Random thoughts

[Numbtopain97]

i don't know when i'm gonna stop being a pussy and end my suffering FFS

 

[ReverendGreen]

I miss the fuzzy warm feeling you get from cutting yourself and letting the blood run down your legs.

 

[SinisterKid]

You were my soulmate..............you rejected me...............I still miss you every single day! Love you always

 

[Return2Dust]

Life has been shit so far, what if I leave before the good stuff happens?

 

[Erin Inari]

I found a song that I really like, don't have any friends to show it to though.

 

[blanketyblk]

I got my cat back today. apparently she has been crying and meowing all nigtht for the last 2 nights and the poor old lady wasn't able to sleep.. my cat misses me.. aww. nice to be missed.

I found a song that I really like, don't have any friends to show it to though.

whats the song, people on here always like new music

 

[Dartz]

If I don't kill me, the combination of boredom and loneliness will do it by itself

 

[Numbtopain97]

maybe i should start cutting again

 

[SlackJim]

maybe i should start cutting again

I hear that, take it easy

 

[Erin Inari]

whats the song, people on here always like new music

Its a really weird song but i like it, it's a youtube original (its also in japanese) :

 

[Morphinekiss]

I bought a cactus today. Need something to talk to all night.

I really miss the days when I did drugs

why am I the most hateful towards myself at night?

 

[RM5998]

I lost my headphones last Friday. My head is too clouded to remember where exactly I left it. Perfect way to round off a shitty week. And the replacement I got turned out to be trash as well. I've requested a return and ordered the same model I had before, hopefully that will arrive on time and save me from having to hear my thoughts.

 

[Manaaja]

I'm unable to function. I had a failed suicide attempt which made me realize that I long for suicide. I need suicide. Nothing else can satisfy me nor bring me happiness. Despite that I'm suddenly getting these odd whims and I do things I'd normally never do. On top of that I want to talk, I spent five hours last weekend writing thread topics and posts and never posting them. I want to talk, but I don't want to talk. I'm really lonely, but I'm not alone enough. I'm in too much pain to function. Someone terminate me.

 

[Exitforme]

Life itself is a temporary problem. If you simply sit and wait it out it will eventually solve itself by self destruction.

 

[Lefty]

Wish assisted suicide was legal everywhere.

 

[inthespines]

Feels like I'm falling apart. It's 22:00 here now. Slept at the office last night and will probably sleep here again tonight. It's one of the few place where I feel safe. I have a lot of accounting to do but I can't fucking bring myself to do it. Haven't eaten in 2 days. Went and bought some wine. Helped me get through a couple of minutes work. Now I'm drunk and still can't bring myself to get any work done.

 

[vonvonwantpeace]

I don't belong in this world anywhere nor do I feel I belong in this life.

 

[blanketyblk]

The other day at work. i took my violin into work and at lunch time i went to the park and just started playing random music. was quite surprised that by the end of the 45 minutes i had around 30 people sitting around me listing to me. they where all impressed and some wanted to give me money. but then my anxiety of course flared up and i started to sweat and get very nervous and can barely talk, so i quickly pack up and fled. goes back to being and school and being surrounded by the pack of popular girls and they teasing me and bulling me until i cried. i swear it is like PTSD that i have. just straight flashbacks to those memories and i'm a nervous wreck.

anyway i got back to work and stayed in the bathroom for nearly another hour trying to compose myself. god i'm such a emotional broken person

 

[Morphinekiss]

Just put makeup on for the first time in a year. I guess I'm still considered pretty after all.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm hungry but I don't want to wake them up cooking. Though a murderer, very sweet in sleep. Quite the lamb.

 

[Manaaja]

A conversation I had today.

She, op: I weight 200kg, but you're not allowed to criticize me if you have ever smoked, drunk alcohol or taken drugs.
Me, a random commentor: I have never done any of those things. Actually, I wouldn't mind if all those things were illegal and punishable.
She: HAHAHA! WHAT A PITIFUL CREATURE! WHAT IS IT! SOME KIND OF TOTAL RETARD? YOU CAN'T CALL YOURSELF A HUMAN BEING AND NOT DRINK ALCOHOL AND TRY SMOKING AND DRUGS!
Me: Well, excuse me if alcohol and smoking along with drugs torture and kill millions of people both directly and indirectly yearly and cost our society over a billion euros every single year! Do you even know why smoking and alcohol are legal? Because billionaires pay politicians to keep them legal. You fatty!
She: How dare you call me fat, I hope you die a painful death you retarded fatphobic!

Sheesh, if that thing is a human, I'm a goddamn fucking nephalem or demigod. I refuse to be called the same species with those kinds of idiots.

 

[Morphinekiss]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

 

[Death.]

What's the cost of survival?
Is it the cost of death?

It's easy to live, but how you die is the test.

 

[thatguyakira123]

For a week now everything is irritating me. Doesn't help that allot of very minor bad things happened. Normally I'm not irrated and don't take things seriously cuz I know life is shit and everything bad happens so why bother? But this week man, as a result on Thuresday and Today I behave like a spoiled manipulating brat. Something I haven't done since I was 23. Thing is I knew if I lived long enough I KNEW that would come back. I wanted to die before that type of behavior returned. But thanks to me being bitch I am still here. Atleast my chest hurts. With all the anxiety I get 24/7 my heart might give out and I'll die, but that's just wishfull thinking.

 

[Erin Inari]

I applied for a job today. Anxiety is through the roof and I feel that it is just a futile gesture because I doubt i'll get it. If I somehow do I won't be around for much to actually enjoy the job. Just more of a thing to seem like I am functioning.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I saw this homeless looking guy today. You could tell from far that he "failed" life. He was playing with the pigeon and reminded me of me because I sometimes watch the pigeons too. I saw a broken man today. He wasn't just broken on the inside but also on the outside. There are millions of people like that all around the world. Because he reminded me of myself it scared me. I know I am broken on the inside and it's just a matter of time until I break on the outside as well. I don't want to become like that. At the same time it just makes me incredibly sad to know this is what life is like on earth. A wasteland full of billions of people living just like that in complete misery. What kind of fucked up world is it that we live in?
In that moment two question pop into my mind..1) Do I really want to live in a world like this? 2) If I decide to live here, do I adapt or do I stay the same and become a failure? I really don't want to live as an failure and I'm not sure if I want to adapt and become someone else to live in a cruel world like this.

The worst thing is people who have good intentions just get shit on in this world. Only the bad people succeed and that's cruel but real life. I had good intentions, I always tried to do the right thing and I lost everything including myself.
If I continue like this I'm going to lose...and honestly what is there to gain in that? There is no magical afterlife where everyone is going to cherish you because in real life only the bad people get cherished...that makes me even more sad. There really is no reason to be altruistic because if you do that it's worse than suicide, it's a slow painful death over years, decades of misery.
If I change, I'm gonne become just like all the other normies...and I'm not sure if that's worse or better...
If I die then I'm going into the unknown and I based one the years of indoctrination I am afraid of death and what happens after. Maybe I just need to overcome my fear, I just wish I knew how.

I feel exactly the same way, I'm completely broken on the inside. You're right about that, I was such a good person and I had nothing but good intentions but the world just crushed me down. I was hated, used, ridiculed, manipulated and abandoned. I don't know what I did to deserve any of it. I got tired of being altruistic, I became bitter, ruthless and vile.

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Story of my life. I was a good-hearted, soft and kind person and the more bad things that happened to me, I broke down to the point that I ended up becoming a villain. Now, I've got nothing good left inside of me and all I can do is cry and mourn for the girl I was.

 

[Lefty]

In a world of human wreckage.

 

[SinisterKid]

I had the worst nightmare I think ts possible to have. I was sat on the bottom of some stairs watching a ticking clock. Nothing too sinister in that I hear you say. The nightmare part was, time was going backwards!!

 

[Life sucks]

I have a mind. I ask myself about the problem of other minds. I know that everyone have mind and can think like me but the fuck is happening that I see many non-thinking humans. Zero thinking and zero deduction no matter what happens. No wonder why they live in absurd life and continue it.

 

[Morphinekiss]

I burnt the roof of my mouth and somehow THATS the thing to push me over the edge? Not everything else going on, but burn my mouth and break down like an idiot.