Random thoughts

[Sherri]

Random thoughts, I wish I had access to N.

 

[http-410]

Somewhere between "too numb to do anything" and "numb enough to do everything".

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I thought I was almost guaranteed to graduate but I've been getting fucked last minute by my capstone exam. I guess that's what I get for having none of this information sink in. If it really goes bad, maybe I'll ctb sooner since I won't have to worry about finding a job at all. Wouldn't that be nice?

Once again, my major has managed to prove how totally BS it is by giving me passing grades all around.

 

[http-410]

They banned my account... I don't know why, probably because of Tor but what am I supposed to do now?

Damn, I need it now. There's nothing else I can do.

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

I like the Covid crisis because it gives me an excuse to not do stuff.

Stuff I don't want to do:
1. Go out with "friends."
2. Have people over to my house.
3. Go into stores to look for things.
4. Go pick up groceries. (But I have to, so thanks Walmart for outside pickup.)
5. Go see my doctor or dentist.
6. Work on hobbies that I've totally lost interest in.
7. Basically anything but read and sleep.

 

[KleinerWolf]

My life is a joke.
I would be laughing right now if it's someone else's life.

or feel bad.

meh.

 

[Sensei]

My life is a joke.

I think so about my life at times too. The problem is that we compare ourselves with others. If we just looked at ourselves we would suffer less.

I would be laughing right now if it's someone else's life.

or feel bad.

meh.

I don't believe you. I'm sure you would feel compassion.

 

[throwaway123]

I'm done with this shit. I'm killing myself next chance I get.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I think so about my life at times too. The problem is that we compare ourselves with others. If we just looked at ourselves we would suffer less.



I don't believe you. I'm sure you would feel compassion.

Yeah true.
I would only laugh at myself.

Regarding comparison,
I came across a documentary by Alan watts and he said,
"without others you don't realise who you are"

 

[Manaaja]

I always wondered why religions taught that the following things were evil:

pre-marital sex
music
eating pork
jewelry/make-up/adorning yourself
alcohol
atheism

Now I know. And I agree. When I think of a person who is like the list describes, I see a young, stupid teen girl putting on make-up and jewelry, going to a bar to find a "meat-eating" man. Drinks so much, she's nothing more than an alcohol filled fleshlight. Comes back to the apartment. Has loud sex that wakes everyone up and is disgusting to listen to. Then starts blasting music. When the neighbors try to ask her to please be quiet and nice, she is too atheist to fear hell and eternal suffering, even though she is literally a satan creating a living hell right there and then.

If people were really, really religious, they'd fear Hell. If they feared Hell, they'd live a peaceful life. If they lived a peaceful life, the neighbors would be happy. If people were happy, the world would be a better place. The world cannot be a happy place, unless people live in constant fear and self-doubt. Everyone needs to be a socially anxious coward who will sob in fear quietly and alone in the corner.

The second a person doesn't live in fear, they live in sin. Sin of course meaning doing things that are objectively bad and wrong and immoral (robbing someone, not being quiet, not taking other people into consideration, driving recklessly, breaking good laws).

Fear is the only thing humans bow to. Fear is the only thing preventing humans from committing crimes.

 

[http-410]

I think one can call that a crisis.

I wish I could ctb right now, everything doesn't matter, but I'm too fatigued to go somewhere, I'm shivering and sweating, lockdown is messing with my brain, mind and body are trapped. Can't wait for SN, I just can't. I want to rip this head off, I'm going crazy.

 

[WornOutLife]

Even though I wanna CTB, I hate the fact that I will never see the human reaching Mars and Elon Musk being considered the closest being to God lol

 

[Fehler]

I would love to see some irrefutable proof that there is intelligent life in space before i died

 

[omoidarui]

i just saw a Naturo advert and thought it said Naruto

 

[behemoth]

I wish there was a button that could instantly kill me because I didn't know it was this hard.
I wish I wasn't this sensitive to failures as I am to life in general. I don't care about these goals yet I react so badly whenever there's bad news. I'm tired of being tired.

 

[stygal]

Even though I wanna CTB, I hate the fact that I will never see the human reaching Mars and Elon Musk being considered the closest being to God lol

I hate this smug mofo.
He thinks of himself as this great sCiEnTiSt... all he is is a businessman.
I'd love to see actual scientists get more funding for space traveling.

 

[throwaway123]

I hate this smug mofo.
He thinks of himself as this great sCiEnTiSt... all he is is a businessman.
I'd love to see actual scientists get more funding for space traveling.

This.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I hate this smug mofo.
He thinks of himself as this great sCiEnTiSt... all he is is a businessman.
I'd love to see actual scientists get more funding for space traveling.

He's such an ass. But he's totally cool because he tweets memes or something like that

 

[Lefty]

Just feeling meh.

 

[Going Home]

Health care services are a joke.

I can't and won't wait a year or longer.

I would definitely agree healthcare svce are a joke!

 

[NodusTollens]

I feel fundamentally unloveable. I feel like I've lived my life trying to find someone to accept me as I am. In doing so I've fallen into traps, created situations I felt I couldn't escape, & stayed in abusive codependent relationships, one of which resulted in my being sexually then later physically assaulted by a bf (months apart).

I have never really dated in the traditional sense & when I tried (as in first time) I became so fearful that the individual would assault me (we were talking in their car, then they pulled into a dark empty parking lot), that I initiated physical intimacy out of fear- not desire.

I haven't tried to date since, that was 2 years ago.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've been getting dangerously into romanticizing territory. I already went through this before so why is this happening again? I hate these feelings of mine I wish I could destroy this monster.

 

[http-410]

I feel like I'm intoxicated.

There's nothing on my mind except ctb.

At least I slept okay today.

 

[Rue89]

My mom just came into my room to show me something. As she left I realized I had SS on my phone in plain sight the whole time. Fuck that was a scary feeling for a moment. I know she would've said something immediately if she had seen it.

 

[http-410]

I want to bang my head against the wall until my brain spill out, but I'm too numb. Lockdown is driving me crazy.

 

[signifying nothing]

The games we play.

 

[AbsoluteNothingness]

'i' 'post' 'this' 'here' because if I post it in the 'original' 'thread' the 'op' or whatever tf that means/is will delete it just like they did last time lol, it's not a "random" "thought" [i dont want to 'think' any damn 'thing' in general at all never wanted never will but well if 'I' have no fcking choice but to] it's an 'answer' to the 'thread' "Are you a NEET? (regardless of pandemic)"

'Some' 'words' arelikethis bc well 'i' 'wrote' 'this' in the 'notes' 'app' and it has 'character' 'limit' or whatever tf that is and couldnt 'separate' the 'words' and 'here' I 'havent' 'neither' 'except' for 'some' of 'them' bc i simply just dont fucking want to lol. Some 'phrases' are 'unfinished'/'incomplete' or whatever tf that means so pls dont 'assume' anything, bc whatever tf it is would definifely be an assumption. (Even if everything is 'finished'/'complete' there would be assumptions anyway lol)





PROUDLY (and NOT ""embarrassed""/""ashamed""/""worried""/""affected""/""sad""/""depressed"" absolutely at all or whatever tf all those 'words' mean nor any other """negative""" 'way'/'adjective'/'mood' blabla whatever tf that is like that at all lol why tf would i) yes, im a neet** [and wish i could always be it and never 'do' any fucking damn type of 'thing' at all lol, well, basically i wish that 'i' didnt exist at all and was finally NOTHING at all for all eternity but well, unfortunately it's so fucking damn hard to die/stop existing/disappear/leave so..] ((or whatever the fuck that 'word' means that apparently is """""negative""""" lmao i dont give not even a single fucking sht if it's """""negative""""" or whateverthefucklmao Im proud of being a 'neet' and i don't give not even a single fucking shit if 'Im' """""lazy""""" and or """""useless""""" [[or whatever the damn fck those """""negative""""" 'ways'/'ways of 'being''/'adjectives' are lmfao couldn't give any less of a sht]] or whatever/any other """""""negative""""""" 'way' lol as if that ''''worried'''' 'me' or '''''affect''''' 'me' lmfao. i dont want to 'do' any fucking damn shit in general at all of any type any way etc whatever/however it is etc, and dont want to 'be' (never wanted never will and that's fucking it and its not because of any damn 'reason' AT ALL, whether it's 'believed'/'understood' or not) of any fucking ''use'' of any type at all for anything at all or whatever tf that crap means lmao. I couldn't give any less of a shit abt absolutely anything for fuck's sake and i simply never will lol why tf is that a fucking obligation? Why cant i simply just not want anything at all and simply just not want to 'exist' as/in anything/anywhere, any fucking damn 'thing', any fucking damn 'place' etcetc at all whatever/however it is 'from' whatever 'type'/'way' it is etc and just simply not want to 'experience' any single damn fcking 'thing' ffs? why isn't that possible lol, just because 'humans'/'people' 'say' so and feel like it? Lol.

I'm a 'neet' and PROUD (or whatever tf that 'word' means), has always been and will always be. im not """""worried"""" nor """""affected"""" about it at all, have never been and never will lmao. I dont want to 'be' ""useful"" nor ""productive"" nor ""happy"", nor ""sociable"", nor ""educated"", nor ""cultured"", nor ""thoughtful"", nor "worthful" nor ""successful"", nor ""smart"", nor ""valuable"" nor ""useful"" nor ""hard-working"" nor ""active"" nor ""intelligent"" nor "''mature''" nor ""independent'"" nor literally/basically ANY other fucking """"""positive""""" 'way'/'thing' or whatever tf all that fucking crap is lol)) **and im so proud of it and NOT """"ashamed"""" nor """"embarrassed"""" [why would i lmao] of it at all and never will. (why the fck would 'i' be """ashamed"""??? lmao {Or whatever the damn fck "ashamed" means lol couldnt care any less})
But so fucking unfortunately Ill stop being a 'neet' someday sooner or later maybe when 'covid' or whatever tf that is 'ends' (i fcking wish it never ended lol so i could ways have the excuse of that to not fucking have to 'do'/'experience' not 'only' any of that crap but absolutely ANYTHING else at all of any other type any single fucking damn type (anyways pretending that i want "leisure"/"pleasure"/"enjoyment"/"joy"/"happiness" blabla or whatever tf that crap is lol I have to yes or yes as well as pretending /faking with the """basics""" and also other 'aspects' and blahblah, if i didnt they'd suspect, assume and take me to a psychiatrist/psychologist or whatever tf that shit is, so...and what a damn fcuking bullshit unfortunately someday sooner or later that day where ill have to fucking study again or work or whatever other "must do thing"/"responsibility"/"duty" or whatever tf all that crap is will come someday inevitably, sooner or later but unfortunately someday and it fucking sucks but I have no choice but 'do' it as well as pretend (force myself to, have no choice so, it's either pretending it/faking it or being suspicious and assumed to be "depressed" and or whatever tf) that i 'have' "interests", "hobbies" and all that crap. because if I dont ill be suspicious immediately and 'my parents' and whoever tf would notice immediately and suspect and assume whatever thing and all that fcking crap

Im a 'neet' or whatever tf that means that has a """""negative""""" 'meaning' lol** ((([and couldnt give any less of a fcking shit if it's """negative""" or not lmao, I fucking wish i never had to do any fucking damn type of thing never at all at any time at all and well that I could finally just not exist at all, and NO, its NOT that i dont want to exist/don't want to live|do|experience 'life {nor anything else in general at all of any fcking type at all whatever/however it is!!!} etc bEcAuSe I hAvE to sTudY|wOrK//bEcAusE I hAvE tO 'dO' tHiNgS iN gEnErAl and blah blah. No lmao it's not because of that 'reason' NOR because of literally/absolutely ANY other fcking 'reason' in general at all. I dont give a damn sht if i have or not have to 'study'/'work' and or whatever the fck and if i have or not have to 'do'/'experience' etc 'things' etc lol neither what/how the 'things' there are/ 'i' 'have to' 'do'|'experience' etc and 'can' 'do'/'experience' etc are lmao. Whether i have to/can 'do' etc 'things' or not i dont give a shit lmfao I will never give a shit about/will never have any "interest" nor "curiosity" nor "attraction" about/for/in 'life' nor absolutely anything else whatever however tf it is, Ill never at all want to 'experience'/'enjoy'/'live'/'do'/'know'/'be part of'/'participate in'/'learn about'/'explore' etc 'life'/'the world'/'existence'/'planet earth' etc no matter what/how it is and never will nor absolutely/literally ANYTHING else at all in general of any 'type'/'way'/'form'/'shape' etc in general no matter 'what'/'how'/'where' etc it is ] **and Im so'proud' [or whatever tfthe'word' "proud" means lol] of it and will always be PROUD of NOT 'STUDYING' NOR 'WORKING'ANYFUCKINGDAMNTYPEOF'THING'andfuckingwishineverATALLhadtonotonlynoneofthatgarbagecrapshitidontgiveashitaboutbutabsolutelyanythingelseingeneralatallofanyfckingdamn'type'atallwhateverhowevertfitisandthatsffkingitanditsnotbecauseofanyreasonatallisimplyliterallyjustDONTandsimplyseriouslybasicallyliterallyjustdontgiveashitaboutanythingatallandsimplyneverfuckingwill (and wish i never did absolutely anything in general of any fcking damn 'type' at all whatever/however it is) or whatever all that shit is lmao and will NEVER be """ashamed""" nor 'feel' """bad"""/"""useless"""/"""inferior""" nor any other fcking """bad"""/"""negative""" 'way' lol why tf do i have to 'feel' or whatever tf 'feel' means """bad"""/"""sad"""/"""depressed"""/"""embarrassed"""/"""ashamed"""/"""inferior""" {{or whatever tf all those """negative""" 'words' mean}} and or whatever other """negative""" 'way'/'mood' lmao what if i just dont give a damn fcking shit. I dont want and never will neither to 'study'/'work' and all that fucking """"useful""""/""""productive"""" garbage crap shit nor absolutely any other fcking "responsibility" of any fucking type NOR LITERALLY ANYTHING at all from "leisure"/"enjoyment" or whatever tf that means of any 'type'/'way' and whatever tf it is about, however tf it is etc or whatever tf that means NOR literally any other single type of 'thing' at all whatever/however it is lol why do 'i' have to 'want'/'care about'/be "interested" in/'want to 'do'' and or whatever other 'action verb' etc 'something' for fucks sake??!! I simply just fucking dont, have never fucking wanted and never will and ive never wanted/dont want to/will never want to want to lmfao.I simply just dont give not even a single fcking damn shit about anything and I never will.)))

***Butunfortunatelyeventhoughimstilla'neet'andsoproudofitandwishIcouldALWAYSbeaneetandnot'study'nor'work'noranyotherfuckingshitlikethatnorabsolutelyanythingelseingeneralatallofanytypeatallrelatedtoanythingatallaboutanythingatallnomatterwhathowitisetc Ill have to 'study' again or 'work' someday sooner or later or whatever tf all that crap is unfortunately***** bEcAuSe iTs ThE ''''nOrMaL tHiNg'''' (as if i gave a fucking shit if it's "ThE NoRmaL thiNg" or not lmao) bEcAuSe iTs a 'rEsPoNsIbIlItY'/'dUtY'/'mUsT dO tHiNg' fOr 'eVeRyOnE'/eVeRy 'aDuLt' (lmao as if 'i' gave a fucking damn shit if its a 'rEsPoNsIbIliTy' or whatever tf that crap 'means' or not or if it's 'lEiSuRe' [or whatever that means] or whatever other fcking damn 'type' of 'thing' lol. I don't give a damn fcking bullsht 'what' it is, 'how' it is, 'what' 'type' of 'thing' it is etc nor absolutely any other fcking sht like that nor in general at all, nor absolutely any other type of 'thing' at all, i couldn't care less. 'i' don't want to 'do' [nor any other 'action' nor any other 'verb'/type of verb] any fcking 'rEsPoNsIbIlItY'/'dUtY'/'mUsT dO tHiNg' or whatever tf that's 'called' of absolutely any 'type' at all 'whatever' it is, 'however' it is, nor absolutely ANY fcking 'lEiSuRe'/'pLeaSuRe'/'eNjOyMeNt'/'hObBiEs' nor any other 'words' like|'similar' to that/'related' to that/'about' that blabla 'aCtIViTiEs'/'tHiNgS'/'sTuFf' nor literally any other type of 'thing' in general at all. I just dont want any damn type of 'thing' in general at all i simply just dont give a sht if it's 'from' 'rEsPoNsIbIlItIeS' or if it's 'from' 'lEiSuRe' or if it's 'from' whatever/any other fcking type of 'thing'. I dont give a fcking sht about absolutely anything, i dont give a sht what 'type' of 'thing' whatever fcking 'thing' is neither 'how', neither what 'way', neither 'what' is 'related' to, neither 'what' it is 'about', neither 'how' tf it is etcetc blabla. I just literally don't give a fcking sht. And as if I gave a fcking shit if 'im' an 'aDuLt' or whatever tf that bullsht means or not, i dont give a sht if it's a 'rEsPoNsIbILiTy' or if it's 'lEiSuRe' or if it's whatever other fuckign type of 'thing' in general) bEcAuSe iTs wHaT 'eVeRyOnE'/eVeRy 'aDuLt'/eVeRy 'pErSoN' 'mY' 'aGe' 'hAs tO dO'/'dOeS'/'sHoUlD dO' (again, as if i gave a fucking damn sht if 'im' an 'aDuLt' or whatever tf that crap means or if 'im' a 'pErSoN' and or whatever other 'thing'/type of 'thing' blablaetc whatever tf in general, i couldnt care less lol. and as if i gave a single damn sht if that is what i 'hAvE tO' 'dO'/'sHoUlD' 'dO' blabla whatever tf or not, i dont give a sht if 'i' 'sHoUlD' 'dO' 'tHiNgS' or not, i dont give a sht 'what'/'how' that whatever fcking 'thing'/type of 'thing' blablaetc whatever tf that i 'cAn' 'dO', that 'i' 'sHoUlD' 'dO', that 'i' 'hAvE tO' 'dO', that eVeRy 'aDuLt'|'eVeRyOnE' iN gEnErAl|'eVeRyOnE' 'mY' 'aGe' [or whatever tf "age" means lol] 'dOeS'/'hAs tO' 'dO'/'sHoUld' 'Do' etcetcblabla and or whatever tf is, i dont give not even a single damn sht. I couldn't give any less of a fck if 'that' is 'what' 'i' 'mUsT' 'dO'/'hAvE tO' 'dO'/'sHoUlD' 'dO' or not lmao, i dont give a damn sht if ''that' is 'what' 'i' 'hAvE tO' 'dO'/'sHoUlD' 'dO'/'mUsT' 'dO'/wHaT 'eVeRyOnE'|eVeRy 'aDuLt'|'eVeRyOnE' 'mY' 'aGe' blabla and or whatever tf 'dOeS'/'hAs tO' 'dO'/'sHoUlD' 'dO'/'mUsT' 'dO' or not lol and i dont give a fcking sht if 'i'/'eVeRyOnE'|eVeRy 'aDuLt'|'eVeRyOnE' 'My' 'aGe' and or whatever tf 'hAvE tO'|'hAs tO'/'sHoUlD' 'dO'/'dOeS'/'mUsT' 'dO'/'cAn' 'dO' 'that' or if it's whatever/any other 'thing'/type of 'thing'/damn fucking crap in general of whatever other 'type'/'way', 'related' to whatever/any other 'thing'/'type of thing' blabla etc whatever tf whatever/however tf it is lol I dont give a ffking sht ffs. I couldn't give any less of a damn if 'that' is 'what' 'I'/'eVeRyOnE' iN gEnErAl/'eVeRyOnE' 'mY' 'aGe'/eVeRy 'aDuLt' and or whatever tf 'hAvE tO'|'hAs tO' 'dO'/'cAn' 'dO'/'mUsT' 'dO'/'sHoUlD' 'dO' and or blah blah etc whatever tf 'tHaT' or if it's whatever/any other crap/'thing'/type of 'thing' in general whatever/however the fck it is lol. I just dont care. I simply just don't give a sht about [and dont want to]/don't want [and don't want to 'want']/don't have any "interest" nor "curiosity" nor "attraction" nor any other crap in general for|about [and don't want to]/don't want to 'do'|'know'|'enjoy'|'learn'|'experience'|'kNoW hOw tO dO'|'achieve'|'be'|'dO rIgHt'|'bE 'gOoD' fOr|aT'|''sUcCeEd' aT'|'have' blabla etcetc nor absolutely ANY other 'action'/'verb'/type of 'verb' in general at all [and don't want to] ANYTHING. ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL, of literally any 'type' at all, any 'way' at all 'from' absolutely ANYWHERE IN GENERAL AT ALL ETC whatever/however tf it is. and that's it, it's not because of any 'reason' at all.))) *****and what a damn fcking bullsht but it's either do it or be suspicious and 'my parents' would assume 'i' have '''depression''' or whatever other '''mental illness/mental health issue''' and or that im ''suffering''/'something' "bad" 'happens' to 'me' and or that 'i' have '''low self esteem''' (i dont have any fucking type of 'self esteem' lmfao i couldnt give any less of a sht about that lol and no i dont """hate""" 'myself' at all lmfao nor anyone else in general at all why tf would I lol I couldnt care any less 'what'/'who'/'how' blabla whatever tf 'i' and whatever/any other 'person' 'am'/'is'/'can be' and or blablaetc whatever tf lmao i dont give a fuck. I dont have """self hatred""" or whatever that means nor any other crap like that/of that type nor literally absolutely anything else """"negative""""/""""bad"""" lol) and or that 'i' 'have' '''lack of 'confidence''' (or whatever tf that crap means lol i neither have it nor not have it lmfaoooo i couldnt give any less of a shit i dont want to have 'confidence' or whatever tf that 'word' means nor any other fucking ''''positive'''' crap shit in general at all lmao and no i dont have ''''low self esteeem'''' lmfao i couldnt give any less of a fck about that crap. i dont '''hate''' 'myself' nor anyone in general nor anything at all in general lol i just couldnt give any less of a fuck, i dont want to have ''self esteem'' nor any other fcking crap shit/nor any other """"positive""""/""""good"""" 'thing'/type of 'thing' in general at all whatever/however the fck it is lol.) Theyd also assume that, or that it's because of wHatEvEr/aNy oThEr 'rEaSoN'/'rEaSoNs' bUt bEcAuSe ReAsOn/rEaSoNs yEs oR yEs, sigh, and well theyd be both assuming and insisting that there's a reason/that it's bc of a 'reason' or 'reasons' and blabla all that crap and id be sent to a psychiatrist/psychologist or whatever that crap is for NO reason at all although theyd all assume/insist that it's because of a 'reason', that i yes or yes want to 'experience'/'live'/'do' etcetc bla bla 'life' etc bla bla bla but that i 'say' i dont bEcAusE oF hOw iT iS/tHe wAy iT iS//bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn and blah blah blah all that crap, and well, id be forced into 'meds'/'therapy' and all that crap that I'll NEVER 'want' nor 'need' nor 'care' about at all against my fcking will. so, to avoid that crap i have no damn choice but to 'pretend'/'force' 'myself' to whatever fcking crap, not only abt 'studying'/'working' and or any other ""rEsPoNsIbIlIty tHiNg"" but whatever thing in general whatever|however it is, whatever 'aspect'|'area' of 'life'/in general blabla especially the """"basics"""" (as if i gave a fcking shit what that means and if it's """basic""" or not) like 'moving'/'eating'/'hearing'/'listening'/'speaking'/'thinking'/'health'/'hygiene'/'appearance' blablabla whatever tf that is and whatever/any other fcking ""basic"" 'thing'/shit in general anything/everything whatever 'thing' whatever/however tf it is /whatever 'type' of 'thing' it is i simply just dont give a damn shit about and absolutely never will no matter 'what'/'how' tf it is etc so anything/everything/whatever 'thing' in general whatever/however it is is/has been/will be 'something' i have no fcking choice but to 'pretend'/'fake'/'force myself' to and it's such a big fucking 'effort'/'sacrifice', just like also having no fcking damn choice but to force myself to "have" """interests"""/"""hobbies""" or whatever that shit is and all that crap. They dont know anything/the 'truth' and wouldn't believe/understand at all if they "did" so (no one in general actually, i dont fckinf 'know' why but this is unfortunately just something that cannot and will never be 'understood'/'believed'/taken 'seriously' without fucking assuming whatever bullshit like for example that tHeReS a ReAsOn wHy/iTs bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn|rEaSoNs blabla and all that fcking crap so... If i told them they'd just tell me that im """mEntAlLy iLl""" or whatever tf that means lol couldnt care less and would assume whatever sht and would be insisting that yes or yes it's because of a reason, like literally everyone/anyone else whether they're 'pro life' or not, 'suicidal' or not etc would also do if i 'told' 'them', and well theyd also 'take' 'me' to a 'psychiatrist'/'psychologist' or whatever the fuck that crap is so...) they'll continuously be 'expecting'/'assuming' what they'd 'generally'/'fundamentally'/'commonly' or whatever tf to call that/whatever tf those 'words' mean 'assume'/'expect' of literally everyone else/all 'people' in general both 'pro life' and not 'pro life'/'pro choice', 'suicidal' and 'non suicidal's etcetc lol basically/literally anyone/everyone else in general including ""the basics"", 'responsibilities'/'leisure' and blaaah blaaah blah whatever other fcking 'thing', also 'individually'/'personally' they also 'expect'/'assume' 'me'/about 'me' for example that im """interested""" in/'like' [I NEITHER 'like' NOR 'dislike'/'hate' anything ffs i just simply couldn't care any fcking damn less and everything/anything/whatever|any 'thing'|type of 'thing' whatever/however tf it is has always been, is and will always be completely/absolutely/literally/basically/simply just 'indifferent' or whatever the damn fck that means to 'me' and that'll never change no fcking matter what]/'care about' and or 'wish'/'desire' and 'want' to 'do'/'experience'/'enjoy'/'know' and or whatever any other 'action'/'verb'/type of 'verb' in general and blablabla whatever tf 'things'/'life' blabla etc whatever tf uNlEsS i dOnT bEcAuSe oF a ReAsOn|rEaSoNs iN gEnErAl oF wHaTeVeR|aNy 'tYpE'|'wAy' and or whatever the fcuk/bEcAuse ItS "bAd"/"mEaNiNgLeSs"/"bOrInG"/"pAiNfUl"/"uNfAiR"/"hArD"/"uSeLeSs"/"dIrEcTiOnLeSs"/"pUrPoSeLeSs"/"aImLeSs" (as if i gave a fcking damn shit lmaooooo) and or whatever/any other """""""""""negative""""""""""""/"""""""bad""""""" 'way'/'adjective'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place'/type of x/type of whatever the dam fucking shit lol. I don't give a fck ffs i literally simply just don't and never will give a sht about/want etcetc absolutely anything at all of literally ANY type, ANY way at etc at all, regardless of 'what'/'how'/'where' etcetc tf it is ffs!!!!!! MUCH less ANYTHING """""positive""""'/""""good"""" at all whatever/however/whatever 'type' of 'thing' it is etc, and why tf do 'i' 'forcedly'/'obligatorily'/'necessarily' have to 'care' that 'something' is any/whatever """""""positive"""""""/"""""""good"""""" [or whatever tf that means] 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing'/type of 'place' or whatever tf lmao


Someday sooner or later Ill have no choice but to 'study' or 'work' something yes or yes ("wHaTeVeR I 'wAnT' bUt sOmEthInG" lmfao I JUST DONT WANT/DONT GIVE A SHIT/DONT WANT TO 'DO' nor any other 'action verb' ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL IN GENERAL OF ANY 'TYPE'/'WAY' WHATEVER/HOWEVER IT IS!!!!) or else 'my parents' will suspect and will assume that Im ""depressed"" or whatever other ""bad""/""negative"" 'way' and or that 'something' """bad""" 'happens' to 'me' orthatitsbecauseofanyother'rEaSoN'and id be sent to a psychiatrist/psychologist FOR NO REASON AT ALL although theyd be assumingandinsisting that there's a reason and allthatfuckingcrap
As much as i just fucking dont want and never will/dont have any fucking "interest" and never will for|about/don't (and never will) want to 'do' nor any other 'action verb' etcetc ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL OF LITERALLY ANY TYPE AT ALL NO MATTER HOW/WHAT IT IS ETC, Ill have no fcking choice but to pretend that there's 'something' 'i' """"""want""""" to 'study' and that i """"""like""""""/""""""am ""interested"" in""""""andallthatcrap or that there's a 'job' i """"""want to do"""""", i """"""like"""""""/im """"""interested""""""" in and all that fucking crap. ill have to make that fucking effort/sacrifice and 'force' 'myself' to that shit someday sooner or later, as well as Ive always had and will always have no choice but to force myself to ''have''''''interests''''', ''''hobbies'''' and all that fucking shit or else theyd suspect and assume whatever shit. Becauseifakeandpretend-havenochoiceifididnttheydsuspectimmediatelyandwouldassumethatim'''depressed'''orthatidOnTknOwwHaTiwAnTaNdLikElolidontwantto'know'whati'''''want''''and'''''like'''''noranyotherfckingshitlikethatidontwantnor'like'anything-iNEITHER''like''NOR''dislike''''hate''absolutelyanythingatallingeneralofanytypewhateverhoweveririsijustsimplydontgiveafuckingshitanditsabsolutelytotallyliterallyindifferentto'me'andcouldntgiveanylessofafuckidonthaveanytypeof'opinion'ahoutanythinnor'anyone'ingeneralneither'''''positive'''''NOR'''''negative''''''norliterallyanyother'type''way'ingeneralatallijustdontgiveafuckforfuckssake(Idont'want'nor'like'anyfuckingdamnthinglmfaoanddontwantto'want'anddontwantto'like'anddontwantto'care''about'anddontwantto'be''''interested'''anddontwantto'do'etcetcanyfuckingdamnthingandicouldntgiveanylessofafuckifitswhateverany'''''''''positive'''''''''''way'orifitswhateverany''''''''''''''negative'''''''way' lol i couldnt care less. I just simply dont want/don't give a shit about etc and never will at all and don't want to and never will absolutely anything at all, and that's it

They dont know the truth/anything and from their perspective/from the 'outside' I'm like/one more of/another one of all of 'you' and literally/basically everyone/anyone else in general both suicidal non suicidal pro life not pro life/pro choice blablabla etc, basically anyone/everyone else in general, 'i' 'fake' and 'pretend' and try to 'camouflage' as much as possible so theyll continue expecting and assuming and blablabla or whatever tf that means -havenochoiceihavetodothisyesoryesandtrytocamouflageamongliterallyeveeyoneelsepretendingposingasimonemoreofyouandeveryoneelsethatis''''sOmEoNewHoSiNteResTeDiNlIfEtHiNgStHewOrLdpLanEteArtHaNdOrbLaHbLahuNleSsItsAnY''''nEgAtIvE''''aNd''''bAd''''wAyaNdwAnTsTolIvEeXpErIencEdOeTc'lIfE''eXiStEnCe''tHewOrLd''pLaNeTeArThaNdoReTCeTcbLaHblAhUnLeSsidOntbEcAuSeoFaReAsOnrEaSoNsUnLeSsItSaNy''''bAd'''''''''nEgAtIvE'''''''wAy'aNdwAnTStO'dO'tHiNgS'lIkEs''tHiNgS'iS'iJtErEsTeD'iN'thInGs' they see 'me' as if i were everyone else in general except me whether theyre suicidal/not suicidal, pro life or not becauseIfakeandpretend-Ihavenochoiceifididnttheydsuspectimmediatelyandassumethatim''depressed''orwhateverother''''bad''''''''negative''''''way''thing'andblahblah (and ill never tell them lol this is something that not only them but literally everyone/anyone else in general will never understand/believe and will always assume that it's because of a reason, and well if i told them they wouldn't believe/understand at all and i unfortunately wouldnt be allowed to die/disappear/not exist at all lol i fucking wish, and well theyd just say "yOuRe mEntAlLy iLl" and would be assuming that i actually care about/have interest in etc 'life' and that i do want to live/do/experience etc 'life' but that i say i dont bEcAusE iM 'sUfFeRiNg' //bEcAuSe lIfE iS a WaY tHat i doNT lIkE//bEcAuSe iM 'dEpReSsEd'//bE andtheyd be insisting for a reason and assuming that theres one and would take me to a psychiatrist/psychologist immediately assuming that it's because of a reason, that i actually want to live/experience 'life' etcetc and want to care about/be 'interested' in 'life'/'the world'/'things'/'planet earth' but that i don't bEcAuSe oF a rEaSoN)

SobecausetheydontknowthetruthANDILLNEVERTELLTHEMandtheythinkandassume-wellthatstheonlypossibleoptionapartfromnotgivingashitaboutnothavingany''interest''fornotwantingnotwantingto'do''experience''live'etcetc'life''theworld''planetearth''existence'blahblah--inmycasenomatterhowthefuckitisffsetcanddontwantabsolutelyanyother'life''world''planet''existence'etcetcofanyfuckingtypenorwayatallwhateverhoweverthefckitisnorliterallyanythinfingelseatallingeneralofanytypeatallnomatterwhatandhowthefuckitisanywhereelse--bEcAuSeoFaReAsOnbEcAuSetHiSaNdtHatiStHiSaNdoRtHatwAyaNdnOtaNotHeRwAybEcAuSetHisaNdtHataRetHesEtHinGsaNdnOtoThErsbEcAuSeiM'sUfFerIng'bEcAuSeiM'dEpReSseD' they'll beexpectingmetochooseandwantand'like'andbe'interested'insomethingandwillbeexpectingmetobestudyingorworkingorwhateverotherfckingcrapshitlikethator''''wHaTeVeRiTswHatiWaNtBuTsOmEtHinG''' andwelltheyvealwaysbeenandwillalwaysbeexpecting and assuming what theyd expect/assume about literally everyone in generalbecauseihavenofckingchoicebutgivethatfuckinggeneralimagefromtheioutsidefromtheirperspectivethatimonemoreofallofyouandliterallyeveryoneelseingeneralsotheydontsuspectandassumethatim'''depressed'''orwhateverother'thing''way'likethatorwhateverrthefuckandwouldbeassumingandinsistingthatitsbecauseofareasonthatitsjusta''phase''thatihavea''chemicalimbalanceinthebrain''orwhateverthefuckthatmeanslmfaoicouldntgiveanylessofadamnshitandorwhateverother'reason'becausewellapparentlyitsjust'''impossible'''tonotgiveasamnshitaboutnotwantnothaveany'interest'etctforabsoluteluliterallyanythingwItHoUTaNyrEaSoNaTaLlanditsnot''justnow''norbecauseofanydamnfuckingreasonitsnot''temporary''norafuckingphasenor''depression''nor''apathy''nor''boredom''nor''emptiness''noranyotherthinglikethatlmaoanditsnota''consequence''ofanysinglefuckingdamnthingffs,inallthe'aspects' all the 'basics'ihavenochoicebutpretendthati'''have''''''''hobbies'''''and''''interests'''''andallthatcrap-andwellbecausetheydontknowthetruthandnotonly'them'butliterallyanyoneeveryoneingeneralall'people'ingeneralnomatteriftheyreprolifeornotsuicidalornotetcwillneverfuckingunderstandandbelievethatitsfuckingpossibletoliterallysimplyjustnotgiveadamnshitabout'life'noranythingelseingeneral NOT bEcAuSe oF hOw It Is nor absolutely literallyany other fucking damn reason
i simply just dont want to 'do' etc absolutely anything in general of any fcking type/way at all whatever/however it is ffs and dont want to want to and never will lol. 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence' etcetc (nor absolutely anything in general at all whatever/however it is and whatever 'type of thing' it is), regardless how the fck it is, if 'i' 'have to' 'do'|'experience' etc//'can' 'do'|'experience' etc 'things or not, what it's about/how it works, what it's what it has/there is/it doesn't have/there isnt/what it can have/what there can be etc, regardless what happens etcetc SHOULDN'T be obligatory/an obligation, I should have the RIGHT to simply want to not exist to simply literally just NOT be "interested" (or whatever 'being' "interested" means, and not want to) in/NOT 'care about' etc (and not want to) absolutely anything at all not only 'life'/'existence'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'consciousness' of any type any way at all whatever however it is, anything at all 'from'/'about' 'life'/'the world'/'existence'/'planet earth' nor any other 'life'/'world'/'planet'/'existence'/'galaxy'/'universe' blablabla etc at all whatever/however it is of any 'type'/'way' etc NO matter 'how' tf it is neither 'what' 'there is'/it has, neither 'what' it is 'about', neither 'how' it 'works', neither 'what' 'happens' nor 'how' 'what' 'happens' 'is'/'happens', neither what 'types' of 'things' blablaetc whatever tf 'there are'/'there can be'/'there couldve been' etcetc blah blah at all NOR absolutely anything else in general at all/ANY other 'thing'/'place' etcetc at all of any other type, any other way, whatever/however tf it is. no matter how tf it is, and that's it, WITHOUT it being "because of a reason". I seriously just cant understand and never will why there has to necessarily be a fcking 'reason' or 'reasons' yes or yes. I. Just. Can't. Fcking. 'Comprehend'. And. Never. Will. 'I' didnt 'ask' to 'exist'/'exist' as anything at all of any type, right? 'I' didnt 'ask' to 'exist' 'in' anywhere at all whatever nor however it is, right? 'i' didn't 'ask' to 'be'|'become' 'something'/'someone', any "entities"/"life forms"/"living beings"/"beings"/"human"/"person"/ "species" blabla etc whatever tf that is at all, right? any 'something'/'thing' of any 'type'/'form'/'way'/'dimension' etc at all. 'i' didn't ask to 'be' 'brought' to absolutely any 'thing'/'place' etc blabla whatever other fck of literally any 'type', any 'way' whatever/however/'wherever' etc it is, right? 'i' didn't 'ask' to 'experience'/'do'/'live'/'explore'/'be part of'/'participate in'/'know'/'learn about'/'enjoy'/'inhabit'/'discover' etcetc blabla and or whatever tf/whatever other 'verb' anything in general at all, anywhere at all, any 'life'/'world'/'planet'/'consciousness'/'galaxy'/'universe'/'existence' blahblah etc whatever tf that means of any type, no matter 'how' it is, what 'there is' etcetc, nor absolutely ANY other 'thing'/'place' etc of any type, any way, any anything in general at all, whatever/however tf it is and a 'large' 'etcetera'. so, that should be MORE than enough for 'me' to have the 'freedom'/'right' [the only type of 'freedom'/'right' i want/want to want and will always want/want to 'want'/'wish'/'desire'/'dream' 'about' or whatever tf those 'verbs'/'words' mean lol] to just not exist at all/stop 'existing'/die/leave/disappear for all 'eternity'/forever and that's it and it's not because of any 'reason' at all. NOTHING in general whatever/however it is, not only 'this'/'any of this' however it is |whatever 'type' of 'thing' it is etc, should be 'obligatory'/an 'obligation', I just literally cant 'comprehend' why it is if i didnt even ask for anything/to 'exist' at all in the first place but well. and i 'hope' or whatever tf that means that there isnt anything at all of any type, any way, any form etc at all after death. because I literally just don't want anything and simply never will lol, i 'laugh' or whatever tf "laugh" means because i just cant 'understand' never had and never will why the fuck just simply not 'wanting'/not 'caring' about/not 'being' "interested" nor "curious" nor any other crap like that for/not wanting to 'experience'|'know'|'participate in'|'be part of'|'belong in'|'do'|'enjoy'|'live' nor absolutely any other 'verb'/'type of verb' in general at all etcetc anything absolutely anything at all of any type, any way at all no matter 'what'/'how' etc it is and that's it and it's not "temporary"/a "phase" nor any 'consequence' of anything at all and it's NOT because of any 'reason' in general at all of any type etcetc at all isnt possible and it's 'considered' """irrational"""/"""illogical""" and a 'chEmIcAl' 'iMbAlAnCe' iN tHe 'bRaIn' or whatever tf all that means lol as if i gave a sht if it's that or whatever the fck and I couldn't care less about the 'meaning' of those 'words' (nor the 'meaning' of absolutely any other 'word' in general lmao) just bc it's "supposedly" a 'cHeMicAl' 'iMbAlAnCe' iN tHe 'bRaiN' (as if i gave a shit that 'i' have a "brain" or whatever tf that is in the first place i dont want never wanted never simply will to 'have'/'use' ANY 'brain'/'mind' at all of ANY type/way at all much less ""useful""/""functional""/""healthy""/""intelligent"" blabla whatever tf that means lol nor any other """""pOsItIvE""""" 'way'/type of 'brain'|'mind' at all lol and i dont give a fucking shit if 'my' 'brain'/'mind' is whatever/any """"positive"""" 'way'/'adjectice'/type of 'brain'|'mind' lmao I couldnt care less, I dont want to 'have'/'use' etc ANY 'brain'/type of 'brain' [nor any other thing in general at all of any type whatever/however it is etc] at all, i simply just dont and that's it and there's no """explanation""" nor """reason why""" and it's not a "consequence" of absolutely anything. 'my' 'brain' is "functional"/"healthy" blabla etc or whatever tf that means and i dont give not even a single damn less of a fuck lmfao


i didnt ask for anything at all i didn't ask to 'be'/'become' ANYTHING at all of any fcking damn 'type' nor be 'brought' anywhere/to anything at all nor 'experience'/'be part of'/'participate in'/'know'/'live in'/'exist in'/'inhabit'/'enjoy'/'explore'/'live'/'do' etc ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL IN GENERAL of literally any 'way', any 'type' at all and whatever/however it is. So why can't i just not want to live/experience/do 'life'/'the world'/'planet earth'/'existence'/'consciousness' etcetc (NOR literally any other 'life'/'type' of 'life', nor any other 'world'/'type' of 'world', nor any other 'existence'/'type' of 'existence', nor any other 'planet'/'type of planet', nor any other 'consciousness'/'type of consciousness' no matter how it is etc anywhere else in general at all, nor absolutely anything else in general at all of any type/way at all no matter how/what it is etc.) no matter how it is, what happens, what there is and how what there is is etcetc? Why cant i just fucking dont without it being bEcAusE oF a rEaSoN/ bEcAusE oF a 'cHemIcAl iMbAlAnCe iN thE bRaiN' (or whatever tf a "brain"/"mind" is lmfaooo couldn't give any less of a damn sht) /bEcAuSe iM "dEprEsSeD" no im not lmao any type of "depressed" about anything at all in any single 'way'/bEcAusE iM "eMptY" no I'm not lmao/bEcAuSe 'mY lIfE' iS "bAd" no it isn't ""bad"" at all and i couldn't give any less of a fcking sht lmao/ bEcAusE oF tHe wAy 'liFe'/'eXiStEnCe'/'tHe wOrlD'/'pLaNeT eArTh' bLaH blah etc Is (no lmfao it's not because of that neither, i couldn't care any less how/what way whatever 'thing'/'place' etc is neither if it's """"negative"""" or """"positive"""" lmao I dont give a sht) /bEcAusE 'LiFe'/'eXiStEnCe' blah blah and or whatever other 'thing' iS ""mEaNiNgLeSs"" aNd """pOinTlEsS""" aNd oR """pAinFuL""" aNd """bAd""" (as if i gave a fcking sht if 'life'/'existence' and or whatever other 'thing'/'place' etcetc whatever, is """"""meaningless"""""" or """"""meaningful"""""", """"""painful"""""" or """"""not painful""""", """"""bad"'"""" or """""""good""""""", """"""useless"""""" or """"""useful"""""" {or whatever tf those """negative"""/"""positive""" 'words' mean lol I just simply dont care and never will}
and or whatever/any other """"""""""""negative""""""""""""/"""""""""positive"""""""""" 'way'/'adjective'/'type' of 'life'/'type' of 'existence'/'type' of x/'type' of whatever the fuck lol/'type' of 'thing'|'place' and or whatever in general blabla etc whatever tf lol i literally just couldnt care any less.

i wish I could ALWAYS be a 'neet' or whatever tf that means that for everyone in general is """""""negative""""""/""""""bad"""""" lmfao as if i gave a sht if that's "negative"/"bad" or whatever tf (for 'me' it isn't """""negative""""" at all lol in fact i fucking wish i was always a 'neet' and never did any single fucking type of 'thing' no matter what/how it is and that I could finally disappear forever and not exist at all never at all, not be anything/anyone/anywhere at all but well it's """""""irrational""""""" [as if i gave a shit if it's """""""irrational"""""""/""""""illogical""""""" or whatever tf all that crap is or whatever other fcking 'way' lmao i never asked to 'exist' /be 'brought' ANYWHERE at all whatever/however/wherever it is etc and i SHOULD have the RIGHT to finally leave/disappear/die/CEASE TO EXIST for all eternity and just be absolutely NOTHING whenever tf 'I' want / if that's what 'I' WANT!!!!] to not want to exist to not want to 'live'/'do'/'experience' etc anything in general at all (not only 'life'/"""this life""" {'people' say """this life""" as if there were more lol i HOPE NOT, i dont want absolutely anything in general at all and ofc i dont want ANY other 'life'/'world'/'existence'/'planet'/'consciousness''/'energy'/'galaxy'/'universe' etcetc blah blah whatever other thing lol of literally ANY fcking 'type'/'way' at all no matter how tf it is. i ONLY want eternal absolute/complete non-existence/nothingness. NOTHING ELSE AT ALL NO MATTER WHAT/HOW/WHERE ETC TF IT IS.} so i have no choice but continue existing, continue 'being'/'being' 'something'|'someone' and having 'age'/'gender' and all that fucking crap shit that i couldn't give any less of a shit lol (i dont want to 'be' ABSOLUTELY anything at all, any "entity"/"life form"/"species"/"being"/"living being"/"creature"/"individual" nor absolutely any other single fcking type of 'thing' 'existent' etc whatever/however it is etc, not only i dont want to 'be' any 'human being'/'person' however tf it is lol, I just simply dont want to 'be' ANYTHING AT ALL, absolutely anything in general. Nor 'exist' as anything, nor 'exist' anywhere/in any 'place' at all. I. Just. Don't. and why is this so "strange" lmao i simply just dont give a sht about anything at all and thats basically it and it's NOT because of any fucking damn 'reason' at all. Although anyways everyone/anyone whether theyre pro life or not/pro choice, suicidal or not etc, will always assume that it's because of a reason/reasons lmao so we'll im 'glad' (or whatever tf 'glad' means lol) I've disabled notifications.
and well just finally not exist at all and not 'be' anything anyone anywhere at all and simply just not exist at all as anything at all and anywhere at all but well im basically trapped in a 'body'/'human body'/'brain'/'mind' or whatever tf all that is called, in 'existence'/'consciousness', a 'world'/'planet' and basically all this obligatory 'thing' that i can't just simply literally not want/not have "interest" for (i dont want/dont care about/aren't "interested" [or whatever tf "interested" means lmfaooo] /dont want to 'experience'/'participate in'/'be part of'/'know'/'learn about'/'exist in'/'live in'/'do'/'live'/'enjoy' etcetc ABSOLUTELY/LITERALLY ANYTHING IN GENERAL AT ALL OF ANY TYPE AT AL HOWEVER/WHATEVER IT IS, not only 'this'/'any of this') and that i simply just dont want to 'experience' and blah blah iF iTs nOt bEcAuSe iM 'sUfFeRIng', iF iTs nOt bEcAuSe i 'hAvE' a "bAd lIfE", iF iTs nOt bEcAuSe Im "eMpTy" aNd oR "aPaThEtIc" aNd oR "bOrEd" aNd oR "lOsT iNtEReSt aNd mOtIvAtIoN" [why tf do i have to have/want to have "interest" and "motivation" and all that crap, and or basically 'something' in general lol, I JUST FUCKING DONT AND THAT'S IT FFS, and it's NOT because of ANY fucking damn 'reason' of any 'type' at all] aNd oR "dEpReSsEd" oR wHatEvEr oTher "mEntAl iLlNesS"/"mEnTaL heAltH iSsUe" oF wHaTEvEr/aNy oTheR tYpE, iF iTs nOt bEcAuSe Of a ReAsOn/rEaSoNs iN gEnErAl, wHaTeVer rEaSoN bUt tHeRe hAs tO bE a ReAsOn wHy. siiiiiigh lmfao.

I simply just dont give not even a single fucking damn sht about anything at all of any fcking 'type'/'way' at all whatever/however it is and 'i' DON'T want to 'care' and never will lol and it's not because of ANY damn 'reason' although 'people' whether theyre 'suicidal' or not, 'pro life' or not never 'understand'/'believe' this and will always assume that there's a damn fucking 'reason' yes or yes lmao. Im not "empty" nor "depressed" nor "bored" nor "lost" nor "confused" nor "gOiNg thRouGh a 'pHasE' or whatever tf that means lmao nor absolutely any other """"negative"""" 'way'/'thing'/type of 'thing' like that nor absolutely any other lmao i simply literally just dont give a shit about anything whatever/however it is and I dont want to 'care'/don't want to want to 'care' no matter what/how whatever 'thing' is and that's it, it's not because of any fucking damn 'reason' at all. Anyways i have disabled notifications in case 'someone' or whatever tf "someone" means makes an assumption. Im NOT a "nihilist" nor an "antinatalist"/"efilist" or whatever tf all that means, i dont give a shit if 'life'/'existence' and or whatever/any other 'thing'/'place' etc in general is """"suffering""""/""""bad"""" and or whatever other """"""negative"""""" 'way'/'thing' or not lol. 'i' dont say I dont want to experience/do/live etc 'life' {NO MATTER HOW TF IT IS, no matter what it is about how it works what there is and what way the things there are are no matter what happens etcetc!!! NOT bEcAusE oF tHe wAy iT iS, i couldn't give any less of a f shit how not only 'life' is but anything/everything in general of whatever/any 'type' whatever/however it is looool. I dont give a sht and never will if 'life'/'existence'/'the world'/'planet earth' and literally any/whatever other 'thing'/'type of thing' in general whatever/however it is is any/whatever """""""""positive""""""""""/""""""""""good""""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/'type of thing' of any/whatever """"""""""""''negative"""""""''''''''''''/'''''''''""""""""bad"""""""""""""" 'way'/'thing'/'type of thing' lmao. It doesn't """worry""" 'me' nor """affect""" 'me' in any single fcking way.} because 'life'/'existence' and or whatever other 'thing' blah blah whatever, is """"painful""""/""""bad""""/""""unfair""""/""""meaningless""""/""""hard""""/""""pointless""""/""""monotonous""""/"""'suffering""""/"''''pain""" and or whatever/any other """""""""""negative"""""""""' 'way'/'thing' lmao I couldn't give any less of a sht if its whatever/any """"""negative"""""" 'way'/'thing' or if it's whatever/any """"""positive"""""" 'way'/'thing' or whatever other 'way' lol i dont. Give. A. Fuck. That's it. I dont say i dont want to experience/live/do etc blah blah 'life' {nor absolutely any other 'life' of any other 'type'/'way' however it is nor absolutely anything else in general at all of any type/way etc at all in general whatever/however it is!!!!} and that I dont give a shit about it/have no "interest" at all about it* [*] {nor absolutely ANYTHING else in general at all of ANY 'type'/'way'/'kind' at all in general no matter what and how it is etc} ((((*no matter how it is, what it is about, what ""standard of life""|""standard of living"" there is/there is/there can be, no matter what happens and what happens is/happens, no matter what 'perception'/'perspective'/'point of view' etc 'i' and whatever other 'person' can have of 'it', no matter what there is/it has and how tf it is/isn't/can be, no matter what "species"/"life forms"/"beings"/"entities" there are/there arent etc, no matter what it's what i 'have to do'|'experience' etc/'can do'|'experience' etc, whether 'i' 'have to' 'study'/'work' and all that crap etc or not, whether 'i' 'generally' 'have to' 'do'/'experience'/'know' etc 'things' [regardless of what 'type of thing'/'way' whatever 'thing' is] or not etc, NOT bEcAusE oF tHe wAy iT iS/wHat iTs aBoUt/hOw iT wOrKs/wHat tHeRe iS etc NOR bEcAuSe oF hOw 'tHe wOrlD' iS/bEcAuSe 'tHe wOrlD' iS a ""bAd pLaCe"" NOR bEcAuSe 'hUmAnItY'/'sOcIetY' 'dO' """bAd tHinGS""" aNd 'hOw' tHeY aRe etc NOR because of absolutely any other single fcking 'reason' in general lol, i couldn't give any less of a fuck how whatever 'thing' is/isnt/can be etc neither how the fck whatever 'thing' is neither what whatever 'thing' of whatever 'type' is about neither how whatever 'thing' of whatever 'type' etc 'works' etc and I don't give a fcking sht 'how' tf 'the world'/'planet earth''/'existence'/'life' and literally any other 'thing' in general is/anything|everything else in general of whatever 'type' is/isn't , I don't give a shit if 'the world' [or whatever the fck a 'world'/'the world' is lol couldnt care any less what anything is and how it is] is a """""'bad' 'place'""""" or a """""'good' 'place'""""" or whatever the fuck lmao. I (have never given a sht and never will, i just simply dont and it's NOT because of any fcking damn reason) dont give a shit if """good"""/"""positive""" or """bad"""/"""negative""" 'things' 'happen' lmao, i don't give not even a single sht if 'the world'/'planet earth' and or literally basically any/whatever other 'thing'|'place' etc// anything|everything else is whatever/any """""""positive""""""" 'way'/'thing' of if it's whatever/any """"""""""negative"""""""'"'' 'way'/'thing' lmfao ok i guess...? why the fck do 'i' have to fucking care lol. why can't I just simply dont want/dont care about/dont have absolutely any "interest" nor "curiosity" [and dont want to and never will lol])))) [*] NOR bEcAusE I hAvE tO sTuDy|wOrK and or whatever other 'thing' NOR bEcAuSe i hAvE tO dO 'tHiNgS' NOR literally because of ABSOLUTELY any other fcking 'reason' in general AT ALL.
And i couldn't give any less of a fuck if 'life'/'existence' and literally any/whatever other 'thing'/'place' and whatever tf, is """"meaningless"""" or """"meaningful"""" oranywhateverother''''''''negative''''''''-'''''''positive'''''''''way''adjective''typeofx'lmfao I couldn't give any less of a fck. I dont want anything to be ""meaningful"" at all lmfao and if 'something', whatever 'thing', is """"meaningful"""" {or whatever the fck that means) and or any/whatever other """""""""positive""""""""" 'way'/type of 'thing'/'adjective'/type of 'place'/type of x etcetc blabla or whatever the damn fck lol. I couldn't give any less of a sht lmfao I just literally simply dont want to 'experience'/'do'/'know'/'exist in'/'live in'/'inhabit'/'explore'/'participate in'/'be part of' etcetc ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL no matter what/how the fck it is neither the 'type' of 'thing'/'place' etc it is. I just simply dont and thats it.



Please DONT 'answer' anything, it'll be an assumption and i dont want to fcking 'read' any of that sht lol. Thanks.

 

[ineedtoleave]

I'm done with this shit. I'm killing myself next chance I get.

I can't message you can you message me? Maybe we can partner up if you want to.

 

[http-410]

I guess my panic is gone for now.

 

[WOODESITY]

It's cold out here, I'm just another human being writing here, I'm outside my house and smoking cigarettes, i don't know if I'll sleep tonight, it's just what it is, life itself, not coming to life is better and best, i ask this question often to myself, why did i have to exist? Because of my parents desires, i hate this life