goodbye ?

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

im due to see the mental health team this afternoon. lots of mixed feelings. my first instinct and idea is to lie and say im fine and all that stuff so i can go home. but because my attempt didnt work i have been wondering if its a sign? ive never really been one to believe in signs but yeah i dont know. at present i still want to try again but i cant say that or i will be sectioned and i have been sectioned once before and it was awful. i think i will just lie

I think you should consider another method as @Tears in Rain has pointed out that there haven't been any confirmed deaths and you'll just damage your body and further increase your suffering.

 

[kittyswift]

Don't let yourself stress too much about it. It's perfectly normal to have these feelings after an attempt. They have proven to be both temporary and permanent ticket to recovery for some. Listen to your gut on what you want and follow that. If you believe you will never benefit from that place you can lie your way out of it and work on your desired aim from the outside.

thank you <3. i have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week anyway and im already under the home treatment team so my biggest fear right now is them knowing im lying and sectioning me anyway because theres not really much else to do! i'll try my best to appear regretful and in a better mood

I think you should consider another method as @Tears in Rain has pointed out that there haven't been any confirmed deaths and you'll just damage your body and further increase your suffering.

its just so hard because peaceful methods are so difficult to access. i dont want to do something like jump off a bridge or hang myself. no hate to people who choose thoses methods but its just not for me. my first choice was SN but i havent been able to find a source and antiemetics. admittedly a huge flaw in my attempt was unexpectedly being found. I think if i was in a remote location and combined with some alcohol or benzos i would have much better chances. i wouldnt be in any state to call for help even if i wanted to

 

[_alarmcloc_]

thank you <3. i have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week anyway and im already under the home treatment team so my biggest fear right now is them knowing im lying and sectioning me anyway because theres not really much else to do! i'll try my best to appear regretful and in a better mood

its just so hard because peaceful methods are so difficult to access. i dont want to do something like jump off a bridge or hang myself. no hate to people who choose thoses methods but its just not for me. my first choice was SN but i havent been able to find a source and antiemetics. admittedly a huge flaw in my attempt was unexpectedly being found. I think if i was in a remote location and combined with some alcohol or benzos i would have much better chances. i wouldnt be in any state to call for help even if i wanted to

Question, where did you get the BDO for your suicide method? Like anything i need to look out for when buying it?

 

[IonicLemon69]

I have never heard of this method before. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I am wishing you a well recovery from the physical side effects you may be feeling. I hope everything you are anxious about now ends up working in your favour.

 

[kittyswift]

Question, where did you get the BDO for your suicide method? Like anything i need to look out for when buying it?

i googled where to buy and it came up with a source on etsy, and one on ebay. (im uk based). it has to be 1.4 BDO and is likely to freeze or be semi frozen when it arrives. if it is frozen- just submerge the container in warm water.
update!! i still havent seen the mental health team because theyre so busy. youre not going to believe this next bit… i just got a phone call to let me know im being given an under 25s support worker for my recent hospital admissions because "i need to understand that drug abuse can kill"…. thats the whole point???!!!! im so angry now im going to have another idiot poking around in my life. ugh