Random thoughts

[ArtsyDrawer]

Hospitalised. Since I "didn't stool", as the nurse phrases it, I've been fed some kind of shits inducing slime.
She said it's very potent and that I'll know when it acts. This sounds terrifying. They're trying to induce seizures to get the brain reading hat to have some reading material.
The mental imagery my brain produces is both amusing and NSFL.

 

[Halo13]

Hospitalised. Since I "didn't stool", as the nurse phrases it, I've been fed some kind of shits inducing slime.
She said it's very potent and that I'll know when it acts. This sounds terrifying. They're trying to induce seizures to get the brain reading hat to have some reading material.
The mental imagery my brain produces is both amusing and NSFL.

Hugs. I've had seizures induced for my Epilepsy. It was terrible. Better you "stool" before the seizures than during because it will likely cause you to soil yourself

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Hugs. I've had seizures induced for my Epilepsy. It was terrible. Better you "stool" before the seizures than during because it will likely cause you to soil yourself

Yeah, no shit! (Hurhur)
I'm trying to get some soap because I'm deathly afraid of toilet paper. The "toilet paper scene" weirds me out. The idea is just so weird. Why keep more shit particles if you can wash them off?

Edit: some good news, though, they've managed to induce some low caliber auras, so the hat did just get reading material.

 

[Andthesunsank]

Shitty poetry.

This lethargy comes and goes with a will of it's own.

Always without hit or sound.
An actor that plays in the shadows lacking a definite part.

Does it punish the soul for effort?
Perhaps only to contort.

Consantly wondering if I carved into this stone.
Seething about I shall confound.

I the driver stay in the gallows wishing an iminent start.

Forfeit your selfish toll and let go.
Relinquish all control.

 

[Life+me=error]

Don't take life too seriously...you'll never make it out alive

 

[throwaway123]

LIfe is not fair. It all comes down to genetics and the environment. Everything is determined by it. We are who we are. Do we really ever have a choice?
Sometimes it feels like I have a choice but that feels like an illusion. I hope there is no afterlife. Does anyone else think that we might've been very bad in a previous life so we suffer now for it? I know this belief is irrational but still it haunts me.

Not everyone can be a doctor.

 

[WOODESITY]

LIfe is not fair. It all comes down to genetics and the environment. Everything is determined by it. We are who we are. Do we really ever have a choice?
Sometimes it feels like I have a choice but that feels like an illusion. I hope there is no afterlife. Does anyone else think that we might've been very bad in a previous life so we suffer now for it? I know this belief is irrational but still it haunts me.

Not everyone can be a doctor.

I've thought about it in past that this life is suffering for me because who i was in previous life, also thought that because of my past mistakes I'm being punished, i can relate, that I've choices and maybe because I've been told over and over again that I've chosen to fail and missed all opportunities which already means nothing to me

 

[Dartz]

I can't imagine a life without constant regret

 

[ZixivaldYrxes]

I want to hug someone really tight and snuggle deep into their chest and then fall asleep for a long long time

 

[Anchors]

I'm on the brink of a future I don't want to see. That I hoped I wouldn't be here for. Things are already worse than I could have ever imagined. I wish this could just end. CTB in itself is an ordeal and I'm way too tired. Life is so stupid.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't tell anyone about the abuse I got in childhood and the sexual or embarrassing stuff at all even online. The first time I told a "friend", I got blocked. What the fucking fuck. Fucking life and fucking humans

 

[sunny.sativa]

If I was another person that knew myself, even barely at all, I'd have thoughts of murdering me. I'm so fucking vile, it's almost a joke.

 

[thishappened]

I hate myself, I'm clingy and I've nothing to offer, no wonder everyone always leaves me. I feel so damn lonely. If someone just cared. But why would they?

 

[Fadinglife]

I am hurting too much today. It's unbearable. Hate to surrounded by pro life people. I wish i could just have the tools to end it today. I want it to end, the suffering and pain and be free of it. Sleep forever.

 

[Fadinglife]

I hate myself, I'm clingy and I've nothing to offer, no wonder everyone always leaves me. I feel so damn lonely. If someone just cared. But why would they?

Clingy is subjective and it has various shades depending on the people involved. I lothe that the word is overused. It simply means, " My partner wants more attention than i am willing to give."

 

[throwaway123]

Life is not fair. When I think of other people like me I can't help but think that our lives are beyond our control. How much control do we really have?

so much is determined by genetics and environment

 

[Loli]

Left the house for the first time this weekend and already lost a pack of smokes. Karma. Arrrrghhhhh!

 

[Manaaja]

Someone once said: "Tough times make tough people, tough people make soft times, soft times make soft people, soft people make tough times." And that reminds me... Why haven't we had World War 3 yet? When will it happen? Also, what countries will be in it? Who will win? Who will lose? How will it affect the world? Guess only time will tell.

 

[spanishguy22]

I discovered how weird and overly empathetic I could be very early on. I was really sad about throwing away the plastics of my school snacks. Someone like me in such a cruel shithole weren't the best starting odds.

 

[Circles]

Just took 3 different meds and probably shouldn't have but nothing is working. I'm trying so hard not to get into the negativity but it's as if I cannot never run away from it. I keep thinking I'm going to to get passed this every time and here I'm in my mother's bedroom cause can't deal with feeling like this alone. I'm am fucking tired of feeling so inadequate and no matter how I may make it through another day it just comes crashing down again. All progress lost. Like what the fuck gives? Everytime fucking time, every damn day the numbness just amplifies the dark emotions and distorts any decent thoughts from happening. I do not want to hurt my mom and my family but it's like I already feel the pain they will feel all at once. I keep crying and at this point it's the only thing that's stabilizing the darkness but it just not helping. Nothing is helping fuck. And now I'm done typing this down I have nothing left to do besides look at a wall and wollow in this pit of shit. Just please please stop. Make it stop please.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Been working on my car a bit, it's helping me feel a little better. I like seeing tangible improvements to something. I replaced the bumper and headlights and she looks pretty mean and new again.



In other news, I'm old. My gf is quite a bit younger than me, and I overheard her friend say "he's like... a man man". I mean, I don't know what a man man is, but I assume it's old. The thought of aging beyond this point and possibly falling off people's romantic or sexual radars really bothers me for some reason.

 

[15dec]

All I ask for is a productivity/health app that doesn't demand a monthly subscription as soon as I sign up

 

[lululoo]

Been working on my car a bit, it's helping me feel a little better. I like seeing tangible improvements to something. I replaced the bumper and headlights and she looks pretty mean and new again.

View attachment 11472

In other news, I'm old. My gf is quite a bit younger than me, and I overheard her friend say "he's like... a man man". I mean, I don't know what a man man is, but I assume it's old. The thought of aging beyond this point and possibly falling off people's romantic or sexual radars really bothers me for some reason.

Let me tell you, that does not mean you're old. I know what she means as I remember talking like that when I was younger. A boy man would be like leo DiCaprio in titanic. Skinny, goofy, young looking, not dominant, not sexually intimidating. A man man would be more like khal drogo or something.
Or you know flight of the concords? Brett is a boy man, jermaine is a man man.
Both have their charms!
Don't feel old, please. You are a man and are deemed attractive until you're 70 or something. Try being a 30 something woman.

 

[Soul]

Nice article if paleontology interests you:

The Day the Dinosaurs Died

A young paleontologist may have discovered a record of the most significant event in the history of life on Earth.

www.newyorker.com

 

[throwaway123]

Today I once again realized the importance of looks. I notice it every day everywhere. It's everyone. Looking good helps you a lot even if you're the most fucked up person. If you look good people forgive you. Man all of that is so fake.
If a person is born with good genes they did not do anything to deserve that. I don't know why they treat them better than the rest. I know it's part of their animalistic instincts but still...being human means to get rid of this animalistic part. Becoming more...

When I look around all I see is a society built on sex, power, money and drugs. Lies everywhere. Every smile is fake. Every relationship based on sex,fame, status, money or power.True love does not exist here. It is very rare to see that.
People think about their lives in terms of pleasure. I often hear these people talking about destiny and god. Yet their belief in it is allowed by pure chance. They are the priviliged, the lucky ones. Because they had such luck they can believe in it. Is it destiny to end up homeless, beaten to death etc...?

I was once in love with a women.She was the only person I ever cared about or took interest in. I was rejected and it broke my heart. I eventually got over it but it caused a domino effect. I learned to see the world in it's true colors. This was the moment live really went downhill for me. Everything collapsed, one after one.
But it has also made me aware of everything. I am no longer asleep like the rest of society.
I don't fit in anywhere. I am the outcast, I have always been. This sucks but I won't change for anyone or anything. I'd rather die as an honest person than conform to a sick society.
All the "friends" I used to have are gone. This is a small town so everyone knows each other. They hate me and I honestly can't wait to get the hell out of here.
It's so sick and it hurts to think about it. The one person I cared for has become that which I despise the most and there's nothing I can do to change it.
I am left with noone. I am alone and it does not bother me.
I have been unable to find people like me. Maybe here there are a few but none that live close by. Besides the time for friends has passed.
It hurts knowing I am not normal. I am the weirdo and does it ever really pay off? Not for everyone. Maybe for a few smart people but not for people like us.
I do not want to be a part of society and I do not want to be a loser.
I wish there was a world for people like us.

 

[Manaaja]

I often spend anywhere from 15 min to 120 min writing a reply or even an op, only to delete it because I'm a socially anxious coward who's too afraid to reveal their true thoughts and feelings.

 

[marcusuk63]

Nice article if paleontology interests you:

The Day the Dinosaurs Died

A young paleontologist may have discovered a record of the most significant event in the history of life on Earth.

www.newyorker.com

I just knew before i open the article it would have hit America lol we will be fine when the next one comes as there are plenty of large breasted, blonde , tight short wearing 20 year old experts with 30 years experience now , i`ve seen them all saving the world on the Horror channel mega disaster movies
, they always save the day

 

[Soul]

It's a cool article anyway, @markusuk63! I think the paleontologist in this case hasn't got very large breasts, and his shorts seem a bit on the baggy side.
I did enjoy the description of the simulation of the meteor strike. It would be all right with me to see something like that, as long as I were close enough to get wiped right away. I wouldn't be any good at wandering around dystopian landscapes.

 

[marcusuk63]

It's a cool article anyway, @markusuk63! I think the paleontologist in this case hasn't got very large breasts, and his shorts seem a bit on the baggy side.
I did enjoy the description of the simulation of the meteor strike. It would be all right with me to see something like that, as long as I were close enough to get wiped right away. I wouldn't be any good at wandering around dystopian landscapes.

I would just sit laughing at all the people panicking , I bet there would be people looting lol...
I do like films where the world ends though guess i am a freak hoping i will see it one day lol , one of my favourites is Melancholia which is as much about depression s as it is about the planet which is about to crash into the Earth. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1527186/

 

[Soul]

I would just sit laughing at all the people panicking , I bet there would be people looting lol

You bet there would, the mad bastards!
I'd rather watch the plumes of debris escaping Earth's orbit. It was more eco-friendly debris back then, though. Now it would be great wads of fat and plastic.

Now for a completely different random thought:

It's kind of a standard that "no parent should ever have to bury their child". It's striking how strongly the culture embraces that, when say 70 years ago it was totally commonplace for parents to bury multiple children, because more babies died than survived. A few years ago I helped a local cemetary create a database a5nd it was unmistakable when penicillin became available in the community. Suddenly way fewer babies (and mothers) were dying.

It's amazing how quickly our take on the deaths of children changed.