I have made many positive experiences when opening up to friends. But I also understand the perspective of people on here. Personally, I filter people very strongly when consider to talk abou my traumatizing childhood. My two closest friends were very supportive and I know I am very privileged that I have them. I cut the contact to other friends that were not empathetic at all on this issue. And I think they wonder why I cut them out.
I have a college friends. I lost some friends within the last 12 months but I sort of have to vent about his behavior.
Some weeks ago I told him that I experienced domestic violence as child. And he was like if need someone to talk to I am always there for you. Though it seemed like he forgot about my abuse. I already told him about that. And it is sort of weird he seemingly forgot it. I considered to open up though.
Recently I talked with him about the thought experiment what would you do with 150 k Euros and you had to spend the money in a short time period. I posted this on here. And I also in real life I shared the anecdote that I once met someone in a clinic who spent 150k for clothes. And I was sort of annoyed about the reaction of my college friend. He said something oh that's so awful I cannot cope with that. I feel so sorry for him. Can we talk about something else this makes me too sad. And I told him. Well I think money wasn't really the big issue for this person. His horrible mental health was the actual problem. And the money would not have made a key difference.
Today I wanted to share something with him about the abuse/argument with my former therapist. And he told me like he doesn't want to deal with something like that. It sounded like he would want to be neutral in this conflict. Which is insane because she did me wrong.
Well all of this reinforced my decision not to talk with him about the fact I almost killed myself in 2024. And I don't want to explain to him all the details about the child abuse I have been through. For me his remarks gave me vibes of fake empathy.
I think he is a good friend in many instances. And I like him. And I am not sure how or whether I will be able to talk with him about these issues. I think so that our friendship becomes closer I had to point out some things that bug me. But actually I probably won't adress any of this. Another topic had to be brought to the table earlier. We barely talk about sexuality which he might consider weird. He might conclude I am insecure on this because he is far more experienced. But another reason for me he did some things to women that I consider pretty bad. It sounded like he often isn't that ethical when it comes to women. He once pretended towards a woman to be interested in a longterm relationship. But when they were in a relationhip he told her he cannot imagine that the relationship lasts more than a year. And she was really hurt. Being in a relationship probably means for him having sex. I also told once in a clinic an extremely good looking borderline woman had a crush on me. She had no control of her life, did all sorts of drugs and attempted suicide prior to the clinic stay. And I told him I could not have imagined being ina relationship with her. And he told me if he had been in my position he probably could not have resisted.
And honestly his take on Israel is bullshit. But this is far too common for Germans. He isn't as horrible on Israel as others but I think many people don't speak up because they don't want to ruin their career.
I have a college friends. I lost some friends within the last 12 months but I sort of have to vent about his behavior.
Some weeks ago I told him that I experienced domestic violence as child. And he was like if need someone to talk to I am always there for you. Though it seemed like he forgot about my abuse. I already told him about that. And it is sort of weird he seemingly forgot it. I considered to open up though.
Recently I talked with him about the thought experiment what would you do with 150 k Euros and you had to spend the money in a short time period. I posted this on here. And I also in real life I shared the anecdote that I once met someone in a clinic who spent 150k for clothes. And I was sort of annoyed about the reaction of my college friend. He said something oh that's so awful I cannot cope with that. I feel so sorry for him. Can we talk about something else this makes me too sad. And I told him. Well I think money wasn't really the big issue for this person. His horrible mental health was the actual problem. And the money would not have made a key difference.
Today I wanted to share something with him about the abuse/argument with my former therapist. And he told me like he doesn't want to deal with something like that. It sounded like he would want to be neutral in this conflict. Which is insane because she did me wrong.
Well all of this reinforced my decision not to talk with him about the fact I almost killed myself in 2024. And I don't want to explain to him all the details about the child abuse I have been through. For me his remarks gave me vibes of fake empathy.
I think he is a good friend in many instances. And I like him. And I am not sure how or whether I will be able to talk with him about these issues. I think so that our friendship becomes closer I had to point out some things that bug me. But actually I probably won't adress any of this. Another topic had to be brought to the table earlier. We barely talk about sexuality which he might consider weird. He might conclude I am insecure on this because he is far more experienced. But another reason for me he did some things to women that I consider pretty bad. It sounded like he often isn't that ethical when it comes to women. He once pretended towards a woman to be interested in a longterm relationship. But when they were in a relationhip he told her he cannot imagine that the relationship lasts more than a year. And she was really hurt. Being in a relationship probably means for him having sex. I also told once in a clinic an extremely good looking borderline woman had a crush on me. She had no control of her life, did all sorts of drugs and attempted suicide prior to the clinic stay. And I told him I could not have imagined being ina relationship with her. And he told me if he had been in my position he probably could not have resisted.
And honestly his take on Israel is bullshit. But this is far too common for Germans. He isn't as horrible on Israel as others but I think many people don't speak up because they don't want to ruin their career.
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