Random thoughts

[15dec]

Less going on/less people around/less stimuli?

More going on but less people. It's pretty good that way imo

 

[suffering]

I got angry today because of some rude person and as I got angry I felt a deep pain in the lower right side of my abdomen, I could barely move. I feel old.

 

[Donewith_]

When you are surrounded by ton of question marks, what do you do

 

[throwaway123]

Can't wait to do it.
I'm scared, excited,sad and angry at the same time....

 

[thishappened]

This world is depressing. What to do when depression is your default setting.
Why was I born if I was going to suffer and only death will set you free

 

[throwaway123]

I've got a solid plan to CTB now. I just hope I don't chicken out of it.

I think the key is being calm in the moment.

 

[thishappened]

My parent's relationship was so dysfunctional, one being a narcissist and another schizophrenic. why in the hell did they think having children would be a good idea lol. I wonder how I mentally would be if I were loved by my parents and not neglected and constantly criticized.

 

[AhG]

I think fucked up. I wrote a 32 page letter to my wife and sent it to her. Then I messaged her on our wedding anniversary and told her I hoped that she was ok. She looked at it, and I was happy. The next day the package arrived and I'm assuming she's opened and might have read it. I've messaged her twice in the last 2 days and she won't even look at it. I shouldn't have sent the letters, I should have just kept my damn feelings to myself! We would be half ass talking and I would be happy, but instead... I'm just here, wondering if she hates me for explaining everything. My depression has gotten worse and my suicidal thoughts have gotten bad. I felt ok when we were talking, I could deal with life, but now that she won't say or look at my messages, I feel empty... I don't know what to do.... I'm fucking helpless and I don't know what to do...

 

[throwaway123]

I think fucked up. I wrote a 32 page letter to my wife and sent it to her. Then I messaged her on our wedding anniversary and told her I hoped that she was ok. She looked at it, and I was happy. The next day the package arrived and I'm assuming she's opened and might have read it. I've messaged her twice in the last 2 days and she won't even look at it. I shouldn't have sent the letters, I should have just kept my damn feelings to myself! We would be half ass talking and I would be happy, but instead... I'm just here, wondering if she hates me for explaining everything. My depression has gotten worse and my suicidal thoughts have gotten bad. I felt ok when we were talking, I could deal with life, but now that she won't say or look at my messages, I feel empty... I don't know what to do.... I'm fucking helpless and I don't know what to do...

at least now she knows how you really feel.....

 

[WOODESITY]

I wish that it was always night and darkness everywhere, I feel comfortable in dark and light is just something I never liked, my family think I'm weird for that, I may be

 

[omoidarui]

Random thought: am i going to get to 100 posts first, or 200 likes

 

[Halo13]

Random thought: am i going to get to 100 posts first, or 200 likes

Gave you a like
Random thought: tired of appointments for specialists that can't cure me. It's a constant reminder of a desire to ctb. It's also time consuming, exhausting and ultimately pointless with all things considered. Incurable disease = just let me die already, none of these treatments make life "comfortable".

 

[marcusuk63]

i've snapped , Crackled and I`m about to pop !

 

[omoidarui]

the bus stop

 

[throwaway777]

i love my friends

 

[AhG]

I don't know anymore.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Keeping me going

 

[Scribble Fan]

I want to recover but this world isn't even close to worth living in. There's something deeply wrong with people, society, nature... everything. It's so hard to carry on with this thought constantly popping up in my mind as I'm reminded every time I look outside.

Sometimes I want to CTB just out of pure revulsion, this disgust runs so deep I feel sick to my stomach many days. Why the fuck is this all here? Why is it all like this? Nothing makes sense, it's all pretty bad in the end...

Yes, I'm bitter.

 

[Rukia]

So it is 3:32 AM local time and I cant sleep...I am thinking about opening "I cant sleep thread"...

 

[throwaway777]

it feels like no one really cares

 

[suffering]

I have so much paperwork to take care off. I hate paperwork. I just get stuck in a state of mind where I just freeze... I can't even begin. I know I shouldn't complain, as it's just paperwork. I could be facing some serious shit. And yet here I am suck. Why was I brought into this world? I have no interest in it. Why is it so hard to survive?

 

[throwaway123]

I don't understand how people can still believe there is purpose in suffering.
No! Suffering is pointless!!! When will you fucking get it???!?!?

 

[omoidarui]

I don't understand how people can still believe there is purpose in suffering.
No! Suffering is pointless!!! When will you fucking get it???!?!?

Suffering brings us together and helps us understand each other. Without suffering there wouldn't be online communities like this one, that's the only positive. Sometimes I feel I can't connect to a person about something unless they've been through the same as me. Although I guess you could say friendship and empathy are also ultimately pointless. Life is pointless overall.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Armed Neo-Nazis Crash Detroit Pride with Police Escort

In Detroit, a very old threat to the Pride movement reared its head today as the rainbow flag fell under the shadow of a Swastika.

gritpost.com

Thanks to all nazis out there that confirm the notion that I don't belong into this world. Thanks for making me feel even less welcome in this society. The next time someone says I'm not allowed to commit suicide, I'll just show them this. At least these nazis are supporting my case.

 

[Halo13]

I'm bothered much more than usual tonight thinking about my parents being dead for so many years already. I think I should've been with them. Would be nice to have a picture of my father at least.

 

[suffering]

I just made a dark humor joke at work. A really really bad one. I couldn't even control it, that's what it hurts me most, the lack of control and self awareness. It just hit me 5 minutes after...
This is why I never made it in life and probably never will.... I have the mind of an impulsive reckless child.
Someone please just kill me.

I just made a dark humor joke at work. A really really bad one. I couldn't even control it, that's what it hurts me most, the lack of control and self awareness. It just hit me 5 minutes after...
This is why I never made it in life and probably never will.... I have the mind of an impulsive reckless child.
Someone please just kill me.

Jessus Christ... 10 min ago I was laughing and now I'm going insane thinking I might actually get fired. Why is everything so hard?

I just made a dark humor joke at work. A really really bad one. I couldn't even control it, that's what it hurts me most, the lack of control and self awareness. It just hit me 5 minutes after...
This is why I never made it in life and probably never will.... I have the mind of an impulsive reckless child.
Someone please just kill me.

Jessus Christ... 10 min ago I was laughing and now I'm going insane thinking I might actually get fired. Why is everything so hard?

Ok, fuck this. I'm changing my perspective. I won't sweat this. It's hard to control who I am. If they fire me or ostracize me, fine. I'll be on my way. Fucking tired of caring, fucking tired of always being on guard. A generation of pussies. I'm not even in this shit because I want to, but because I can't end. Might as well live with some strength.

 

[Manaaja]

For a year or two now I've felt guilty about being disinterested in, and feeling tired and bored of playing Pokemon games. I've been a huge Pokemon fan for almost 20 years! How could I ever dislike Pokemon? Yesterday, I laid all my handheld games on a table and I realized something. Over the years I've collected a huge amount of Pokemon games! If I counted correctly, I have 16 main line games + 5 spin-offs! (+ I've played some of the missing games on an emulator and also played some free Pokemon games.) I might have played thousands of hours of Pokemon! No wonder I can't find the spark anymore. Somehow my mind was still living in the days past when I only had a few Pokemon games. I can still remember when I was so sad that I only had a few Pokemon games. Funny how too much good can be bad too.

Sigh. I should complete Ultra Moon so I can meet him, my husbando.

 

[To match the colors]

i wish i had a cute girlfriend to be honest....but im so busy and even if i werent i am such a disgrace of a human being that i would never be able to get one. i hate myself.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

All I want is her. Please god why can't you just give me her. You rather I die

 

[AhG]

All I want is her. Please god why can't you just give me her. You rather I die

I know this feeling...