TapeMachine

TapeMachine

perpetually confused
Jan 12, 2023
406
Woke up nauseated. "Not today, fucker!" said my pancreas. The SN will be bad enough. I'm nibbling saltines and drinking mint tea, to settle my stomach.
Bitch ass pancreas... 😏

Hey, atleast you're playing it smart. Just relax and enjoy kitty snuggles a little more, listen to your favorite tunes, or just whatever the hell you wanna do. ❤
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
Bitch ass pancreas... 😏

Hey, atleast you're playing it smart. Just relax and enjoy kitty snuggles a little more, listen to your favorite tunes, or just whatever the hell you wanna do. ❤
Mark and I called it "Hanky Panky." The nurses at my hospital referred to the pancreas as Panky, so we just rolled with that. I think I'm gonna stretch out on the sofa in my den. Throw in "Animal House," for the millionth time. Have a few last laughs, ya know?


Have some Stereolab.
hope its going well and smoothly, pls update us
I will. I'm posting music, but I'm around. My friend here will let you know when it's done. I was just too nauseated today.
 
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W

whoevencares

Member
Feb 28, 2023
20
Best wishes
 
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TapeMachine

TapeMachine

perpetually confused
Jan 12, 2023
406
"Hanky Panky" lmao! Equal parts corny and perfect! 😄

Animal House is always a good watch. 😀 I might put that on as well. Yeah, I think I will!
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263


This one might be a little different, especially for those Non-Americans, here. It's some of the best Western Swing and steel-guitar you will ever hear.
I grew up in west Texas. Don Walser was a Lamesa boy, and a champion of people who were othered. Mark and I were sad, when he died.

Give it a try! Don't worry! I've got Erasure, coming up soon!

Sorry to be a pain. I have no other outlet.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
9,494
Hi there,
I'm sorry to see you go. I hope you find peace. :heart::hug::heart::hug::heart:
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
"Hanky Panky" lmao! Equal parts corny and perfect! 😄

Animal House is always a good watch. 😀 I might put that on as well. Yeah, I think I will!
Especially Bluto's speech!
 
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travelersk66

travelersk66

New Member
Mar 31, 2023
2
Hope you find peace @nonialabaster !, all best wishes😄
 
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WaitingToGo

WaitingToGo

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
233
I wish I had your courage. I hope your passing is smooth and pain free
Thank you for recommending BofC. I'd never heard of them before but my taste in music. They are very similar to Tycho.
Peace sister
 
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Lxions

Lxions

they/he
Apr 6, 2023
78
Woke up nauseated. "Not today, fucker!" said my pancreas. The SN will be bad enough. I'm nibbling saltines and drinking mint tea, to settle my stomach.
i hope you feel better soon<3 :(
 
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body_snatcher

body_snatcher

green and lonely
Jan 23, 2023
39


Mark and I had the pleasure of seeing Belle and Sebastian in Austin, back in the day. I hope you sweeties enjoy it.

I love Belle and Sebastian, I've seen them live as well. Wishing you only the best <3
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263


Here's some more Townes. The last song my beloved Mark played.
 
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E

Exit-Life

Member
Apr 6, 2023
13
I hope you find peace. Know that we're thinking of you and you are not alone.
 
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Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
I came here to apologize.
It has something to do with my personal values and experience but I am still too stuck in that to see behind it. I don't know if you are still here to read this but I sincerely apologize. I realize that I am in no place to judge especially since I was too stupid to not even read your backstory. I really am sorry. I wish you all the Best, whatever that may be. May the future treat you well!
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
I came here to apologize.
It has something to do with my personal values and experience but I am still too stuck in that to see behind it. I don't know if you are still here to read this but I sincerely apologize. I realize that I am in no place to judge especially since I was too stupid to not even read your backstory. I really am sorry. I wish you all the Best, whatever that may be. May the future treat you well!
I accept your apology, because I'm a decent person. I still don't think you should be on this forum. People here are in a lot of pain, and careless words, like yours, do nothing to help us. They damage us further. Maybe Reddit is a better place for you. Kindly, and with all sincerity, fuck off.


This is Cake, doing a cover of one of the best Drag Anthems ever, by Miss Gloria Gaynor.


Get ready, kiddos! Here's some Beastie Boys! A truly great song and video, by the great Spike Jonze. Big video dump from Noni, today. My tummy has settled, letter mailed, and tonight is the night. I even managed to mow my lawn this morning!I have one of those quiet electric Japanese mowers, so I can mow in the early hours.
 
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Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
I accept your apology, because I'm a decent person. I still don't think you should be on this forum. People here are in a lot of pain, and careless words, like yours, do nothing to help us. They damage us further. Maybe Reddit is a better place for you. Kindly, and with all sincerity, fuck off.
I know and I understand. I am not trying to be careless as I have dealt with ctb thoughts for years and experienced thoughts and attempts on friends. I understand that it was an half assed attempt for nothing. I will try not to hurt more people.

Thank you for accepting it and again, safe travels.
 
Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
Oh lord. Some pretty privilaged person is going to come on people's thread and say life is worth living. Of course you'd say that since you have all the privilages in the world.

Like the OP said, fuck off.
I really don't. I didn't know Op's back story but neither do you know mine. This isn't being any better than me.
But I am sorry if I hurt you with what I said and I understand your reaction.

Have a good day
 
nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
I wish I had your courage. I hope your passing is smooth and pain free
Thank you for recommending BofC. I'd never heard of them before but my taste in music. They are very similar to Tycho.
Peace sister
You're very welcome. I'm glad you like Boards of Canada. Mark loved Tycho, as well. Check out Aphex Twin, too And Brian Eno. The ambient stuff.

My musical taste is all over the place. Mark kept me centered, but, since he died, I go nuts. We had similar taste, but, since he was the musician in the family, I deferred to him.
I know and I understand. I am not trying to be careless as I have dealt with ctb thoughts for years and experienced thoughts and attempts on friends. I understand that it was an half assed attempt for nothing. I will try not to hurt more people.

Thank you for accepting it and again, safe travels.
Again, please fuck off and leave this thread. Go save somebody else. You are nothing but a bother.
 
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WaitingToGo

WaitingToGo

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
233
You're very welcome. I'm glad you like Boards of Canada. Mark loved Tycho, as well. Check out Aphex Twin, too And Brian Eno. The ambient stuff.

My musical taste is all over the place. Mark kept me centered, but, since he died, I go nuts. We had similar taste, but, since he was the musician in the family, I deferred to him.

Again, please fuck off and leave this thread. Go save somebody else. You are nothing but a bother.

I'm glad you are still here because I wanted to tell you how when I read about the death of your husband I cried because it reminded me of the death of my dear partner from cancer. From diagnosis to her death took 2 years the last 3 months were unspeakably awful. She like your dear husband was an artist and musician and I so miss the sound of her playing guitar. The house is still full of guitars and, well, basically everything of hers as I can't bear to get rid of any of it. Your story touched me so much.
I'm here because even after 5 years this July the grief is unbearable and I wish I had the determination and courage you have because even though I have enough pills to ctb I'm too much of a coward at the moment to swallow them. I wish you well and peace in whatever you decide to do.
As for music, I was listening to Aphex Twin this afternoon :heart:
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
I know and I understand. I am not trying to be careless as I have dealt with ctb thoughts for years and experienced thoughts and attempts on friends. I understand that it was an half assed attempt for nothing. I will try not to hurt more people.

Thank you for accepting it and again, safe travels.
Again, fuck off. You are ruining my last hours. I have friends here. You will not be one of them, ever. You might want to look into changing your profile pic, so you know. It looks like an entitled princess. Goddamn, girl, grab a clue, somewhere.

A little Cornershop.
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,415
Again, fuck off. You are ruining my last hours. I have friends here. You will not be one of them, ever. You might want to look into changing your profile pic, so you know. It looks like an entitled princess. Goddamn, girl, grab a clue, somewhere.
Their pfp is a kpop singer from the group "Blackpink". I know because I am interested in that genre of music.

Asides from being ambushed like this, how are you feeling?
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
Their pfp is a kpop singer from the group "Blackpink". I know because I am interested in that genre of music.

Asides from being ambushed like this, how are you feeling?
I figured it was some kind of Kpop stuff. I don't know too much about that genre, I just know that that person really pisses me off. I'm trying to shut down, and I don't need some fool coming into my thread, trying to stop me. "Girl, I'm way older than you! You think I'm going to listen to your 20-something ass, and you're going to change my mind?"

How am I feeling? Still pretty awful. Those pancreatic flares don't just disappear. But, at least I stopped puking. Hot showers help. Plus, talking to my friend last night was a good salve. She's an awesome lady, and she knows my plans. We laughed and cried together.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,773
I really don't. I didn't know Op's back story but neither do you know mine. This isn't being any better than me.
But I am sorry if I hurt you with what I said and I understand your reaction.

Have a good day

I'm sure there are some people who can benefit from what you have to say in the Recovery section. Maybe try hanging around there for a bit and see if you can help somebody? I'm guessing you meant well enough, since your ban was lifted, so you might be able to make some friends there.

Again, fuck off. You are ruining my last hours. I have friends here. You will not be one of them, ever. You might want to look into changing your profile pic, so you know. It looks like an entitled princess. Goddamn, girl, grab a clue, somewhere.
Damn, I'm glad I never got on your bad side lol. The way you defended yourself in this thread was absolutely brutal, but you were in the right to do so.

Since you're still here, I'm guessing yesterday wasn't the right day? Whenever you feel you're ready, I hope your last few hours are good to you.
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,415
I figured it was some kind of Kpop stuff. I don't know too much about that genre, I just know that that person really pisses me off. I'm trying to shut down, and I don't need some fool coming into my thread, trying to stop me. "Girl, I'm way older than you! You think I'm going to listen to your 20-something ass, and you're going to change my mind?"

How am I feeling? Still pretty awful. Those pancreatic flares don't just disappear. But, at least I stopped puking. Hot showers help. Plus, talking to my friend last night was a good salve. She's an awesome lady, and she knows my plans. We laughed and cried together.
I don't blame you for being pissed off at them.

I'm happy that you talked to your friend last night, and that she is supportive of your freedom of choice. I hope that if you do go through with it, this is the absolute right decision for you. I will trust that you're making the most informed decision on this as possible.
 
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that smell

that smell

Member
Apr 1, 2023
55
I've enjoyed reading your posts for the short time I've been a member on the site and thank you for sharing the great music. Sending you and Kali my best. I hope you're able to find your peace.
 
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nonialabaster

nonialabaster

Experienced
Jan 4, 2023
263
I'm sure there are some people who can benefit from what you have to say in the Recovery section. Maybe try hanging around there for a bit and see if you can help somebody? I'm guessing you meant well enough, since your ban was lifted, so you might be able to make some friends there.


Damn, I'm glad I never got on your bad side lol. The way you defended yourself in this thread was absolutely brutal, but you were in the right to do so.

Since you're still here, I'm guessing yesterday wasn't the right day? Whenever you feel you're ready, I hope your last few hours are good to you.
Mark always described me as a Brutal Realist. He meant it as a compliment, and a truism. He was right. I take no shit, from anyone. I'm not a redneck-fighter, don't get me wrong. But, I will not stand for any person, trying my patience. I'm very small, topping out at 110 lbs, on my best day. I'm almost 5 4.


Neil Young. I hope you don't get bored with my music dumps. It's just my version of a Goodbye Thread.
I don't blame you for being pissed off at them.

I'm happy that you talked to your friend last night, and that she is supportive of your freedom of choice. I hope that if you do go through with it, this is the absolute right decision for you. I will trust that you're making the most informed decision on this as possible.
It has to be, and it is. It's not a rash choice. I've thought it over, for a long time. But, it's still scary. That's why I'm still here, on this forum. There is community here, and I'm doing this by myself. I appreciate you all.
 
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Foxes

Foxes

⭐️
Jun 30, 2020
80
It has to be, and it is. It's not a rash choice. I've thought it over, for a long time. But, it's still scary. That's why I'm still here, on this forum. There is community here, and I'm doing this by myself. I appreciate you all.

Where do I know this song from...? Hmmm...!!! 🤔

Love you Lori. Sorry that someone got on your bad side as you're planning your final day/hours. Let me know if you need a call from me. 🩷
 
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Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
I'm sure there are some people who can benefit from what you have to say in the Recovery section. Maybe try hanging around there for a bit and see if you can help somebody? I'm guessing you meant well enough, since your ban was lifted, so you might be able to make some friends there.
You are right :) And I am staying there now for the most part. I just came back to apologize but I guess that line is crossed. Thanks a lot tho for the advice, I appreciate it <3
 
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LostCauseLooknToCTB

LostCauseLooknToCTB

YoungLostHoplessandAlone
Apr 6, 2023
51
I accept your apology, because I'm a decent person. I still don't think you should be on this forum. People here are in a lot of pain, and careless words, like yours, do nothing to help us. They damage us further. Maybe Reddit is a better place for you. Kindly, and with all sincerity, fuck off.


This is Cake, doing a cover of one of the best Drag Anthems ever, by Miss Gloria Gaynor.


Get ready, kiddos! Here's some Beastie Boys! A truly great song and video, by the great Spike Jonze. Big video dump from Noni, today. My tummy has settled, letter mailed, and tonight is the night. I even managed to mow my lawn this morning!I have one of those quiet electric Japanese mowers, so I can mow in the early hours.

Wish you well hope to meet you there sometime in the near future.
 
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