One of the only things (aside from the fear of death) that has prevented me from ctbing, is my dream of having an art career. That dream is pretty much broken to a million piece now. It's really discouraging to work anywhere from 5 to 10 hours on a piece, only to see it receive 0 likes and retweets. Then I post the same pic on other art sites and while it does get attention there, it's only a few likes.
Meanwhile there's this really bad but very popular artist who draws really shitty fan art and still gets 500 likes and retweets. I always see her trash art everywhere. I'm 100% convinced that she wouldn't get even tenth of that if she wasn't a young pretty girl who is always reminding others that she is in fact a young pretty girl. (Then she complains about all the young men who message her telling her that she is beautiful and that they'd like to date her lol! Maybe if her only worth wasn't being a young pretty girl she would get job offers instead of date offers.) Really, I drew better art when I was 15. Her drawings are so simple and bad, none of them could have taken more than 15 minutes. And they all look as if she traced the official art badly, slapped a few colors, and called it a day.
Then if I complain that my art doesn't get any or much likes, I trigger a lot of princesses and get so much hate on my neck for daring to be negative. I hate the fucking art community these days, full of Tumblrinas who police what is correct to feel and say. "We must help each other! Make friends not enemies! People don't like negativity! Negativity hurts you and your art!". Then those fucking snowflake princesses go and only retweet art that already has at least 50 retweets and only follow artists who already have at least 500 followers. "We must help small artists!" they claim as they post those fucking stupid pathetic "Let's help fellow artists get more followers! Please share your art and retweet!" threads. I see at least 5 of those threads every week, and they are all really popular. Funny thing, though, that no matter how much I share my art on them and follow those shitty young artists, they never follow back. Just a few days ago, I followed 50 artist (most of whom were shit) who all had less than 500 followers. Guess who were the only ones who followed me back? The two PROFESSIONAL and older male artists! Hahaha...haha.
I see lots of shitty fetish and porn art get easily anywhere from 100 to 500 likes as well. There's this guy who always posts the same shitty pic everyday, just changes the hair color or length or something small, and still every pic of his gets over 100 likes. And people fucking PAY him to do it. He makes money with a Patreon. Plus he takes commissions and people actually commission him to change the hair color or some shit. Unbelievable.
But I really want the money, I want the popularity. I want to post an artwork and get lots of likes and attention. I want to get rewarded for working so hard on my art, and sacrificing time and money to learn and get better. I want to feel like I'm good at something, I want to feel liked. My whole life I've been ignored and belittled. It's only natural and justified that I want to feel like I'm worth something. Maybe I should do the same things as those guys do. Throw my dignity and skills out of the window and draw whatever sells. Maybe even draw a pic of a young pretty woman and use it as my avatar to draw in all the girls (who often follow people based on their looks and gender and not their skills) and boys who follow everything that looks female.
