Random thoughts

[Tiburcio]

Wishing is fine. The bad thing would be to actually do it.

Well, I don't know. To be fair, i wish for bad things to happen to some particular people sometimes. I wonder if that makes me a bad person.

Yes... Ironically I never liked sufferong but at the same time I want to do it and I control myself and hardly try not harming others.

It's complicated. Sometimes I wish I could be again the peaceful boy I was years ago, when I still wasn't destroyed. The hate against others can make you a bad person, like it made me. I try to fight against it... I don't do it very well but I'll continue.

 

[Tiburcio]

Suicide is very underrated. It's considered the very last thing a person should do... I just love how people seem to think ANY war with no exception is worth of fighting more. It's lost? Bah. It's painful? Fuck you, just fight against your will. It's not compensated after all the previous events which marked you? You are just lazy and weak. Oh god...

And people who think it because there is something to keep in their lifes...
Or who try to protect it over all the things and don't care about the awful quality of their life... Bah. Do whatever you want.

 

[ge0rge]

i'M Very hungry but I'm too lazy to go get something

i also need to finish like 4 lengthy projects within the span of a month

i cry everitim

 

[Morning Angel]

To everyone here: if you haven't been catfished before, it's quite an experience. Fake photos, sure - but nobody ever mentions the voice changers and how sophisticated they can be. And if you yourself have ever catfished someone and engaged in a romantic/sexual affair doing so, may the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy on your lonely, lying, socially anxious soul.

 

[ge0rge]

To everyone here: if you haven't been catfished before it's quite an experience. Fake photos, sure - but nobody ever mentions the voice changers and how sophisticated they can be. And if you yourself have ever catfished someone and engaged in a romantic/sexual affair doing so, may the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy on your lying soul.

story time?

 

[millefeui]

Straight from Game of Thrones

I never watched it. Too much pointless violence and sex for my tastes.

She says too much "pointless violence" as she plays Bloodborne. Oh, the irony. But the glorification of sex is what bothers me the most.

You answered your own question. We have limited control over our thoughts and feelings. It's okay to be angry or wish ill on someone. It's not okay to actively seek to make someone's life worse.

I wish for the same thing sometimes, but I usually take it back or feel remorse if it actually happens. People are how they are for a reason; that's why my goal is to kill myself and not others.

Yeah, I am not a violent person. Physically or verbally (though when I was a teenager, I was really nasty with my words). I have no desire to harm others though it is frustrating that others don't have the same courtesy towards me, and keep hurting me over and over again.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

But the glorification of sex is what bothers me the most.

Uh the sex scenes in GoT are just the worst, like if I wanted to watch porn I would go on some porn site, why are you showing me all these boobs and penises, FFS, move on with the actual plot already! >.<
It's a good show otherwise.

 

[millefeui]

Uh the sex scenes in GoT are just the worst, like if I wanted to watch porn I would go on some porn site, why are you showing me all these boobs and penises, FFS, move on with the actual plot already! >.<
It's a good show otherwise.

It cheapens the whole thing for me, but if others like the show, there is nothing I can do about it.

 

[RainAndSadness]

My dress arrived today. One step forward. I also have my lidocaine spray now. I'm close to my exit. The key items for my suicide are ready now.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

My dress arrived today. One step forward. I also have my lidocaine spray now. I'm close to my exit. The key items for my suicide are ready now.

If you allow me to ask, how do you plan to do it? So the spray? (The dress I suppose is because of something emotional)

 

[RainAndSadness]

If you allow me to ask, how do you plan to do it? So the spray? (The dress I suppose is because of something emotional)

Exactly. I simply want to die as feminine as possible. The lidocaine spray numbs the tongue and makes it easier for me to drink the N.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

Exactly. I simply want to die as feminine as possible. The lidocaine spray numbs the tongue and makes it easier for me to drink the N.

The N?

 

[RainAndSadness]

The N?

Exactly. My method is Nembutal, which has a terrible taste apparently. The lidocaine spray helps by numbing the tongue.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

Exactly. My method is Nembutal, which has a terrible taste apparently. The lidocaine spray helps by numbing the tongue.

You are lucky to have access to Nembutal.

 

[RainAndSadness]

You are lucky to have access to Nembutal.

I am. I'm very grateful.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

I am. I'm very grateful.

Can I pm you?

 

[RainAndSadness]

Can I pm you?

Yes of course.

 

[millefeui]

Such a good song.

 

[CRM]

Yeah, I am not a violent person. Physically or verbally (though when I was a teenager, I was really nasty with my words). I have no desire to harm others though it is frustrating that others don't have the same courtesy towards me, and keep hurting me over and over again.

I understand that. My family treats me like shit despite knowing what I'm going through. It's part of why I don't care how they'll feel when I'm gone. I feel bad enough for that alone, but I know they don't have any remorse for what they do.

Also, why can't Bloodborne be on PC? :(

 

[millefeui]

I understand that. My family treats me like shit despite knowing what I'm going through. It's part of why I don't care how they'll feel when I'm gone. I feel bad enough for that alone, but I know they don't have any remorse for what they do.

Also, why can't Bloodborne be on PC? :(

Unfortunately it is a Sony exclusive. I would prefer to have it (and Demon's Souls, great game) on PC.

 

[Tiburcio]

I hate

hate

HATE

my family so much.

 

[KCN]

I'm reading old videogame magazines and it feels like I'm floating mid-air. A soap bubble of nostalgia

 

[BxK]

Eat breakfast, workout until it hurts, shower, play video games, talk to my family, workout until I'm dizzy, shower, eat dinner, play video games, sleep.
That routine has been my way of living for two and a half years now, it's dull. I have no social life and never even had a single genuine friend, but that's through my own fault, maybe I'm supposed to be the one to reach out. But people scare me, and others disgust me. I don't understand these 'bonds' I think they are fake...yet it seems so real when I see some people friends for life.

Gosh...my way of living is boring and lonely.

 

[Tiburcio]

How do people find doing exercise enjoyable?

I only feel the impulse of stabbing myself

 

[BxK]

How do people find doing exercise enjoyable?

I only feel the impulse of stabbing myself

I did it back in the day looking for approval, to fit in with the 'popular' crowd. Pretty pathetic stuff.
I think most people just do it to look good, maybe, or show off.

I hate doing it honestly, I just do it now still because...now I need to wear myself out or I get overwelmed with panic attacks. And in a way, I really wish I would drop dead from a heart attack or the heat. As if I would be that lucky haha.

 

[millefeui]

^ This avatar picture creeps me out because of the context. I have played Persona 4.

As for exercising, I used to kinda sorta enjoy it several years ago, but I always had trouble committing to things and exercising is no exception.

 

[Tiburcio]

As for exercising, I used to kinda sorta enjoy it several years ago

How?

 

[KCN]

How do people find doing exercise enjoyable?

I used to have a "friend" (the proper definition would be "an acquaintance") who wasn't afraid to sit at his chair for 10 or more consecutive hours; if it hadn't been for that bunch of gym hours that he used to spend away from his brain-sucking job, his blood would have turned to stone

 

[Tiburcio]

I used to have a "friend" (the proper definition would be "an acquaintance") who wasn't afraid to sit at his chair for 10 or more consecutive hours; if it hadn't been for that bunch of gym hours that he used to spend away from his brain-sucking job, his blood would have turned to stone

I prefer leaving a petrified statue corpse rather than do to that activity of the devil.

 

[millefeui]

How?

Listening to music on headphones helped. I also jogged very early in the morning when there aren't a lot of people walking around.