Random thoughts

[woxihuanni]

Really bad headaches today.

I still think about last night.
I called a "helpline" again and well, the lady at the other end was a bit strange and I didn't have the impression she really wanted to listen.
No, watching meditation videos on YouTube while my "life" is going downhill doesn't help. There is no help, I accept that, but at least... let me vent. I know, I vent a lot - even though it's quite pointless and I understand that it's quite annoying. But isn't it their job to listen at least? Also, keep religion and spirituality out of it. And please stop encouraging people to take pills, especially if they have bad experiences with them. Do they really believe pills solve everything?

I'm really tired now, my head hurts, and the rest of the evening will probably suck even more.

I am pretty sure that lady was not human as such, more like meat robot. I feel just that bit filthy to read what she said.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

if approached and asked

"Who are you ?"

i would like to think
that i would respond with

"...i don't know if i'm a vampire
or an empath... tomatoes etc.,
freedom fighter, terrorist, hero, hero

there is no divide for zero
groovy..."

and walk away

 

[Wraith]

I hate being an invalid. I feel like a leech. I wish I could be more, and not a let down to my family.

 

[Rue89]

I'm feeling so anxious and exhausted. The muscles in my face hurt from being tense. Trying to relax, but can't.

 

[TheSoulless]

On weekdays, I sleep 6 hours and am tired... on weekends, I sleep 10 hours but wake up at 2 in the afternoon, so I'm still tired.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

Why do people even breed

 

[Deleted member 23374]

the telling burn intermingling
with the fragrance
the commitment
to craft

i saw you seeing me,
the slink and swagger
toward your general direction
came naturally.

that sobering raking of imperfection
against bone
you took with no apology
i wanted to be yours

you forgot your own name
when my lips brushed your ear
you melted
and became mine

 

[KleinerWolf]

I hate it when people ask me where I'm from.
I wish I could be from somewhere I'm pleased with.

Where you from?
-China. *said it with a bitch resting face*

There are so many parallel universes where I could have said I'm from somewhere in Europe, or perhaps and say that with a genuine smile.

But no. Just "China"
Fuck me right? Ha.

I mean someone has to be from China.
Take one for the team.

 

[woxihuanni]

I hate it when people ask me where I'm from.
I wish I could be from somewhere I'm pleased with.

Where you from?
-China. *said it with a bitch resting face*

There are so many parallel universes where I could have said I'm from somewhere in Europe, or perhaps and say that with a genuine smile.

But no. Just "China"
Fuck me right? Ha.

I mean someone has to be from China.
Take one for the team.

Sometimes I wonder if my husband finds it so easy to obliterate me simply because I am the wrong nationality. Just step on her like a cockroach...

 

[Xocoyotziin]

I wish I hadn't abused the fuck out of psychedelics and dissociatives in the past because I could really use an earnest reset right now.
The price of shameless overindulgence

 

[KleinerWolf]

Sometimes I wonder if my husband finds it so easy to obliterate me simply because I am the wrong nationality. Just step on her like a cockroach...

I actually don't think it's a good situation for people of different citizenships to be together,
at least not citizenships from a different continent.

In same cases, I do believe people are vulnerable to abuse due to the citizenship issues.

It's not a good situation :(

 

[woxihuanni]

I actually don't think it's a good situation for people of different citizenships to be together,
at least not citizenships from a different continent.

In same cases, I do believe people are vulnerable to abuse due to the citizenship issues.

It's not a good situation :(

Yes he has abused his privilged position(s).

 

[Deleted member 23374]

a small metal box
adrift in the vacuum
shielded warm comfortable

a nearly tasteful/tragic blend of
the traditional and
some seriously space aged shit

i've pulled all the others
pushed all the eithers
and come up with neither

do i get wifi out here ?

 

[Deleted member 23374]

would be nice though...

 

[antigone_iris]

a small metal box
adrift in the vacuum
shielded warm comfortable

a nearly tasteful/tragic blend of
the traditional and
some seriously space aged shit

i've pulled all the others
pushed all the eithers
and come up with neither

do i get wifi out here ?

This is cool! I hope you get wifi out there if that's what you want. :)

 

[http-410]

Felt numb all day and now I feel different. Why can't I put into words what I feel?

In any case, it's not good. It feels like being torn and crushed.

Would it still make a difference to be physically destroyed?

Can I only become a unity when I am dead?

Have been thinking about trains all day.

 

[antigone_iris]

I should be sleeping now, but I don't want to.

 

[Wraith]

I seem to be on a rollercoaster straight to hell.

 

[waived]

Imagine that it gets worse

 

[Deleted member 23374]

...i don't think
it could be a delayed reaction

the ground came up fast
blood in my eye

fucking trip man, to be gone instantly
to scream silently on waking

how swift and knowing
an assassin

the bells.., i spend so much time ignoring
i missed the warning

my balancing act
a scattered fucking riot

the joke ? it gets me
i'm laughing.

 

[silent staring void]

I'm so desperate I don't know how to get my brother to stop abusing my cat. I can't move out and giving her away would ultimately be worse. I hate this evil little shit.

 

[Echo]

What makes me a target for the abusive guys?
Do i have it written on my forehead?
Is it in my personality?
I mean, what gives?
I'm wondering now if my new bf might be emotionally + psychologically messing with me.
Or is it all me?
Do i put off a scent like a dog in heat? Come get me, i'm vulnerable, i forgive, i love hard, i hate myself-
Sheesh.
A question for all time....

 

[KleinerWolf]

I'm so desperate I don't know how to get my brother to stop abusing my cat. I can't move out and giving her away would ultimately be worse. I hate this evil little shit.

start abusing your brother the same way he abuses your cat.
must let him know it's not okay and that there will be consequences.

tell him to back off and take his issues elsewhere.

 

[dropdeadfred]

I'm so desperate I don't know how to get my brother to stop abusing my cat. I can't move out and giving her away would ultimately be worse. I hate this evil little shit.

Worse for who/how so? Please don't let your cat be abused. You will find a way if you love your cat. I'm sorry your brother has caused such trouble to begin with.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I'm so desperate I don't know how to get my brother to stop abusing my cat. I can't move out and giving her away would ultimately be worse. I hate this evil little shit.

if you live with your parents, does your parents know about this?
can we have your parents involved to stop your brother?

otherwise it might be worth considering keep the cat at grandparents/a friend if they are animal-friendly.

 

[throwaway123]

I think I am finally coming to terms with my eventual demise. It took me a long time but I am becoming certain that CTB is what I want in the end.
I tried so hard, but in the end it didn't even matter. I did everything I could.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

i am a bug
not a feature

 

[KleinerWolf]

looks like I not only have moderate receeding gum line,
also recently has this noticeable pain in my wisdom tooth,
appears to be tooth decay exposing the nerves,

again, as a chinese national in new zealand, without healthcare, or money/job
not gonna do anything about it,

just gonna get SN and die.
Solves all problems at once.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The duality of man...

 

[Deleted member 23374]

SIGH... all dilligance, duty,
Duty, (let's not mention that, hmm?)

"i wil not quit my post...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"
duty, indeed

funky neck intended
snap's for free

i remember how long your cock
pressed against me

and if you ever come across this you'll know
it was me

if you had been a little more..,
courageous

flame off.....