Hey if it makes you feel any better(no, probably not), I was useless enough that I've decided to give up on that internship and I'm back at being a useless student, which is a worse kind of useless.
When I'm inebriated, I focus only on the most immediate task, and that makes the day better (less time spent ruminating on how my life is headed towards a dead end). I spent my last internship doing actual work for the first 20 days, and wallowing in a pool of self-pity for the remaining 30. I was supposed to get at least a demo for a game built, but all I managed to do was get some random CC0 artwork and build a prototype with that, and I presented some shitty rushed drawings to go along with it to call it complete, and get a LOR. My script plans were written in the back of my notebook, and were barely legible (not that reading them would make them make sense, considering that I never managed to make the professor I was under comprehend what I was going for). I wanted to finish the game before I died, but I guess that it's going to go on the pile of things I should have done but didn't.
Wait, the game is not part of your current internship? I think that you're overloaded. I would break under so much pressure, as I did, partly because I still have exams and I was supposed to learn a new framework in a foreign language for the internship and had to learn to cooperate with others and tolerate their pressence and not take half an hour long sessions of staring at the walls.
Nah, that was for my summer internship. My current one is mandated by the university, the last one was one I wanted (or rather, thought I wanted, turned out to be sadly mistaken on that).
Nah, I'm doing much less that any of my peers. They're all preparing for job interviews as well, I'm just barely managing to get by.
I broke about 2 years ago, and I've spent my time since then watching myself rot while I'm still breathing. I've picked up a fair bit of stuff on the way though, turned out to be much easier than it appeared originally. I've had my hour-long sessions of sitting on the beanbag, watching random YouTube videos or trying to make my thoughts stop on bad days.
TBH, the ideas weren't that great, so... IDK if it would have been worth his time to listen. I haven't seen much like the stuff I'd thought of in most stuff on the market, but that doesn't mean that I would be able to make a product that can communicate what I'm going for to the audience. Not being able to make other people understand what I'm thinking is kinda my special ability.
That was me in the last semester, which is why I'm still doing exams in October. A new semester is starting on Monday and I still haven't passed databases... the easiest exam this year. The last opportunity to do it is tomorrow and I'll probably be the only one there. I might even lose my scholarship.
I hope it all works out for you and you find the peace your after. Hugs!
I had no clue what it meant either. I just say kill myself.
Why?
