Random thoughts

[http-410]

I just don't know what to do. I wonder if therapy simply postpones the suffering and unavoidable. Still, I don't want a break. Stagnation is already unbearable. But what happens afterwards?

I'm tired.

Swallow your pills yourself. I won't take that stuff.

 

[http-410]

Couldn't sleep without a pill, but at least I slept okayish.

I feel worse today. I realized that I feel a bit bad towards my therapist because I think they actually try to help and I'm still thinking about getting my bus ticket. So all the effort would be wasted, and viewed from a rational point of view, there is no chance of improvement. On the other hand, I'm an autonomous being and decide for myself when it is too much. Why do I still feel something like guilt all of a sudden? There is no question of guilt. The last time I was at the train track a few months ago, I didn't feel guilty (towards myself) anymore.

I wonder if I look suspicious sitting outside in the middle of nowhere with my laptop.

 

[stygal]

I hate being a female.
Just a weak/frail/small person with a bleeding uterus.
I don't want to change my gender though because I don't like the male body/mindset either.
I feel disgusted when I think about being a human in general.
I'd love to be a robot/A.I..

 

[Disappointered]

everything about existence and the world is broken. the only way to affirm your difference from the brokenness and attempt to prove you have some free will within it is to oppose it even if, for some, that means killing yourself in the process.

 

[VisionsOfHell]

I love crows. They always look like they know something that us humans dont know. I wonder what it is.

 

[omoidarui]

another exciting day of internet drama

 

[Deleted member 23586]

I'm gonna go eat and watch The Parkers and hope that i am able to fall asleep quickly as I do not want to deal with insomnia today. sleeping pills here i come!
(Also gn my lil babies ^~^)

 

[WOODESITY]

I love crows. They always look like they know something that us humans dont know. I wonder what it is.

Lovely, I love cows too, though I never got the chance to milk one in metal bucket

 

[VisionsOfHell]

Lovely, I love cows too, though I never got the chance to milk one in metal bucket

Wait...cows? I said crows :P

 

[http-410]

This is a bad, boring dream. I wish I never fell asleep.

 

[silent staring void]

Worse for who/how so? Please don't let your cat be abused. You will find a way if you love your cat. I'm sorry your brother has caused such trouble to begin with.

if you live with your parents, does your parents know about this?
can we have your parents involved to stop your brother?

otherwise it might be worth considering keep the cat at grandparents/a friend if they are animal-friendly.

ok if anyone cares here are some more thoughts

Spoiler

so what my brother does is bother my cat until she is hissing and screaming and even then he doesn't stop. he does this a few times a week. am i overreacting? people probably assumed i meant something worse when i said abuse but it is still obviously causing pain to my cat.
i live with my dad and my brother. my dad knows and he supports it. i tried arguing with both of them many times before but it is completely pointless.
i could technically move out and it would probably be better for me but worse for everyone else, including my cat. if i lived alone i could only afford a shitty apartment and my cat would be alone all day. also she loves my dad much more than she loves me.
tomorrow i will tell my brother i will tell my brother that now i will try to physically stop him from doing it and also how much i despise him (: . even though i am pretty weak and also i go to school and my brother is a neet, he could just do it when i'm away.
if that doesn't work the next best option would be to move out and let my cat stay with them, and break off contact with my dad and brother forever. i don't want to do any of this though, why can't my brother just fucking leave the cat alone.

 

[Sensei]

I wish I could live my simple life without feeling any social pressure.

 

[Lost.]

I want to cut so bad. I want to cry but i am cant.

 

[WOODESITY]

Wait...cows? I said crows :P

Oh boy, sorry about that, but crows now, yeah I personally love them as they look very bold and serious,

 

[Deleted member 23374]

depression snapshot

i've been neglectful lately
i make my rounds, true
i give one half of an hour of my life
here and there
otherwise i am
this thing

the weight is astonishing

 

[stygal]

I wish I could fly, just fly away to any small and uninhabited island. Lay there and die from starvation or drowning.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I have an embarrassing confession to make.

No one in my life would even try to stop me from suicide or talk me out of it, even if I posted my detailed plan in fb and tagged everyone I know. And I wish someone would care.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I have alcohol.
My life is complete.

Alles gut, kein problem!

 

[RottenDeer]

Im so exhausted of the thought of another week,

 

[BGM]

Taking life slowly makes life fulfilling, and longing for that day feels more sensible.

 

[stygal]

Driving on an empty and dark road is such a soothing activity

 

[VisionsOfHell]

I wish I could go hiking in the alpes one more time. Never in my life have I felt so clear-minded and clean.
When you see this landscape unfold before your eyes for the first time its as if a giant weight is lifted from your shoulders.
I know I'm being naive but I cannot imagine anyone being unhappy in a place like this.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I have successfully reached mild euphoria through vodka on a Tuesday morning.

ABSOLUT lol... (not sponsored)

fucking hate my life.
fucking shit piss fuck,
ew!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

She doesn't know that I've accelerated my plans to die. I don't want her to feel guilty for that. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her in a while. I wonder if she's ok? Does she need my help? I wonder if I can arrange to meet with her after my school ends...

 

[KleinerWolf]

this song so good when u have euphoria.
gonna go grocery run and fetch some shit.



tbf anything is good when u have euphoria.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Ugh f*ck euphoria is gone.
Back to miserable again lol

 

[Deleted member 23374]

i'm not afraid of ghosts
anymore
so visit if you're of a mind
just don't knock over my coffee

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It literally feels like time is going backwards, tonight is lasting so long. Wtf. Can it please be tomorrow? I hate this.

I'm tired and freaking out, and my instant reaction is "humor" when I'm uncomfortable. Everything right now feels like some big surreal joke. Mm. I really don't like this.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

The hand is tastier
than the meal it offers
needs pepper

 

[Deleted member 23374]

why did it take pope francis so long to acknowledge the persecution of the uyghurs?
i don't understand that one.