Lord_Satan
Member
- Aug 8, 2026
- 9
Two days ago, I posted a thread saying I'll CTB yesterday morning. I woke up, started writing my letter and scheduled my Emails. I took time more that I expected.
When I first got the rope around my neck I didn't feel anything. but as I began chocking, I got extremely scared and before I blackout, I stood up. I couldn't continue from that point no matter how hard I tried. I felt extremely confused and didn't know what to do. My mother was about to get home at any given moment so I had to untie the rope quickly. Unfortunately, it left some really bad rope burns and ligature marks. When my mom saw it she was shocked at first then started aggressively yelling and repeatedly asking what are these marks.
I live with my single mom. When she saw these marks and found no response from me, she threatened that she'll send me back to my abusive dad and leave me forever. I was so shocked from all of these events that I forgot how to breathe for a second. After that I heard here calling him (She hasn't spoken with him in a really long time) telling him everything and telling him to come and take me. I entered my room and closed the door. I was hoping all of this was just a bad dream. I wished I didn't untie the rope and just proceeded.
I slept just to get out of all of this and hoped I don't wake up ever. Three hours after, my mom knocked on the door and entered. She started apologizing and saying she was just scared and earlier she was stressed because of some problems with her work. I didn't really say anythinv and she left the room. I was so devastated and didn't know what to do and slept the entirety of yesterday.
I gathered my thoughts today and calmed down a bit. But I still don't know what to do. I'm so scared to attempt CTB again and don't want to live anymore; I feel both dead and alive. What should I do?
When I first got the rope around my neck I didn't feel anything. but as I began chocking, I got extremely scared and before I blackout, I stood up. I couldn't continue from that point no matter how hard I tried. I felt extremely confused and didn't know what to do. My mother was about to get home at any given moment so I had to untie the rope quickly. Unfortunately, it left some really bad rope burns and ligature marks. When my mom saw it she was shocked at first then started aggressively yelling and repeatedly asking what are these marks.
I live with my single mom. When she saw these marks and found no response from me, she threatened that she'll send me back to my abusive dad and leave me forever. I was so shocked from all of these events that I forgot how to breathe for a second. After that I heard here calling him (She hasn't spoken with him in a really long time) telling him everything and telling him to come and take me. I entered my room and closed the door. I was hoping all of this was just a bad dream. I wished I didn't untie the rope and just proceeded.
I slept just to get out of all of this and hoped I don't wake up ever. Three hours after, my mom knocked on the door and entered. She started apologizing and saying she was just scared and earlier she was stressed because of some problems with her work. I didn't really say anythinv and she left the room. I was so devastated and didn't know what to do and slept the entirety of yesterday.
I gathered my thoughts today and calmed down a bit. But I still don't know what to do. I'm so scared to attempt CTB again and don't want to live anymore; I feel both dead and alive. What should I do?
