
15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,550
What am I even doing with my life
An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.
Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.
Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post
Donate via cryptocurrency:
It sounds to me like you just wanted people to acknowledge how unhappy you were. There's nothing "sick," "selfish," or "demented" about that.I am a sick, selfish and demented human for being like this, but as a child, I wanted to slit my wrists in the school bathroom, near the locker rooms and bleed out everywhere and be seen by all the kids. I wanted to be found almost dead, not quite, and I also wanted to be saved. I wanted to be that badass at school that had the balls to try to die.
I was conflicted because I DID want to really die, but nasty little me wanted the attention, too.
I fantasized about leaving a short but detailed note on lined yellow paper, calling out each of the bullies that had drove me to that point.
It seems stupid and wasteful. No one needs to know how I suffer, I wish I had known that, because no one cares, y'know? We all die, the people that would have seen me die would have died eventually too, and none of it matters.It sounds to me like you just wanted people to acknowledge how unhappy you were. There's nothing "sick," "selfish," or "demented" about that.
Yeah, I know how you feel. But it's perfectly natural to want other people to see your suffering. Nothing "demented" about that.It seems stupid and wasteful. No one needs to know how I suffer, I wish I had known that, because no one cares, y'know? We all die, the people that would have seen me die would have died eventually too, and none of it matters.
I really appreciate your words. Thank you.Yeah, I know how you feel. But it's perfectly natural to want other people to see your suffering. Nothing "demented" about that.
Btw, I know it probably sounds trite, and insignificant, but some people do care. I don't know you, but I care.
Also, I like your avatar.
Ugh this! Same here! Every damn night I have the worst most vivid nightmares. I have insomnia and can never get to sleep but when I do there is nothing like being jolted awake from a nightmare...I'm sick of nightmares and jerking awake full of panic with my heart pounding. I wish there was an "off" switch for my heart.
Yeah, my insomnia is resistant to meds. I get a 16 hour crash once or twice a month. The other nights are awful, maybe a couple hours. I've had dark circles under my eyes for years.Ugh this! Same here! Every damn night I have the worst most vivid nightmares. I have insomnia and can never get to sleep but when I do there is nothing like being jolted awake from a nightmare...
Yeah, my insomnia is resistant to meds. I get a 16 hour crash once or twice a month. The other nights are awful, maybe a couple hours. I've had dark circles under my eyes for years.
K is wild. Took it once but cried alot. Is today your day?i have dark circles like gaara from naruto (look it up LOL)
my dreams are mixed, maybe sexual, maybe war, maybe random shit, but mostly something with my ex. and when i wake up i feel so fuckin exhausted that i already start taking multiple drugs and smoke weed to it. now i'm out of it. good day to die, i think this either happens at a day like today where i have to be sober or another day where the ketamine makes me so numb and sad that i just want to do it. i hope i can ctb soon, i dont want no talk about it anymore i just want to be set free from my obession for her
K is wild. Took it once but cried alot. Is today your day?
Miss you xI tried really hard to live. All for nothing. My death is inevitable. It will happen. Maybe now or in 10 years.
At some point I have to face it. I just wonder when that's going to be.