposter syndrome. I need to shut off my brain.

 

[Sherri]

Not in the mood for Christmas at all this year. Just wish I slept it through from tomorrow till the 26.

 

[http-410]

So... it's finally here. Since I barely slept, I'm so numb that I don't feel anything. I need to use my sleeping pills sparingly. I wish I could sleep now. The only thing I have to be afraid is existing and dying. I don't need to be afraid of law or the police anymore. It's all up to me now. I guess I'm a tad overwhelmed.

What an odyssey. For some time now I've been in the middle of the ocean on a sinking ship that I can no longer steer. I have no idea where I am. But I know that I will never reach the land again. It's now a matter of time before I decide to abandon this ship. I don't know if I'm able to wait for it to sink on its own. Deep, uncharted waters frighten me.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I regret eating these cookies. Ugh.